How to Get My 4 Yr Old to Be Trained at Night

I get my 3 1/2 year old up at night before I head to bed and have him pee. I just keep the lights low and carry him in. He goes right back to sleep but this seems to make a big difference for him, it's what helped him stay dry. Good luck!

Hi,
we woke my son up every night around midnight to "pee" him untill he was a month shy of 5. It was just the easiest thing for us to do. He is a heavy sleeper and usually slept thru this, we had to sit and coax him for about five minutes,"come on sweetie, push out the pee, go pee, come on..." till he peed and he never remembered in the morning!
Then one day we forgot to wake him and it was fine and has been ever since.
Good luck!

My oldest son is 7 and still wets the bed sometimes and my 4 yr old never did. Sometimes there's nothing you can do except wait for their bladders to catch up with the rest of their body. Just keep doing what you're doing by stopping his nightly drinking (maybe even try stopping the liquids a bit earlier) and having him go potty the very last thing before he gets into bed.

I have a son and 2 daughters. My daughters were night trained around the age of 2. My son, on the other hand, still occasionally wets at night and he is 8 years old. I worried about it, too, until I found out there are many boys his age who still wear pull-ups to bed. I decided that it was best to just let him wear the pull-ups and not make a big deal about it. In the last year or so, he has become real concious about it. He wears underwear to bed now, but he just had an accident a couple of nights ago. He sure doesn't seem to wet as much as he used to. My advice is to wait it out...it will get better. Some boys just have bladders that need to develop some more. Hope this helps!!

We are going through this with our 3 yr old. A friend of mine is a peds. doctor and said the same thing our doctor said... "it just takes time".
Our son is a heavy sleeper so he will not wake up to go to the bathroom. They told me that someday his body will just naturally know. I struggle with this as I had a cousin that wet the bed until he was 15 and do not want my son to go through that. But they assured me that my cousin was a rare case!
So hang in there and hopefully our nights of wet sheets and kids will come to an end soon.

My son was soaking wet at night until he was 7 yrs old. We talked to the Dr. about it and he said he would out grow it. He did. Yes, it is expensive for pull-ups but it is his immature body. It isn't anything personal. Boys have a harder time controlling their bladder than girls.

Just be patient. One day our son woke up dry and now 2 yrs later, he is still dry at night!

I would not worry about it, it is my understanding that there is a trigger in the brain which wakes us up when we need to go to during our sleep, but that trigger matures at different rates for different children. I would not do any bladder enlarging exercise with out talking to his Dr first. I've heard that holding 'it' could cause kidney damage, of course that could be an old wives tale, but I'd make sure before you try it. To help prevent pull up leaks try going up a size, also there are some made for night-time which are more adsorbant. My son is also 4 and is fully 'day trained'. As far as at night I always put a pull up on him. I'd say it's dry most of the time in the AM but sometimes it is not and I'm not real keen on the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to change sheets. In fact my attitude is if need be he can sleep in pull ups until he's 18 but then he'll have to buy his own.

Sometimes it takes longer for boys. My 11 year-old occasionally has accidents, it runs in the family. We take him to the bathroom when we go to bed. When he was younger and did it more often we would also set the alarm so he could get up around 1 or 2 am. Mostly we woke up then and took him in.
I know it doesn't make sense because they are dry during day. An exercise you can do during the day; give him small amount of water or kool-aid every 10 minutes. Ask him to hold off on the bathroom as long as possible, this is suppose to stretch out the bladder. I never did the small amounts of liquid, but I do ask him to hold it as long as he can.
But please don't stress over it or he will feel very self conscious over it and that could be very bad and have long term affects. Sometimes the insides don't grow as fast as the outside.
Be patient because it really is worse for them.

There is no way for you to make your child not pee while he sleeps. His bladder is either mature, or it isn't. Some kids never have problems with night wetting, and others do until they are much older. Being stressed out about it isn't going to help you or him.

Besides what you've done, I would suggest that before you yourself go to bed for the night, wake him and have him go to the bathroom.

I have a four 1/2 year old and he still wears #6's to bed, pull ups when traveling. I have tried to wake him up at night, but when it appeared that he was sooo sound asleep it wasnt going to make a difference.... we just give him his #6's everynight. My mom said I did the same when I was little. He will out grow it. Hang in there. Dont be worried. I get tired of washing the sheets when it happens two nights in a row, even more upset when he knows he is wet and climbs into my bed in the am. OR when he pees in them while he is awake in the morning, being too 'lazy' to go to the bathroom, and then they leak because they are already so full. ....Some Day......

This is EXACTLY what we are currently going through with our 4 year old! The only thing that seems to be working is setting an alarm and waking him at 1:30 every morning and taking him to the potty. We still use pull-ups just to be on the safe side but so far just getting him on a regular wake-up schedule seems to be working.

