I know this is all par for the course, but I have yet to be able to get my 8 mo. old daughter to sleep through the night. This is not the issue. I can handle getting up for a 3am feeding, but all of sudden she's getting up every few hours again and unable to put herself back to sleep as she did previously. I don't think she's teething, though it is about that time. She's up every 2-3 hours from the time she goes down at 6:30pm. Prior to a week ago, she was sleeping through most of the night, eating once and going back down without problem until 6am. As if it could get any worse, she is having difficulty napping as well when she use to be a super napper (3-4 hours/day). I'm not a cry it out kinda person. I typically give her 10 min. intervals, soothe her and leave. After an hour of this I give in and pick her up; this, sometimes doesn't even seem to help. My stamina is just not there on days I need to get up for work the next a.m. Is this just a phase? Is it typically for babies who sleep somewhat well to loose their routine? The worst part is my husband sleeps though the entire night, not hearing a thing (her room is 10 feet away)!!! I have never felt so alone in my marriage. I feel as if I'm doing something wrong. Any suggestions or feedback is GREATLY appreciated. And, please don't tell me to let her cry it out. Thanks!!!!!!!
Thanks to everyone for their words of advice! I can try putting her down a bit later (7pm is as late as she'll probably go), however she was getting the recommended 14 hrs b/w her 6:30a bed time and her 2-3 hour naps during the day. She cut out the 3rd nap last Aug., and since then she's super tired by 6:30, hence the early bed time. It use to all work so well!!! No problems and went down like a champ after her bath, book and bottle. I've read all the books and feel like I'm running on fumes! She could be teething, but she's still eating great (both solids 3X/day and formula), not drooling, not putting things in her mouth, not messing around with her tongue etc...)., all the things she did with her 1st two teeth. I just think her brain goes 24/7. She's really active and trying to walk everywhere w/my assistance (cruising, crawling, pulling up the works!). Thanks for listening, I really appreciate all your thoughts!
I had some success with "white" noise. We put an air filter in my son's room when he was little, for the hum of the fan, and it made a huge difference. Also filtered the air in his room while it was at it. hehe. Good luck!
I know you received a lot of responses, but I have to put this up because it was so different.....
My daughter woke up in the middle of the night for 10 months straight!!!! FINALLY I discovered she was flopping around so much in the crib she was bumping her head into the crib rails and waking up. I put the crib bumper pad back on and she has slept through the night ever since.
J.,
Have you tried co-sleeping? You will get more sleep and not be lonely! You are not doing anything wrong, either. This is a phase. Keep up the good work.
Amy
Hi J., it sounds to me like your child is just changing sleep patterns. I have a 13 month old and 5 yr. old. Neither of my children ever slept through the night. My 5 yr. old still comes in our bed almost every night around 3. I runn a home day care and am up at 6 and haven't slept through the night in over a year, so here's what I do if it helps. I don't do the cry it out thing for more than 5 min. or so. I bring my 13 month old in the bed with me if he won't go back to sleep. I know that everyone doesn't agree with that, but I need sleep too (my husband also sleeps through everything.) I did this with my first child until I was done nursing, around 15 months, then i worked on getting her to saty in her bed. My husband and I then started taking turns getting her back to sleep, but she was a bit older so she could cope better. This eventually worked and she would wake up once and we could get her back to bed, but she was almost 2 or 3 before I slept again(sorry). That's when she was able to just climb in our bed and go back to sleep. I'd say do whatever you need to do to sleep, and maybe only have your child take one nap 11-2 or 3. Good luck.
Hi J.,
I am not sure if this will help you, but when I had my son, he was doing the same thing too. I had no idea what it was, but if you are breast feeding they may not be getting enough milk and even if they are it may not be enough. Also they may be collicky, which is what my son was. I changed two things. I went back to regular bottles and I started giving him alittle cereal gradually. It really helped. He slept, we slept. Also my second son, would only go to sleep with soothing music, so I bought one of those CD's that had very long soothing quiet music and he loved it. Also call your doctor, it may be something else. Better safe than sorry. I hope this helped. D.
