How Long?

I skimmed the other responses, but I really feel like what you need right now is POSITIVE encouragement!!! I went through the same thing with my son when he was that age, and it seemed that nothing I did changed his "sleep schedule." At his age, he wasn't even going to bed for the night until 4am!!! I was SOOOOOO exhausted! The upside is that it truly doesn't last forever, even though that's how you're feeling now! On the heels of that, please be aware of the state of mind that your exhaustion is creating. I know it doesn't happen to everyone, but I fell into postpartum depression and didn't recognize it, which made everything that much worse!!

As far as producing enough milk, it sounds like you're doing great! I mean, holy cow!! You can pump 5-8 oz/session!! That's AWESOME! As far as feeding length goes, every baby is different. It's not that he's lazy, that's just how he feeds, and that's OK!

I do agree with a few other posts about his gassiness being caused by something in YOUR diet. Pay special attention to what you eat in the hour or so before bed. Dairy (primarily milk) is usually the biggest culprit, but other foods like broccoli, cauliflower, and even green peppers can cause infant gas. I also had this issue with my son, and as soon as I switched from skim milk to Lactaid, things got SO MUCH BETTER!

For the most part, your son sounds normal!!! It sounds like things are going great, but if you have questions and/or concerns, feel free to call Nursing Mothers Counsel. We're here for mothers just like you, and we provide free one-on-one counseling. Feel free to contact me directly at ____@____.com or call our hotline at (650) 327-MILK. Congratulations on your son and your decision to breastfeed!!

You seem to have gotten a lot of advice and encouragement already (especially in regards to ignoring your MIL), so I hope I am not repeating. To help my kids get on track with day vs. night sleeping, I followed the advice to get outside and in the sunlight in the morning to cue the baby to the fact that it was active time. It discouraged as many catnaps, and after about a week I got my son turned the right way (instead of wanting to play at 2 in the morning). Best wishes!

some kids are more efficient than others with feeding. kids are different. tell your MIL to stop comparing, or she will drive you nuts from now until eternity. my son didn't get efficient and down to 15 minutes until he was almost 6 months. he just liked to suck! he had marathon sessions and my mother kept bugging me about the same thing.

one good way to respond is to say, "I have discussed this with the pediatrician and he/she assures me there are no problems."

Of course, the MIL or mom can always retort, "These *new* doctors don't know anything and you need a new doctor!"

you can't win. I'd just tune her out. Why on earth would she speculate your baby is not getting enough milk if he's gaining weight and otherwise healthy? Poo her.

Hang in there A.! I have breast fed four kids and they were all different. My youngest will be 2 1/2 next week and STILL breastfeeds. I always said Never, how silly of me. My first was easy, my second was a snacker and thus a short napper. My third was easy and my fourth? Goodness, he is definitely my most challenging in every aspect! Your staple answer to your MIL's comments could be "I'll definitely take that into consideration" and then throw it out of your head. You can give her a mental raspberry too if it makes you feel better! My youngest had the gas problem after nursing as well and it took me a bit to connect it to artificial sweeteners. If I had a diet soft drink or something he would pay the consequences. We still have to make sure he doesn't get aspartame (it's in so many sugar free things!) It just wreaks havoc with his belly. Just a thought! As I said before, hang in there!

what if you just let him sleep with you?
You will be getting more sleep, he will be happier, and therefore getting more sleep...

We are the only mammals (an probably one of the only cultures) that do not sleep with our babies... maybe there's a reason mammals and most humans throughout history have slept with their babies?...???
just a thought

Keep going Mama!!!! You've got all the right ideas, just keep it up! It's hard to remember that these times will pass (more quickly than you think when you look back!) As for the sleeping in the bed, those sleep patterns you've described take me back to the early infant stages. Expecting a one as little as 3 months, while mainly breastfeeding through the night is a bit unrealistic. Because they eat more often they will wake up more frequently. As a breastfeeding mama, I wasn't too keen on that myself and started supplementing with bottles sooner that I'd originally wanted to with the hope to gain a few more hours of sleep--- didn't happen. So bring your little one to bed with you. Once he's older, you can then deal with making the trasition to him sleeping solely in his own bed. You can do that when YOU'RE ready, and you'll know when it's time to let him fuss through the tough spots.

