We have two boys, one is just shy of 3 years old and still sleeping in his crib. We want him to share a room with his soon to be 5 year old brother. They "say" they want to, get all excited and then noone sleeps, they horse around, play and do everything but sleep.
We've tried staying outside the door and putting them both back in their respective beds, it doesn't work. We've taken toys away, no luck. The 5 year old is more understanding and will tell the 3 year old he needs to stay in bed, but mr. 3 years old doesn't listen to anything anyone says!
So we need suggestions? I really want them in the same room and get the 3 year old out of his crib. Any other suggestions?
Thank you for your time !
We are still struggling - here's the status:
3 year old does still nap for about 2 hours per day on average, he can go without a nap but will then fall asleep on couch during quiet time or in a car.
5 year old not napping, but only b/c he's in school in afternoons. On the weekend he will nap on the couch.
We tried the different bed times and it didn't work out, but we are not giving up and going to keep trying this method. What happens is once the 5 year old comes up to bed, 3 year old is STILL wound up and then they both get going.
The few times we've resorted to moving 3 year old back to crib, he will then go to sleep, but in the morning he is now climbing out of his crib so my husband is ready to just get rid of the crib all together. I don't know about this, I am worried we are going to be battling bed time indefinitely with the 3 year old. We can't move the bed into the 3 year olds room b/c it would require major disassembly.
Some asked why they need to share a room? It's just something we'd really like so that I can selfishly take 3 year olds room and turn into an office.
We really want to make this work? Last night I stayed in the room with both of them not saying a word for 45 minutes, just putting them back in their beds any time they got up. Eventually I gave up and my husband put the 3 year old in his crib, then about an hour later moved him while sleeping into the bed and shared room. So they woke up bright and early at 5am together.....
We have opened a can of worms.... thanks for all the advice
It sounds like you are trying to do two transitions at once, which can be really hard on a 3 year old. Either transition him to a big bed before moving him in with his brother, or transition him in with his brother while still in the crib and then once they are used to that you can transition him to the big bed.
Duct tape....it fixes everything, right?
Different bedtimes. The 3yr old should be going to bed 1/2 hour before the 5yr old. That way he's asleep and then the 5yr old who understands to shush and go to sleep can head to bed.
This works for our boys ages 8 and 5. They like to horse around and have bunkbeds so they chatter. But the 5yr old goes to bed 1/2 hour before the 8yr old and it works like a charm. He's totally passed out by the time my oldest goes to bed and my 8yr old of course knows to be quiet. He likes ti better too, thinks he's cool staying up later and he doesn't get bothered while trying to go to sleep.
My 6 yo and almost 3 yo share a room but they have since my younger boy was about 3 months old. When he moved out of a crib, we went right to a bunk bed cause there's not enough room in there for two twins. I put a soft bed rail on his bed when he first moved to the bed even though he doesn't move around alot. We stayed in there with him for a few nights and that's really the only adjustment it took him. He still will occasionally come out of bed but we just take him directly back to bed and he cries for a while. Usually if he does that he will do it a couple more times but I don't think we've had to put him back more than 3 or 4 times. I think I would transition him to a twin bed first and then try to put them in the same room. If necesscary to make it easier just put the mattress and box springs on the floor in "his" room so it's not so far off the floor and you don't have to set up the bed frame and then take it down again a short time later. Once he transitions to the new sleeping style and gets used to staying in the bed putting them together shouldn't be that hard, I'd think. We don't keep many toys or things of that sort in their bed room, just stuffed animals and books pretty much so they have never seen their bedroom as a play area, so that helps. If we are in the bedroom it is to read or sleep and that's it.
To get him used to the grown up bed if he is getting up alot maybe sit in the room with your back to him and put him right back in bed the minute he gets out. After he learns that that is not acceptable and gets used to staying in bed, I wouldn't think the other transition would be too bad, but both at once would be hard. The staggered bedtimes might work too, but for me it is alot easier to get them both down at the same time rather that extending the bedtime process...but we are different cause they have always been together. It was hard when he was a little baby and would wake my older son up but we didn't have much of a choice. My older son got used to it and now sleeps through pretty much any noise the younger one makes.
Do they 'have to' share a room?
3 year olds... have NO impulse control yet, nor is it fully developed yet at that age.
Sometimes, my eldest child, my daughter.... gets tired of minding her little brother, who is 4.
After awhile, it does get 'old'... having to get their younger sibling... to be quiet or STAY in bed... then the older one can't sleep, peacefully... or well.
Anyway, my 2 kids don't sleep together. But tried once, on a lark.
It was just too irritating.... since their energy/sleep levels... are NEVER synchronized.
But my son, slept in his crib until when even 3 years old. He LOVED his crib and slept SO well in it. Then along the way, while 3.... HE said he wanted to sleep in a bed. So then we did. HE was ready.
But we did not put our 2 kids together. My Daughter just gets too irked... with her little brother.... at night bopping around.... as he falls asleep differently than her.
we started our boys sharing a room at ages 4 and 2 and i really am a fan of the different bedtimes. even if the little one isn't asleep by the time the older one comes in, he's at least calm and tired. also i've noticed that having bunkbeds keeps them from messing around as much since they can't see each other.
maybe part of the problem so far has been the newness of not only sleeping in a big boy bed, but also sleeping with big brother-how exciting:)
i'm sure if given time and maybe a few new ideas it will calm down and be an enjoyable bedtime. i have actually woken up in the middle of the night to my 3 year old crying only to come in the room and find my 5 year old in bed with him and comforting him:) hopefully it will all work out- i truly believe both of my boys sleep better knowing the other one is there. good luck to you and your boys:)
Have you tried different bed times? Try putting the 3 yr. old down 1/2 hour earlier. Are they both still napping? We need more info.
M.
I agree with some of the other moms, once the newness wares off, they will both be fine. But, I have to say, I like Carol's idea. :) JK
We did the same. Our boys were 2 and almost 5. The first week was horrible...talking, playing, etc. After a week the "newness" wore off and they were fine. It's been about 7 months now and it's wonderful!
I think eventually the newness will ware off.
My boys share a room (now 7 & 5) and it's been great...in the beginning, (age 5 & 2) even though they each have their own bed they used to end up sleeping together and they would play for quite some time but like I said eventually the excitement will fade, you'll see.