My oldest son was about 3 when he was completely potty trained - day and night.

We did not reward him other than praising him for a good job when he went where he was supposed to, and making it clear that we were disappointed when he didn't.

My husband takes our youngest (almost 7 months) with him to the bathroom at least a few times a week already. Just as young children often want to do what the adults are doing - like eating with utensils or table food - they want to do what they see daddy/mommy doing in the bathroom.

The nighttime? Could be deep sleep, could be too much liquid too close to bed time. Keep an eye on the child during the day and figure out how long it is between drinking and going to the bathroom. Then move the "last drink" of the evening back that far and see if it helps.

Some kids just have problems. My sister did, it took her until 7 or so before she stopped bed wetting at night.

I have the same problem with my 4 year old. We've been doing pull-ups for about 1.5 years. I've tried rewards. We have a calendar and he gets a sticker whenever he's dry and candy. If he's dry for a whole week we can go buy new underwear that he picks out and he can sleep in it. So far we haven't bought any underwear. I think it is more of a physical thing. I think his body is just not ready yet. He is a very sound sleeper and sleeps all night so he's peeing while he's sleeping. I'm curious to see what other people say.

Looks like everyone seems to be in the same boat as us. I also have a 4 1/2 year old boy who pees the bed. he is my oldest so I just assumed this was part of being a kid. I just keep praying that it will stop SOON. I am so tired of changing his bedding. He has two brand new bedding sets that his dad won't let me use on his bed till he stops just sitting in a closet. The one set is Disney Cars. I really hope his bedwetting stops before he outgrows Cars. I really want to just break down and just give them to him but Dad has told him they are his reward for stopping bedwetting. He HATES pullups. HATES the thought of a diaper and I hate the fact that we can't always afford pullups. So have the time he is just in underwear wetting the bed. It really makes it hard to wash his bedding everyday and take care of all 3 kids and keep up on the rest of the wash. very irritating. I really hope my two younger daughters don't take this long to stop. My neighbor girl was about 4 but she also did not potty train until she was 3. My daughter is 2 and already trying to use the potty. she just wants to try when I just so happen to be nursing the baby so its kinda hard to work with her. I hope to have her trained before she is 3 and also have her night trained the same time. Same with the baby. I want her trained as soon as possible. LOL. She is my last so I want the diapers gone as soon as she shows signs of readiness. well hope that it helps to know there are many out there that have the same problem.

My oldest is 8 and has been trained since he was 3, however, he has always struggled with making it through the night or getting up to go on his own. In the beginning he would wet the bed almost every night, so my husband and I would make him go to the bathroom before bed, then we would get him up when we went to bed. He still sometimes wet the bed, but as he got older it happened less frequently. Now he occasionally still has accidents, but it seems to be getting better. I know that his dad and grandpa both had problems. My daughter (4 1/2) still wears a pullup to bed and she is wet sometimes and not others.

I know it gets frustrating, having to wash the sheets all the time, but it really isn't their fault. Just try to be patient and understanding.

Good luck.

S.,

As I am writing this respond, I too am washing my 4 1/2 year old sons sheets and bedding because he wet through from last night. Prior to that he had 4 nights in a row without a drop in his pull up. So, as he gets older his bladder is finally growing but I know it will be awhile before he is completely trained at night. He too sleeps very deep as well. So between that and underdeveloped bladder I'm sure that is why. I'm sure as he gets older he will out grow it. Preschool won't be a problem since he is in his big boy underwear, just make sure you put in extra clothes and plastic bag in case of accidents. Just hang in there.

S., yeah i had a hard time with my kids too, finally i took pull ups out the picture, and worked in a different direction, its a bit more work, but it worked, for me, i would first of all protect the matress, then i would buy him big boy pannies, or underware, and if he pees, he pees, he will not like it, then you AND him get up and clean it up, change his clothes, and have him help you strip the bed of wet items, and replace them all, and go back to bed, he will not like that, and the wetness he will feel, will be more like work, of course he will need reasurrance, from you that those things happen, and we will just clean it up, if he is yelled at , for doing what comes naturally this could stifle him wanting to be a big boy, i found pull ups did not really help at all, i resorted to even training pants and plastic pants, to help with the messes, so just be there for him when he does mess up and help him through it, you and him will be fine, enjoy life, D. s

Hi S.,
My daughter turned 4 in April but just stopped with the diapers at night in June. My son (now almost 7) was around 4 1/2 when he stopped. I think it's just developmental and i do believe it takes boys a little longer. I know that my parents used to wake up my brother to go potty when they went to bed. If they didn't he ended up having an accident. I would limit his drinks in the evening (and i've heard to not give milk in the evenings...don't know about that though). Then when you go to bed get him up to go to the bathroom. You will probably have to carry him and set him on the toilet, unless you can hold him up. It will take a little while of you saying "ok...go potty" or whatever you normally say but it might help. His bladder probably just needs time to grow. Good luck.

