How to Deal with "Potty Talk"

She does it to get a reaction, so don't give her one. I have never been one to overly censor my kids language, I just teach them that there is a time and a place.

Most kids go through this phase. It's funny, to them, to see the reactions.

When my son began doing this, fortunately I had been given some good advice from a neighbor who already had several children. So I followed her advice exactly. This is it:

When my son started with the "potty talk", I would not wince, blink, cringe, laugh, or react. Very very calmly (not showing any anger), I'd take him by the hand, and lead him into the bathroom.

(Prior to trying this, I made sure that the bathroom I took him to was childproofed; no meds, hairdryers, etc. Fortunately we had a guest bathroom that was pretty much a toilet and sink so I used that one. If you don't have a guest powder room, just make sure the bathroom of choice is child proof).

I'd exit the bathroom, close the door, remain nearby, and tell my son to yell all the potty words he wanted. He had a blast for the first couple of times. I could hear him giggling and laughing while he yelled POOPOO HEAD at the top of his lungs. Then when he got quiet, I opened the door and asked "are you ready to come out and [I'd suggest some fun activity here like playing with his wooden train set]? I was careful not to act like he was in trouble, but to simply stay very calm and not mention the words he had said in the bathroom.

Every time the potty talk started, we would go through the same thing. It took just about 3 days for the fun to wear off and he figured out that potty talk is for the potty, and not for the kitchen, the play room, the car, etc. I thought my neighbor was pretty smart.

The second child is usually exposed to 'negative' things much earlier than the first born.

You set good limits (not during meal time or in public). I recall a preschool allowing potty talk while inline for the bathroom. They said it allowed the kids a place to get their sillies out and be funny. They were saying similar words to your examples.

It is definitely a stage. My boys got really bad when they started kindergarten - it was all the rage it seemed.

I get that it's silly - and eventually what happened with my kids is they moved on to kind of inappropriate jokes as they got older (again, all the rage at school) - but it can cross the line.

When my patience is tested - when I feel 'ok, enough of that' or it becomes too much - I always say (and still do) "Enough, too far".

That's my code word around here for - ZIP it.

The other thing I do if they get too silly (because honestly, it is all in fun and they are just trying to out-do each other in the silliness) - I send them outside.

That way I don't have to deal with it - they get it out of their system, usually get distracted and go play something, and then come back in when they are back into 'normal' talk.

My mom said that when we were little, we went through a phase where we tried out bad words/language (started silly but went on to worse words we picked up). She said "You can say those, but you have to go down to the end of the yard if you want to say them - they are not to be said around anyone or in our home". We lost interest pretty quick.

I guess what I do is some kind of rendition of that. It works - at least I don't have to listen. I also explain that it's offensive to some and isn't a 'nice' topic for general conversation.

Ignore her. If she doesn't get a reaction from you, maybe she will stop.

Limit the talking you do about it - in the sense of telling her to stop.

If she does it at the table, she's done eating. Remember that a 5 year old (or a 2.5 year old, for that matter) does not need to eat an entire meal once in a while. I'm not saying to take the dinner away, but I'm saying not to obsess about getting her to stop talking just so she will eat. So, if she engages in it, you say, "That's not dinner talk. That's private talk." And take her to her room, shut the door, and go back to the dinner table. As little talk as possible - just up and "you're excused from the table" and that's it. If she wants to come right back, tell her to sit in her room until she's done with potty talk for the night. Give her one more chance if she wants to come back, but if she does it again, she's done eating for the night. Deprive her of your company until she stops talking like this.

And a child who has to go to the bathroom during dinner should be taught to say, "May I be excused for a moment?" That's "polite talk" for "I have to go to the bathroom" and it therefore prevents anyone from discussing bodily functions during a meal.

In public or at someone's house, she gets one warning. If she does it again, you pick her up and leave. Yes, it will be incredibly inconvenient if you're in the middle of a fun day or a grocery shopping trip, but it will truly make her miserable. Make it clear that it is HER CHOICE to leave because she engaged in inappropriate talk. That's important - it's not "mean Mommy's decision" - it's her decision to disobey the rules and make other people uncomfortable. You can add that doing X (playing in the park, "helping" with grocery shopping, etc.) is a big-kid activity, and since she's too young to act right, the activity is ended.

In the car? Easy. Pull over, park the car, and turn off the engine (if it's super hot, you can leave it on). If they have any videos or electronics in the car, turn them off and take them away - no music, videos, iPads, snacks, nothing. Get out of the car, and stand where they can see you but far enough away that you cannot hear the wailing or complaining! Do something, anything - I always had a crossword puzzle book on hand or a magazine for waiting periods anyway. I don't love the idea of using a phone because I think it gets kids too worked up about the fun of a cell phone. But the point is, you should be doing something that's enjoyable to you. What you say is, "I can't stop you from talking like that, but I don't have to listen to it. I'm going to do something fun. We'll continue our drive when you want to talk nicely." Don't keep talking about it - just get away from it. Being deprived of your company and sitting totally bored in a car should last about 5 minutes before she's had it. Again, it was HER CHOICE to be bored while you were elsewhere being entertained. She should be able to see you so she doesn't feel abandoned or unsafe, but she should be confined in a car seat and miserable as hell. Does this make it more inconvenient for you? Yes. But you have to be willing to totally disrupt your plan so she sees there is no payoff for behaving this way.

It's a phase and I would "estimate" that it will basically end by First Grade, the chatter about "peepee" and similar. Although passing gas and visible/smelly poop (from dogs etc) may continue to bring hilarity for years to come.

I would say a combination of both. I would try to ignore as much as possible but I might be tempted to also say, sweetheart I've asked you not to speak like that. You'll need to go to your room until you're ready to obey me.

In my opinion removing HER from whatever activity is going on will send the message you mean what you're saying. Another statement I used was "I'm sorry, when you're whining/being ugly/whatever the infraction, I can't listen to you. Come find me when you're ready to be a big girl/boy.

It is a phase and you will get through it. The more critical issue to me is not the words she's using, but the disobedience when you've asked her to stop. I wanted my kids to know at a young age I meant what I said so when bigger challenges down the line happened (driving, dating, etc.) they wouldn't doubt whether I would follow through.

Hang in there!! It will pass soon! 😊

My son came a little late to that game (likely first or second grade), and his friends at school were introducing him to some exciting new words. The rule in our house is that he can say whatever he wants in his room. (this helped when he had friends over: "Keep the potty talk in your room") I also made him a 'book' of blank pages and the cover, which I'd made nicely, said "J's Potty Talk Book (all the words and picture go here!)" and gave that to him as well. I have to be honest, it was a hoot to look through. He doesn't use it any more (we actually recycled it last week) but it gave him an appropriate place to be inappropriate. :)