How to Address My Mother

I think you should talk to your mum. of course you dont want to outrigth put down her cleanliness skills but you do want to remind her about the diaper issue. as i am sure you know and she may honestly not know, your son could get a very bad diaper rash or a urinary tract infection, i dont know if you have brothers and taking care of a boy might be very different for her. if this continues i would remind her of what you packed and that he needs to be clean when you pick him up incase you want to go somewhere with him. you must have a somewhat good relationship with your mum if she is watching your son so give it a try, dont be degrading just talk to her and say..(for instance) would you mind changing his socks and oh would you mind changing his diaper when it's wet? good luck. i know this matter can be handled without hurt feelings, you no your mum better than i and you will say the right thing. Good luck

First of all, I know its hard to speak to your mom, in a manner about the cleansiness issues, But this is your child, what is more important? Sparing her feelings, or making sure your son has the very best? If a neighbor perhaps notice her home, then there could be bigger issues to deal with. Then Just feelings alone. I know you do not want that.
What you need to do is lay down the law to your mom, this is your child and he deserves the best. If she continues this behavior, I would say you need to take him somewhere else where you can be sure the quality of care is to your liking. This is important and will make you happy as well as your son!

Does being wet all day give your son a diaper rash? Gentley tell her that marker, food, ect. are ok, but the wet diaper and snotty face is not. They can spread colds, flu, and cause diaper rash. Not to mention Pink Eye. Tell her if your son can get pink eye from the mucous on his face, if it gets in his eyes, and how easy it is spread. Pink eye is a pain to get rid of, mostly because of the eye drops. Eye drops + Toddler = no fun all the way around. These are not scare tactics, but can and do happen all the time.

I can understand your frustration!!
I was very young when I had my son, and would work on the weekends and leave him with his dad for the day. It seemed like my son had a never-ending diaper rash! It got to the point that I would leave 4 or 5 diapers out, and would come home after working 12 hours and there would still be at least 3 diapers still there. Seemed to me like the only time my son's pants were changed was if he had a bowel movement.
My son is now 9, and his father and I split up when he was 2, but sometimes I feel that not much has changed. If my son is sick, I have to call and remind my son to tell his dad that he needs his medication. Sometimes he comes home from his dad's, and he hasn't had a shower all weekend. It's a tough situation. You don't want to come out and say that you don't think they are doing the right thing, but in the same respect, that may be just what you need to do to get your point across.
Make it a point to let your mother know that you appreciate her watching your son, but that there are things that go on (or don't) that bother you. This is your son, and you have to look out for his best interest.
If you have to, make something up like "he's got eczema, and it's important that his skin stay clean, or he'll have a breakout, and that's very uncomfortable for him". A little white lie never hurt anyone! If that doesn't work, maybe searching for other people to watch him is your best bet.
Good Luck!

My suggestion would be to be honest -- be nice, but very honest -- this is YOUR son. Maybe she just doesn't realize and won't until brought to her attention. Hope things go well!!