How Long Is Too Long to Breastfeed?

Don't worry about what others will think. I let all my children wean when they were ready and I've never been sorry. Enjoy breastfeeding as long as you can!

Hi C.,

My name is Tricia and I'm also a nutritionist with an emphasis in early childhood nutrition. Let me start with commending you for nursing your child. Mother's milk is always by far the best option. I loved nursing my two children and I completely understand what you mean when you say that you will miss it! It's such a bonding thing!

At this point, however, it sounds like she is actually using nursing as a "comfort food". We all do that but we also need to learn not to use food as a means of comforting ourselves. Maybe buy her a new special stuffed animal and when she starts asking in public, hand that to her as tell her to love her bear or what ever you choose. Also, carry a cup with you and when she asks to nurse, hand her the cup. If she doesn't like the milk at first, try putting a little vanilla in it. That will enhance the flavor a little as breast milk has definitely got flavors depending on your diet. As she is now 15 months, weaning will be a little more difficult but the longer you go, the more difficult it will become. She may be a little demanding at first but the more you give in the worse the demanding will get. There is nothing wrong or bad about nursing this late but she is not really receiving any more nutrition at this point than she can get on her own with a balance diet. I would however, caution you strongly to stay away from juice. It's full of sugar and can encourage them to fill up on sugar instead of food. I actually recommend staying away from juice altogether. Teach them to get their fruit from the real thing and if they want something besided milk to drink, give them water. If they just don't like the water, you can try adding a very small amount of a sugar-free addative like Chrystal Light. Children do not get enough water. Then when you eat, offer her more food. She may not like something right away so don't ever force her to eat or try it but continue to offer it. Some children have to be offered something many times before they will develop a taste for it. Also, the more of a wide variety of things that they are offered, the more likely they will be to think these things are "normal" foods. Childen get stuck on food "jags" way too easily and since it's easy, parents tend to cater to their jags causing them to become picky eaters.

Cutting her off cold turkey will be hard on you both so maybe trying it in the day time and when you are out in public and saving the nursing for nap or bed time when you have the time to spend some extra special bonding time together.

Good luck and I hope that I've given you something that you can use! :)

I breastfed 2 of my 4 children until age two. With such a busy life I felt it was my time to sit down and enjoy some one on one time. Don't worry what other people might think, especially if this is going to be your only baby. You should do what YOU are comfortable doing. Your daughter won't remember whether you stopped breastfeeding at 15 months or two years. Stop when you are ready!!!

When your child can tell you that their friends think it is a little much!!! I can honestly say that I wouldn't care about what other people think. When you feel like it is time, then it is time.

I would say this to any one whether it is breast or bottle, when you and DD are ready quit that is when you should. Society puts to many time frames on when a baby, thats what she is, should give up the breast or bottle. Have you tried cutting out all other times except night and early morning? She won't starve herself if you offer a cup and nothing else she will get the hint eventually, you will just to make sure you are ready to make the change, offer her your milk in a cup every time you can switch to milk later there is no rush there. But if you aren't ready yet then my advice is to wait until you are. Good luck!

I'm glad your question is what's best for her. Good job, Mom! The AAP recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, and then as long as it is mutually desired. The AAP stands alone as a health organization recommending nursing for one year ... all the other health organizations say two years minimum. This is because many of the health benefits are dose responsive, meaning the longer the child breastfeeds, the healthier they will be. Many children wean between 2 - 3 years old.

It is normal for breastfed children to not like milk. When she finally weans, that may change. Also, we know that as a child moves torwards weaning and nurses less, the immunologic factors increase, protecting exploring toddlers from the germs around them. I disagree with another comment you received that there is little nutritional value--do your own research on that.

It's nice to have a code word for nursing, so when a little one tugs on your shirt you can say, "Yummy. Yes, you can have bees when we go home!" (we call nursing having bees--don't know where that came from!) And if you nurse in public, consider it a public service announcement. :)

Congrats on being a healthy, normal mom who's doing the right thing for her child! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends "exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child." All of my pediatricians have always recommended breastfeeding for as long as I was comfortable and happy doing it. It is the most nutritious food you can give your child, and if it comforts your child when she is tired, hurt, or cranky, then why take it away? Toddlers need a comfort item (stuffed animal, thumb-sucking, etc.). Why not breastfeeding? It's perfectly natural and normal to breastfeed at this age. Enjoy it while it lasts...she WILL want to wean eventually when she is ready. Good luck!

