How in the World Do You Do It All?

Hi. as you can tell, you are definitely not alone :)
I have less stress than you do as I only have one son and a part time job...so I am able to do some stuff while he is at pre-K...but I will share one thing that has helps: I spent the last 6-8 months clearing out clutter. i literally got rids of tons of clothes -- mine and my son's and my husbands -- and other things -- It is easier for me to keep thins semi-organized if I only have mostly what I need or value around.
There is a great article in today's new york times by gretchen rubin about just this topic.

Best,

You don't sleep!! It is highly over rated...

Bwhahaha...you don't do it all...not enough time in the world...

I used to do it all but I found the problem is you seem to have a choice between a clean house and family time. So I went with clean enough to be functional.

Def wouldn't want company to drop by though I don't think they would call the health department. It is just I figure when I look back 10 years from now I would rather have memories than think oh how clean my house was.

support, here! i am one that has to have company come over to make sure the house gets really clean every once in awhile :) Martha Stewart, i am surely not. and i hate it too!

just remember - don't compare your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel!

(oh and PS, yes i DO have an amazing, well-rounded child - because THAT is where i put my effort, that is what comes first. the other stuff all comes S..)

Pick a day or two days to laundry....your daughter is 4, she can put her clothes away herself.

When was working full time? I had a cleaning service come in and clean the house...it made sense for us.

Kids pull it out? they put it away...

We set clothes out the night before. I make lunches the night before so there is less to do in the AM.

I wipe things (bathrooms) down as needed and then clean once a week..

there is more but you need to figure out what works for you. Baskets or bins to put toys in? Everyone is different.

If you have not touched it in six months? sell it, freecycle it, ebay it or donate it. That's how you cut down on the clutter - get rid of stuff you don't use.

Mail? if it's junk mail throw it away.
If it's a bill that's on autopay? Open it and check it out and then file it.
Keep the piles to a minimum!!

That's the problem. You are at home all day and so is your child. So even though you are working you are still living in the space so it is not staying clean like working people's homes do. If you want it to stay clean some then you might consider putting your child in a Mother's Day Out Program a couple of days per week so you can have that break that working mom's get.

If no one is home the house stays clean. That's how it is with most working moms.

Well you are very typical of all Moms, working or not. We ALL have that constant conundrum... working or not. It is also the conundrum of SAHMS. Too. It is not just the conundrum of working Moms.

For me, whatever.
I am a SAHM. I have that same "problem" too. But I also work part time out of the house.
I don't expect to have a house that is a museum or clean like a museum everyday. I do clean everyday, but life is life.
I am high-energy and can do a TON in even 1/2 hour. But geez, we can't be like that everyday. We'll burn ourselves out. Then, what good is that? What good is a burnt out Mom to the rest of the family?
My Grandma used to say: "her house was clean... and she is dead now. Her house was clean. But what good is that if she wasn't a Mom?"
Meaning: the woman did everything perfunctory. Her house was clean and the family's clothes etc. and she was always ready for company. BUT... well, she wasn't a real direct hands on Mom. Her kids were just peripheral and her Husband.
What good is that?

No O. "has it all"! If they say they do--they're lying! LOL

Do the best you can.
FlyLady has great tips -- some of which work for me....re-boot laundry every morning (I hate laundry DAYS, so I;d rather do O. per day, wash, fold, dry put away), run dishwasher before bed (a timer on the DW is a wonderful thing! Unload it in the AM), swish & swipe your bathrooms as you get ready in the morning (swish toilet with soap, wipe counters, etc. EVERY DAY so they never get "icky" or NOT company-ready).

But, at the end of the day, if your floors are sticky and your kids are clean, fed and happy, that's a good sign.

I don't do it all. There's no way to and believe me, I've wracked my brain trying to come up with a strategy to turn into a super hero. If you find a way, please let me know :-)

The one thing that works for ME, when trying to actually deal with the sheer amount on my plate is to create systems that work for me and my family. I'll give you a silly example. For years I tried to get everyone to put keys on this little key hook by the door. No one, including me, remembered to do it.

Finally, in a stoke of genius, I decided to (get ready for it) put a key bowl on our fireplace mantel, the spot our keys seemed to always land. Now, I can find my keys in one of three places: The small pocket of my backpack, the key bowl, or my belt loop.

Also, I'm in recovery for perfectionism. It's a tough go. I've relapsed several times (unfortunately not as much of a laughing matter as I'd like to paint it).

So one of the ways I am breaking myself in is to just do a little bit at a time. It's excruciating for me. When I see a mess, I see every step of the clean up process, how it relates to the others, and I don't see a part of it, I see all of it. I'll go to do yard work and end up obsessing over the muck in the garage.

