How to Get Toddler to Eat

Wow...he eats better than I do! I went through that for a short time with my second daughter and my pediatrician just told me to give her a multi-vitamin. She would only eat mac and cheese for about six months. I didn't fight it at all and after that she started eating. I found out that if I didn't make it a battle...neither would she. I would never starve them and I would change pediatricians ASAP if mine told me to do that. She's now 9 and very athletic and my best eater! She even likes spinach. Something I hate and refuse to cook!
They will grow out of all their food hangups I promise. Just give 'em a flintstones and relax...you deserve it!

My son's four and I've been there, done that. At one point all he would eat were chicken nuggets, ketchup and yogurt. Starving didn't work, forcing made eating a negative experience and I was a single mom at the time and at my wits end! So I quit fighting him. I took the foods he would eat and started blending things in them. First I put blended greenbeans in his yogurt. Then he caught me doing it one day and then all he would eat was nuggets and ketchup! So, I put the greenbeans in the ketchup bottle. Then I started smoothies. First I put fruit and veggies (frozen) with yogurt and ice cream. Then slowly, and gradually, I removed the ice cream and yogurt and now he sucks down smoothies everyday. Sometimes I even put in hard-boiled eggs and rice cereal or cheerios and just blend it all up! He loves them and I don't have to fight with him or worry. And because of that, his palate has expanded and he's more willing to try new things b/c his tastesbuds are exposed to it in the smoothie first. He eats scrambled eggs now, cheese, grilled chicken, hamburger meat of any kind, waffles, everything. He still hates things that are liquid and solid at the same time, like soup or watermelon, but that's because he has low muscle tone in his mouth and can't control both textures at the same time. The smoothies help with strengthenin this because they are cold (makes muscles tighten) and served through a straw and are thick (mouth muscles get a work out). If he has sensory issues, and it sounds like it does, then he's NOT going to eat foods that he has issues with and that's why starving and forcing don't work. you should find a feeding specialist (usually a speech therapist knowledgable about sensory integration.. might talk to Our children's house in Irving) who can start a desynsetization process to help expand his diet. Think about your own sensory aversions to certain foods and magnify that feeling for your child. Sometimes, looking at it through there eyes can help you feel less stressed and more creative about getting in proper nutrition. I'm proud to say that because of my son's smoothies, he is NEVER sick (even though he has Down sydrome and is "supposed" to have a supressed immune system) He's very tall (also uncommon to Down syndrome) and he's not mentally retarded (He can read and everything) It's good to push the nutrition, but be sneaky and lay off of the traumatizing eating sessions until he's ready to choose for himself. Keep putting it on his plate, but if he doesn't eat it, it's no big deal if he's drinking it in the smoothies. Also remember to put different things in the smoothies so the taste changes and helps to expand the palate. Cover up the veggies with fruit, and stay away from cucumbers and brocoli 'cause they can overpower the fruit. The cereal or wheat germ helps give texture to the smoothie so that he can begin to develop a tolerance. Just start out really slowly so he trusts that they are going to be good. You might even start throwing the frozen mixed veggies into his fruit smoothies now. let me know if you have any questions.

R.

Hi S.!
STOP! STOP STOP!!!! OK, now go to www.aap.org and buy their book on nutrition and kids.... it is awesome! It is the American Acadamy of pediatrics, they discuss serving portions, food battles etc.... The book covers newborn to teen.
I am a Pedi RN and I have 4 kids, ages 9.5years-22mos. Your son is obviously smart.... and food is a battle he can win! He knows it. He gets lots of attention from mom!
My bests advice basically follows your pedi- Make breakfsat. It can be something he likes or doesn't or a combo. Let's say pancakes, fresh fruit and OJ. Give it to him, set the timer for 20 minutes or whatever and then clear the plate. Sanck time- a small snack- grapes? Carrots w/ ranch? Apple and peanur butter? Goldfish.... again, timed. Then Lunch, same again. Get the idea? It doesn't always have to be foods he dislikes, it always has to be your choice. THe more you beg and plead, the more he will resist. Se YOUR boundries and that is the end of the discussion :-)
As a matter of refrence- my 9 y/o did not eat dinner 90% of the time from the time he was 18 months to the time he was 5 ish. The only 2 rules we have at meal time is that we all eat together- if someone doesn't like dinner they still sit at the table w/ us, and no saying "Yuck" or anything of the sort. That earns automatic bed. Dessert is an occassional treat. No one knows when dessert night is, but you have to have eaten your dinner to get it... except for b-day parties etc....
PLease feel free to e-mail me with any further questions!!
Hang in there girl!