J.,
My son didn't sleep thru the night until 15 months, it was at that point I was at my wits end with it all and finally went looking for help as I too was not someone to let him "cry it out" I found this book at www.sleepsense.net, it was the best $50 I had ever spent. Yes there were instructions on letting him cry it out but after a few days it got better (like the book says) and he is now 21 months and sleeps all night and naps with no problems. It's all about letting your child teach themselves how to put themselves to sleep without help (i.e. pacifiers, nursing, and/or rocking) He also used to have a pacifier to go to sleep and would need it to go back to bed, I took the pacifier away at the same time I started the book's instructions and after a few days he was a much happier baby as was the rest of the house :) Just a suggestion, as I too couldn't take the sleep deprevation anymore and couldn't imagine this going on waiting for the "phase" to hopefully pass someday.
My daughter, too, would wake every 1.5 - 2 hrs until just recently, she's now 11 months old -- and like yours, was a much better sleeper when younger. It seems that as they get around 8 or 9 months old they begin to remember you and the fun they have when awake, and yes, it is a phase, and no i didn't cry it out either, but at 11 months i put her back in crib (we co-slept) and she is now a great sleeper, and i feel that we did the right thing w/ her (now i feel this way, at the time i was doubting it, even wrote into mamas here), but we did finally get around to getting back to sleep. My solution was to play vigorously w/ her after her short afternoon nap, from 430 - 530 straight, then make dinner, then 630 - 830 she plays again, we practice walking, very physical play w/ her. By 730 pm she is yawning again. She does go to bed al ittle later than yours, but she's always been an 830 sleeper, and she sleeps around 11 hrs a night, sometimes 10, which we are fine with. Both my kids are much more energetic and physical in their play, just like me, so my prayers for the long sleepers didn't come true :) Good luck to you in knowing that it comes to an end, you will have prob few more weeks of waking, but if you can play hard and stick to your routine too, that will help a lot. (sorry if i'm assuming you don't already play hard :)
J....I can't offer much advice on HOW to make a child sleep more or better. All I can say is that, you WILL forget these sleepless nights! They might seem totally horrible and isolating (as far as the hubby goes) but, like pain during childbirth, you WILL forget how it all felt! My first child, who is 16 now, began sleeping through the night at 2 weeks. I can probably count on one hand how many times she awoke during the night as a baby! My next two kids, who are 13 and 7 now, were up like clockwork every few hours until they were about 4 years old. All kids are different, and I've never read a book that offered any true and steadfast answers. Well, my 16 year old now doesn't sleep AT ALL now. She's up at night until at least midnight. I sometimes think that she "used up" all of her sleep when she was little. As far as your hubby not waking up your daughter's cries, my hubby didn't either...and he still doesn't hear a thing all night long. I can hear when a child is squirming in bed or when one gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. I consider this a gift! I can remember when I had nightmares as a child and my mom SOMEHOW was there in what seemed like seconds of waking up scared. Take it easy, handle every day by itself, and simply remember that things will get crazier in your life as a mom - when my daughter was 8 months old, I couldn't even IMAGINE how nutty life would be with a 16 year old. Boyfriends, zits, myspace, drama with the cheerleaders, monthly cramps, $80 pair of jeans, driver's license, choosing a college, homecoming/prom, curfews, parties, smoking/drinking-smell-their-breath tests, etc! I could go on and on. If only I could rewind the clock... Hopefully I didn't scare you too much! Take care. :)
Here is a new perspective. My oldest son had chronic ear infections. He did not show typical signs like fever or pulling on ears. He would get a little cranky and would have trouble laying flat for any length of time. naps were O.K. but overnight he would be up and down. That is how we knew he had an ear infection. Just to be on the safe side I would call her doctor for their thoughts. It probably is not an ear infection but you never know.
My oldest did not sleep through the nught until she was 11 months old, so I know your pain. I went with a five minute time frame. If she fussed or cried I would get up hold her lay on the floor next to her crib and then whenshe was drifting to sleep I would go back in my room. If she fussed agin then I would wiat five minuted before I would do it again. I never let her fus for more than five minutes. I would restart the five muntes if she quieted down and then fussed again . Within two weeks she was sleeping through the night.
please remember that your child may be going through separation anxiety. also if all else fails I would make an appointment with the Dr. My second child was a great sleeper and then about 15 months she went through a similar thing. I tried everything I knew and finally I thought she sounded stuffy and sure enough she had a severe sinus infection that I thought was just a cold.