As for the snacking and not producing enough milk..... I love that outsiders feel like they have a sense of what your body is doing!! Stick with your gut, if your little guy is eating, sleeping, and pooping, you've got it made!! My children were both "snackers", eating every 2 hours or so, but my son was a much more efficient eater than my daughter. My daughter would nurse for up to 30-45 minutes making it only like 45 minutes before it was time to start again!!! My son on the other hand, would nurse for about 5-8 minutes and be done!! Do what feels right to you, you know your body and you know your son.
I guess what I'm saying is to trust your instinct. Receiving unsolicited advice from others is, unfortunately, a part of mother hood, so practice a sweet, "thanks for your input" and go on with what your son needs, from you!!

Good luck!!

Hello- I'm sure you produce plenty of milk which is great. I do find that a lot of my friends that solely breast fed have run into this problem. From the book, "Baby Whisperer" the author recommended a "dream feed" in his/her sleep right before you put them to bed. If you don't want to supplement with formula then how about pumping your milk to see how much you get and give the baby this feeding in his sleep right before you put him down so you can see how much milk you're giving him and how much he takes in. This will also allow you to see if he is taking in air. If he does get gassy, I've used Mylicon drops which helped. If you do express your milk, you can use a Gerber "Colicky" nipple to help reduce air intake trying to eliminate gas. This way you can ensure how much he is getting right before bed and hopefully this weill ensure he sleeps through the night. Hope this helps.

I wanted to respond to you because it made me happy to feel the commitment you have to breastfeeding and finding a happy balance for you and baby. All babies are different and have different needs. My son wanted to be in bed with us and wouldn't feel comfortable unless he was right next to me. My daughter is fine being in bed with me or on her own. Just different personalities. You will just have to work on finding something that fits for you and baby, and you'll have to find that on your own. I did want to comment on the "snacker" thing though. My son was gassy too and I was told it was colic. I restricted my diet, gave him colic homeopathy, vigilantly burped him, etc, etc, etc. Nothing worked until he outgrew it. But when my daughter was born I read a breastfeeding book by Jack Newman who said that new research shows that babies who "snack" are more suspectble to gas because they are getting more of the foremilk and less of the protein rich hind-milk. Since you may not be able to change your babies eating patterns he suggests feeding on the same breast for 2 or 3 feedings to ensure the baby is getting a mix of both milks. Also, the hindmilk is thicker and more filling. It may help fill his belly more and hopefully sleep longer periods. (You have probably felt that let-down when the hormones kick in and your milk comes out stronger; thats the hindmilk) Good luck and enjoy this time. Even if this doesn't help he should outgrow the gassiness pretty soon.

Hi A.,

I am not a Mom, not because I don't want to be, but because I can't be. However, I am lucky to have known, loved, and cared for many babies and children, and their families through my chosen profession.

What you are describing is very normal. There is nothing wrong with you or your baby, and I would encourage you to trust yourself, and your intuition. Do what you feel is right for yourself and your baby, and don't listen to any naysayers.

I am working with a family right now that just went through exactly what you are describing about two months ago. The baby is now almost 5 months old, and he is thriving, and is a good sleeper- he goes to sleep peacefully on his own in his crib (after having co-slept for the first 4 months),for naps and the night.

He takes two, 2-3 hour naps a day, and wakes once or twice in the night to eat.Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time for babies to "settle" and regulate their systems.Every baby is a little different. Your baby is still very young, and it's too early for him to develop any bad habits yet.

I am going to recommend a book that I refer to as my "bible" because it has helped me in my work and has been so helpful to every family that has ever embraced it.

It is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Doctor Marc Weissbluth, and it's available everywhere! Your library will have a copy.There is a large section devoted to breastfeeding, and exactly the questions you are asking.

Wishing you all the best, L.

The term "snacker" comes from Tracy Hogg's book, which happens to have terrible breatsfeeding advice.

See: http://www.kellymom.com/store/reviews/review_babywhispere... for a review.

