How to Balance My Infant's Need for Sleep with My Toddlers Need for Activity

I have this same problem. Sounds as if your daughters are the same ages as mine. One thing that I've tried to do is make mornings a priority at home - time for me to wake up as much as I can while being sleep deprived, time for my 3 year old to do activities on her own or watch a movie, time for my four month old to be in her best mood of the day and be able to coo on her own in her swing or bouncer. She usually takes a really good morning nap @ 10am (depending on when she gets up) and that's when I get dressed and get prepared for the day. Once she's up after her morning nap we go out for a few hours in the afternoon. Which works well - the baby's in a better mood and the 3 year old gets nice and tired for an afternoon nap. I have had to move the older child's nap back a bit, but it's easier to get her down now and they both nap at the same time. It all sounds easy, but I've learned that I have to be VERY flexible and realize that this schedual doesn't always work perfectly. I think that's the key. Aim high and expect less. You'll end up somewhere in between.
Good luck.

B., first of all you have to stop feeling guilty about being a mom of 2. There is absolutly nothing wrong with taking both kids on an outing. The point is you're still spending time with your toddler. What are you planning on doing? Leaving the baby home alone? If your husband can watch the baby so you and your toddler can go out then let him. Your toddler will learn that mommy still loves her AND her sister very much but sometimes when Mommy wants to do things BOTH kids have to come along. By now or here very soon your baby should be on a pretty good schedule. You should be noticing that she wakes, eats, poops, plays, and naps about the same times every day. So if you're wanting to take an outing with your toddler then go when its time for the baby to sleep and let her sleep in the baby carrier while you and you're toddler do what you want and that way you can still have the baby close by. If at all possible allow your toddler to help feed the baby. If you can use a bottle, whether formula or pumped breast milk, then you can sit your toddler on the couch and lay the baby in her lap, with you supporting her of course, and let your toddler hold the bottle and feed the baby. This is a great way for your toddler to learn about taking care of a baby and for the sisters to bond. If feeding isn't an option then maybe the burping or diaper changing. I think you'll find that toddlers can learn how to do things very quickly if you keep your patience and your temper. Something else you might try are the "Mommy and Me" videos. I bought one after my 3rd baby was born and it is full of action songs that mommy and child/children can sing and dance to together right in the living room so you don't have to go out anywhere. If you don't already have one and if your yard permits, get a swing set for the yard. Then while baby is napping you can take you toddler outside and play with her there and still be able to keep an ear out for the baby with a baby monitor. You can also try playing "Simon Says" or "red light green light" with your toddler right there in your living room. I know its really hard adding a 2nd child to your life. You're worried that your first will feel unloved and neglected but just watching her play and talking with her will show you love her and if you have to play with her while holding baby too you're still spending time with her and showing love. But you really have to stop punishing yourself and feeling guilty. Enjoy having kids, don't regret it. you'll be fine, really.

C.

Take advantage of a baby monitor. Put the baby down for a nap ang go out in the yard with the baby monitor so you can hear when the little one wakes up. That way the older child can still have out side and quality time with you. For days that is not possible, play quit games inside, read stories, get a toddler leapfrog game, color. Who says the toddler needs to be going all the time? I recently had my third baby and i found that transition harder than my secong baby. Now i have two kids to bond and play with and try to keep quiet while he is asleep. Try going for walks or do your outings a little before nap time, then come home and put the baby down for a nap, that way the toddler feels like she is getting out and the baby still gets a nap. Does your toddler still nap? Maybe get them on the same nap schedule, then you have time for yourself! I am just getting my 2yo and 8mo old to start getting on the same nap routine, giving me time with my oldest and when school starts next week I will have that time to myself!! And they all go to bed at the same time to give me time with my husband.

I don't remember giving it much thought. As I remember, at 3 months old most of them are still pretty good at falling asleep when they are tired. I can remember carrying my sleeping baby around (or in the stroller) on outings with a toddler.

I think at that age the ability to sleep in a variety of environments is an asset!

My son is two years younger than my daughter. He slept in the sling with me when we went to activities for DD. I made afternoon naps our priority so everybody had a good nap. He sometimes got a long nap in the am but always a good one in the afternoon and we continued our mornig activities.