How Many Gifts?

3 from Santa (like the Wisemen) and too many from mom and dad. However, we are also cutting back. The BIG gift this year is a cruise that we'll take about a week after Christmas. But for that they are getting new carry-ons, and all sorts of cruise stuff (bathing suits, flip flops, sun glasses, hats, etc.). They only have a few toys to open from us.

We don't do it by number...we do it by what they ask for and try to spend about the same amount of $ on each kid.

I was a broke single parent most of my daughter's life. I usually got her her one good present from me and one from "Santa" and filled up her stocking with snacks. That was it, and she was not scarred by it.

It really depends, on what the gifts are. I have 3 kids now and running out of space. I am sick of getting them little junky items that they play with for a week and then I find it everywhere.
I am going to get the kids 3-4 things each. One of their gifts will be a big, fairly expensive item.
Nowadays I am going more for quality than quantity.

I just want to congratulate you first - for having so much commen-sense in this approach. My husband's family would set out this huge amount of presents - half of which were junk - and an orgy of gift opening and selfishness ensued. No one paused to see what the others opened, there was no pause to savor the suspense, no joy in the anticipation, no expression of gratitude - it was just a free for all.

I grew up in a family of 5 kids. There was never a lot of money, but after my father left there was even less. We would take turns opening present to stretch it out as long as possible and we enjoyed every moment. One Christmas when I was 8 (my dad was still around) we lived in southern California for a while and all i wanted was roller skates - no the key-kind but the kind with the white boot. My mom told me if that's what I wanted I'd only get that one present. And I only got that one present - and I was the happiest kid that day.

I made sure that my husband & kids came to use my family's practice of enjoying the gift opening - we make sure that only one person opens a gift at a time and we all enjoy the process for that person opening his gift. WE even instilled the process into gatherings with my husband's family - back in the younger days.

I don't have a formula for the perfect amount of presents - but all I can say is try to get him that extra special thing he really wants and then a few things you know he'd like. If he likes building, get legos or other building sets, if he like art get him various things to create with (paint, pastels, special paper, modeling clay) if it's music get him a recorder, a keyboard or rythm instruments (maracas, tamborine, etc.) Try to find another family that you can give to - it will really enrich his (& your) appreciation of Christmas.

Enjoy mama and know you're doing your child a great favor by not setting up unrealistic expectation. woohoo mama - you go!

gosh maybe i'm on my own but that seems lame. unless you cant afford it then its awesome

but honestly my parents were poor all year. we didnt have utilities on a lot, ate hot dogs daily because of cost yet on christmas they'd some how go crazy on us. a few hundred each. Obviously they couldnt afford it so it wasnt smart
BUT since i can splurge a little and still hve necessities I go nuts on my 6 year old for christmas. they are only little once, and its so magical to go downstairs and see a tree filled with presents under.

along with that my daughter has
her dads house
5 sets of aunts and uncles
2 sets of grandparents
and now my boyfriends
3 brtohers
his 2 sets of parents

so yea shes super excited for christmas

with all of that said she only asked santa for 2 presents and must forget she gets tons because she's only expecting a few

We are poor, and I give my children more than 3 gifts apiece. I save all year, I save my Amazon gift cards, and I shop wisely to find the best deals. I've also quit going shopping randomly because I end up with stuff that looks neat or is on sale, but doesn't end up being a favorite with the children. Now I plan for months to think...what can they use? What would they really like?

I had a really hard time shopping this year because the fact is my children DO get gifts from other sources (both grandparents and one very generous uncle) and they have "everything."

Here's what I bought this year...

for my 2 year old, I bought three board book box sets, which she loves, two other board books (Little Blue Truck, and Goodnight Goodnight Construction Sight), Alphie (Playskool Robot I had and loved as a kid), a set of booster cards for him, a Cinderalla baby doll, and a Jake and the Neverland Pirates shirt. All together, that stuff was probably about $120.