It takes a lot of practice for me (not exaggerating) to just do a little bit at a time. Usually I end up getting into it (okay, kind of too much) so it's just getting started that's hard. This is where the little bit comes into play. I set a time limit (ex: 1 1/2 hour and then I do something with the family), a reward (ex: trashy tv while folding laundry!), and choosing one very manageable task (ex: clean kitchen. Fold laundry. Sort drawer. Scrub bathroom. Take out trash. Help girls clean their room. Vacuum.)

The other thing that helps for me is to have a routine. I am really terrible at sticking with routines, so again, they have to be ones that actually work for me and in more than just theory. This is harder done than said. I'm still working on it. Sometimes it means sacrificing the should for the what actually is. For example, I like to clean/cook when I'm doing it with (an adult) someone. I hate it when I'm by myself. So okay, realistically this isn't always possible. The solution? Talking on the phone WHILE I clean. This way I get my social hour AND the laundry done. Also, I try to make a game of it with the kids. Put on music, take some deep breaths, relax a little.

By the way, I've worked as a SAHM, a WAHM and a Work from home mom. The hardest for me (by far!!!)? Working from home. Instead of cleaning up in the evening, leaving for the day, and coming home from the day, I was juggling the balls AND the baby All. Day. Long. Give yourself credit, okay? Be gentle on yourself and set reasonable expectations.

Sometimes I have to leave the house to get downtime with my family, because if I'm home the projects distract me. No matter, it's a good excuse for an adventure.

Best of luck to yah. Honestly my house is FAR from pristine. But, this is the stuff that helps me from keeping it out of hazard-zone. :-)

I work two full-time jobs, including a couple of overnight shifts. I'm divorced, my daughter is grown, and I live alone with three dogs and sixteen cats. I do housekeeping in small bites.
Hair is a constant battle. I sweep every other day or so when I get home from work. I have a Swiffer knockoff with the tank for cleaning solution and a washable microfiber head. I run that over the floors about twice a week. Again, only takes a few minutes.
I don't keep a lot of knick-knacks around. They just collect dust.
Laundry gets folded and put away as soon as it's dry. I hate looking at a pile of clean laundry and knowing that I have to get it all put away before the cats sleep on it. If I do it in small batches, it's easier.
All five litter boxes get cleaned three times a day - first thing in the morning, late afternoon/early evening, bedtime. Takes ten minutes.
Dishes go in the dishwasher as soon as I'm done cooking/eating. I hate to look at a sink full if dirty, scummy dishes and have to dig through them to load the dishwasher.
Big projects get tackled on Sunday afternoons (my day off) when I can do them in one swell foop. Grass gets mowed on weekends if it's not raining. If it rains, grass doesn't get mowed.
I don't have floors you can eat off of, but they're not crunchy either. My desk is cluttered, but I know which pile of papers has what documents in it.

Nobody DOES IT ALL. You pick and choose what's most important to you. IMO, housework can wait. It will always be there, though I actually can get some done by engaging my two year old, who for now loooves helping!

But again, prioritize what works for you and remember only you have to answer to you.

Above all else, enjoy your daughter. She grows up fast, while housework, well just grows :-)

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No one can do it all and if they do something is lacking somewhere.

Nobody does it all.
You do the best you can.
The most important thing we are doing is either raising our kids or working.
Not how spotless our house is.
On our deathbeds it's better to say "I wish I would have kept a better house than I should have spent more time with my kids."
Do what you can, when you can.
Get help if you need it & can afford it.
Let fall by the wayside what can be left.

OMG, HM! You hit the nail on the head. I have NO idea. I feel like I can't keep up the house, and I'm a SAHM and I clean all day, throughout the day. And it never stays "nice." I hire someone to clean once every 3 weeks, JUST bathrooms (3) and kitchen so it's cost effective.

My kids are 1, 3, 4 and 6, and husband is at work all day from before dawn until late evening.

For exercise, I joined a gym with a good child care option and go 3 times a week for an hour. I jog at night after the kids go to bed during the week. Down time? Not really. Career? None (and I have advanced degrees). I'm not complaining, I'm just saying I understand what you are saying! I can't imagine throwing in a full-time job too, or is it easier in some ways because if the kids are at daycare all day they are not IN the house making a mess of it? I guess there are trade-offs for everything, huh?

Recently I've been getting rid of "stuff" to be proactive to try to cut down clutter. I love to clean and stare at a clean room before bed, with that image in my head!
I understand the 'don't worry about the house because kids come first" attitude, but before...the house was so bad I felt it was affecting all of us negatively. How they be well rounded if there is no clean laundry or dishes and mom is stressed out? So...I am getting better. Organization is my goal this year, and as the baby gets older, it gets easier!

I am exactly like you, working from home as well. I am a daycare provider though. I have the live in/clutter life. I also go to college one night a week and do all my homework online.
Oh, and I have 4 kids of my own. You get the picture right?
I try and make sure things are picked up that no one is tripping on anything. When the basement gets to messy, the kids all help me clean up.
I am thinking about going room to room and doing the cleaning that way...but I haven't started yet.