u need to check out the Love and Logic book by Dr., Charles Fay - what they recommend is giving toddlers choices - would u like this or that - and gradually work him into healthy foods maybe - it is a great book recommended by pediatrician -

I have had plenty of experience with picky eaters from my own children and I have to agree with your doctor... kids won't starve themselves and will eventually eat something... I recommend making food available every two to three hours and offer small portions... even if it's peanut butter on wheat crackers, it still has some nutrition... the rule in our house (and in my in home daycare) is that I cook one meal for everyone and if you don't want to eat, don't BUT that's all there is until the next snack/meal time... food is the only thing your child can control at this stage of their life and you don't want to turn it into a battle ground... this is truly more of a control issue than a food issue... I know it's hard but remember that you're the Mommy and it will get better! I hope it helps! :)

The best book I've read is Child of Mine - the author's basic premise is that when it comes to meals, the adult is responsible for providing a balanced meal/snack at regular intervals, and that the child's job is to eat however much of the food that is offered that they want. And that can mean they choose to have only 2 bites, or no bites, or only the hot dog, etc. And that's all there is to it - here's the food, and the rest is up to the child. I'm not even sure why your ped thinks offering cheese, fruit and veggies only is a balanced meal. That sounds crazy to me. Imagine if you were offered the same food for a week - you'd probably be sick of it, too, especially if you didn't like it to begin with. So I'd suggest that you just relax and take a breather on the whole eating thing. It sounds like he's eating a vareity of foods. Continue to offer them and to offer new foods with them. My son sometimes doesn't like when I put something new on his plate or something he doesn't like. I respond "that's okay, i'm just offering it to you. you don't have to eat." Sometimes he takes it off his plate completely, sometimes he just leaves it there, sometimes he tries it. But there's not struggle over trying to get him to eat. And at 29 months he only weighs 23 pounds so it is a constant reminder to myself that I can't force him to eat because I know that I could get caught up in wanting him to eat more because he's so thin.
Anyway, good luck to you guys!

you may want to consider an evaluation with a speech/language pathologist or occupational therapist that specializes in swallowing/eating/texture. your little one may benefit from therapy that is designed to help them get used to different textures of foods.

I also have challenges with food with my 20 month old so I thought I would respond to your email as I feel your pain. I must say though, from what you've said in your email, in my opinion he's eating a decent variety of food that is giving him what he needs (protein, fruits, grains, etc...).

My doctor also told me that if he didn't eat what I had prepared get him down and don't give him anything but I do not and would not go a whole week with that. I think that's extreme and if that's what your doctor told you I personally think its wrong and you should get a second opinion if you feel you need one. It's hard on your child and hard on you I'm sure. I get my son down from the table if he doesn't eat and if he acts hungry I'll put the same plate/food back in front of him. If he still doesn't eat it he goes to bed without dinner. But the next day is a new day and I don't necessarily give him the exact same thing again.

I don't have the answer, but I would tell you not to make every meal time and unpleasant experience for the child-then he may really start to develop food issues.

My son eats pizza, grilled cheese and cereals (oatmeal, cream of wheat, etc...) as well as all kinds of snack stuff. What I do is attempt to get the nutrition in him through other things. I buy V8 fusion as his juice as it gives him a serving of veggies (or so it says). I buy the milk with the extra protein, etc...I'm sure you get the point.

I don't think the "variety" is as important as making sure they are getting the nutrients they need.

Good luck.

K.

I went throught the same thing with my son until my pediatrician recommended a supplement called Juice Plus. It comes in two forms : fruits and vegetables. He takes three fruit gummies in the morning and three veggie gummies in the afternoon. What they are: the nutritional essence of 17 fruits, vegetables and grains (apples, oranges, pineapples, cranberries, peaches, cherries, papaya, carrots, spinach,broccoli, kale, cabbage, parsley, beets, tomato, barley and oats) in a tasty "gummy" form. My son loves them. They are whole food based nutrition with no artificial flavors or coloring and no hydrogenated oil. In addition to the gummies providing my son the 5-9 recommended servings of fruits and veggies per day, I have found that since taking them, he has begin to become a bit more adventurous and occasionally asks to try some of the fruits and veggies that are compounded into the gummies in their true form. Some he likes, others he does not, but at least he wants to try them, so I consider that progress. You may want to look into it. I am sure you can find out more info somewhere on the web. If you'd like, e-mail me and I will send you the e-mail address of the rep I buy my son's from so she can get you more info. Good luck!