For my 7 year old, I bought a Lego Friends set (the treehouse) and a little Lego Friends add on figurine set, a pair of floral jeans, two Wii games and a DS game (all on clearance...two for 7, one for 3), a Jewelry box, a flip video camera, and an SD card to go with it. Again, that was all about $120.

As "for both" gifts, I got a Scooby Doo DVD and a play food sushi set from M&D that you can really "cut" the sushi, etc. They love stuff like that.

I have no idea what they'll get from everyone else. I know my parents bought them a rug and table for their room, a basketball hoop for outside, and a LIttlest Pet Shop thing for the youngest one. My uncle usually goes all out and they'll probably each get 5-10 gifts apiece from him.

After Christmas, when I have enough saved, I also want to take my oldest daughter to go pick out a real ring...her first one.

Really, though, children are happy with about anything. If you keep him at three gifts, he'll be just as happy as the child who gets 20 because to him, that will be the norm. It isn't worth fighting with your husband over.

However, if it isn't a financial burden and you WANT to get him more, you ought to be able to. Discuss it with your husband and explain that you'd only like to get really valuable gifts (not necessarily expensive, but worthwhile gifts) and you'd like to get more than 3.

Perhaps if you do a little research online and come up with the specific things you want to get, and then show him, he will agree. I do that each year with my husband.

i didn't read every response but here is how we roll. :-) my 11.5 year old, only child, DS, get Christmas from my side and Chanukah from my DH's side. He is the only grandchild that lives in town and he has a few aunties who remember him at Christmas as well, so he ends up getting a lot of gifts. He is good about saving any gift cards and/or cash for future use and I always include some basics, he's gotten Chanukah socks from me since his first celebration. It's hard not to spoil him because he is such a great kid. Having said all that; this is the first year he has asked me to take him shopping so he can use some of his money to get gifts for his Dad and for some of his friends. The reciprocity has begun.

Happiest of Holidays to you and yours. :-) S.

My kids have lots of gifts under the tree, but only two or three are toys (including the ones Santa brings). They will get stuff they need, like pj's, socks, underwear, clothes, bedding, towels, toiletries, books, school supplies, backpacks, lunch kits etc. (I try to buy the back to school stuff on sale, and save it for Christmas) We do love having lots of packages to open. They will also get a gift from Grandma, a gift from my brothers family, and a gift from my husbands company Christmas party.

My 3 year old son is going to get 5-6 gifts from us and then a few more from family. Plus, he gets toys from us throughout the year. i think as long as you can afford it, you should get your little guy a few more gifts! It's Christmas! :)

Set a dollar amount, instead of how many.

I tend to go overboard, but this year we are cutting back, mainly with the adult kids though. The little ones will still get 2-3 from Santa and a bunch from mom and dad. I tend to be a really good shopper, so I can find a good bit for what I have to work with.

I could imagine me going overboard with one kid though. i love Christmas and I love giving the kids gifts.

I have found that the more presents a child gets, the less grateful they are. We now give one big present (like a bike) and then some stocking-stuffers and/or 'useful' presents (pj's or books). The kids are less overwhelmed and really appreciate what they get.

I'd aim for a few Santa toys and three from you guys. We try not to go too crazy, but really try hard to get most of the things on their lists. They don't ask for much. They usually ask for 1 or 2 things each year and we add on any other goodies we think they might need or want. I think my kids are getting about 5-6 things, but they do have extended family buying for them as well. I'd guess they get about 8-10 presents each year from everyone.

Well, you can give more gifts without giving more toys if you feel like there should be more to open on christmas morning. How about picking out a few nice books and a couple of new pajamas or clothes and wrapping those up? My kids get lots of presents, but many are not toys. Art supplies are always good too.

