How Do I Prepare My 19 Month Old Daughter for a New Baby?

When I was due to have my second child, my daughter was 23 months old. I prepared her before the baby was born. I let her rub my belly, and told her that her baby sister was inside my belly. She loved rubbing my stomach. When my second baby girl was born, My 23 month old daugther was very jealous. She almost regressed to being a baby again. She cried when my newborn cried to get the same attention she was getting. It was a very difficult adjustment. I kept telling my 2 year old that she a big sister now. I allowed her to participate in caring for my newborn. She loved feeding her. She was very helpful. As time went on my 2 year old learned to love her baby sister when she realized that the new baby was here to stay. My girls are now 34 months old, and 10 months old, and they have such a strong bond now. I love to see them interact together.

My daughter is just a little over 2 and we are expecting our 2nd as well. She too has LOVED the baby dolls so she has almost everything I have for the new baby for her babies so she can do what I do. I also have a friend that has a young baby and she brings her over often so she has gotten used to being more gentle and even getting a diaper and throwing the old diaper away when the baby is changed etc so that seems to have helped so far but well see. We also plan on having a gift from the new baby to her at the hospital. I also read in one of my parenting mags a really cute idea that we are thinking about doing for sure. It said that toddlers dont fully comprihend the whole baby thing but they understand celebrations/parties and that they mean something big and important. So she had a "Big sibling party" for her toddler just a few days before she was to be indunced. They had a cake and a few decorations and even gifts but they were all big sibling themed gifts like books and shirts and stuff that said im a big sister/brother ect. Kind of a baby shower for the sibling since mommy and daddy and baby are getting a ton of gifts as well. Dont know if this helps or not but are a few things I have been looking into. :)

my son was 20mo wen i d dd he didn't really pay munch att to her but now he wants to hold her all the time he even trys to pick he up so always make sure the baby is staped in to what ever seat there are

hope this helps. my daughter is going to be a month old friday and my son is 20 months old. i know every kid is different. my son used to watch a baby story(on tlc) with me my last month and a half of my pregancy he loved it. i told him he's going to have a baby sister just like that soon and i need him to be a big helper when she comes. i showed him pictures of babies in books said the same thing. so now that she's here he helps with getting diapers, holding her , kisses her and makes sure she is ok. he loves her very much. i make sure he is a part of everything i do with her. i also have my husband watch her so i make time to spend with him once a week. good luck

Hi P.,
Congrats, first of all. I think it will definitely be a change for your little girl, but overall she'll be fine. She will probably be VERY curious, so be careful, girls especially like to mimick mommy, so if you leave her alone with the baby, she may try to pick her up, or give her hard kisses, or give her a very heavy toy. It's all very innocent and I had little anxiety attacks, but we survived. Just make sure you spend some good quality time with your toddler when the baby takes one of his naps. Good luck!

My daughter was 20 months old when my son was born. I believe she was very well prepared. I had a planned c-section so I had to prepare her for that as well. She went to all my docotrs appointments and knew there was a baby coming. She enjoyed looking at her old baby pictures, so she knew what was coming. I think she was so ready becuase we talked about it alot and kept her involved. It was going to be "our" baby, not just mommies. SHe loved him and couldnt stop kissing him in the hospital and when we got him home. She helped with bottles and really enjoyed him. I was worried about how'd she'd handle it all....but she was fine. Good luck. I hope this helps.

My daughters are 15 months apart.I worried about this also. My daughters were tandem nursed and I think it helped them bond, and kept my first daughter feeling that special closeness to me. If you don't nurse you could cuddle them both while you are bottle feeding. My oldest would often reach over and caresss her younger sisters cheek.

My son was 2 years and 2 weeks old when we brought my daughter home. Probably the worst part for me was being in the hospital and having my son shuffled around between my husband, grandparents, and friends. When we did come home with the baby, his schedule was out of whack. He had missed me so much and was cranky and shell-shocked.
He accepted his sister no problem. That wasnt an issue at all for us. She didnt do much more than eat and sleep. He didnt try to smother her in her sleep, he didnt hit or bite her, or anything like that.
Getting him to realize that I am only one person and I cant be in two places at one time was tricky. Before I sat down to nurse the baby, I would make sure he had a snack, juice, and something to keep him busy, so he wouldnt be needy while I was busy with the baby.
I'm not going to lie, the first 3 weeks were rough. My daughter was colicky and she wanted to be held all the time.
Get yourself into a routine that works for you and stick with it.
Get LOTS of rest in the hospital. I was happy to have my husband bring my son by to see me. I was even happier to kiss the goodbye. Once you are home, thats it...Break time is over.
Hope I didnt scare you. But, this was my experience. Now, the two of them are so great together.
Good Luck to you, best wishes for an easy birth and easy transition!

