How to Handle Working Full Time, a New Baby, and My House?!?!?

K.,

I just went back after having my second. It is hard. It did get easier with my son, the older he got. Around 2ish it was the easiest-- when he had actual friends at "baby school" (we don't call it daycare). There is no good answer to staying home versus working. I believe I am a better Mom because I don't stay home full time (now part time could be a different story). Make the time you have count and now that some days will be harder than others. At least you'llhave the summers off!

I have a 5 year old and a 6 year old and I have always worked full time. Its so hard. I missed my kids alot but as they get older it gets better. I just learned to make sure the time we had together was and is quality. I didnt go out very much but I do more as they get older. Just remember that when you leave your child in a happy place that even though they miss you its good socilization time and learning time. It will help her be an individual and shell be more responsible.

I understand. I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months old. I worked 4 full days... So I did get 1 extra day with her but I felt like I missed so much. I got home at 5 pm and between dinner and a bath (not every night) that was the entire evening... I got home at 5 and had to put my baby to bed at 7 (sometimes I tried to keep her up until 730 but she was ususally tired and wanted to go to bed)

Working and having a young child is very difficult. I would suggest that you cherish the limited time that you have with your baby. Dont spend your evenings trying to clean the house or run errands. I ran errands after she went to bed. You are a teacher so you will have many days off- winter break, easter break and then the extended summer break.

I had a second child and I decided to quit my job to stay home. I am much happier being home with the kids than working to pay someone to take care of them.

You might consider taking a year off from teaching next year. If you can afford it - spend all the time you can with the baby while she is a baby they grow up so incedibly fast.

Hi K.,

I also work full time, and have a 2 year old daughter. It does get better in time. There is definitely a sense of quilt, but I always looked at it as giving my daughter a good life. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but it is hard in todays world.

Hi K.,
I too work full time away from the home. It is hard especially at first. My situation is a little different b/c I work in a hospital I can work "weird" hours so I am home with my little guy more. It takes it toll on me but seems worth it right now. Believe it or not your feelings will change somewhat as your baby gets older. You don't feel as bad leaving them b/c they have so much fun with other kids and learn so much!! My son is also very well socialized. He uses his manners, waits his turn and I think shares especially well for a 2 year old. All of this, (well some of it) I credit to going to day care/pre-school!!
Also do you have the summers off? That will be wonderful one on one time you can spend with your little one. At least if you do there is only part of the year you will be away and it will give you something to look forward to. All that summer fun!
Trust me I know from experience, it is huring you more than the baby right now. I also agree with the other moms. Spend the time your baby is awake with her and do your "chores" either early am before she wakes and your leave for work or later after she goes to bed. Also enlist your husband to help out (he may already) with a few things he may not have before (ie laundry, unloading the dishwasher). I often throw a load of laundry in very early before I even get ready for work, unload the dw and pick up a bit. You may have to get a few less winks (they are precious) but if you are a perfectionist like me it is worth saving your sanity and having the extra time with your baby. Lastly I have a cleaning lady come in twice a month. This saves me huge cleaning like showers and unused bathrooms. I still have to vaccum, dust, mop but just routine stuff and not heavy duty cleaning. It has been a life saver. It may not be cost effective to do it twice a month but even once a month to scrub your bathrooms would make a big difference.....just a thought. You will get it all toghether and be ultimately more organized than you ever imagined. Good luck and enjoy your little girl.

I feel the same way. I am a first time mom and am working full time. Just realize that your doing the best trying to provide for your child. It's also not the quantity of time you spend with your child but the quality.

Finally someone I can share this experience with! I am a first grade teacher and I had to face this fear in October and I am still going crazy trying to juggle things! I struggle everyday with whether or not I am making the right choice..and everyday I come up with a different answer! So, first I would tell you to take one day at a time, and it will get slightly easier as you become more familiar and comfortable with your child's daycare provider. Next, teaching is the best job for us moms because of all the time we get off....or so I am told! So just keep telling yourself that! It has been almost 4 months that I have been back and I still struggle with it almost as much as I did in the beginning. So, if you want to get some coffee and chat, let me know!

Hi K.!!! I totally understand your feelings on this!! I had such a hard time not being with my baby and I still have a hard time and she is 3 now. =) It does get easier with time! I just had to come to terms with myself that I am going back to work to help provide for her future and of course pay the bills. I will pray for you for help in this time of your life. Anytime you need to talk let me know!!!

Hi K.,
I just wanted to commend you on teaching and being a Mom both are tough jobs. My parents are both teachers (retired) so I can kind of relate on that level. I am a Dietitian but after the second child I decided to stay home (company wanted me to move to Ohio). Anyways, I just wanted to say that I think you are setting a great role model for your daughter by working, my Mom did it all, there were six of us and her job was 30 plus miles away...so you can do it. Just do all you can in the summer and be there when you can (your daughter's special events, birthdays, first day of preschool, kindergarten etc). All I saying (I think is that I feel I turned out great and both my parents worked full time...so try not to struggle with your decision) PS Staying at home is not always All it's cracked up to be
R.