My son is 4.5 and I don't have a number of gifts, but I do have a spending budget. We keep a list of things throughout the year that he has mentioned on multiple occassions. This year, he is getting:
- 2 board games
- Early reading/writing workbook
- Junior scientist kit
- Megatron Transformer
- Uno cards (begging for them)
- 2 new games for the Wii (with the new system coming out, the old games are dirt cheap right now)
- Elecric toothbrush
- New tracks/cars for his train set
- Skylanders action figures

All of which was purchased for under $300. As he gets older and the gifts become more "pricey", there will be fewer. I start buying things very early (July-ish) as I find them on sale or with a good coupon. It allows us to have lots of things under the tree without going nuts financially.

The baby? She's getting 2 or 3 new things from us... she's 7 months old, so she really doesn't know and I refuse to pile on the plastic blinky stuff when she loves playing with whatever she finds around the kitchen!

If 3 is what you can afford without putting things on a credit card, then that's it. If your husband has picked some arbitrary number... then it's kind of strange.

Get him things he really wants or that you really want him to have. Don't put a limit of the presents (what makes the number 3 so special?), but also don't buy more just to buy more. Christmas is the one time of the year when, if I see something reasonably priced that I know my kids would enjoy, I can just get it! I don't actually count presents (although now that you mention it, I think my son is getting 5-6 from us this year). I set a budget, and buy within that.

However, if your husband wants your son to just have 3 and is really set on it, just make sure that all 3 presents ROCK! ^_^

Although I try not to get too much, I always end up buying more than I intend to. I think my kids get about 3 gifts from Santa and probably an additional 2-3 form us. Usually at least one gift is clothes and sometimes another one is bedding (e.g. new sheets). My kids also get from grandparents (probably 2-3), and then an additional 5 from other family members or gift swaps. So overall they get a lot!

Given he's an only child, no other family, he's now 5 and only gets on toy on his bday, I vote 3 is too low... It's great you're not spoiling him etc but there seems to be room for more without going overboard. We give 6-7 each plus something from one set of grandparents and my sister's family. We weren't rich growing up but Christmas was the one time of year we were a bit spoiled materialistically and it was fun.

Too many. I am cutting back this year because I've gone overboard in the past (b/c she's my only and the sks have other family to buy them presents). My DD also gets new pjs, books, and other things she might need as well as toys, which spreads it out.

My son has never asked for much... Therefore, during the year, when he does ask for something (which usually isn't expensive) we tend to buy it.. As for Christmas, when younger we'd get him a few things.. maybe three or so... E.g. an Easel (which he still uses to this day) a toy... some stocking stuffers.. We 'd also make a nice breakfast.. in our house, it's the simple things..
Now, at age 11, so far all he has asked for are some books..

one or two from santa. three to four from us. About three from grandparents (three sets) one from great grandparents (three sets still alive) and one each from six siblings over both sides. People wonder why we tell them to stop buying our kids toys. This year we are only giving one toy and one big gift (a trip they have been asking for for two years). My mom, sister and grandma are pitching in to get the kids a "swim with the dolphin" experience at the vacation we are going on so I love that that is at least four less 'toys' but I do feel like my kids are going to feel a little "gipped" since it is not a full family Christmas as in the past so there will be minimal gifts under the tree. EVEN when most of the others weren't theirs, it is just exciting to see this mound of gifts that sprung up overnight:)