The longer your breastfeed, the more hind milk your baby gets. Hind milk keeps your baby fuller longer. Babies also nurse for comfort, so you can't lose with a longer nursing session.

You know what's best for your baby. Your MIL comparing you to other people she knows is inaccurate, judgmental, and not applicable because some babies are faster eaters than others. Your MIL has never breastfed. Take your advice from La Letche League or other helpful sources instead!

Aaaah! Poor you! Don't listen to your MIL. You have plenty of milk. You do whatever you think is right. I know that my first baby was the same way, and was gasses when she nursed more. It helped to have my husband get up at least once a night to soothe her back to sleep without nursing. Break for me, not so gassy for her. Good luck! This too will pass.

Hi A. - Listen to your own intuition - your mother in law may have your best interest in mind, but she does not know what she is talking about. Let her help you do the laundry or cook dinner or something, but leave what is best for your baby to yourself. Your baby does not nurse too long. And it definitely sounds like you are producing enough milk. Every baby has a different personality. - and if he is not sleeping well, it could be that, or it could be something you are eating that he is not tolerating well. Also - there are a lot of changes the first year - just when you think you understand what schedule your baby is on, it changes. He might need to transition to sleep less during the day, and more at night - and it may have nothing to do with his food. Just experiment and trust yourself - !

I haven't read any of your responses yet, because I felt the need to respond. I have a five month old boy and recently went through what you are experiencing. It will get better in the next couple of months. I feel like I don't produce enough milk for my little guy either. My dr. told me that we produce the most milk within the first 5-7 min. of breastfeeding - so he suggested feed for the 5-7 min on each breast and then offer a couple oz. of formula if he wants more. Hang in there it does get a little easier.

Hi A.,
I swear I could have written your post when my oldest was a baby! She was a total snacker and wanted to be fed every 45 minutes - 1 hour ALL NIGHT LONG! Miserable, huh? I got so exhausted with her that I asked a friend of mine (who has 4 of the most perfect kids ever) how on earth she did it. She told me to read the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo, and I swear to you right now that that book SAVED ME. He addresses the "snacking" issue and it's a very quick read.

To give you the Reader's Digest version, basically he suggests that you need to start your day with a feeding, and then a few hours later, put the baby down for a nap. He'll wake up hungry - feed him to his heart's content, burp him really well, etc. Then he stays awake for a few hours, and gets put down for nap #2. He'll awake from that nap hungry - feed him. Keep this ~4-hour cycle going until you get to night time. Feed him for the last time, give him his bath, then put him to bed (DO NOT let him fall asleep while nursing - because he'll only snack and won't get full all the way!). If you can get him on a decent daytime schedule, and put him down super early for bed (like 6-6:30pm), I promise you he'll sleep better at night. I did this with my younger daughter and she started sleeping through the night WAY earlier than my older daughter (at 5 weeks, vs. 1 year old for my older one!!)

So yes, ignore your mother in law. She's not being helpful. Give Babywise a try if you think it could help you. Hang in there, he won't be little forever! =)

My daughter was the same way. She nursed a long time - at least 1 hour! I also questioned it but my pediatrician says every child is different and to just enjoy that time. So I accepted the fact that my baby takes a long time to nurse and during that time, I would read a book or watch TV. Instead of getting frustrated, I just enjoyed holding my baby. She also nursed often. I remember at 3 months, she nursed almost every hour, sometimes every 30 minutes. My baby went through a growth spurt at that time. So again, I just went with the flow and enjoyed my time with my baby. I know it may seem really hard right now. But you will be fine. Hang in there. Cherish this time because it flies by too quickly! I'm sending you a big hug!

Hey A. - I have an 11 week old, and I really only feed her for about 7 - 10 minutes on each side. My Dr. told me that babies get 90% of the milk in the first 5 minutes. My daughter also sleeps through the night thanks to the steps I used from the book "Babywise" - I used it w/my last 2 children, and I have to say that IT WORKS!! They have advice for getting them on a schedule, and information as to why you want to do that. Although at first it was a little bit hard, it's definately worth it. I couldn't find my copy of the book, and finally got one when my daughter was around 5 weeks old. I have to tell you it made all the difference in the world! Within 3 days she was sleeping a 5 hour stretch at night, and now she sleeps 10 - 11 hours at night! Before that she was doing the same as your baby and I was exhausted. Good Luck ~ I know it is difficult and sometimes frustrating, but just remember that this is just a phase and pretty soon, you'll be missing this time in his life.

