How long should I dream feed my infant?

Updated on June 16, 2008
A.H. asks from Kennett Square, PA
20 answers

I have an 11 week old breast fed baby. Since we came home from the hospital, he has only woken once at night to eat. Typically around 3 a.m. So, I would feed him at 8 p.m., 11 p.m. and then he wakes on his own between 3 and 4. I've been waking him up at 11 to eat almost the whole time and I'm wondering if this is okay to continue. When he gets up at 3-4 he eats and goes right back to sleep. Earlier this week I thought I'd nix the 11 p.m. feeding and see what happened. He ate at 8 p.m. and then was up at 1 a.m. AND 3 a.m. Do you agree that until he starts to sleep through the 3 a.m. feed that I should just continue my 11 p.m. dream feed? It would be nice to see what others do. Thanks for your advice.

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Summary

Some moms believe you should let your child do as he needs to do as far as feeding and sleeping. If he's hungry he will wake to eat on his own. If you have to wake him he's not really hungry he's eating out of habit or because when you wake him he's a little hungry and your there. While some moms thinks there is nothing wrong with waking up your baby to nurse at night, so you can sleep with less interruptions. It will make for a happier Mom and thus a happier household.

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L.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I breast fed both my son & daughter, & I found that my daughter ate much more often. she was the 2nd child, and I worried that something might be wrong. But after I spoke to several Moms & my doctor, I realized that if she awoke then she was hungry, & if she did not awake this meant that she was most likely not hungry. I felt as though I was not feeding her enough- but I realized that she was healthy & this was the main point the physician made; she'll let you know, & she is a very healthy baby :) As Moms we worry-my babies are 13 1/2 & 15 1/2 now! I miss when they were babies!
I would do what feels right. This time goes so fast, & then they're all grown up.
I hope this helps :) Take care...

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D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Hello, I have to share with you. My now eight year old was sleeping through the night and I was so nervous about this that I would wake him in order to bresst feed him. My now eleven year old, who is quite tall and lean would eat CONSTANTLY! When I told the ped I was waking my baby to feed him, he stared at me like I was nuts. He joked about it and said don't do that. Bigger babies sleep through the night. My eight year old eats like a horse now. Blessings!

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K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

definatley stick w/ the 11pm wake-to-feed. it seems to be working...for now. i hope he continues to be a good eater and sleeper. but just beware he could just mix it all up for you one day. good luck and feel blessed.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a tenancy as a childcare provider to believe if you wake him to feed than you are teaching him to wake up. I think if you stopped waking him up you might have him waking up at 1am for a while and than at 3am but after a while he would nex one of them. The only reason he's waking now at 1am when you don't wake him is because he's used to eating. But after a while he would stop waking up because he really wouldn't need to eat he would just be waking out of habit.
I believe you should let your child do as he needs to do as far as feeding and sleeping. If he's hungry he will wake to eat on his own. If you have to wake him he's not really hungry he's eating out of habit or because when you wake him he's a little hungry and your there. I feel the same about a sleeping baby i NEVER wake a sleeping baby.

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R.T.

answers from Dover on

I personally would not wake him. There is a saying my mom used to tell me all the time which was to let a sleeping baby sleep.
Another reason you don't want to wake him is how will you know when he no longer needs that feeding between 8 & 3.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a Mom of three breast feed babies so I speak from experience. There is nothing wrong with you waking up your baby to nurse at 11 so you can sleep with less interuptions. It will make for a happier Mom and thus a happier household. Because "if Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy" :) I have woken up each and every one of my kids at some point or other to feed them at a better time for me. All kidding aside it is okay to wake up your baby to feed him, there will be times that it is nessacary to so be it to get more sleep consecutively, or because you have some where you need to go and it has been long enough but he hasn't woken up yet. Keep it up sounds like you are doing a great job!

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

It's actually not unheard of for babies to be sleeping almost through the night at this age. I actually trained my kids to sleep through (meaning 11ish to 6ish) by the time they were two months old. What your son is doing sounds completely normal and I wouldn't wake him to eat. If he wakes and needs to eat, feed him, but without ceremony and in the dark so that he's not stimulated and doesn't begin to learn that night time is awake time. At a certain point, you'll have to nix all night time feedings or they'll become a psychological habit. Talk to your pediatrician - see what s/he has to say. And don't worry. It'll all be good. :)

Enjoy that baby!

Jenny

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P.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I've breastfeed mine and all my kiddies (now 4, 3 & 1) started sleeping through the night (11PMish- 9AMish) before they were 4 weeks old- thankfully still doing so (but now it's more like 8PMish - 8AMish).

After they were 2 weeks old I stopped waking them up to breastfeed, and they just naturally took the night as sleep-time quite soon after!

I think the main concern here is keeping a steady weight and height gain, NEVER denying them when they are hungry at that young age, and making sure that they get a good amount of sleep.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi A.,

Getting a newborn on a schedule is work in itself. Keep the baby on the schedule that is easier for you.

Contact the La Leche League for support through your breast feeding time, it will help you along the way.