Ok- seeing that my children have family that also buys for them it will be way off from your home. But I also feel christmas is a time to dump old and get new.we always set a $ amount but i will tell you as kids get older the amount goes up or they get a whole lot less- 2 years in a row my son who is almost 14 now has only gotten 1 want for christmas and birthday. This year will probably be about the same because his wants are expensive video games, etc. I always go with what they NEED first. My kids basically know if they need new snow boots that they will be getting them for christmas. new clothes, same thing. Then with whatever budget we have left we go get the wants. Sometimes one child will have 5 presents and another will have 3, and the third will have 15 just because they wanted cheaper stuff ;)
Now i admit my children are very spoiled (since they have 4 sets of grandparents it is hard for them not to) and they have too much stuff. THIS is a problem. A major problem actually. So setting a limit on how much stuff you give him isnt a bad idea. make sure whatever you buy he will truelly love appreciate and enjoy it atleast until next christmas. My daughter really wanted a doll house like major super bad (she even said if it is the only thing she gets she would be happy) but i didnt want to spend that kind of money on something she would outgrow so quickly. My mom found a wooden doll house that could easily be used as a bookshelf. Thank goodness because it was only a dollhouse for less than a year, but the bookshelf has gotten some new paint and is still going strong.
This year my girls (who share a room) wanted to upgrade from "little girl" bedroom to big girl bedroom. So for their brithday (tuesday) I painted their room fun colors that they both love. That is what they got for their birthday this year a new room, paint and some usefull storage,shelves, etc. Thats it. We asked all family and friends to only buy gifts for their new room or give money to get what was needed in there. It worked out great. My grandma gave them money to buy need bedding sets, etc.
They grow so quickly and grow out of things so quickly that you really dont want to buy a bunch of "stuff". I have 3 kids who have always had too much stuff. It is not a fun problem to deal with. We are trying very hard to cut back on the stuff around here so although 3 toys might be a bit too small a number if he only has a few things he already plays with- i highly recommend there being a limit and make those things count!
If your husband really feels 3 is enough- agree to 3 toys but see if he will agree with still giving some "needs" gifts as well.

3 gifts on xmas morning. he does get gifts from family.

We have a 6 year old and I think half of the fun is unwrapping gifts. We give two things from Santa and about 5 from us plus a stocking. We all take turns unwrapping and watching each other so he knows it's not all about him. He gets other things from family also. Maybe you could get a couple small items to wrap up to make it more fun. At this age getting any gift is so exciting. Enjoy!

I guess my kids got 8-10 gifts under the tree. They weren't all big toys - some were things like a new 64 box of crayolas, a paint set, a 5pack of Matchbox cars, an outfit for Barbie. My kids were both June birthdays, so the holidays were not near the time they'd get new toys for their birthdays and I didn't buy "just because" toys. They did get gifts from a small handful of other relatives on Christmas and Hanukah.

Do you do stockings, too? Maybe that's where you can go a little more crazy. If you start giving him too many gifts now, you'll create a monster. I say about three decent gifts is fine and then really stuff the stocking with a lot of little toys, candies, and fun things.

I've never counted. I just get them things I know they'd like. Plus lots of books, and the traditional Christmas Eve pajamas.

This year we are remodelling the basement and got a used air hockey table and a new xBox 360 Kinect. We're going to put a nice sectional down there (probably used if I can find a good one) and that will be Christmas for all of us. Plus some stocking goodies and new pajamas of course.

My kids get a few each from Santa under the tree unwrapped - like 1-2 toys to share and 2 each of their own. Then they are getting 7-8 gifts from us and a stocking. I set a amount I like to spend but also want to keep the number of gifts even between kids while I can :)

Kiddos get gifts from all 8 aunts/uncles and grandparents on Christmas Eve, then us Christmas morning then from my parents and sister Christmas afternoon. They also get gifts from my brother (in the mail) and best friend at some point.

That being said, you can probably tell they get a lot of gifts. We purge throughout the year and A LOT of the toys they do have are hand me downs. So we usually get rid of 1-2 bags around Christmas time and then throughout the year I will get rid of stuff.

Other than their birthdays and Christmas, I do not buy a lot toys during the year. An occasional toy here and there maybe...but definitely not a weekly or monthly thing.

My parents always got us a lot of gifts and call it materialistic, but I enjoy giving a lot of gifts to my kids. I do not think that will ever change!! I realize they do not NEED new toys....but I try to get them things that I think they can/will use for a while or can be used in combination with other toys they already have.

