How to Get a 21 Month Old to Stop Using the Pacifier!!!

Hi V.

Try telling him to throw it in the trash himself and see how that works. I used that tactic for my sons when they were that age and after throwing their pacifier and bottle in the trash themselves, they didn't ask for it anymore. When they did ask for it, I reminded them that they threw it away.

Unfortunately I don't have any advice with the sister part, but I do have a son that used to LOVE his pacifier to say the least.

Also not a fan of the pacifier and were also only nap, bed and if he really needed comfort. When he was close to his 2nd b'day we started "talking" about giving up the binki. We waited until a month before his 2nd b'day and we had a "Bye Bye Binki" party. We "explained" to him as much as an almost 2 year old could comprehend that he was a big boy and that he was going to send his binki to babies that needed them. We had a party (me, husband and son) with his favorite dinner and cake to celebrate. He wrapped his binkis in a gift back and he and my husband put them in the mailbox to "mail" them to babies that needed them.

He had a great time and it worked like a charm. I was also pregnant at the time and he knew (as much as a 2 year old can) that he had a baby brother on the way. We never had any problems.

Hope that helps some.

Here are several suggestions:

Have him trade his pacifier for a special toy. You could also have someone else, like a grandparent help you with this. My mom had me trade my pacifier to my grandfather for a tricycle. When I asked for the pacifier, she told me I'd have to trade the trike back to Papa. Since I'd have to wait until we could go to his house, I'd forget all about it.

Tell him that big boys don't use pacifier, and let him have something to snuggle in bed instead.

Limit the pacifier to only the bed. If he picks up his sister's pacifier, tell him he needs to go lay down in bed to use it. After a while, he's going to decide he'd rather play without the pacifier than to spend the time in bed alone and without toys.

The only way I find to wean a child from a pacifier and especially a 21 month old is cold turkey. If you think about it who is it comforting you or the child. I find parents give it to them to keep them from whining, crying, tamtrums, etc. But the child need to suck is no longer there, especially if he is drinking from a cup, using a spoon, eating table food. Don't allow him to take pacifier from baby, try distracting him when he wants it. It may take some time he going to cry, be mad, but if you can stand the noise he will wean quickly if you are consistent, and don't give in and it can effect speech, and teeth. He should be talking in two to three word sentences, and the pacifier may interfer with child pronunciation. K. T

Hello V.
Hope all is well, my advice is to try and wean both of them off the pacifer. try giving them a juice bottle. This problem is sort of like when, I was weaning my oldest son off of the bottle. One morning, I waiting on the trash truck and took my son and his bottle to the trash tuck and dropped it in the trash tuck and pretended it was a accident. All my son said was bobo gone. (smile)

I hope this will help and good luck believe me, I know what you are going though.

My suggestion is to take it from everyone. If you don't like them than you don't need them. children are just fine with out them and it seems your are causing more trouble than they are solving. My daughter never used one. I got so mad when the nurse gave her one in the hospital when she was born. But she never used one again. I just comforted her when she was hurt. I would hold her and rub her back it worked just the same. It's not really your child who needs it, it's you. Parents use them because it gets there child to stop yelling. Weather its when they are sad, hurt or what not. You could take it away step by step and drag it out for weeks or months or you could just throw them all way and they will adjust in a few days. It's up to you. In the end you are going to get alot of yelling mostly at night. But after a few nights they will both stop. Good luck

It doesn't impact how many words they say it's HOW they say them.

I never had any problem with my kids using a pacifier I just never offer them one, but on Super Nanny I saw that a 3 yr old was using one and she told him that all the other babies need one to let him put ALL of them in a evelope and stick it in the mail box for the paci fairy to get and she will leave him a big boy surprise. This seemed to work for him, Hope this helps.

Maybe he's just not ready... I let my oldest use his pacifier until he was 3... but not out in public. I did just what you did. I let him use it only in his room and then only when he was hurt or something and he really needed the comfort. A few months before his 3rd b-day we started telling him that he was going to say "bye bye to the pacifier when he turns 3 because he will be a big boy." We told him this every so often. On this 3rd birthday we gathered up all of the pacifiers in the house and he willingly threw them in the garbage himself. No tears. And he never asked for them again.