I had to respond to this one! Don't worry about it- My 6 year old son wore diapers at night until he was 5! Boys are notorious for late potty training, really nothing you can do except put towels under him and put him in diapers...boys have less control and take longer than girls for some reason..
good luck!

HI S.,
I have a 4 yo boy that had the same problem and like you we stop giving him anything to drink at night and have him go potty right before bed but he'd want to wear his pull up. We explained to him that he's a big boy and wears underwear now during the day AND night. We stopped buying Pull ups and he's stopped wetting the bed.Kinda like cold turkey... His incentive too, was that he started preschool today and he's been dry with the exception of a few accidents.
I've found that boys can take longer to potty train and it's when they are ready to do it, they will. Good luck..I'm no expert but that what we did...

Let me start off with saying some kids just have problems with bed wetting longer than others...my husband and I both were bed wetters when we were young(past age 6). Not every night though. I thought my kids were doomed!

My son had the same problem with this. Once my daughter came along though, we couldn't really afford BOTH diapers and pullups, so something had to change. He was 3 at the time. What I ended up doing was getting him out of bed in the middle of the night to go potty. Ever since having kids, I can't sleep through the night without having to go potty at least once, so I figured I get up anyway, I will just take him. It started off with me having to carry him in there(asleep) and then standing him up and saying, "Okay, go potty". Eventually we got to the point where he was too heavy, so I rolled him out of bed to stand up, and then helped guide him by the arms to the bathroom to go. After a while with this, he would eventually let go of my hands, and lift the seat & go all by himself. Occasionally he would sleep in our bed, so the nights when he was in his, I would let him sleep to test if he would wake up. And he did! Now, he gets up in the night if he needs to and goes alone. No accidents over night in a year or more! He is 5 right now.

My son has always been one of those DEEP sleepers...he could sleep through a tornado! I thought he would never wake up to go, but I really believe waking him up every night made the difference. You are TRAINING them to wake up.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy...it took a LONG time to make progress...and there were times when I would be in bed and dread having to get up to take him, but I REALLY didn't want to clean up a wet bed in the morning.

I hope this helps! I am thinking about starting to do this with my daughter who is almost 3 now. She is dry most nights, but occasionally wakes up wet. GOOD LUCK!

PS. Get a waterproof mattress cover(or 2 or 3!) for his bed! That will at least save your mattress! They sell them at walmart and target...about 10-15$ each. And I really don't think rewards will work either. I am sure not wetting the bed will be rewarding enough to him! He just needs your help!

My daughter was day-trained at 2 years old. She's now 4 and still wets her pullups most nights. She simply sleeps through it. Recently on vacation, she and I were sleeping together in a quiet, fanless room. She had been sleeping for about 4 hours by the time I crawled in next to her. As I was drifting off to sleep, I HEARD her pee in her pullup-it sounded like a stream of water hitting a sponge. At first I didn't know what it was, but then I realized it. I kind of nudged her to see if she could get up to go to the bathroom but she was in a deep state of sleep, the kind where if you pick up their arm, it just drops down. This reaffirmed my thoughts that she just isn't physically prepared to wake when she needs to urinate. No amount of rewards can change that! Talking to many moms and my physician, most kids can't wake up in time to go to the bathroom when they are sleeping. I wouldn't worry about it as they eventually (and gradually)grow out of it, usually by 6 years of age.

The chiropractor has really helped us! My son was wetting sometimes 2x a night. He considers himself a big boy and would cry at the sight of a pull up. Don't make a big deal out of it. When he stays dry it's high 5 in the morning, if not he helps take his sheets to the wash. I no long make the whole bed. just the fitted sheet and his special blanket, and water proof pad of course.
After 3 trips to the chiropractor over 1 1/2 yrs the wetting is occasional. It is worth it.
I've also read that if they are dehydated it can actually cause them to wet, so a sm. glass of water before bed can be a good thing.
I've found now that it is usually when he is overtired.
My oldest didn't have a problem, and my youngest so far has been getting a long with few accidents.

Hope this helps
L. SAHM 3 boys, 8,41/2, and 3

S. - believe it or not but chiropractic can help in this situation. It has something to do with the nerve endings and response to the bladder. If you live in the south metro area of Minneapolis, I have a couple of doctors I would recommend.

Give it a try.

D.

there really isn't a time frame for this. he just needs to mature and his bladder needs to grow. I wouldn't stress about this. My daughter didn't start waking up at night to pee until she was 5. It will happen when he is phycially ready.