If you are still happy in the bf relationship - keep it up! I bf both my children for a while: my daughter til she was 22 months and my son til he was 15 months. Both times we quit b/c one of us was ready (with my daughter, it was me...my son pretty much was ready). Our society often gives the message that they shouldn't bf over a year (through subtle pressure, no manual) - but I have friends who go well over 2 years. It is TOTALLY NORMAL and the things you describe about your child (not taking bottles or milk etc) is completely normal. Both my kids refused bottles...even filled with breast milk. Keep going - its such an awesome relationship for physical and emotional health. PLEASE do not quit just because someone told you the child is too old. AND, I ask - why is it wrong for the child to look to the mother for comfort? That is the ultimate gift that you can give to your child. Just ask yourself - would you rather your child have your breastmilk that is specially formulated for her - that is shown to have nutritional benefits well into the 2nd and even 3rd year; or deny her that and give her nutritionally devoid options (chemicals, like Crystal Lite???)

Your daughter is only 15mo. old. I don't think you are anywhere near the mark where she is just too old. What do you call breast feeding? At my house it's niney and I've also heard susu. If you don't like her pulling on your shirt in public you can try to remind her to ask for it (using the code name) and hope she goes along with that, eventually. Everytime she pulls on your shirt gently remind her to use her words and ask.
Definantly breastfeed as long as you are still comfortable. Also make sure you know where the nearest breastfeeding friendly place where she can grab a snack if you are uncomfortabe just plopping down anywhere. I use Gap kids and babies r us a lot, because they have rooms especially for nursing. Any dressing room works, though.
Personally, I think that the age when I see a kid and think eeek, is roughly 3. But that doesn't mean you can't still bf at home or in public if you are still comfortable.
A lot of times by 3 they have weaned themselves.

Good Luck and great job doing whats best for your little girl.

Hi, C.,
I breastfed my son until he was 21 months old and would have continued longer but I had to go out of town for a week for a business trip and didn't have a pump any more. I would have breastfed him longer otherwise. We did keep it in the house however after about 18 months because he was so big and mobile (30lbs plus on breastmilk only!) and it was awkward.

I'm more concerned about your child not drinking anything out of a cup. My son started in day care at 17 months parttime because I had to go back to work and he needed to drink milk and juice during the day. Have you discussed that part of things with your pediatrician? As long as the doctor is okay with solely breastfeeding, then I wouldn't worry about anything. I would agree with others that have suggested a polite ritual for you and your child to request feeding and move away from others to maintain a comfort level for everyone present. I always breastfed in public, but put a blanket or cloth over my shoulder for example.

take care, S.

Hi C.,

Just wanted to throw my two cents in. I belong to a moms group here in the springs called Westside Moms ( www.westsidemoms.org ). Its a great group and there are so many wonderful women there. Now that being said, most of the women there believe in extended breastfeeding and child lead weaning. I'm not much for an extended breastfeeding. I weaned my first at 15 months because she was just comfort nursing at night...every 2 hours. My second is 13.5 months old and starting to wean herself.

Many of the moms there though, like I said believe in extended breastfeeding. Many moms have nursed their kids until they were 3 even 4. The average age in the world (not just underdeveloped countries) to wean is 4.

Breast is best. Cows milk is actually a high allergen for people so if you are giving her breast milk and thats all she wants, shes going to be one healthy kid indeed. My daughter has a dairy intollerance so she gets rice milk when we dont nurse. We tried goats milk which is very close to breastmilk and is very easy to digest. However, it has a VERY grassy flavor. My daughter just couldnt get the hang of it. There is also raw cows milk which is really yummy! Its not pasturized or homogenized and if you can get it, its loaded with vitamins and nutrients. I hear they have a pretty long waiting list at the various farms around town though.

If you want to come to a place where there are many moms with older kids nursing... in public... come to a Westside Moms playgroup. That is most definately the one place I have never felt shy to nurse in public!

Also we have a La Leche Group Leader (as well as Doulas) on the board as well, so if you have any questions, Laura would definately be able to answer them. Not only is she a wealth of information, she also has many resources that she can point you too.

And really, never feel shy about nursing! So what if other people have issues with it, thats their hang ups. You know you are doing the best thing for your daughter, and if you and she want to continue then do so. I could just go on and on about our society and its views toward breastfeeding. But I will spare everyone. :)

~~K.~~

I hear you on wishing there was a manual!

I have a 21 month old, my first, who is still nursing. Obviously I don't have things down, but I limit her to a few times a day. If she wants to nurse, I just tell her it is not time for that now, but she can have that at nap time (or bedtime, or whatever you have decided). That is one way of cutting back, if you desire to do so. Distraction also works pretty well! My daughter likes drinking from a straw much better than a sippy. It requires more supervision, but that is another way to help get her to drink other than nursing. Hope that helps.