Their web address is: www.lllusa.org/VA/WebTidewaterVA

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

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K.C.

answers from Richmond on

My son did the same thin, at around 5 weeks I asked someone and they said "He IS sleeping through the night"... and to "let him sleep as long as he wants and when he wakes up to eat then feed him". So that is what I did... at 5 weeks he would sleep from about 10 - 3am and wake up every 2-3 hours after that.... so my suggestion would be st let him start setting his sleeping through the night times and you can start directing him towards a feeding schedule that will work better for him as he continues to grow.

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M.R.

answers from Roanoke on

I don't think I'd wake him to feed if he is gaining well, and making 7-8 wet/dirty diapers in a 24 hr period.

Now if he was sleeping for ultra long stretches at that age, say, over 8 hous, I'd wake to feed.

My best advice would be to feed on demand. La Leche League, The World Health Organization, and the AAP all advocate feeding when baby demands, rather than on a schedule. They will thrive better and it will keep up your supply longer.

I wanted to add... it is OK if you *want* to wake the baby at 11 to eat, in order to get less interruptions in your sleep, but my guess is, he won't wake twice for very long anyway.

Either way, sounds OK to me, don't worry about 'teaching bad habits' just do what feels right for YOU.

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Sounds like this is working well for now. My kids started to sleep through from 11-6:30 at around 3 and a half months. We kept the dream feeding until at around 6 months. At that point they started waking earlier and earlier as if we hadn't fed them at all. At that point I realized that they needed the sleep and we were messing up their sleep pattern by interrupting it. So just keep an eye out and if you are noticing that his morning waking is getting earlier and earlier it probably has to do with a too late bedtime or to disturbing their sleep later in the night.

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R.J.

answers from Norfolk on

I kept the 11pm feeding for quite a while (almost until 6 months). If you make sure he gets a really full feeding at the dream feed, he'll eventually skip the 3am feed.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i only fed when baby wanted to eat. no more no less. what ever time for however long. baby knows when she's hungry and you dont go and eat just because you did that day before you eat when your hungry.

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R.G.

answers from Norfolk on

From my own opinion i think its best to let your baby make his own schedule for now. 11weeks is still very young, he knows when hes hungry and when hes tired. You just have to suck it up as his mom, and wake up whenever he comes a calling. My son was the same way he didn't begin to sleep thru the night untill about 4 mos. Hes 7 1/2 now and he still wakes from time to time to feed. I breast fed up untill 7mos.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

If your so sleeps at night you are blessed! My son slept through the night when only two weeks old and ever afterwards. I nursed him at 9pm and he would sleep til 6 or 7 am. The first night he did so I woke up to check on him and worried he had died of sids. No, he was a very healthy, happy, growing boy. I had plenty of breast milk for him. I thanked God I could get my rest too. I would not wake your son to feed him. AF

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I say continue the dream feed. I'm in the same boat as you are with our 8 week old. From my experience with 2 kids, I would say at this age you only really get one long stretch of sleep per night then it's 2, 3 or 4-if you're lucky. I've tried to quit, but I just can't do it. One time I did, but just like your baby, he woke up more often and was harder to put back down after the 2nd wake up.

Good luck and make sure to post an update so I can find how it's going!

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K.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I dream feed and my baby is almost 1. I do it so I can be on a decent sleep schedule. If I drean feed him, he will slepp throgh the night great. If I dont then he is very restless from about 1am on, waking every 1 1/2 hours or so cause he cant find his pacifier.

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M.F.

answers from Norfolk on

I think I'd start trying to let him go through the feeding...he should be close to being able to sleep through the night by now, and by now he knows when he's hungry. And if you just gave him one chance without the 11pm feeding, he will take some time to make his own schedule. I'd also give him a chance to really wake himself up, too (if you don't already).

We used to put our daughter (almost 13 weeks) down at 10 or 10:30, but she was really fussy between 8 and 10, so we started putting her down at 8 or so (around 5-6 weeks of age). She'd go until 2am for a while, but then it got longer and longer. Now she usually sleeps for a minimum of 6 hours, and has gone as long as 9.5 hours. One of my friends said I should let her really wake up, instead of feeding at the first stirring...this has helped her go longer.

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A.R.

answers from Richmond on

Hi A.. I definitely agree that you should keep the 11:00pm feeding for a while (especially if he only wakes up once a night). But, if you keep him regularly scheduled he should be starting to sleep through the night any day now, and then the last feeding would be around 8:30p or 9:00p for a while until it gets to 7:00p-7:30p (like my 13 month old does now). If you like to be "fairly scheduled" with your baby I suggest that you read a GREAT book called "On Becoming Babywise". I read the book before my 1st one was born and it pretty much says "if you follow most of these things" your baby should be sleeping through the night by 8-9 weeks. I wanted to get my sleep again and the book made perfect sense to me. My first 2 were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and my 3rd one was a little later than the first 2....... I think she was more like 4 months or so????? But, I think there are some great tips in this book and you certainly don't have to follow everything in the book.
HOpe this helps!

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