This year my 3YO son is getting spiderman slippers, a lunchbox, new umbrella, flash light, bug cage for outdoor exploring, chefs hat and apron, outfit and light up pillow. 5YO daughter is getting a flash light, new puzzle, Monopoly, bug cage, chefs hat and apron, slippers, outfit and light up pillow. So they quite a few of the 'same' things but of their own. Santa is bringing him a large Hot Wheels set, her a large Littlest Pet Shop set, CAsh register and Toy vaccuum.

When I was raising 6 kids in 1 house, they only received 3 toys each from me. We didn't really do the Santa thing. I just don't like lying to the kids. I also had a retriction against noise toys. All that peeping, buzzing and humming was just too much for me.

With 6 kids that would be 18 more toys added to their collection. Each year the day after Thanksgiving we would go through their toys and purge. Many toys were given away in preparation for Christmas, while others were too far gone to hold onto and had to be thrown away.

With 1 kid I would probably still do the 3 toys but something like 1 big toy like a hotwheels track or train track. A complete set of vehicles or action figures to go with it and always books. We would also wrap clothes for Christmas too or even get him something fun like a sled or roller blades or a bike. Then 3 toys doesn't seem too few.

Yes my kids still received toys from other sources. Too many sources but I would intercept them and give those out throughout the year for good grades, helping around the house, birthdays, etc. Easily each kid would eventually end up with about 10 toys each which is why I would have to monitor the distribution. It could easily become overwhelming to them and some years it really did. Nothing worse that 3 or 4 of the kids having the Christmas meltdown at the same time.

Merry Christmas & great question.

UPDATED
Best Christmas gift the kids ever got was the year we got a new stove, they played with that box more than any of the toys they got that year. LOL. That box lasted about a month and a half but was well wore out when it had to be discarded. That box was their fort, castle, bus, car, truck, boat, etc. You name it and that box became it. They even took turns riding in the box down the stairs. Scary for me the so much fun for them. That was the year I could have saved my money on toys for them and just given them the box and they would have been just as happy.

We are very similar to you: we don't have family that gets our 2 and 5 year old gifts throughout the year or at holidays. (that's another Mamapedia discussion!) So they get gifts on their birthdays or like Easter or now for Christmas. We do this which could make your husband happy and you:

3 gifts under the tree every year: a want, a need and a read

BUT then Santa fills that stocking up with fun stuff: socks, toothbrush, chocolates, gloves, markers, etc.

I have so much fun shopping for the Santa stuff each year and then they don't think that mom and dad spoil them or to EXPECT as much.

Good luck! It was nice for me to read someone in a similar position.

Dear OneLittleBigBoy:

If it works for you, keep it modest. I struggle with materialism, and I'm afraid I'm losing the battle with my dear little four-year-old. Practically every other message children receive from the World Around Us is get-get-get. Especially during the holiday season. Personally, I have an awesome, far-flung, and generous family. I'll admit I'm a bit grinchy about family gifts, especially when I think of postage, packaging, and the accumulation of stuff. I try to follow the concept of clearing out before bringing in, but that doesn't always work.

I'm impressed by your practice of one birthday toy but not many new toys all year long. As I said, if it works for your family, keep the gifts to a minimum. Emphasize what you do together as a family. Maybe give your son a "coupon book." One coupon lets him pick a place to go for dessert; one coupon is for you or your husband to bake him his choice of a dozen cookies all for him; one coupon is for him to pick a day trip; etc.

Have a lovely Holiday Season!

My kids usually get at least 5 (usually more like 8 to 10), not including all the stuffing stuffers. Those are from Santa and mom & dad. They also get gifts from Aunts and grandparents.

Last year my son got more gifts then he had before cause it was his last year as an only child. My dughter was born in feb so this Christmas she will share Christmas. But he gets around 7 or 8 gifts from us, and 2 from Santa. My daughter is only getting 3 from us and 1 from Santa but she's only 10m so she won't care he got more.