C.,
I think if you can trust both of you to find the time that is right for weaning, you will be doing both of you a huge favor. As long as you are still enjoying it and she still benefits from nursing, I say keep it up! I nursed my first daughter until she was almost 3 and my second daughter is 2 1/2 and still going strong. We did establish some ground rules to make it easier, like limiting our nursing in public. While I am proud of my nursing relationship with both of my kids, it just becomes a drag to deal with all the freaks out there that don't get it. You never see someone gawking and shaking their heads to see a toddler sucking his/her thumb, do you? Well, nursing provides even better comfort than a thumb plus the benefit of nutritional support as well. Your milk may be even more nutritious now than it was when your child was an infant. Nursing is a wonderful way to fill in the nutritional gaps that a busy toddler lifestyle can make in their diet. Also, most of the challenges of the terrible twos are easier to deal with when the child is still nursing. They are trying so hard to become independent, and it can be overwhelming. I have found it beneficial to both mom and child to be able to reconnect with nursing. I strongly urge you to continue nursing as long as you are both enjoying it. It is a special time that in retrospect will probably seem fleeting in your child's life. If you are worried about nay-sayers and the none-of-their-business questions about "just how long you're going to nurse that child?", I like to tell my in-laws that we're looking at local colleges, just in case...:) that usually ends the conversation!
Good luck to both of you from a long-time nursing mom who's still going strong!!!!

My little one is 16 months old and is still nursing too! She eats regular meals now as well, has been for some time. I am wondering when she will be weaning but am not in any hurry. She is my 8th. My 1st weaned early - around 8 months - I think mostly due to misinformation . . . . . After that experience I decided to ditch all the "advice" and nurse my babies on demand from now on. So, my 2nd baby took advantage and nursed until she was 2 and a half years old - I actually started having little conversations about it with her because I had another little one on the way. I was still ok with nursing her and may not have nudged her off, but, I wasn't going to nurse 2 babies and I didn't want conflicts close to the birth. And she adjusted just fine - the talks seemed to help her understand and accept it. With the next babies I looked for windows of opportunity and then started the weaning process anytime between 12 months and about 18 months.
If you are comfortable nursing than just keep it up because when it's over it's over . . . and it WILL happen, don't worry about that. One thing you can do to start the adjustment is to try different things before it occurs to her to *want* to nurse. One example: one of my babies was brought into my bed each morning to nurse (by one of the big kids) so I started getting out of bed before they came in. Since I wasn't there, they brought her down to her highchair to have breakfast. The first 2 days were funny because she had a funny look on her face, like she was missing something. It wasn't totally over with that change, but it was a start.
Anyway, I don't know what is too long. I never nursed any of my babies past 2 1/2 years. As for my 16 month old - I still nurse her where and whenever we need to. I don't feel uncomfortable about it and I don't care about who is around. We are not flashers, we are somewhat private about it but I am not uncomfortable about it. I've also never had the unfortunate experience of anyone being rude to us.
About nutrients: I think nature is already taking its course. When babies have teeth it's time for chewing and gaining nutrients this way. Although, I'm sure there are still benefits, the main nutritional benefit has been served for that tender newborn. Your baby should get all she needs from good wholesome nutrition. Just try to stay away from processed foods and she doesn't need juice either.
Hope some of this helps a bit.

My two both weaned themselves. One at 8 months the other at 10 months. I don't think you have a nutrition issue but sounds more like a comfort issue, that could go on for awhile. I too was sad when they no longer wanted that bonding time. But I believe there are other ways to bond with your baby. Both my girls were also off the bottle by 12 months. Maybe try breast milk in a regular cup and give her that option. It will teach her more independence and may be exciting to try something new. Good luck.

The most up to date advice from the AAP and WHO is to nurse into the second year. The world wide average to end is 4 years. I am a fan of letting the child self ween and all the moms that I know who have done this have children weening from 10 months to 4 years(yes, here in CO). If it is not working for you then I am a Dr. Sears advocate, change what does not work, but if it is working than know that you are not alone(I tandem nurse a 3 1/2 year old and her 18 month old brother). I was sure they would self ween long ago but am thankful I can provide the nurturing and nutrition. Long term breastfeeding has been shown to have long term heart health benefits and as both grandfathers have heart disease I figure it is the least I can do for the lousy genetics. Not to mention the long term benefits for me, smile.

From what you are saying, I don't think there is any reason to give up breastfeeding any time soon! Breastfeeding is a great way for you and your daughter to bond, and some babies really do need that closeness! Remember, it's only in our Western Culture that breastfeeding a child past a year is considered weird.

Besides blowing off what other people think, maybe you could establish a way to get past the moment in public. You could still nurse in the privacy at home, but when you're out you could do something else. I know she's young, but some kiddos at that age would be able to understand that this is something just for at home. Sorry, I don't have any specific ideas, except maybe her favorite food.