How to Get a Child to Open up and Talk to Me?

If she can write, see if she will write it down or draw a picture of what is happening.
Rather than asking her when she does something and snapping "where did you learn that" try talking about it when she is not doing something inappropriate. Like if you are playing a game or something just casually bring it up, " remember when you grabbed my boob in the bathtub, why did you say that?" Just try different ways of bring it up and be very open about the conversation. Like "who has small boobs?" or "have you ever opened someone else's zipper?" It is best for her to not be ashamed about the things she is doing so she will tell you if something more is going on.

I make up stories such as...I once knew a little girl who use to do things that weren't nice. She didn't understand why it wasn't nice because she had seen it from someone else. She never told her mom about it because she didn't want to get in trouble. One day she opened up and told her mom everything. Her mom was so happy she told her and explained to her why it was wrong. The little girl realized she didn't get in trouble and her mommy still loved her even though she did those wrong things.

You can change the story....but that's how I start off. The kids end up asking tons of questions about it such as...who was the little girl, what did she do wrong, did the other person get in trouble.....at the end you can say "This story is like me at the end. No matter what I will always love you. Is there anything you want to tell me?" Sometimes they will tell you that day or in a couple of days. Hope this helps!

If you ask her immediately after it happens, she is probably afraid she will get in trouble or the person she is learning it from will get in trouble. I would wait until you have a calm moment between the two of you. I wouldn't start out by asking her where she learned that from. Maybe start with "why did you do it"

Maybe try asking her "what" questions instead of "why" questions. "Why" can put people (including kids!) on the defensive, but if you ask "What made you think of doing that just now?" it sounds more like you're curious as opposed to like she's going to get in trouble. Also, if you didn't like the school counselor, you can always look for a different counselor. Sometimes personalities don't mesh and you need to find a good fit for your daughter. Good luck!

get that Dad out of the bath! & ask him what movies he's been watching with her there......& don't ask from a monitoring standpoint, but simply tell him you're updating your viewing list & what has he enjoyed recently.

One of my daycare kids has a dad who allows her to watch Freddy movies. She goes back to her mom's completely freaked. Maybe movies are the culprit (whether intentional/unintentional). But honestly, if dad believes that bathing together with a 6 y.o is ok....then he needs a reality check!

I agree with all the previous posts, and I do recall some of your other questions and about your ex taking a bath with her, and I think it's time to get some outside help! If you have an uncomfortable feeling about it, don't let it continue to go on. Talk to your lawyer about what needs to be done to get custody shifted/superivsed visits, etc. and then find out if your insurance will cover a visit to a therpaist of some kind. It may sound extreme, but her dad bathing with her is freaky.

Hi J., I don't know how helpful I will be here but wanted to share my story with you. I was molested when I was 7 and it was a one time thing but was a very scarring thing. The morning after the incident my brother came to the bathroom with me and there was blood on my underwear. He was scared but I told him it was nothing and to not tell anyone. He told my grandmother who then questioned me. I told her I fell. She asked me several questions and I still wouldn't budge. She told my mother who also questioned me and still I said I fell. The subject was dropped until I was 13 or 14 and wrote a note to a girl in school about the incident. I decided not to give the note out and threw it away. My mother found the note and confronted me. I was so mad and felt my privacy had been violated. She took me to a therapist but I told him it wasn't true and wouldn't talk. I finally got much needed help when I was 25. I am sharing this with you because I was so scared and couldn't open up. I truly think that I would have opened up soon after the incident if my mom would have pursued it then. Maybe if I would have known it happens to lots of other people and that it wasn't my fault it would have made me feel better. Also, if it's her father then maybe to let her know that no one will be in trouble would help. You could ask her to draw pictures her and her daddy or anyone do together. I very much urge you to get professional help as soon as possible. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this and hope that it really is nothing and maybe something she saw on tv. Good luck.