My first daughter weaned herself from hers before she turned 1, so when my second came along, I felt clueless on what to do! But she eventually just had it to use only at bedtimes, and that was it. And if she was messing around in bed and not sleeping, I would take it from her...making clear it is only for her to use while she sleeps. First thing in the morning, I took it. She, however, completely surprised me and at some point right before she turned 3, I would offer the pacifier at bedtime, and she would say no. WOW! So, with her own instigation, she weaned herself as well. Maybe your son is just not ready, and you could limit its uses, and possibly he would do the same? But if you are determined to stop him using the pacifier, maybe if you can get him to understand throwing it out, that he is a big boy...and take just him to the store to get a "big boy" toy, let him pick it out. And everytime he slips up and steals the baby's, take his new big boy toy away from him. Maybe that will be inspiration for him?
Good luck!
K.

V., don't feel bad. I have a 3 1/2 year old little girl that is still very attached to her "binky", expecially at nap time and bed time. I have family members that think it's a disgrace that she still puts a binky in her mouth for comfort, but as with you, we also have a baby and he loves his binky. We have tried to tell her that she is a big girl and big girls don't need binkys, but just like in your case, she just sneaks/takes her brothers. So, here is the conclusion that we have come to and it has made our lives much less stressful: let him have his pacifier if it makes him happy. I know of children that started kindergarden with their binky in their lunchbox for comfort. We live in a very unstable world and if the binky makes him feel safe, I don't see the big deal...and if anyone tries to make you or your son feel bad about it, just do what I do and tell that it's not an issue with you, he likes it, it is comfort for him and remember: he is YOUR son. You have to do what works best for you. My little girls teeth are straighter than mine. You have to pick your battles. I don't think that a big deal should be made (and society will try to make us think differently) over taking something away from a child that makes them feel comfort, and is not hurting them one bit. Good luck!

My son loved his pacifiers too. He used to sleep with one in his mouth and one in each hand so if he couldn't find one he always had a back up. Unfortunately, around 18 months he got a really bad ear infection that wouldn't clear up so we had to wean him cold turkey. The 1st night was horrible. He went to bed OK because I cuddled him and told him he couldn't have his pacifier any more and held him to sleep. But around 2 in the morning he woke up wanting it and crawled into the kitchen and curled up on the rug in the fetal position and cried for 20 minutes and wouldn't let us touch him. Finally he fell asleep. I offered him a sippy cup which helped but next night he was fine. He asked for it but we told him he was a big boy and didn't need it and his ears needed to get better and if he had the pacifier they wouldn't. I did have to cuddle him to sleep for about a week but he never woke up wanting it in the middle of the night as badly as the 1st night. If he asked I told him no. Good luck.

Hi V.,

Thrown both baby's pacifiers away.

Good luck. D.

Hi V.! I just went through this with my two year old. I was determined to have him off of the binky by the time he was two. We slowly started weaning him off of it, so that he was only using it during nap and nighttime. He would not give it up completely though. I asked his dr. She said that he needed something else to find comfort in. So, we took him to the store and let him pick out a new toy car (he loves them!). Then, we got him to play with the new toy and distract him away from the binky. Last night, he threw away all of his binkies because we told him they were for babies and he was a big boy, and he has his new car. He started taking the little car to bed with him, just holding it in his hand. I'm ok with that, though! Your son may just need a new thing to take to bed for comfort. Maybe a toy, stuffed animal, etc. We always thought he would give it up when he was ready, and he did! Hope this helps, and good luck!!

Hi V.,

Sadly the only way to get rid of it is to just get rid of it. My oldest was 3 1/2 years old by the time he finally stopped using his and that's only because his last "buddy" fell in the potty. My youngest was still using one at the time and I think the only thing keeping him from taking his was that they each used a different kind so it didn't feel the same. Knowing the trouble I had with my oldest I have no idea why I even started my youngest on one. Fortunately with him it was much easier to break. He got a cold around 17 months and couldn't breathe out of his nose so he would spit his "buddy" out to fall asleep. I took complete advantage of that and we have been "buddy-free" ever since!

So.... you may just want to take a deep breath and take them both away at the same time. It will be difficult, more so for your older daughter, but you really don't want to go through it when she's 3 1/2.

Good luck whatever you do! I wish you easy, peaceful nights!!

