My son is in first grade and this is his first year at a large elementary. Every day he clings to me and will not walk in to school by himself. The staff keeps reminding me that I cannot be in school and I am embarrased that I seem to be the only parent doing this. I want to address it properly and find a way to give him the confidence he needs. He just keeps telling me he is shy... any helpful hints?
Hi everyone and thanks for all the useful tips... So today his Dad decided to take him and guess what - he jumped out of the truck and went in all by himself. We had a back-up plan of meeting his best friend to walk in together and I was going to give him something to put in his pocket to let him know we were always thinking about him, but will save those for later, if needed. He may be going with Dad for the next couple of days just to be sure.
Last year I donated some of my son's toys to the classroom. He took great pride in having something from HOME at SCHOOL with him. Sometimes it's the little things (in the shape of Lighting McQueen) that make their day. Just a thought.
Talk with the teacher and see if either she (or one of her aides) can meet you outside in the morning. Give your little guy a hug, tell him that you know he's going to have a wonderful day and then literally hand him over. Don't linger... walk to your car and leave. They will take him in the building until he gets used to it.
We used to do this all the time for kids. It's really not a big deal to the staff and they should be willing to help.
This seems a little silly (my idea, not your sweet boy), but what if he brought his new teacher something in the morning? An apple or a pencil or ANYTHING nice at all. Something small he can give to him or her and distract from the fact that he has to go.
It won't need to happen for the rest of the year, just until he's used to the atmosphere and so forth. He'll be so excited about his gift and the approval of his teacher, he'll forget all about leaving you.
Good luck!
Oh J.. That's a heart breaker.
I have no perfect trick, but I would suggest you find him a friend in that class and invite the child over. Promise a play date after school at least a couple of times a week and that may encourage him.
Let me offer encouragement for you. My oldest son cried every day the first week of kindergarten. I was distraught. I felt mean leaving. I still cringe at the thought of it. BUT...... we got through it. He is a very confident adult now at 25 years of age. He probably doesn't even remember any of that. :)
Can you practice at home? Pretend the front door is the school door, walk up to it and have him practice letting go of your hand or leg, and then going inside himself. Maybe role playing and the act of actually letting go of your leg might help him see its not so bad.
Poor baby. To me, 1st graders are still babies (my kid is 5 and in K and he just seems so young to be going to school!). I hope it gets better :)
I have this issue to with my PK 3 yr old...I like Christy P's advice and think I will try that one as well.
The heading of your post just about broke my heart. Poor little guy.
Can you talk to the teacher and see if she can hook your little boy up with a buddy in his class? Maybe there's a place the two of them can meet outside and walk in together?
Good luck to you. I have a 1st grader this year too and I can sense the school nudging them to be "big boys and big girls" too. While I understand it, it is still distressing. Every child is so different. I wish they could bend those rules a little sometimes.
I hope the year gets better for you and him fast.
Oh I feel your pain. When my daughter was in preschool the teacher would have to pull her off and hold onto her.
Does he know any of the other kids yet, or are they all new? Perhaps if he does, you could pick up one of his friends for a week and bring them both to school together?
If not, acknowledge his fears. Something like, I think your a little scared to walk into school on your own because you don't know the other kids that well. Maybe your belly feels a little like it has butterflies floating around in it? Everyone feels that way sometimes. Maybe even point out a time you were scared and how you got over the fear. Also, I know with my daughter it helps to point out there are other kids are just as nervous about going to school. Also point out in time he will make lots of friends and every day will get easier. Then tell him you are only walking him to the door or pick a point then you will give a hug and leave. (Make the departure very quick and not drawn out)
Awe, my son is in VPK (his 3rd year in the school) and he STILL sometimes clings to me... It's hard!
I don't have a lot of advice, curious to see what other moms say~ The way my son gets off of me is the teachers assistant takes him!
I can't imagine how kindergarten at a new school is going to be for him next year, yikes!!!
GOOD LUCK, I feel your pain~
Maybe he needs a "talisman" that he wears all day.. Like a woven bracelet, It will be a reminder of you dad and him.. Get 3 colors of string and braid them together.. each of you could make one and each wear them all of the time.
Let him know you are wearing them and thinking of each other each time you notice it.
Great ideas here, taking something to the teacher would be a great ice breaker, a book from home teacher could read to class would give him something to look forward to, having someone meet him in front of school. Have you read :the Kissing Hand" and "First Day Jitters"
I went through the same thind as you the first 6 months of 4k. kindergarten was a breeze. He had first day jitters and did that to me but not many others after that. Once he wanted to walk up to the line alone it was way easier. He would hop out of the car so fast! Maybe talk to him about being a big kid now and tell him big kids can go to the line themselves if they want. make it sound like it's the coolest thing. I usually sit in my car and watch who he plays with and make sure he's safe. After school make sure you're the first person he sees at the door when he gets there. This will make him feel safe. Good luck! It does get easier.
The school won't let you walk him in the building? I would have an issue with this. I walk mine in, K and 1st grader to their hall, then give hugs and kisses and they walk down their hall by themselves......
1st grade is young especially being his first year in a big school......his confidence will come in feeling secure in this new environment......giving him time is what he needs.....
Oh J.. That was me and my daughter last year. We opted to do something else for kindergarten so we were both blindsided in 1st! And when you don't do kinder at school...by the time the kids are in 1st, most of the other kids around you HAVE been at the school so they expect a bit more from them (and the moms!). My daughter was painfully shy (literally would double over in pain). We got involved in a group that happened to have several of the girls in her class in it (it was girl scouts, but it may be something other than scouting for you). After she got to know them, it went much better. Also, when I would introduce her to new people I would say "This is my daughter...she USED to be shy, but man, she's not any more!" and then being shy for her wasn't an option any more. It worked for us anyway! I wish you the best of luck. :O)
That school is in the wrong. I don't know of any school that does not allow the kids parents to walk in to take them to breakfast or to the gym for morning assembly. I would worry that they have something to hide...
If they don't want you in there tell them to meet you at the car and pull him off and take him inside. That ought to go over well with them. Otherwise just kind of peel him off and hand him over and leave. He'll get the idea eventually.