My son had the same problem. Would not eat anything "wet", would retch when he saw anything new and 'yucky'. He has just turned 5 now and while he is not perfect, he is better. So, I think a lot of it is just the age. Our doctor told us that he may just have really sensitive taste buds, but as long as he has a few good quality foods he'll eat, he's okay. Also, if he'll drink milk, try putting Carnation instant breakfast in it once a day - good vitamin source. I've found that the less emphasis we put on 'what' he eats, the better he will eat - with mine it seems to be a bit of a control thing too.
Keep putting what you want him to eat on his plate - don't make any big deal of it. Just tell him that he doesn't have to eat it, he just has to leave it there. He will eventually get used to it and try it, but it will take a while.
Hang in there - I know it's frustrating but it does get better!

My advice - smile, relax and keep being the wonderful mom that you obviously are. He'll eat enough and his diet isn't horrible. My daughter has major texture adversion. She is a smooth textured gal. She's growing, she's a perfect weight, and she eats how, when, and mostly what she wants. I don't limit her food and I offer anything and everything. But I don't make it a power struggle because if kids have control over anything in their lives it is what goes in their mouths. Sorry for rambling. Hope it all goes better. He sounds like a very exceptional little boy.

S.,
I think the difficulty eating stage happens with most children around this age. My son was purely just a yogurt eater from age 2-4 that was literally all he would eat. He's now 6 and his variety of food has changed a lot. My pediatrician at that time said to just feed him what I know he will eat and add a new food every couple of days not a lot just enough for a bite or two. Eventually, they will add new foods. I wouldn't stress about it two much they are so small at this age that they really don't seem like they eat enough to sustain life :) His diet doesn't really sound bad at all. Most kids at this age aren't really big meat or veggie eaters. My son at that age wouldn't eat meat or any vegtables except corn. My son now loves salad and almost any green vegetable. He likes the typically fruits apples, grapes, melon. He loves chicken, ham and turkey. My daughter on the other hand is 23 months old and loves spicy food and most anything that my husband and I will eat. I keep waiting for her palette to change and for her to switch to the picky stage. I'm still in awe that your pediatrician would recommend doing a "stravation technique". That just doesn't sound right and I don't blame you for abandoning that approach. In the end your his mother and you have to do what you feel is best. I would say to just try small amounts of new foods you think he might enjoy and just hang in. Eventually, he will eat more. Good luck! I hope this helps.
K.

I've had a similar problem with my 7 year old, but my 3 year old loves lots of different fruits and vegetables. It's amazing how different kids are even though you raise them the same way. I'd like to know who your pediatrician is so I don't go there. I think the starvation method is borderline cruelty (not necessarily neglect because you are offering him food. My daughter likes french fries so I tried deep frying veggies in a tempura batter and she loves it. You can do this with broccoli, carrots, zuchini, etc. Something else to try is getting him involved in the food preparation. Ask him to help you plan a menu, take him shopping letting him help fill the basket with these fruits and veggies, etc. Then, get him to help you prepare the meal (making sure to offer at least one of his favorite things so he'll feel secure). Let him dress up a vegetable dish by sprinkling a little cheese on top or chopped nuts. Don't force him to eat anything, but serve dinner family-style passing each dish around once. Announce to everyone at the table that he (enter name) helped make the spinach dish or the broccoli dish and how yummy it is.

I have always been told to keep offering things that have been turned down before and eventually, they'll try it. Our tastes change as we mature, that's obvious. If this fails don't be discouraged. Just give him a multi-vitamin and keep trying!

S. -

Well, I'm not a doctor, but I don't agree with your doc. I think toddlerhood is a very stubborn "control" phase, and it sounds to me like you are in a control battle with your son that is centered around food. My son is in his 2's, and food is a big issue, but my doc told me to make it a NON-issue and be very laid back about it, so my son begins to understand that there are no control issues associated with eating. This has worked amazingly well. My doc was also very clear that kids will get what they need, even if you are positive they aren't getting enough, etc. To be on the safe side, I started giving my son vitamins and he LOVES them - they are a special treat he begs for.

I do limit bad snack foods - like he doesn't ever have access to potato chips, and I usually don't order french fries. But when we have meals, I put a little bit of everything we're eating on the plate, and I make sure he has something he'll eat, hot dog, whatever, and some days he's tries everything there is, some days, only the hot dog, some days nothing. He tells me when he's done, I let him get up from the table immediately. If for whatever reason I really want him to eat a bit more, I offer him my fork (the salad size). He likes to use my "big boy" fork to spear his food, and will usually take a few more bites this way.