K. - sahm of 2 boys, 5 and 2

Hi V.,

I can understand your dilemma, but in my opinion you should wean both of them from it now. They are both on solid foods (baby food). Don't perpetuate the behavior by continuing it with the other as long as you did with the almost 2 year old. It is not pretty when a kid is WALKING around with a pacifier.

Just my two cents,
tpnap

My youngest had a LOT of trouble giving up the bottle. We started talking to him about baby squirels. Then after a couple of weeks, we told him the poor baby squirels didn't have any bottles. So we got a basket and let him "donate" his bottles to the baby squirels. He put the basket of bottles on the front porch for the mommies to get for their babies. Then, when we put him to bed that night, we took the bottles and got rid of them. It worked great for him.
Hope this helps.

To be honest... I was stressed out after my daughter's 2 year well baby visit and the doctor told me I needed to work on getting rid of the binky. I asked him how he thought I should go about doing it and he said COLD TURKEY. I was like..."Are you kidding? Do you know what will happen if she doesn't have her binky?" (though I knew it needed to be done soon).I had it in my head of sleepless nights because she needed it when she slept. Well, a week or so later...we just took it away and when she asked for it or cried for it we told her "tweet tweet" took it away (cause at the time that was her new animal sound she recently learned and liked it). She did just fine and hasn't had one since (2 months now). Just take it away and make it known that something came and took it away and they will be fine without it. If they cry...divert their attention. Hope this helps. Like I said...I was worried but then I was amazed how easy it was. Good Luck!

I had to take away pacifiers (binkies) from a 3 and 5 year old. For years I have been telling my kids that the binky fairy (me) was going to come in their rooms while they were sleeping one night and take their binkies for babies that needed them. One of my friends suggested asking them what type of toy did they want in exchange for their binkies. So I did this. However, I almost didn't make it out of my 3 year old daughters room before she woke up and relized her binky was gone. She was very excited about her new Barbie until she became tired and couldn't fall asleep without it. Luckily we did this on a Friday night. By Monday morning they were off to school without even missing their binkies. You have to stay strong. My three year old daughter insisted that I call the "Binky Fairy" immediately and tell her that she no longer wanted her stupid doll but needed her binky. So I placed a call to our house phone pretending to talk to the "Binky Fairy", who had just finished giving her binkies to another baby. Since the "Binky Fairy" is fictional they have no-one to mad at or resent. Just stick to your guns and don't cave. It should only take a few days.

Hope this helps.

L. S.

I had the same issue with my 2 children, though my kids were even a little bit older than yours. We ended up taking the pacifier away one night when they were both sleeping, it usually fell out while they slept. We threw all the pacifiers away and told them the easter bunny took them for the baby easter bunnies. We had a rough couple of days but after that they stopped asking for them. I found it better to just get them out of the house and stop cold turkey! Good luck

YOu can take it from them both. Cold turkey. It might take a few days of screaming and adjustment though. If you arent ready (notice I said "you", sometimes the parent is more attached than the baby) for the baby to part w/ it then ONLY give to her at naptime or bedtime or JUST when she needs it and then when she is "pacified" take it away.

I have a similar situation. We are trying to ween our 21 month old and we have a 1 month old who now uses a pacifier. We also let our older girl use her 'tookie' only at nap and bedtime, which sadly has led her to ask for it before she goes to her room. Funnily enough she doesn't need it at all at daycare so I think we'll ween naptime soon. She does try to grab her sisters but since it is a smaller nipple and still the 'soothie' kind it's not as appealing. You are in a hard place since your younger child is 'older' than ours and probably using the same kind of pacifier as your 21 month old. We mostly try to explain that 'tookies' are for babies and she is a big girl.

The only thing I can think of is let your older child cry a bit and hide all pacifiers except the one your 8 month old is using at that moment. We have found that our older daughter's tantrums are pretty shortlived when she realizes we won't bend.

Good luck!!

Hi V.. Well, you can start by not letting him sleep with it. That should be a start. I took my daughter's away hard core. I decided one day that I wasnt going to let my daughter use hers. And after she got used to it, she doesnt even know how to suck on one. She used to take other baby's pacifier at day care but she then stopped. You should encourage him that he is a big boy and big boys dont have pacifiers. Tell him that his sister is a baby and she needs one but he is a big boy and he can teach when she becomes a big girl. Good Luck

Hi V.!