Hi A.,
It seems that by the previous responses you should be assured you don't have a milk issue and your MIL doesn't know all and has no tact.
I will tell you about my experience and hopefully it will help you.
My baby was born 9 lbs and required lots of milk and fed often ( I always fed on demand until solids at 5 months and then I started a feeding schedule). I had a c-section (thank goodness) so lifting her out of the crib was difficult, even the cradle was hard since getting out of bed wasn't easy either. So I opted to let her sleep with me. It helped me get better sleep and I was assured the Baby was fine. Plus night time feedeing went well and got shorter since she knew I was there. She only fed every two hours and then progressively got longer in between feedings. Originally I was dead set against co-sleeping, but Mamasource helped me feel ok about giving in (especially after the c-section).
I ignored everyone advice as to how I was "Spoiling" the baby. I just didn't fight my baby.
I decided one day last month to see if she would stay in her crib (she is now 8 months) and I set up a "bed-time routine". Ever since the fist night, she stayed and slept all night. She did toss and turn a bit and at times she crys a little but she falls right back to sleep. I just got up to check on her but I never entered the room except once and I did not offer the boob. I just rocked her back to sleep. It is still this way and now I just listen at the baby monitor.
Nothing is 100% all the time, but she and I learned she no longer needs milk in the middle of the night and that if she really needs me I will be there. I actually haven't brought her back into my bedroom once since I moved her into her crib.
I hope you can find a good solution, but I just wanted you to know that so-sleeping isn't all that bad. I actually am glad I did it. It helped me bond with the baby. I actually miss her some nights.
Good luck! Whatever you do will be fine and don't torture yourself. Just try to get the best quality of sleep. It worked for me!
BTW, I used a pacifier at night when I knew she wasn't eating anymore but still wanted the boob in her mouth and it helped. It was a good transitional object and she stopped using it at 5 months. Maybe he just wants to be pacified and isn't as hungry.

Definitely don't listen to your mother in law. It sounds like you are producing more than enough. I'd say if you are really concerned, see a lacatation consultant or go to a LLL meeting and get an opinion that's more informed. My baby took a half hour to breastfeed, and a friend of mine's baby takes an hour! Every baby is different. Your baby's sleeping schedule sounds like mine around that age, and it did get better. Good luck!

Don't worry. You're doing just fine. I have a 3.5 month old who has turned out to be a "snacker". I just feed her on demand and she'll feed anywhere from 10 mins. to 30 mins. Sometimes she wants one breast, sometimes she wants both.

Don't pay attention to your MIL. All babies are different and it's not fair for her to compare your babies to someone else's or even to compare siblings!

Also, I seem to recall that 3 months is a "growth spurt" time when babies seem to want to eat all the time, so maybe in a few weeks he'll settle down to sleep better.

Keep up the good work!

First of all, your MIL needs to stop giving you advice--especially about breastfeeding since she has never done it, but even if she had, she might not remember all the details and her experience might not carry over since all babies are different. It is hard enough to manage the first few months without having people telling you stupid stuff. ;) Next time she offers her opinion, tell her politely but firmly that you are doing just fine and that breastfeeding is different for every baby.

As long as your baby is gaining weight and growing, then you are doing it right. Frequent feedings are healthier for the baby and help with milk production over the long term. Some babies like to eat fast and are done, some seem to really like nursing and take their time. My little one would nurse 15 mins on each side almost every time he nursed. (Yes, I did feel like I was nursing all the time for the first few months).

About the sleep stuff, it is okay to take your baby to bed with you for night feedings and even to fall asleep with him in your bed. Just be sure to put your baby to sleep in his own bed at bedtime, so that he gets used to sleeping on his own. As he sleeps better and longer, he will be in your bed less. Also, don't worry about nursing him to sleep for naps, bedtime, etc. The important thing is to get him to sleep. However you can do it will work just fine and won't teach him that is the only way to sleep.