One other trick I know is to try eating with another family that has children just slightly older. My toddler loves his older nephews and imitates them - inlcuding eating what they eat.

In any case, once my doc told me to let go of the controlling aspect of it, I've had much more success in introducing new foods. It is "no big deal" if he tries it, or doesn't. This is the time period when toddlers really want to be in control, so maybe your issue isn't about food at all. Something to think about...but I personally don't agree with witholding food - I think that starts the cycle of food obsession that could be problematic on down the road.

Good luck!

S.

I know what you are going through. I have a very picky little girl who is now 6. I will tell you it gets better as they get older. She will now try things and eats more foods then she has before. I'm surprised your pediatrician has a problem with what he eats. Mine says as long as she eats and takes a vitamin she's fine. Is he under or over weight? One thing that has worked for us is if other kids like it. I would try giving him new things in a situation where other kids are also eating it. This works for us at grandma's, aunts, friends, etc. That's how we got my oldest to try ham which she will now eat. It also works well if we are not the ones giving it to him. Also try to prepare him. Warn him that you are making somethng he has never had before and it's really good. Give him lots of prior warning so it's an idea he is used to. I was a very picky child and only survived childhood on mac & cheese, sandwiches, and chicken nuggets & fries. He will grow out of it! I promise he will not be 15 and refusing to eat pot roast and mash potatoes. I hope this helps.
J. L.

My doctor told me they would eat what they need; give them a vitamin and don't stress over it. Will he eat off your plate? For many years, my children did not have plates of their own, and they would help me eat all my food and make a "happy plate". I saw the three cheese mac and cheese at Wal-Mart and Dollar Tree.

I do not agree with your Dr. I have a 3 year old who is exactly the same!! His Dr. is very laid back, he has 5 young children himself, and he recomended that I just let him eat what he will eat and he will eventually come around. To be honest when I read your list of things your son will eat I was inpressed. There are some great things on there. Hang in there, I know it will get better.

Hi S.,
I bet you will get many varied responses to this age old battle...
I am a mom of 4 and it makes me laugh because I remember when I was a new mom and my first born was very picky... don't worry, lead by example and as long as he is not just eating cookies/donuts/fruit snacks only... you and he will be fine! I can't believe your docs. advice though... does he or she even have kids? All my kids are different in their early likes and dislikes ( my oldest is 17yrs. and youngest 6 mos.) Any way when the kiddos are involved, sometimes they will try new foods, or if they are in fun shapes... but I am sure you have heard that before... No worries you are doing great! There is always supplements/pediasure drink, too.
Have fun it goes by fast!

It seems to me like you are doing great with his diet. He is getting nutrition from the little smoothies, ect. My advice to to stop making it an issue and just feed him what you want him to eat. Make sure that there are SOME things on there that he likes to eat (I would do small portions of the tasty stuff so he does not fill up only on what he like to eat.) It seems as though this has become his way to show his independance and will. Don't even let it phase you. Remain upbeat and do not mention a thing about his eating while at the dinner table. This will show him that you are out of the game and that you will remain calm no matter what he eats or doesn't eat.

Hope this helps! I have been there twice! It gets better!

I have a friend who's niece had acid reflux as a baby so they think that has affected her taste buds. Anyway, she won't eat anything but salty food - this kid won't even eat sweets. Anyway, her Mom uses a reward system to get her to eat. But it sounds like your reward system involves food. Try other rewards such as a star chart. My daughter eats great but refuses every other request. We started a reward system with tokens this week that she can accumulate to win prizes and it's working great! Small prizes are play-dough time, bubbles, stickers. We plan to introduce big prizes such as trip to zoo later. Good luck! Hope this helps!

p.s. I would back off for awhile before starting anything new to let him relax his resistance.

S.,
I am too, a mother of two young boys who ent through the exact same thing! I would not recomend to tell you to starve him, but make eating fun! Make funny shapes out of food, use cookie cutters to shape the bread, and eat with him. If you are still worries about his health and nutrition, get him the Pedia Sure drinks.(i know they are expensive, but they work).If you need anything, I will love to help in anyway that I can, I am 28, and my boys are 2, and 5!
don't give up, this is a test, and it too shall pass! Have a good day!