As a mother of 2 - a 7 year and almost 5 year old. I have been there. WE got rid of the pacifier for both children by having the "Binky Fairy" come visit. We would tell the child that if they left their binky (that is what we called it) under their pillow at night, the Binky Fairy would come take to another baby that really need it. Then the Binky Fairy would leave them a special gift for being such a "big kid." For my son, the binky fairy was taking it for his new little cousin that was just born. For my daughter, I actually "forgot" it on a weekend trip we were taking (I really had it but told her we left it at home). When we got back from our trip, she had slept 4 days without and left it under her pillow for her special gift.

Hope this helps! :o)

V., pacifiers actually serve a useful purpose by encouraging sucking while a child is sleeping, which reduces the risk of SIDS (still a risk of SIDS under age 2, but I think I read somewhere it could be a later age, too).

What really is the harm in him having a paci at this age? While he may seem to be a "big boy" because you also have a baby, he really is still a little guy and that paci is giving him comfort. I, personally, would wait until he's several months older and then casually mention it's time for the "Binky Fairy" to give them to a baby who needs them and see what his reaction is.

Until then, they're an inexpensive source of comfort so I recommend just buying a couple more so you have plenty on hand, then relax in the knowledge that you're giving your child harmless pleasure and making him a happier boy. : )

D.

Have you moved him to a big-boy bed yet? I took my son's away when we moved him to a bed and decorated his room really cool. He wasn't sure about it at first but I told him that he's a big boy now and doesn't need the pacifier like a baby. I also make a big deal out of what big boys can do and what babies can't do. If he wants the pacifier back, I'd tell him he's still a baby and I'd try putting him down for a couple of naps and putting him in the high chair and put his milk in a bottle. That usually makes them pretty mad and then he will choose to be the big boy. :) Good luck with the reverse psychology! My kids (all 3) have to choose to do something. I can talk until I'm blue in the face and it won't matter.

First, try to chill out. Your child will not leave for Harvard with a pacifier in his mouth. Nor will pacifier use doom you to years of orthodontic bills.

My daughter used hers until she was nearly four. We finally persuaded her to give them up by telling her that we needed to save all her boppies for when SHE was a mommy, so that HER babies could use them. This logic seemed to make sense to her and she readily agreed. I still have them in a box in a closet.

As for pacifiers inhibiting speech development...well, maybe. This is one of those things "everybody" knows, but I've never seen any real research that shows this. I'll admit that my daughter was a little slow in talking--but now she's seven and nobody else around here can get a word in edgewise!

I would get rid of both kids pacifiers too. Pacifiers are really designed for newborns who have a really strong suck reflex. they aren't good for teeth or speech development. the longer you keep it the harder it is to get rid of it!

J., mom to 2 boys (5 and 2). I got rid of pacifiers at 6 months with both boys per a friends advice......and was happy i did!

This may seem harsh, I'll admit I cried while we did it but it worked. First we only let him have his pacifier when he was in bed, except for one major incident where he fell and tore his face up and I needed him to stop crying so I could stop the bleeding. We did that for a couple of weeks. Then for a week we told him he was a big boy and he needed to give his pacifiers to a baby, every night, but only right before he would get it in his bed. Then one night we said alright big boy, no paci. He screamed, A LOT!! I cried and it took a few hours, but eventually he went to sleep (we left him in his room crying and went and checked on him every 5-10' to hug him, but not give the paci back. The next night he cried for maybe 5-10' and then that was it. The KEY is if you do the cold turkey, you can't give in, because you'll teach them to just cry longer. Also, if he shares a room with his sister, you may need to move her out for the night, or he'll take hers. Also, after this, a few months later, we had a traveling nightmare where our plan was delayed hours and we were stuck waiting in line for hours and he couldn't fall asleep in the nightmare that was that airport, he got so overtired he couldn't fall asleep. Finally when we could, we got a taxi to drive us around (while we waited hours more for the flight). I have him is paci to stop the crying, he went to sleep almost immediately and then never asked for it after that, so you can use it in emergency situations afterwards, but I would wait a few weeks at least. Good Luck!!