How to Further Challenge My Gifted 3 Year Old

Hi Jenny,

e-mail me...I'm a professor of Early Childhood Ed and I have a gifted 3 year old...I can give you some advice!

T.

Hi Jenny,

At this point, I would say to just spend time encouraging your daughter to do things that she enjoys. Our son is 22 months old and he knows all his colors, shapes, animals and the sounds they make. He can say his entire alphabet and count to 13. He knows all the letters and numbers by sight and points them out everywhere we go. He's been doing this for a couple of months now (we have it on video, so I'm not exaggerating...I swear!) Is it early for this? Yes, it is BUT it just happens to be something that he really really enjoys so he chose to learn it. (I think). He crawled and walked later than "average" (11 months and 16 months, respectively) and is afraid of stairs/heights at this point (we live in a ranch and don't have stairs to practice on). I'm only saying this because I believe that things just all even out with kids. They excel at what they enjoy and what is interesting to them at the time.

Jacob (our son) loves to sit on our laps and have us read books to him. He loves to grab his Aquadoodle and bring it to us while saying "letters, letters" so that we write letters for him and he tells us what they are. If your daughter enjoys letters and reading, I'd just keep doing it and encouraging it if that's what she wants. The natural progression will lead to more advanced activities...in my opinion.

Enjoy.

T.

Jenny,

I wouldn't be too worried about kindergarten at this point. Your three year old sounds a lot like mine, and many others I know. Not to dismiss her abilities, but to be honest, they sound pretty typical of most kids at age three. I think it's wonderful to be concerned and want to provide continued academic support, but unless your child is composing music and reading from the newspaper, I wouldn't be too concerned about the "gifted" label. I wouldn't suggest "teaching" her to read right now, she will pick it up with more maturity--and it sounds like she'll pick it up pretty easily too.

Just continue what you're doing--it's making an impact on her!

Good luck!

Your dd sounds a lot like my dd who is 11 now. The only advice that I can give you is to let her lead the way. If she'd like to learn to read, teach her. Starfall.com is a great website for kids learning to read. I would not try to hold her back even if you fear that she may be bored in school. I taught my dd with lots of games. We'd count steps in a building. I'd ask her stuff like "If I have 2 cookies and I give you 1 how many would I have for myself". She learned addition and subtraction that way. She is in 6th grade now after a grade skip and is still way ahead of her classmates. She's retained her love of learning and I call her my "information sponge"

hi
i have the same problem with my daughter. she knew all her letters, numbers, colors, shapes by 18months. at age 2 she could only say 5 words, but her understanding/receptive language was way beyond her age. she started reading at about 3 years, 2 months-real reading. she now reads US a bedtime story at night. she is also able to add, subtract, and count to 100 by 1's, 2's, 5's, and 10's. all my husband and i do is just keep enriching her. we do lots of puzzles, read a lot, and incorporate learning into fun activities (ie counting money, telling time, etc.). she's not bored at preschool (which is more or less for her to have social time and to work on her motor skille)but she learns more by helping the other kids in her class. it just reinforces what she already knows. so just keep on reinforcing things to her and don't be afraid to be repetetive. start to incorporate more educational concepts to her and i'm sure that she'll just absorb it all. we're worried about kindergarten too...but the teachers say that even though she already knows HOW to do it...continually doing it or helping others to learn it is still a great learning tool. hope some of this helps

I would just continue what you are doing. Our three year olds can count to 20, recognize and say the alphabet, sing about 10 songs, know all the colors, and can read. So, I would just encourage those areas they enjoy - challenge them with reading and colors, shapes, and concepts. There are SO many great books out there. Also, I'd look at areas that maybe your daughter ISN'T embracing, such as athletics. Since we have twins, boy and girl, they really help each other to embrace all activities. For example, my son is VERY athletic, big, strong and loves to play. That has helped my daughter to try and stay at his level for running, throwing, kicking balls, etc. And I think she has helped my son to work on his reading, and other mental abilities.

Also, I'd start working on writing. My kids can both write their names, so work on that, either with books that help them to trace the letters, or by focusing on some of the easier letters and going from there ( C, E, F, H, I, L, M, O, T, V, W, X, Y).

Best of luck, and don't worry about them being bored in kindergarten, just support their interests now. If you need private or home schooling later, you can deal with that. Stuff like computers are now being introduced in pre-school, and kindergarten, so I'm sure there will always be things for your kids to learn. And you can always do extra stuff at home to help them grow.