Hi, there - first of all, I think it's strange advice from a pediatrician to "starve" your child regardless of the technique. He probably has food issues because you may be making such a big deal of it. It sounds like he's thriving on what he is eating so take it easy and stop making mealtime a battle. Keep his food simple and low on the flavor, kids like pasta with no sauce or mild-flavored sauces. We had to make mealtime fun by calling green beans grasshopper legs or grass. We also introduced Ensure to help our son get more protein if he was in a phase where he wasn't eating much meat. I'm sure other mom's have much more advice, too!

Hi-
Baylor Our Children's House has a location in Irving. Among other things, they work with kids who have eating issues. My daughter goes to the location in Grapevine, and we have had pretty good success. Good luck!

I've been a child care provider for over 20 years, have raised two daughters and have 4 grandchildren.

I understand your concern about your son's diet; but I think you are worrying too much about it. How's his weight, height, and bloodwork?

It's not unusual for a child to be picky about what he eats. That and potty habits are the areas that can often become power struggles between children and parents. Sounds like that may be the case here.

His diet isn't extremely varied, but it's not really that bad either. If I were you, I'd back off and quit worrying.

Minimum standard food requirements for a child your son's age would probably be a surprise to you. As long as he's getting a grain, fruit, and milk for breakfast....an ounce of protein, a veggie of sorts, fruit, milk, and a grain for lunch and the same for dinner...he's doing great. Peanut butter and yogurt are good sources of protein.

Just relax, mom, and enjoy that happy and healthy little boy. Ease off for both of your sakes. As he gets older, he'll begin to try more foods...especially when he begins to make friends and sees what they eat. The kids in my daycare group will do lots of things here with their little friends that they won't do at home with mom and dad. It's normal.

Be grateful if this is your worst problem with your son. Good luck and God Bless.

personally, I would just back off. toddlers eat really poorly sometimes. I'm surprised that he went a week without really eating. maybe if you ignored it, didn't make a big deal, eventually it would become less of a power struggle. I'm not educated in this matter, so this is definitely NOT a professional opinion. I'm just another mom.

it sounds to me like what he's eating isn't all that bad. I give my son a multi-vitamin. if you're really worried about his fruit and vegetable intake, you could check into the kid's gummies at Juice Plus. my husband takes the adult version. the kid's gummies are just that, gummies. they come red (fruit) and green (veggie). I think you could find someone online, or I have a friend I could connect you with to order some if you'd like.

I was a picky eater as a child. I used to sneak spoonfuls of brown sugar as a preteen! the worst was beef. I still don't like the taste of beef by itself, I like it heavily seasoned. I remember sitting at the table and chewing and chewing and eventually spitting it out in the toilet. sometimes my mom just came up with these awful sounding combinations (peaches with biscuits, pear halves with mayo dolloped in the middle and grated cheese on top...yuck!). I never wanted to eat it. I would eat these combinations individually, but not together.

I'm not suggesting you start being a short-order cook (I'm not!), or letting him eat happy meals all the time. it sounds like his diet isn't awful. I have a 32 month old. he gets a plate of what we're having for dinner. within reason, if he just HATES what we're having I'll make him something simple, but I don't make him his own separate meal.

I'm sorry you're having such struggles! I'm sure eventually it will get better. maybe he'll branch out as a teen or adult. I have a friend who doesn't eat anything white (ranch, mayo, cream cheese, yogurt, sour cream) and eats his salad with no dressing. it's quirky, but it makes for interesting conversation!

ok i think your doc is somewhat right there has been research that has shown children who are given many healthy choices fruit veggies meats healthy crackers(organic earths best crackers shaped as elmo and big bird are my daughters favs!) will eat only what they need and when they were tested blood stool ect. they got all the nutrition they needed over a period of that week! personally i would not offer anything fried,breaded or processed. only offer thing similar to what he likes like cheese sandwiches,the yogurt is wonderful and try to mix fresh fruit in the yogurt, and offer baked chicken he will get hungry enough but i would still give him milk i would never not offer my child milk maybe just give him the food first with water then after he eats a little offer milk.it will take a while to change his tastes but it will happen he will eat what he's given you just have to stay strong i know you can do it. my niece was given tv dinners mac and cheese(unhealthy!) chicken nugget,fingers and she is now nine years old with high cholesterol and obese. this couldv'e been prevented with a healthy diet right from the start i know you can do it and obviously you want your child to be healthy! also look for books that talk about the nutrional values in food and have great recipes for kids meals. i hope this helps you! oh and thats great he drinks smoothies maybe you could put a vitamin powder in it too so he'll have more nutrition. good luck and God bless!!!!

Satrr

Are you still having issues with your toddler eating?
T.