The wakings are maddening, but will probably improve soon. If you think he is gassy, try to avoid eating the most common problem foods (broccoli, cabbage, any tomato red sauce, citrus, and dairy) and see if that helps. Also try some of the gas relieving positions (bending legs up to chest, holding baby laying on his tummy over your hand so you can put mild pressure on his tummy).

I also really recommend reading Dr M Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was a lifesaver for me.

it may be what you are eating . maybe you could keep a dietary diary it could help . sometimes if start eliminateing foods you could find that certain thing you eat that my bother him. also sometimes after feeding when you go to lay he down you could warm the bed frist. I used to have a swing that the baby could lay down in and the motion helped my daughter to sleep. the lenght of time you are nursing him sounds good every baby is different. Hang in there its not you . some people start a little rice ceral for the last feeding of the day about one tablespoon mixed with brest milk and given with a spoon . well hope you get some sleep S..

My son was the exact same! It wasn't a milk issue as we decided to try some formula and he was the same. Around 3 1/2 months we started a form of sleep training which made a huge difference for sleep at night and his overall disposition. Much happier! He was a super long eater (an hour) and that didn't change until he was 6 months old. I don't think you are doing anything wrong and I don't think it is your milk. You just have a tough baby. It will be better soon! Just stick with it!

Your mother-in -law is steering you in the wrong direction. You are probably producing enough milk. That is not the problem - your baby is just a lazy nurser. It happens all of the time and is quite common. Please cut yourself some slack.

So now...what do you do? My advice is that you need to teach your baby that when it is feeding time , it is feeding time. it will be much harder on you that on him.

Just because you are breast feeding, doesn't mean you have to be a human milk machine for 24 hours a day. When you are nursing and he thinks he is done or falls asleep, flick the bottoms of his feet to keep him interested or awake. It will not hurt him at all and it is just a way to let him know that feeding time is not over. it may take time , but it will work.

Secondly, please do not call a lactation specialist. They mostly will sound like your mother-in -law and will try to make you feel baly and like you are doing something wrong.

Lastly, if you start bringing the baby into your bed, he will never learn self-soothing.

Good Luck and God Bless,
B.

Remember that our children learn what we teach them and you do not want to teach him that you are a human milk machine for 24 hours a day. He will learn.

First of all, NEVER take breastfeeding advice from someone who hasn't done it themselves successfully. They have no clue!
Secondly, your baby sounds like all three of mine. I was very tired, too, and I also didn't want to get into the "habit" of having them in bed with us. What I would do is always put them down in their crib first, and only bring them to bed with me if they were really awake and ready to nurse. That way I could be somewhat more rested but the baby never got into the habit of going to sleep with us. The routine was always to go to sleep in their own crib (usually after a bath and a nursing.) My husband and I had our alone time for about half the night, and I certainly didn't mind waking up to a smiling little baby face cuddled up next to me (now with a 16, 13 and 10 year old I REALLY miss that!)
Good luck, I know it's hard! Try to sleep during the day as much as you can. Even a 15 minute cat nap can do wonders :)

Hi A., you have plenty of milk--please do not worry about that! And it is normal for babies to breast feed up to 40 minutes in the beginning, probably more like 30 minutes around 3 months of age. Not all do, but certainly normal! I breastfed both of my girls (who are both adopted). And they would have sucked for ever! I always timed it--20 mins. per side in the beginning, then 15, then 10 as they got older.

Neither one was/is a great sleeper. Some babies just don't sleep. My first daughter has a real sleep disorder--now diagnosed as Sensory Integration Disorder and ADHD. She was awake for hours and hours almost every night starting around 6 months of age. Around age 2 things slowly started to improve (with the help of acupuncture and herbs). She is 5 now and still has nights where she is awake for hours. We did not co-sleep with her, although we would have been willing if it had helped, but it actually made it worse.