Peace,
Richard

Whatever you choose to do, continue to make it fun and games while learning. Many children learn more by playing and having fun while participating in non-traditional educational activities. It is fine to begin teaching her to read at her age, but don't make it 'clinical'. You should also remember that 'school' isn't always just about the ABCs; children also learn about socializing, sharing, resiliency, coping, conflict management, assertion, and other skills that cannot be learned from a textbook...and valuable lessons to be learned as well.

By the way, many public schools do identify so-called 'gifted' children at even the kindergarten level and do offer 'enrichment' programs.

Keep doing what you are already doing. Kids under the age of 5 are little sponges. That is one reason they recommend teaching foreign language to young children. They retain things very well at this age. Studies show that most children who are early readers level out with children their age by 3rd grade. They also find that most children who are behind catch up by 3rd grade as well. Don't put a lot of pressure on her. Have fun. Read to her everyday.

My son is also 3 and can do the same things, mostly because of the wonderful daycare he is in. They pick up on things very well at this age.

They are starting to work with him on advanced numbers 20-40 as well as 3 letter words like cat, dog, etc. Put them on a flash card and encourage her to tell you the sounds each letter makes and then help her sound out the word. Also, don't abandon the old stuff. In order for them to really and truly commit all this to memory they really had to have it repeated or they will lose alot of it.

I don't think really that she (or my son) is THAT far ahead of the other kids. Plus, preschool and kindergarten teach not only acacemic skills but also social ones and teach them how to behave out in public and relate to other people. I think alot of kids have this potential they just aren't challenged with this kind or learning at this early age because everyone assumes they are too young.

My son is advanced beyond his peers as well. You should start with small words and start with writing as well. Call the school district in your area and arrange for a screening. That way she can be placed immediately into a class that is challenging and won't end up getting in trouble as some gifted children do.

I from personal experience to recommend keeping her in school mainly for the social skills she will need. You need to push the school district. You might qualify for getting her scholarships to Montessori or private school.

You might try introducing some simple math problems also. I do know that if she isn't advanced in the other areas of development the schools will not place her in the more challenging class she will crave academically.

Great responses so far.
Don't try to hold her back by any means, but don't pressure her either. You might want to google the concept of "un-schooling" if you aren't familiar with it. It's basically a homeschooling practice that says children learn when you follow up on their curiousity!
I agree with teaching her to write. You might want to find some good sites or talk with a teacher you might know about how to correctly grip a pencil. This sounds trivial, but although my daughter's handwriting is neat and practiced, she still gets a bad mark on her report card for pencil grip! UGH! I wish I had known!
Also, take her to the library! There are great resources there. You can check out preschool and kindergarten teaching ideas books to help you, play with puppets and toys and other children, hear stories told/read, and find neat books for her to explore as well. You might check if they have a bulletin board for other groups that might interest her.
My daugter was very much interested in sign-language at this age. There is a great series of videos called "Signing Time." It is not baby-sign, but actual ASL which can be helpful later in life as a communication tool with hard-of-hearing and deaf. There were some broadcasts of Signing Time as a television show as well. You might want to scan your PBS stations for them. They have great music (The M. who started it was a folk singer who had a deaf daughter and hoped more children could communicate with her) and are bright, colorful, and easy to learn.
There's another series called "Preschool Power" that my daughter loved- it teaches things like how to make clay, how to arrange flowers, pour her own milk, make a peanut butter sandwich, how to put on your own jacket easily, etc. More of a Montessori approach but by watching other children. It really helped her feel more "grown up" to be able to learn skills I had no idea she was ready for!
Also, I agree with putting her in a language class- I bet she would love it. There are loads of things out there if you can spare the money, which sometimes aren't too expensive: Park district classes(from swimming to gymnastics to pottery to languages), music and movement classes (try KinderDance or KinderMusik), etc!

Some fun things she might enjoy:

Give her things to sort and ask her why. (My daughter often came up with creative sorting- not typically "they are all Daddy's socks or they are all red" but things like "They are all long or these all feel soft.") Have her help sort socks, pencils and pens, buttons, etc. and involve her in this part of cleaning tasks- like cleaning out drawers, etc.

Give her things to work her manipulation skills in her hands:
like kitchen tongs to pick up ice cubes or small toys, clothespins to pick up flashcards and drop them in a box, etc.
Rice is fun to play in instead of sand. Buy it cheap in a big bulk bag and pour into a rubbermaid container and add sandtoys or measuring cups and spoons. It sweeps up really easily too. You can add dried pasta or dried beans, a strainer, etc. for variety.
Let her help "cook" by pouring in the ingredients in recipes or chopping things like mushrooms with a dull butterknife.

