First, to answer your direct question, you want to drink parsley or sage tea. You can just buy the parsley or sage, chop it up, and put it in hot water. I found out the hard way that parsley dries up milk supply when my in-laws were visiting from Europe and made their famous big pot of vegetable soup which we ate all week. When I stopped eating their soup, my milk came back. So when I quit breast feeding several months later, I drank parsley to dry up the supply, plus sage for diversity.
Second, I'm a little concerned because I've heard soy can be bad for babies. If they have soy-formula, I suppose it's okay, but you might want to check with your pediatrician (perhaps you already have) to double check that this is okay in light of the concerns re infants and soy.
I agree that it sounds a little weird that your daughter won't drink breast milk. I don't judge anyone by their decision to breast feed or not breastfeed, and while I had a great lactation consultant, I know that some can place unrealistic expectations on new parents.
Breast milk is different than cows milk in terms of babies' ability to digest it, something to do with an enzyme in breast milk. Have you tried pumping and giving it to her in bottles?