My 16 mo. old has also been a lousy sleeper, although we've never suspected a neurological problem like with our older daughter. But for the first 6 months she only slept on top of me, literally. If I moved her even a little, she woke up. We planned for her to sleep in a cosleeper, but she just wouldn't sleep. So she slept with us, and still does. When it comes to sleep, I'm a believer in whatever works. And since nothing worked with our first kid, I was happy to find ANYTHING that worked with baby #2. As it turns out, I love co-sleeping and now have no plans to move her to her own bed, however I think it would probably be possible now if we wanted to.

Also, there have been times when our youngest nursed every hour or so all night--miserable! This didn't start until she was older, and seemed to have to do with separation and/or teething issues. Since she turned 1, she is sleeping much better overall, although any teething/cold etc. means sleepless nights for us.

Sleep deprivation is torturous. I know. Hang in there, it will get better!

My girls are older now but when they were young like yours, I ended up bringing them into bed with us. My first child woke up every 2hours as a baby and I would nurse her to go back to sleep. It helped me with my sleep A LOT! Then when I was pregnant with my 2nd (they are 20 months apart in age), we put the first into a big girl bed when I got too pregnant big and I nursed my 2nd in my bed as well. It turned out to be the BEST idea ever! They just went into their own beds naturally when they were still babies....they are secure and confident and wonderful girls. I think we are so hung up on worrying that our kids will never get out of our beds that we push them away, right away.
Everyone produces a different amt of milk. And there is no one right way. I could never have pumped much milk but my girls were always fed well. Babies will finish nursing when they are done. (and full). I also nursed about 2 years with each. And of course they had solid food at about 6 months (prunes, peas etc). Later for meats. You are feeding the BEST food in the world to your baby with breastmilk.
Enjoy the closeness you have with your baby now. And try not to listen to your MIL. She doesn't sound like she knows much about it and expects you to be cookie cutter. You kids are your babies and love them, hold them close and they will be more confident adults because of it!
L.

I feel for you, it's so tiring and then takes so much energy to fend off a mother in law. My daughter often nursed for 45 minutes at a time, easily--I wasn't aware there was a time limit! They are all unique, those babies. Mothers in law on the other hand seem to often share some traits in common, such as meddling and giving unhelpful "advice". Obviously you know your body and that milk is not a problem. Perhaps your husband could have a talk with your MIL about the difference between support and undermining.

It's sort of an open secret that babies, especially gassy ones, sleep more soundly on their stomachs. (I know I sleep better that way and don't feel gas pain). As you may know from having older children that was the dr. recommended sleep position until the mid-90s SIDS scare. Since your babe is with you in the bed he'll follow your breathing pattern no matter what position he's in, so I'd try the stomach down position for him and see if it helps.

Good luck.

Hi A.,

Tell your mother-in-law to go jump in a lake! Really, how can anyone tell a mother that she is breastfeeding incorrectly? Geez! Sounds like you have PLENTY of milk. And there's no way a baby is going to be sucking air from breastfeeding.

I wonder if your baby is having some kind of food allergy that is making him gassy? Have you asked your pediatrician?

I just wanted to give you some encouragement. Hope this works itself out and that you can all get some sleep!

H.

Oh A., your doing fine. Every baby is different, every mommy is different, breast feeding takes months to settle out. I breast fed 3 children fully until 15 months to 2.5 years. One baby took 15-20 minutes and he was done (and I could tell he sucked me dry ;> and one baby ate leisurly for 45 minutes...he just liked to be held and eat his meals slowly - he still does that at 7) All three babies ate very different until well after 4 months (even after 4 months, but things got easier for me then).

If you are tired, you could try stretching babies feeding time first 10 minutes and then a little longer and keeping him awake more during the day...it will make your days a bit harder, then try to let him cry at night a bit (very hard, which is why I just took them to bed - but that is not for everyone, I just figured we would both sleep better and be happier and I would worry about moving them later - worked fine for me, but that is a decision for you AND hubby) you could also let hubby offer a water bottle at night, and settle him...there are so many ways - you need to let your mommy gut make decisions. Love your mother-in-law, but don't let her make you feel bad, she is just trying to help you - seeing that you are so tired.