You probably do a lot of these things already, but I know from experience the more they can stay "involved" and feel grown up, the less they act out- especially if she's craving learning and is easily bored!
I ended up homeschooling my daughter through Kindergarten because she is gifted and was 2 days too young to go to public school according to the cut-off. I know how frustrating dealing with the school system can be! They DO have gifted programs though, but be aware that you might have to pay for testing yourself or advocate for her for these programs!
Good Luck and Congrats on having a little "smartie" !
-Amanda R

Honestly, I think you are thinking way too much about it. Of course it is wise to start teaching her to read if she is ready. "Gifted" may be pushing it a little, and setting her up for high expectations, and she's three. She sounds right on course of most three year olds I know, and like previous responses, kindergarden involves more than the basic foundations of learning like she has. It's not just about letters, numbers, reading and shapes. If she's not already, put her in a 3 year old preschool. My kids started with a 2 year old program-which teaches all the essentials like you listed, plus much more, like different countries, different languages, maps, writing etc. It challenges them to their potential, and teachers at that age are experienced in how to pin-point each student to their learning abilities so they don't get bored or discouraged. Go with the flow-if she's ready for something, teach it to her while she has the interest. Take advantage of her age, she's a sponge like most 3 year olds.

Hi!
I really agree with MR..completely!

as a preschool teacher for 13 years, and a parent of 3 older children who have been successful academically in high school and college, she is right on with her ideas that you want to help nurture the whole child- physically, emotionally and socially.

I have seen young children in my class who could recognize shapes and letters and numbers but sometimes were emotionally immature and needed help with their social skills. Someone posted something about the idea of an accelerated child skipping a grade. I would discourage that decision and keep the child with peers his/her own age, especially girls with their physical development.

My daughter is a 2nd grade teacher and her more advanced students go up a grade for math and reading but then remain with their peers the rest of the day. But I have to say, one of those students, while a bit advanced in math and reading is currently in anger management therapy and has trouble relating to other students.

Again, nurturing the whole child is so very important. Children that are accelerated in academics still need to learn self-discipline and responsibility to develop leadership and communication skills. They can be challenged in a number of ways by getting involved in hobbies and sports and so forth. My children never died from boredom and a little down time spent in quiet reading and reflection with all of the activities kids have these days is a good thing!

My son is currently ranked 5th in his high school class and was placed in a separate accelerated math and reading group from 1st grade on but again remained in his regular grade for other subjects. He didn't know how to write words and read very well until kindergarten.

I ALWAYS read to him and took him to the library and as a 4/5 year old, he started sounding out words so those parents out there that are freaking out that their preschooler isn't doing math and reading as a 3 year old.. take heart, it certainly is not the norm. Reading to your child is the VERY best thing you can do to help nurture school success. Help nurture a joy in learning and discovering new things! Help build your child's self-confidence by giving them chores and responsibilities. I tell my parents this all the time!

Sometimes my son would finish his work faster in class but he didn't become a behavior problem and didn't die of boredom! His teachers would let him just pull out a book to read or the teacher would give him other enrichment activities to do. Find out what your school district may offer accelerated students.

Its important to have your child develop a wide variety of interests other than just academic pursuits so he/she can relate to other students. Perhaps if the young man who just committed these shootings in Virgina had someone nurture him socially and emotionally as a child, we would still have those young lives that he took away. Parents, focus on raising bright AND decent, moral children.

I agree with the previous responses to further support your daughter’s interests and expose her to new things. Many children will attend kindergarten already knowing how to read, know all their letters and do math. It's amazing how much children learn if parents take the time to teach them and expose them to many things.

My son, who just turned (4) this week, knew all his letters, shapes, colors and numbers before he was TWO. By age three he was already writing his name, letters (upper and lower case), numbers, and simple words as well as reading. At 3 1/2 he was counting to 100 and writing his own (simple) sentences. He doesn't like sports that much, so we are trying to encourage him in that area. He'd rather stay home and read a book (his favorite is a dinosaur encyclopedia), sit at the computer or do science experiments. Now, my son is doing great at addition and knows how to tell time (memorizing his multiplications by 5) and is great at games like Blokus and other strategy games. My daughter, now 2, is also learning at a fast pace, but is interested in different things than my son. Both love the computer.

Keep up the great work! I don't think she would be bored at kindergarten, especially if she is involved in other activities after school. She'll have a great start at school for sure!