Hi P.,

Our first son, Thomas, was just 2-years old when our second son was born, and I had exactly the same concerns as you do. Throughout the pregnancy we made sure Thomas knew that this was a going to be a BIG adventure for all of us. Whenever we talked about the baby we kept it very upbeat and exciting. Thomas helped us get the nursery ready and was with us on all of our shopping trips for baby stuff.

Although it was not how we'd planned it, Thomas had to be with us at the hospital when Sam was born, (everything happened incredibly fast and we didn't have time to wait for my MIL to arrive to stay at home with Thomas). In retrospect we think this was very, very positive for Thomas. He got to see 'Baby Sam' almost as soon as he was born and felt very involved with the whole thing.

My husband was able to stay home for the first week after Sam was born, which made a huge difference as he was able to dedicate a great deal of attention to Thomas. We have always, from the word go, let Thomas touch Sam, including touching his face and head, as long as he's gentle. Initially he wasn't too interested in 'helping' with diaper changes or bottles, but we always asked him if he wanted to, and he certainly does now!

One of the best pieces of advice I received was from the pediatrician. He also has two children just two-years apart and he told us that for the first few weeks whenever we were in a situation where both Thomas and the baby were demanding our attention at the same time, we should, (whenever it was safe, obviously), respond to Thomas first not Sam. Of course it's difficult when the baby is crying, but if you know the baby is safe and does not actually need you at that precise moment then the baby will be absolutely fine, and the older child learns that they are not going to be pushed aside. I only had to do this for a couple of days, after which Thomas stopped demanding my attention so much.

The fact that you are posting this question shows that you are a very caring, dedicated mom, so I don't think you are going to have too many problems. At the end of the day, you can only do what you think is best. It's a learning curve for everyone involved, and your daughter will let you know when something is not working for her.

Good luck, and very best wishes for a smooth delivery. This is such an exciting time for you all!

D.

Hi P., congrats on your upcoming arrival.... I have a 4 year old , which was a twin and unfortunately passed shortly after.... when she was 2 1/2 yrs old I was expecting another set of twins... and boy was we worried about how she would feel about it.... upon the babies arriving one by one because they didnt both come home at the same time...Well this is how we handled it, We asked Aaliyah to participate in our daily routines with the babies.... for instance, we ask her to get the diaper because it was time for diaper change, in the meanwhile I explained to her that she was my big helper.. letting her know she was assisting us with the babies, so this made her feel good about herself... She knew she was apart of them and that she has not lost mommies attention... it wasn't easy because there was 2 babies to tend too and frankly she was still a baby..... when she did feel that she wasnt getting the attention she would act up...... thats when I would let her know Mama is gonna put babies in the crib and she and I can take care of her babies which are her teddy bears that she dress up with her actual baby clothes.... or her Dora dolls...these times that I took apart with her were precious to me and I knew she was happy to know, it was me and her alone time... P. what I did was include her in assisting me, share the hush little baby song with me, just letting her know she was apart of it all..... after all she was my only baby and all she knew was her teenager brother and sister.... I hope this helps you somehow....

hugggggggs,
Dee

Hi, I hope I can help, even if just a little bit, I'm sure you've already gotten alot of help. I have helped a 2 friends with this problem, but only AFTER the new baby was born. The help I gave was just to sit with them and help take care of the kids while they got some rest. But while I was there, I had dealt with the older daughter hating her baby brother because she wasn't included with the baby. After I let her hold him (she was only 3) and I let her help me feed him with the bottle, she started to warm up to him. The other friend had told her son (only 1 at the time) that he was going to have a little sister. She explained throughout the pregnancy that there was a baby in mommy's belly, and gave him dolls to show him how to be with the baby when she was born. After the baby came home from the hospital, all he wanted to do was hug, feed, and kiss the baby. He was great! She makes sure that he gets his time, and also gets to help out with his little sister. I think if you just keep up with the doll, and when your new baby comes home, let daughter help feed with a bottle, and maybe hold her, even if just in bed, or on the couch, things will be fine. I know that's how my mother got me to help with my younger brother, and keep the peace! And that's what i've told, and how i've helped friends in this situation. I hope that this helps, and I wish you luck!

hi P., i am in the same position, my daughter will be 20 months when our new baby arrives, although she doesnt understand right now, i got her a baby stroller and she has her baby dolls, i am hoping that she will want to be a little helper. let you daughter know that you too will need her help with the new baby, the best thing is to get her involved in the babys life so she doesnt feel replaced or jealous. if you will be putting your daughter in a new room , i would start that now before you give birth so that she feels special and not like the new baby is taking over. hope this helps, and good luck yo you and your family.

I have two girls and the most important thing we did was make sure she was involved in everything and make sure she knew she was still just as important and had special time just for her. It would be her time or her day. Your daughter is young but she can still be involved, taking baths eventually, taking naps with her new sibling, picking clothes and things like that. But make sure she knows she has her special time.