As for your husband I think that is true for most of them. I resorted to waking him up every other night to deal with the one with the sleeping problem. I told him that I needed to sleep also or I was going to start to cry also.
Hang in there- thongs will get better!
Hello... I recomend reading the book Getting your 12 week old to sleelp 12 hours. At this point, there is no reason she should be eating during the night number one.. but that book is a very fast read and it is insight full... I used it for my current daughter and it helped me.. I hope this helps.. good luck!!
K.
You are me a year and a half ago!!! My daughter is now 2 1/2 years old, and she SLEEPS!! It is a little easier now because I can negotiate with her on nights when she is considering not going to sleep right away. I swear, when you have a little one who doesn't just automatically sleep all night as some seem to, it is the hardest thing, and it doesn't go away with any trick!
Unfortunately, I did use the cry it out method a few times. It worked for a while, but it didn't cure anything. My little girl just didn't want to sleep all nigt. I didn't find any "answers" that made anything perfect, but I did find a book that was helpful. You might want to check it out. It is titled "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I want to read it from the beginning before my next little one comes along.
Good Luck...I know it is hard to hear them cry, but one thing to remember is that when they cry, they don't remember it later, not even why they were crying.
I agree that 6:30 seems kind of early. My DS is 10 months and generally goes down around 8-8:30 and gets up around 630. He usually wakes once per night to eat and right back to sleep.
If you are bottlefeeding I would suggest to you to talk with your husband about sharing some of the burden. If you are breastfeeding maybe you can pump instead of feeding or feed quickly and go right back to sleep and let your husband deal with getting the baby back to sleep sometimes. It's amazing what one night's sleep will do to revive you and make you able to deal with the situation. Good luck!
Hi J.,
I am a 35 year old Mother of five childeren. Ranging from 10 years down to 18 mos. Three boys and two girls. The sleep disruptiuon could be a few things: She could be teething, just because you do not see the teeth buds does not mean they aren't doing anything. Three out of five of my kids were terrible teethers. They cut two at a time. Signs of teething can be a boogie nose, excesive drooling, trouble sleeping at any time even naps because sometimes their ears even hurt from the pressure of the teeth. Eyes, ears,nose, and throat, they are all connected. My youngest guy stuck to me like a little monkey, I could not even put him down. All kids cope differently with pain. I am not a firm believer in letting them cry it out. I always gave my kids 15 minutes or so and than I would pick them up. I do not beleive in traumatizing little ones. Although, they do test us when they are little. And they want to see how far they can go. The other possibility could be a growth spurt. When some of my kids had those they had trouble sleeping through the night and we went from two naps a day down to one! It sounds like your little one is right in the age range of when mine lost the second nap.
Don't despair, nobody said being a Mom was easy. Sometimes, husbands just don't get it. My husband could sleep through a tornado. I too am the sole waker upper in the middle of the night. Childeren are only little for such a short while. Enjoy every minute, and don't torture yourself for doing what you feel is the right thing. You can never spoil a baby.
Good Book - Baby Whisperer Solves All Problems
Good Website - www.babywhisperer.com
Maybe she's going through a growth spert. They seem to want to eat much more often and this should only last a week or two.
I, too, agree about 6:30 being a little early for bed. But remember, sleep begets sleep. At this age, she needs about 14 hours of sleep, roughly 10.5 during the night and 3.5 during the day (2-3 naps). If she has too little sleep, it will only make her sleeping more irratic.
I also think it sounds a lot like teething. Babies can have a lot of discomfort LONG before any teeth show up. It's surprising, sometimes, when you KNOW they are teething and teeth don't show up for a LONG, LONG time!