My friends who have perfect houses fall into one of 2 categories:
Either they have a cleaning lady AND a landscaper once a week
**OR** They do not work and their kids attend school full day --so, they have from 8am - 3:30 pm pretty much free to get all this stuff done !!!

If it makes you feel any better, the only people I know with neat houses, de-cluttered closets, kept lawns, everything in good repair, laundry done, kids bathed regularly etc etc etc WITH two working parents AND down time for fun etc....HAVE MAIDS. Or older kids. Or one parent not working and devoting many hours per day to the above list. I do have ONE couple as friends who work and do the neat house and yard thing, even the most remote basement shelf is clutter free and "everything in it's place" but they hardly socialize, they go to bed early and LOVE to work all weekend on their place starting at the crack of dawn AND they're neatnicks who stay on top of messes before they start AND their adult kids flew the nest.

If you're home all day-even working-with your daughter- messes are being made, dishes are being dirtied etc UNLIKE when people leave their home empty all day.

Don't feel bad. I'm three steps behind ALWAYS too and I don't work (but I have three young kids and husband travels all the time). I swear even if I had a maid, the day to day would be a challenge. Thank god I finally got a neighbor's son to handle the yard.

You can't do it all. It's a lie, a joke. There was a terrific article about it two months ago in the Atlantic Monthly:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-w...

I don't work full-time, but I do home school and I just started an educational co-op, so I am super busy! I fly lady as much as possible, but I still have "troubled spots." But I do spend 15-30 minutes first and last thing of everyday cleaning and doing laundry. If you don't do this, start. I also tend to spend 15 minutes around lunch time picking up too. So I spent about 45 minutes everyday picking up or vacuuming. I also wipe down the main bathroom every morning after everyone is done in there. It takes 2 minutes, and the bathroom is always guest ready. Every morning pick a different room and spend 15 minutes working on it, using any other time you have to clean up the kitchen/dinning room/ living room. Good news! Your daughter can pick up her own crumbs! Get her a broom! Then, after dinner and before bed, go through the main rooms, pick up things that belong elsewhere, put them away, and do a quick vacuum of the kitchen/dinning room.

I find that I can keep up with the main rooms this way, but I do let the office and utility room go. I then have to put aside a weekend to dig out. I think digging out is just part of the game ;-) You have to just prioritize and get done what you can.

We do have a clean, very neat house almost all of the time, and I'm not lying. ;)

The difference between my house and yours is that my children are older than yours, and 3 of the 4 people that live here are naturally extremely neat, and one has been forced to conform.

My husband and I both work full-time (I teach, so I've been home all summer, but I go back tomorrow), and we have a very neat, organized 14 year old, and a scattered 8 year old who tries to keep his things put away. He does a pretty good job. Through the years we've learned to work together efficiently to keep the house neat and clean. It never gets dirty, so it's easy to keep it nice.

Because we're all working together, we have a lot of free time together. Also, neither of my boys are involved in band or sports. Well, my youngest is a golfer, but it doesn't take up much time during the school year. My oldest is involved in all sorts of academic pursuits, but they aren't as demanding on family time as sports are. I teach AP English, so I have tons of grading to do, and that's probably the biggest intrusion on our family time.

Believe me, I could never do this alone. I have an incredibly supportive husband (he's great at housework and laundry!), and the boys keep their things put away, vacuum, dust, and clean their bathrooms.

Things will get easier as your daughter gets older. Just teach her to help you, and enlist your husband's help, as well. :)

Simply, you Don't. Prioritize & call it a day.

I DON'T do it all and if you find the answer I'll be following this link! I only work part time and my biggest part time job is from home and I STILL don't do it all. (Although my husband works a lot of travels often so I am frequently on my own.) I put health (exercising) and family time/activities ahead of my housework and the house suffers.

We accomplished two things this weekend that are a big deal for us. My husband and I, who aren't at all handy, fixed our 17-year-old grill with an $18 part. Yea! We were on the verge of buying a new one, but now it will live another season. And my husband, with the help of our 16-year-old son and a tiny bit of help from our 12-year-old, power washed and stained the deck. These are proud accomplishments for us!

There is no way to do it all every day so don't even worry about it! The most important thing is the time you spend with your daughter.

I like the advice of taking 15 minutes at the start and end of each day picking up. You really can accomplish a lot in 15 minutes!

The way I see it, the dirt will be there - unfortunately it only multiplies, but doesn't go away with me! So let it sit a day or so - who cares!

The way I think of it is when I'm laying on my death bed, what do I want flashing in front of my eyes? Me cleaning or me being with my child? Thinking of it that way, the choice is easy!