In my Sociology class, we've been focusing on being sensitive to people's intersectionality (basically how all the roles in your life intersect in order to create your personal identity, which isn't always the identity assigned you by greater society.) The idea that our life, and the way we've lived it is 'just the way it is' seems to be deeply ingrained in us. It is natural for humans to see their reality as the only possible reality and therefore dismiss the validity of other realities.
I enjoy this topic. (OK, I admit, it, I have a high need for cognition.) Anyway, the topic got me thinking about little things that had never even occurred to me, such as that my pride in my nation could be viewed by people who have pride in their nationality as my not having respect for their nationality. (I hope that was clear!)
So, my question is-have you ever found yourself judging others based on your reality? Did you step back and try to insert yourself into the reality fo the person you were judging? Did that change the judgment you had made?
For example: When I was in junior high school, my friend had to stay home from school to watch her younger brother. My reality was that parents valued education for their children over most anything, and caring parents made sure their children went to school. Her parents reality was that most girls don't graduate from high school, and mom needed to work an extra shift that day so the family could eat. While I still do not agree with taking one child out of school to care for another, I am now able to understand that our realities were different, and that had nothing to do with how much either of our parents loved us. What was, in my reality an uncaring thing for a parent to do was in fact a caring thing in my friends parents' reality(albeit short-term,) because they all needed to eat.
Wow, now I'm seeing a correlation between sensitivity to intersectionality and consequentialism/nonconsequentialism! I can't wait for Spring Break to be over so I can bring it up in class...
EDITED TO ADD-Maybe I mistitled this?
I agree we all do it to a degree, I'm wondering if you've caught yourself doing it, and if in catching yourself your thoughts/actions changed as a result?
I'm really beginning to think that I must be a terrible writer...
ADDED-
Ooh, Julie, I think I like perspective better, too, thanks!
Dude.
It's Friday.
I'm ordering a pizza.
Some pepperoni should be intersecting with my teeth in about 10 minutes.
Oh - spring break - and you don't have any classmates to talk to.
That explains a lot.
I was thinking
"intersectionality"?
What in the world is that? (rhetorical question - I don't really have a burning desire to know - and if I did I know how to use Google and a dictionary).
I'm thinking maybe someone has a vocabulary calendar and is that the word for today?
Occasionally I don't mind a deep mind bending conversation but noticing a cluster of them makes me feel like a guinea pig and it's not a good feeling.
These things take on a trollish quality after awhile.
As for your question - judging others based on my personal reality?
Yeah, I think most people do to varying degrees.
Why don't you put down the computer for the weekend and go play with your 4 kids for awhile.
Do something fun.
That's what spring break is about.
Hit the books when class is back in session.
I am utterly amazed that a single mother of four has time for any of this.
I only have one at home now (the other two are gone to college) and after work I have spent the last several hours taking her and a friend to her boyfriend's lacrosse game, eating pizza at halftime, chatting and talking about boys and other social/school issues with them, and then coming back home to take care of laundry and picking up the house a bit.
When I finally go to bed I'll pick up the wonderful Bill Bryson book I am currently reading that talks about all kinds of political and economic things that were happening in our country that are STILL unsolved/happening today (1927, One Summer in America) pretty relevant and topical stuff.
Where the hell are your kids and what are they doing that you are sitting around ruminating over bizarre philosophical concepts on a Friday afternoon...???
I always try to "insert" myself into others' perspectives or "reality" (to use your words), but I am cognizant of the fact that it is next to impossible for ANY of us to be totally free of our own "reality," no matter how hard we try. We are shaped by our experiences and our cultures.
However, what is important is that we really try to understand others' perspectives, even if we can never entirely empathize with them.
pretty much a fancied-up way of saying 'as you get older, you become more aware that perspective plays a big role in everything.'
when i was giving a lot of homeschool classes i remember doing a few on the ancient greek philosophers. the teenagers and i all enjoyed it, and i still find 'em referencing sokrates on random facebook quotes, and i squee with joy.
but for the most part i just find it annoyingly masturbatory.
and self-consciously vocabularily excessive.
khairete
S.
There is no way to not judge others from your own perspective. You cannot get out of your perspective, this is what perspective means. And each perspective expresses a different value system. You can learn to be open to difference, to strive to not judge, but to validate your own perspective, you inherently invalidate others.
I dont like the word reality. Perspective is much better. There are facts, and then how we see them from our perspective. it isn't about reality. We each have a unique perspective that has grown out of our experiences. The facts were your friend's mom needed her to stay home so they could all eat. There is no judgement until you start bringing in what it means to be a caring parenting. There are facts and then how we see them, interpret them. You cannot break free of interpretation. But you can learn to interprete free from judgement. But even then it is always within and from your own perspective.
For instance, I'm drinking a beer. That's the fact. Some folks may have problems with me opening a beer at 4 in the afternoon, others may not. You can see it from multiple perspectives, but the fact can't change, just like your friends babysitting can't change. It happend. How we see it is where the differences are.
Or something like that.
I am pleased to hear you are learning. I hope you continue past Soc 101, and learn something about yourself soon.
Eventually, with the help of an excellent doctor, you might actually get to this point:
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Incidentally, it's true, I have not "walked a mile in your shoes". I tend to make better choices than that.
I mean, I reflect on, and learn from my mistakes, and tend not to repeat them.
Best to you.
:)
One of the first things we addressed in marriage counseling was learning how to take a step back and try to see the world through the other persons lenses, knowing that how they interpret things and situations is effected by the sum of their life experiences. Learning how to do that with each other made us both automatically start applying it to others. It is a great skill to have.
When I was younger, I definitely did a lot of this.. In my case and using one example, I would say that I USED to not get how people would brag about their kids. (mind you, I was in my early 20s when I thought this way.) I did so because when I was in foster care, the people were very unkind and often told us that our parents did not want us.... there was always this distinction made between the foster children and their biological kid... never were we doted over or encouraged. That said, although I have always liked kids, I just never could get why parents would brag about them... I truly thought stuff like that was excessive... of course, that was only because children learn what they live and I learned that I didn't matter as a kid.. scroll forward.. I am now a loving parent of a child and do I brag............. yes I do.... and do I mind listening to other parents brag.. no I don't.. and that's because I have now walked in their shoes and can see why they do it.. I definitely think a person's upbringing and environment can affect who we become as people.. but as we get older, we definitely have the ability to change and reconsider our roles as well as others... I am not sure I answered your question properly... but I hope I have..
best of luck with your class :)
Am I sensitive to people who feel oppressed, discriminated against, and ridiculed based on their class or role or race or gender, sexual preference? Sure. I also try to put myself in someone else's shoes. yes, sometimes my understanding of their life changes. Sometimes not. That's reality. That's life. .
Yeah, pizza sounds amazing to me too. So does a movie night with my boys, and a glass of wine. So yeah that's where I'll be. In my reality.
I was a psych major and didn't want to take algebra to graduate so I switched to Sociology. I loved it. I found I am a Functionalist. I love how it all fits together and we need and use each other.
Having had the sociology classes and learning about micro and macro and all the different perspectives I really came to a point where seeing things from someone else's position is much easier.
It's fun to see you coming to that point...lol. Good luck in school.
This is way too deep for me. lol Have a good weekend!!!