Breast feeding is work, and well worth it. I never felt like I got it figured out until I was well into the 4th month with each of my children. My first baby ate every 2 hours around the clock - no matter what I did (he still wakes up starving at 12yrs old) he also would move agressively every 2 hours on the clock when I was pregnant - so I know it is just "who he is" not anything I did. Every baby is different, and we just have to get to know each other and figure out what works (enjoy as much time as you can, this time goes so very fast - rest and nap with baby when you can as well, if at all possible).

You are doing wonderful momma - keep it up, and enjoy as much as you can, once this time si gone you will wish for it back when they are teenagers!

D.

Ok, first of all, your mother in law has no business giving you advice if she has never breastfed. All babies are different and it sounds like your baby, like mine, is a little "higher needs" than most. My son nursed 20-30 minutes at a time until he got older. He was very similar to your baby. So out of desperation at 3 months old, I started swaddling him in the Miracle Blanket. The first night I used it he slept 5 hours. I highly recommend this product. It's the only thing they can't wiggle out of. We kept swaddling him at night til almost 6 months, then gradually transitioned to a blanket wrapped more & more loosely until he didn't need it anymore.

We did let him sleep in our bed after that first stretch, though. I needed my sleep and it was worth it. My husband was ok with it as long as we had the bed to ourselves for the first half of the night. Some of our sweetest memories are all waking up in the bed together on a weekend morning. He turned 2 yesterday and has been sleeping through the night in his own bed for the last 6 months, so it's not a habit that can't be broken. Until a week ago I was still nursing him to sleep but he has even outgrown that now.

I hope you find something that works. Don't let your mother-in-law get to you. It's YOUR baby!

Hi A.! I have a two month old. He started out being a snacker. He would eat every 1-1.5 hours. It was driving me crazy. Then I realized that he wasn't getting the hindmilk. He would come off the breast after getting the formilk, burp and then i'd put him on the other side. My son is also very gassy as well. I found that if I put him up to burp the first time he came off the breast and then put him back on the same side again he would get the hindmilk and not be as gassy and also go longer between feedings. The hind milk is the fatty milk and also helps promote sleep.

Your baby might be getting both the fore and hind milk and still just be a snacker. Some kids are just like that. One way to make sure he is getting the hind milk is to try to hand express to see if there is anything left after your baby comes off the breast on his own. If by hand expressing once or twice you get a spray of milk, he has not drained you and gotten the hind milk. This is when I put my baby back on the same breast to finish up. It seems that my baby needs to burp often because he is so gassy. I've been to lactation consultants and they say our latch is fine, they don't know why he needs to burp so much. But since I've started doing this he is doing much better. This has worked for me, I don't know if it will work for you, but anything is worth a try right?

Another thing I found with my son and sleeping at night is that he likes to be swaddled very tight. We also use a sleep positioner so I can put him on his side with out worrying about him rolling over. When he gets a gassy bubble that causes him to fuss, he can't move and flail his arms about or kick his legs enough to fully wake up. He just squirms until he settles back down. I'm in the process of trying to move him out of my room, because i tend to pick him up before he needs it and pull him into bed with me. His little noises wake me up and I'm so tired I don't really wait to see if he'll settle down by himself. So I'm hoping that if he is in his own room I won't hear the noises unless he really needs me to get him.

I know you've gotten a lot of advice already. Take it all with a grain of salt. You are the mom and you ultimately know what is right for your baby. Good luck, I hope you find something that will help.

Hi A.,
If your baby is gaining weight and healthy, you're producing plenty of milk. The duration it takes for him to nurse does not equate to milk production. My son took on the average of 40 minutes to nurse up until about 8 mos. He got faster after that. It drove me INSANE as I am not a patient person. Pumping took less time - 12 minutes on each side if I recall.
A recent tip I learned from Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken for the Soup Souls or something like that series...If someone is arguing or disagreeing with you, just go ahead and say "gee, maybe you're right." The idea is it shuts them up, makes them feel like their viewpoint has been heard. You aren't agreeing w/ them, you're just agreeing that hey, they think they are right. I've tried it a few times lately and it seems to avoid further aggrevation. You don't need that right now.
I'm sure everything you are doing is great! Hang in there!

