We live in a wide ranch with a big background in Bergen County. We recently put in a large swingset for our son as a birthday gift. We placed it towards one end of the backyard so our kid and his friends have room to run around. There is 4 feet of space between the swingset and our neighbor's fence as required by law.
My neighbor came over yesterday and asked me to move the swing set (it is very heavy and already installed) to the center of my backyard because she says that when the kids are in the swingset clubhouse they can see into her backyard.
As a joke I said "what? do you bathe in the nude?' and she said "yes, I do." I am not sure whether or not she was joking but she clearly wants it moved. I should mention that we have a 6 ft. solid white fence between us.
The swingset is only used on the weekend for an hour or two at a time. No adult climbs on it and no-one is interested in her backyard. As an aside, we are very likely to add another floor in the next few years (as have the neighbors behind us who can now see into our backyard as well)and when that happens I'll have a perfect view of my neighbor's entire backyard and her house unless she keeps her blinds down.
I feel strongly about leaving the swingset in place because it is in a shaded area and my son is very light skinned and sensitive to the sun.
How do I deal with this issue? My neighbor is Russian (but has been in the States for over 10 years) and I am wondering if there are any cultural issues that could be at play here.
I have always been on good terms with this neighbor and I don't want to shake things up.
I agree with the others, don't move it for all the reasons you have stated which are all reasonable. It didn't sound like she gave you any legitimate reasons to move it. If she wants more privacy, she can plant some trees or shrubs!
R.,
Know that you relationship with your neighbor has changed forever.
Don't move the swing, but be extremly polite with her.
Let her bring it up to you and when she does let her know that you'd done everything legally, about your son's senative skin etc.
And if she has kids make an effort to invite them over to play.
It is hard stay mad at someone who is nice to your kids.
Good Luck.
Hey R.,
I say as long as you are within the legal regulations on the installation of the swing set then I say leave it be. If people are walking by her house and they can see in is her living room window is she going to ask them to walk on the other side of the street. It is her business if she wants to bathe nude (if she does) tell her to close her blinds. She sounds like she is just being a pain in the neck. If the kids were making excessive noise at six o'clock in the morning or 11 o'clock at night then I would say she has a legitimate complaint. But in this case I would just say sorry it would be very costly for me to move it and I may also risk damaging the set moving it. I wouldn't limit my kids use of it either as long as they are not excessively loud and disruptive then I would just ignore her. There are no regulations that I know of for people being able to see into your yard. Fence height is usually determined by safety factors (pools, etc) not sight lol!!!! I wouldn't give it a second thought she is just going to have to suck it up. They are kids anyway there probably isn't much she has they want to see!! Have a nice summer.
that is absurd - leave it where it is!
Hi R.,
I say your neighbor is totally out of line in making this request. Don't move your swings and don't feel you need to give her any excuse whatsoever! As long as you haven't broken any laws, you shouldn't have to answer to her. I don't think you'll be on bad terms if you stand firm with her, either. On the contrary, she'll probably respect you more when she realizes she can't push you around.
Good luck!
M. G
Hi R.,
I would leave it right where you have it. I love to have to relationships with my nieghbors as well. But, this is just a stars. Once you give in I could see her asking others things. Like letting you when its the best time for her for your children to go out and play and so forth. I would say unfortunally you can not because that is whats best for your childrens. She does not like all well. Good Luck! :)
It sounds to me like you did everything you were legally supposed to do. Your neighbor is probably feeling she is slowly losing her privacy, especially since you mentioned that your other neighbor built a second floor. I don't think you should move it and if she persists with the complaints, you might need to tell her to look up any law that says you cannot have this swingset where you installed it. This approach now might help you later when you do build the second floor to your house. Sorry you are having such a hard time with your neighbor. Once she sees that you are not backing down I am sure she will give up.
Your neighbor sounds like a very controlling person. You were not obligated to ask your neighbors if they approve of the placement of your swingset prior to its installation. You placed it in the best location for your family, on your property. Most families place swing sets near the back of the yard in order to allow space to run around and still maintain open yards. Leave it where it is. If you feel obligated to , you can explain that the location best suits the layout of your yard and your families needs. For the short time perids that your child is on the playset, if they feel "exposed", they can cover up or go inside. Imagine if the situation was reversed and you asked them to cover up becasue they were exposing your child to nudity, they would tell you that they have the right to do as they wish in their property & to stop looking.
Good luck,
B.
working mom of a great 4 y/o
Hi R.,
I have to also agree with the other ladies..... I do feel for you as I'm going through stuff with my neighbor. However I'm the type that I have to get along with everyone especially if I'm going to have to see you and deal with you (because we rent a two family home and they live downstairs from us). So yes you have everyright to leave your swingset there, especially the reason of your son being light and you don't want him to burn, I totally understand that. I think you should ignore the situation right now and if she comes again to speak to you, very politely tell her your situation. Now if she doesn't care about what you tell her, then this is where you just going to have to ignore her. This is your property and you have done everything to respect not going over her line. If she is not comfortable with her living situation, she must change her way of living. So please try to enjoy your summer and remember that you did nothing wrong. This is your family and let no one try to tell you how to run it!
