Hi Ladies,
My best friend lives an hour and a half away from us. She has two small children right about my kids' ages, so we really want to get together, but it's been difficult in the past year because of the distance and a lack of a second vehicle in both of our households. Her husband has been working out of town a lot, and now he's only home about 2 days a week. When he first started his job, I told Margie that I'd bring the kids up and we'd stay a couple days to keep her company while her husband was gone. We have a second car now, so we're able to go to her. Her hubby takes the car, so she's stuck where she's at.
After I made that promise, she bought a dog. She's had it about three weeks now, and she just told me the other day that house training him has been horrible. She said, "I don't think he EVER pees outside, and I can't figure out where he's been going in the house." I am so grossed out by this, that now I can't bear the thought of bringing my kids to play at their house. I picture my one-year-old putting everything in her mouth, and since Margie has no idea where the dog's been peeing...well, you get the idea.
Margie knows I don't like dogs, but I hesitate to use that excuse because then she may just put the dog in another room while we're there. In reality, it isn't the dog, but what he's done to her house that is keeping me from wanting to visit. Since she has no way of coming to us, I can't even suggest that we meet half way at a park or anything. Even if she figures out where the dog's been going, I can't imagine she'd be able to find ALL his spots. And I admit, I am also a teeny bit of a germaphobe. But just a teeny bit!
How do I avoid visiting her, especially if she requests that we come out? And am I just supposed to never go to their house again until they move? Am I shallow for not wanting to go to her house because of dog pee?
Thanks,
A.
Does her husband get any days off where he could meet you halfway and then you could have them at your house for a few days?
I would also have to say that honesty is the best policy. How long have you been friends? I have a friend that made me chicken on the BBQ once and gave me and my husband food poisoning... she knows that if we are eating it is at my house or I am cooking at her house.
L.
http://www.HealthyFamilyHome.com
I know that is a tough one because being honest could really hurt... If you don't want to tell her straight out... Pet dander stays in the air even if the dog goes in the other room. Perhaps you could develop an alergy to pet dander. I am in a similar situation. I totally understand.
Hi A.,
I would tell her that you suspect your children have pet allergies. I know that it may be somewhat untruthful, but if you go there and have a miserable visit, it won't be fun.
Hi A.,
I have a similar situation with a friend that doesn't clean. There are visible chunks everywhere (Food, dirt, dog hair, you name it.) She only lives 30 minutes away and I haven't been to her house in over a year. She also has a dog that has to be in it's crate or it goes on the floor. I understand how you are feeling.
My solution was to meet her places. I know that you are limited with your friend not having a car. Can you all fit in your car? I would try to meet at a zoo, a children's museum, park or playland (which can be just as gross! :). I haven't had to have that confrontation because meeting places works better for both of us since I work 1st shift and she works 2nd.
Good luck. I can't really say to be upfront because I don't have it in me to do it. If it came down to it, I guess I would say that you are questioning pet allergies in one of the kids and you would prefer to steer clear of the dander.
C.
Why don't you go and pick her up and bring her back to your house? That is kinda gross about the dog, but, really, is she a dirty person? She is your friend, so you should either, tell her the truth, (if she is a real good friend, she should know how you are about germs, or get her to come to your house, but seriously, if she can't come to your house for some reason, tell her the truth!
That's gross, and I wouldn't want to go either! If she comes right out and asks, I would be honest with her and say that the dog bothers you, and the fact that he's not house trained bothers you, too.
With summer right around the corner, I think you should plan to go up on a nice day when the kids can play outside. Or, try to keep your one-year-old on a blanket on the floor as much as possible.
I agree, that is GROSS. I am an animal lover and infact have a dog and just adopted a puppy--but I am a clean freak (as my kid's tell me). My dogs are always house broken in a few weeks--with hardly any accidents. She must not be watching him carefully.
First Tell her to get her dog help from professional trainers- www.housebreakingbible.com --they give free advice about housebreaking your dog. Suggest she have her carpets professionally cleaned. If you still are'nt comfortable just tell her your plans have changed.
It is hard being honest in a situation like this, you don't want to offend a friend, but I don't blame you for not wanting your baby to play at a home where a dog has peed all over--YUK:(
GL:)
Dog pee? Really? I was expecting something like; they smoke in their house, or, her house is so dirty there's just a path through the filth. She's just trying to tell you what's going on with her and the hard time she's having with the dog. She sounds like she trusts you and therefore feels like she can talk to you without being judged. Not so much, huh. Granted, she should be keeping better track of her dog so she can discipline him and teach him to go outside, but is this really worth ruining a friendship over? Because that's what is going to happen. If you are really a true friend to someone you have to love them for their faults as well. And as for your kids. They will be fine. If they are brought up in a house of strict cleanliness they will surely be able to smell urine and probably know to avoid it. My advice would be to either lighten up a bit or find a new friend.
