How to Deal with Aging Inlaws

If your husband is the only sibling, then the burden is harder. If he has siblings.... they should all agree on an option to present to the parents. You can't "make" them do anything.

However, you can tell your husband "No" to moving into your home. If he's so gung ho about having them close, let him find a single story or apartment nearby that he can drive to in a few minutes.

I have in-laws just like yours, but fortunately, they live in California and my brother-in-law has taken up their care. We send money when needed and visit.

Please, hon, don't do this until it's the LAST AVAILABLE OPTION. My mom moved to be closer to me (only child) almost 5 years ago and then moved in with me (actually, she wouldn't go back to her own home) 2 years ago. At the time, all 3 of my kids were with me: 2 grown ones and a 9-yr-old. I loved having all my kids with me (older ones helped with their expenses) but having Mom there cut the privacy down to minimal levels. They adored her but moved out quickly. My youngest has had problems coping with the situation. You lose pretty much ALL of your privacy.

I agree with if they aren't close, moving them to an apartment or a home closer to you.

There are also care services that come daily to check on the parents and do routine checks such as some medical help, meal preparation, bathing, errands, laundary...

Here are some sites I found, but I'm sure with a little bit of research, maybe even calling local nursing homes, you can get more info on other places that offer this service.

http://www.comfortkeepers.com/external/In-Home-Services.html

http://www.visitingangels.com/

http://www.assistedlivinginfo.com/

Some assisted living places are really nice, of course, they are probably pricey too. I suppose you could at least get them to compromise checking one out at least. It must be very hard to reach that age of dependancy, and to see your spouse going through it as well.

Hi, I am sort of going thru the same thing, only with my own parents, and I only have one child. I really dont have much advice but if you want someone to talk to, I would be happy just to have you to talk to and trade stories, I came to work today so upset and sad about things last night til I could almost cry. My Mom is the one with Diabetes and my Dad is getting Alzheimers or Dementia. Its just me and my 8 yr old son and I have no friends or anyone to fall back on. You can write me at ____@____.com all live in Garland, TX. Just hang in there and pray a lot, I know that probably doesnt make you feel any better, but sometimes its just all we have for the moment.
Debbie

I am really old-fashoned. It would be hectic, but I would try to accomodate even my in-laws. I think assisted living is only good for the people that want to be there - the very social outgoing type. It would also be a great experience for your children to learn reverence for the elderly and to really get to know them becasue it sounds like they won't be there long. If done right, there could be lots of life lessons learned for your children!!
I think the key is to PLAN well, and set ground rules, just as you would with any roomates.
All the best, Liz