Hi A.,

My youngest son was exactly like that! He was ALWAYS hungry! I pumped and nursed ALL THE TIME :O) When my son ate, he would nurse for about 25-30 minutes, but during the night he would only nurse for about 10-15 min's because he would fall asleep :O) So, like you, I was up constantly trying to figure it all out.

After he was 4 months old, I was finally convinced that somehow my milk wasn't satisfying him.....so I switched to formula. It took some time to get him to take the bottle, but he eventually adjusted to it after a day of finding the perfect nipple :O) The first night he slept 6hrs straight! I was shocked. I couldn't believe that the formula had more than my breastmilk.

Anyway, since then, I've learned that breastmilk has 2 parts to it. One part of Mother's Milk is the part that has the most "food", and the other part is super watery looking milk. I guess that's what was wrong with my milk. I wasn't able to satisfy his appetite enough to stay asleep.

If nursing is something you would like to continue, I would seek help from a Lactation Specialist (I think I spelled that right).

I do NOT think you are doing anything wrong! On the contrary, I think you are doing everything RIGHT to find out what is best for you and your son.

Good Luck!

~N. :O)

Hi A.,

There is nothing wrong with what you're doing. My daughter breastfed for 16-17 months and she only nursed about 5 minutes at a time the whole time eating every 2 to 3 hours...In the beginning, I thought she wasn't getting enough nourishment because of this. I thought the "grazers" like yours were the norm. My lactation consultant told me otherwise...as long as your milk production is up, the baby will dictate what is normal for him/her.

Also, I had trouble getting her to eat food until this last month! (She's 20 months now.) For this reason she was still waking up at night wanting a sippy cup with milk. She's gotten used to having small amounts of food more often...so my challenge is to get her to eat enough at night to keep her tummy satisfied until morning. It's slowly changing. This might be your baby's problem. Since he's so young, however, your only option might be to get a co-sleeper to go right next to your bed since he can't have solids yet. Baby is right there to be fed in the middle of the night, but he has his own space. If your room is big enough, and if your crib allows it, you might move his crib in there for now, remove the side rail and push it up against your bed. This way when he sleeps through the night, and his crib is taken back to his own room, he won't really feel the change.

I hope I made some kind of sense. :) Good luck to you.

Hi A.,

You just perfectly described my son. He was always a snacker too (still is at 6). There is NOTHING wrong with you or the way you are breastfeeding! If you have any questions or issues I would suggest you talk to a lactation consultant. They are amazing and can put your mind at ease.

I also never wanted my kids in bed with me so I often resorted to sleeping with them on the couch (sleep deprived crazy solution!) I always wondered with my kids if they just wanted the closeness of me.

Every baby is different. I would think 10 - 20 minutes is normal. My son would have stayed on all day if I didn't force him off. My daughter I would force her to nurse 7 minutes (another snacker).

Hang in there

Sounds like you and your baby are doing just fine. I breastfed my two babies (one for 8 months and one for 12 months). If I learned anything about breastfeeding, it's not to take advice from someone who's never done it, including my mother and mother-in-law. And not to let people undermine your confidence, as long as your baby is thriving and the pediatrician isn't concerned, just let negative comments go in one ear and out the other. My mother-in-law always insisted I was "starving" my son, even though he was always in the 90th percentile for length and the 75th percentile for weight! She was so sure that breastmilk alone wasn't enough for him, even though the doc. didn't want me to give him solids or anything for 6 months. That particular son, I know for a fact was not starving...I had to pump all his feedings and give them to him out of a bottle, because of him not being able to nurse properly, and so I know he was drinking 40-44 ounces a day of pumped breastmilk! Some people just seem to always "know better" than the mommy! If your baby is growing and gaining weight appropriately, he is getting enough milk. If his weight gain is a little on the slower side, ask your pediatrician about it before you do anything, but you could always try pumping for a few minutes after each feeding to get your body to think your baby is eating more. Then you will naturally produce more. You can use the pumped milk in a bottle once in a while to let dad take over a feeding while you go out to lunch w/ a friend or sleep late or whatever. Or just freeze it to mix in with his cereal when he starts on solids. Keep up the great work mom!
A.