How Out of My Bed

did you ever watch the show nanny 911??the bestsuggestion is put her in her own bed and every time she gets out keep putting her back in to it she will cry and carry on but b persistant.K.

Dear L.,
It is not too late. I did the same thing when my daughter was 7 mon old. My doctor told me to let her cry and that it won't harm her to cry. She will eventually go to sleep. It might take several days. If it bothers you that she is crying so much, put her in her crib and stay by her bed until she falls asleep. I used to do this when my kids were asleep. L. M

Well, it might be too late, but there is nothing wrong with bed sharing or co-sleeping. It is the normal tradition in most parts of the world. The U.S. is one of the rare places where babies sleep in "cages" in their own rooms. Co-sleeping and bed sharing actually lower the risk of SIDS. The risk is only higher if the baby is bed sharing with someone other than the parents or if alcohol is involved. Read Dr. Sears' The Baby Book and Attachment Parenting for validation of your good choice and a great philophy and parenting technique. You could put your baby in a bassinet next to your bed or in a "side car" attachment at the beginning of the night if you want space to yourself. If she is in another room, make sure you go to her right away when she cries. A book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution might help you get her to sleep better on her own. I have a 4-year-old girl who sleeps in a twin bed right next to our king size bed. She usually ends up crawling in with us. She just hasn't been ready to sleep in her own room yet, and that is okay. I do recommend getting the king size bed if you continue to co-sleep. Good luck!

Been there 6 times.
You could get a Co-Sleeper to attach to your bed.
I have a granddaughter (15 months) who was the same way, and it has taken her until just recently to start being more able to be away from Mommy.
We always put our babies to bed in their cribs at first and then brought them into our bed whenever they woke up to nurse.
Since she is already 4 mos. old, this is going to be harder to establish.
I would just try putting her in there after she nurses at bedtime and/or falls asleep.
I have to say "Good Luck" because I know exactly how it is...

It's not too late...my kids both slept in our bed until about 6 months old and then we transitioned them. First we had them sleeping on their own at naptime then started to put them down in their own beds at nighttime. Now they both sleep fine in their own rooms. Have a little rocking/cuddle time and make sure you have a nightlight and something of interest in the crib with soothing music. You'll be amazed how well she'll adjust.

Before I had my first child (now 15) I went to a pediatrican's lecture on babies. One of the best pieces of advice was that babies need to be put to bed awake by the time they are 4 months old. That way when they wake up they know where they are and aren't scared and are more likely to go back to sleep on their own. I followed this advise with both babies and never had any sleep issues. My second child was also exclusively breast fed, and this worked for him to sleep on his own.

Use _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a terrific way to get her into her own bed using a gentle, compassionate method, with the bonus that it works! LOL I used it on my oldest who was a "mama's boy" and very sure that he didn't want to sleep in his own bed. I refused to do that cry-it-out thing - what a horrifying way to have to go to sleep - so this way really suited our attachment parenting beginnings. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Move a comfortable chair into her room and nurse her sitting up until she falls asleep, let her sleep in your arms for about 10 - 15 minutes then slowly and gently move her to her bed. The closer the chair is to the bed the better. She's still really little so she's still going to need to nurse at least ever 2 hours so you just get up, shuffle in and feed her until she's done, wait your 10 or 15 then set her back in bed. Sometimes having an old t-shirt that smells like you and your husband in the crib with her can help. Roll them up and put then on either side of her sort of wedging her between them.

This is what I did with my daughter and it worked, good luck.

It won't be so hard at 3 months old. Put her in her crib and if she cries, pat her back, etc until she falls asleep. She is used to being cozy warm in your bed, so make sure she is wrapped in a blanket. It may take several days to get her to go without a fuss, but she will eventually.

Jennifer R is right. That's the method recommended by the Amer. Academy of Peds. I had to do it with my son after he stopped sleeping properly around 15 months. It's hardest on you to follow the process because they cry for the first few nights, but then catch on. You should also try leaving her alone (to nap, or just to get used to it) in her crib during the day for short periods so that she's able to "get a feel for it" as a safe place. My doctor told me that for them, if you let them fall asleep somewhere else and then place them in their crib or abruptly switch the place they sleep, it would be the same as if you normally fell asleep in your master bedroom and then suddenly woke up on the floor in your kitchen. Good luck!

Hi L., I don't think you should have an infant, specially that young, sleeping in the bed with you guys, either one of you can roll over in your sleep.
A good option that I had with my son was the co-sleeper, I really wanted to have him close to me at night, so this was a great option because the co-sleeper attaches to your bed so you can even hold her little hand while in bed, but she'll have her own space to sleep and no danger that any of you would get in that space.
Hope that helps.

L.,

Oh girl I know exactly what your going through. My daughter is also three months old and a Mama's girl (most times I am also the only one to soothe her) She has been in my bed since the beginning and I would also like to get her to sleep in her crib. I have tried to put her in there when she was happy during the day. I let her fall asleep in my arms and hold her for awhile and then put her in her crib at night. I refuse to let her cry it out. I think she will grow to hate her crib if I leave her in there to cry. Sure eventually she would sleep but she will hate it and I just think she would sleep better if she goes to sleep happy. I wouldn't want to cry myself to sleep every night!!! So I am not here to give you advice cause Lord knows I still have not found anything that works. I just want to say that if you get any good ideas from anyone or find something that works for you that doesn't involve crying PLEASE for the love of God pm me and let me know. Also if you just want to talk pm me. We are probably going through some of the same things with a 3 month old and it is nice to talk to someone else who is going through the same things. Have fun with her and your 2 year old. I also have to say good job to you for doing all that you do. I can not imagine having a two year old AND a baby. My baby girl runs me ragged as it is and I don't know if I can have any more. So good luck and again PLEASE let me know if you find something good that works.

M.

It's not too late, but be prepared to stick with the routine once you start to wean her into her own crib. Start by putting her into her crib. If she cries, let her cry for 5 min. If she is still crying, go into her room and don't pick her up, but pat her or rub her and soothe her with your words. Then say goodnight, walk out again - you will probably have to do this several times - perhaps several nights in a row. The good news is at 3 months it will not take as long to get her into a new routine. The longer you wait, the longer it takes to break the habit. Good luck!

My son slept in my bed at night only, with me until he was five months old. Then he learned how to roll over. I started putting him in his crib and he never had a problem with it.

I would get a pack-n-play and keep it in your room, and let her sleep in that. It has a bassinet sort of thing - I think you can get one for about $100-125 (unless you can swing getting one on Ebay or in the classifieds).

The hardest part is going to be making up your mind to stick with it. It may take her a couple nights to get used to the idea, if that. Just make sure it's in a warm place, and there isn't anything like a heat or a/c vent blowing air on her or something.

Just a couple of thoughts...good luck!

It's not too late. Put her in her crib, rub her back, and leave the room. If she cries, let her cry for 5 full minutes, then go in and rub her back BRIEFLY and leave again. This time, let her cry for 10 minutes before you go in to rub her back -- again BRIEFLY -- then leave the room again. The next time, wait 15 minutes...then 20 minutes...

It might take a few nights or even a week, but if you're consistent, she will learn to fall asleep on her own. It's not easy, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be.

I used this method for my girls when they were babies, and I'm so glad I did. They're now 9 and 6, and when it's bedtime, they kiss us goodnight, and go upstairs to their beds...in separate rooms.

Hi L.,
I don't think it's too late. Our daughter slept in her bassinet in our room until about 4 months. Maybe you could try to put her in her crib for naps if she doesn't do that already. Have you tried to put her in the crib at bedtime? She will get used to it eventually if you slowly transition her.