Hi J.! I know how hard it can be going without sleep and I too can not let my little ones cry it out. I applaud you for putting your daughter to sleep at 6:30pm. Both my girls go to sleep early, my 19 month old goes to sleep at 6:00pm and is up at 7 am and my three yr old goes to sleep a 7 pm and is up at 7 am. Ask any pediatritian and they will tell you kids need 12 straight hours of sleep a night, a total of 14-15 hours with a nap. Kids would be so much happier if they got all the sleep they needed. That being said, have you tried the pick-up/put-down method? I used it with my second daughter and she is a great sleeper now. Basically when they begin crying you pick them up get them to calm down and lay them right back down. No songs, no rocking, no eye contact. YOu may need to do this for a long time. Finally they will start to get the message and not get up, but will probably continue crying. Just rub her tummy, back, butt whatever to calm her as she is lying down. Then I just keep my hand in one spot, no motion. Then stand up and stay in the room with her. Once you are sure she has fallen asleep you can leave. I recommend doing this a nap time first, when you have the most patience. You might also want to put her in her crib during the day to play. This way she can practice pulling herself up and getting herself back down on her own. That maybe her whole problem. Eight months is about the time they start pulling up in their cribs. She may just need to learn how to get back down. Good luck, I hope you get some much needed sleep soon!
J., our sympathies are with you, particularly as a working mom. It really is an isolating feeling when you are forced to deal with the problem alone - the sleep deprivation is truly nothing short of torture. I stay at home, so I expect to deal with the night waking, but if I worked, I really would insist that my husband share in the responsibilities. My guess is you're a Weissbluth devotee (as I am) as he strongly recommends the earlier bedtime. I also find that an evening's bedtime is largely dependent on the day's naps, particularly the duration of the last one. What time is your baby napping? I don't have a magic bullet, but for what its worth, I read in a recent study that consistency in response produces the best sleeper. Respond quickly and pick her up OR choose to cry it out, but blending the two may be confusing and just produce more crying. Best of luck - this too shall pass, lets just hope it's quickly!
I reccomend a book called Healthy Sleep Happy Baby by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a four month old. This book has been so helpful with getting both children 'sleep trained'. I refer to it all the time. I have a group of 5 frinds with kids and we have all used this book and been very successful. Hang in there and good luck!!
I agree with most moms, 6:30 P.M. is way to early for bed. I always keep them awake up until 8:00 then gave them a bath to calm them down with lavender baby bath by johnson and johnson, and the lotion to follow, then read a bed time and with that all was good. These are some techniques that worked for all three of my children. Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with my direct email address is ____@____.com
I agree with the others and keep her up a bit longer try 7:30-8pm. You may have to do this gradually to get her to stay up that late but it worked for my daughter.
I understand your feelings when it comes to your husband. Mine did and still does the same thing. At first I was frustrated and angry that he never heard her. He swears it was not on purpose and I just made a point to alternate with him and make him get out of bed. Sometimes it took several shakes and shoves, but he would get up with her. It may take a while for your daughter to adjust to daddy as well, mine did not like that daddy got her and not mommy, but hold firm and it will be good for both of them and you.
It looks like you have got some great advice already. The doctor told me that I had trained my son to wake up in the middle of the night, because I would get up and feed him. As a first time mom I thought they wake up you feed them, but the doc told me at 6mos to 8mos they should be getting enough solids during the day to last thru the night. So this is what I did (it worked for me, but every child is different), one hour or half hour before bed I would give him some cereal then give him his bottle as he went down. It only took one day for him to get the ideal that he wasn't getting feed in the middle of the night, I would just rub his back or sway back and forth with him, and off he went. I still use this practice today and he is 20 months, but now I give him yogurt. He is a great sleeper now.
You might want to treat the 6:30pm bed time as a nap. Try puting her down at 5:00 or 6:00 and wake her up and hour later (I know never wake a slepping child) feed her and put her back down at 8:00pm. She may just need more food thru the day.
It might be a growing spurt, every few months my son's schedule would go wacky and I could never feed him enough, then he would go back to the same old schedule after a few days.
Its hard to tell whats going though their little minds at that age, just keep trying different things until you find one that works and in a couple of months you will be trying more things.
Hope you both get some sleep tonight.
Hi,
Did I read correctly that she goes down to bed at 6:30 pm. That is one time that needs to be changed. Keep her up alot later than this. I remember children taking naps during the day but never to be placed to bed this early in the evening.
Try your best to keep her up for abit longer, maybe this will help her sleep longer.
Also you and your husband both work, if so you and he should both be sharing the babies responsibilites. Getting up when she does in the middle of the night should not on be your duty. No way !!
J.
