How Do I Make Myself Feel Normal?

You sound depressed. It's time to see a doctor and probably get on some medication to get you through this. Drugs have their place.

Ditto to seeing your regular doctor. Just because you go on an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication to get you through a hard time doesn't mean you'll be on it for the rest of your life. Keep that in mind.

It's hard to imagine sharing what you're going through face-to-face with anyone and asking for that help - but that's exactly how you will feel normal again.

Also, something to think about - a LOT of people who go into psychiatry, psychology, and counseling do so because they either have been through depression or anxiety or some other illness themselves, or they saw a loved one battling. They get into to help - not to judge.

Does your work have an Employee Assistance Program? If so, please, call them. They can talk with you and refer you to exactly who you should see.
I know it may seem awkward, but remember, these people have been trained to help people who are feeling JUST like you.
Best wishes!

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I looked quickly at your recent posts - you have a lot going on. The last time I went through this I didn't want to go through looking for a psych, etc. - I made an appointment with my regular dr. and explained my feelings etc. He put me on a low dose of Zoloft to get me through the hard time - after a couple of weeks I felt normal again. When my life got a little less stressful I went off the Zoloft....

If you are a Christian I encourage you to pray that you are laying all of your burdens on Him....keep doing it - everyday "Lord, please take these burdens off of me, I am giving them to You, it's in Your hands."

Best of luck to you getting through this.

Have you had your thyroid checked? Even though I was going through a hard time, I was feeling so emotional and angry. My thyroid was not working properly and I got on medicine and now am so much more able to handle things that come my way!

T.... Pick up the phone and make an appointment for TODAY ... Your feelings may only get worse and harder to treat.. The comfort of knowing you will have an answer TODAY will be a great first step. I have felt the same and you WILL be back to your old self again, but you HAVE to get help!!!... The sooner the better!!!.. Best of luck to you.. Make that call!!

I was just skimming your posts and it is clear that you are dealing with a lot right now, and that you are overwhelmed and unhappy.
I am assuming by the large number of posts that you make that you don't have many close friends? Spending time with my sister and girlfriends, especially doing something really fun, has a HUGE effect on my mood and sanity. And if I was dealing with the serious stuff you have been lately my family and friends would be stepping up big time to help me out. Do you have anyone you can reach out to? I see you mention your in laws a lot, but you never mention your own family.
If you are alone with only your ill husband, his parents and your kids I can see where you would be very lonely and sad. Please see your doctor and let him/her know what's going on. Get on an anti depressant if that's what you need. Hopefully you can learn to start taking better care of yourself, get out and spend time with some women friends, go for coffee, a walk, go see a funny movie, it will do you wonders!

I know getting help seems daunting and I would suspect you have a belief that you should be able to 'fix' this all on your own. It sounds like that isn't working too well for you. Please consider getting some kind of help and now. You are in a very vulnerable place.

I would guess that you struggle with boundaries. I would guess that you take on more than your share, you struggle with saying no, you worry about everyone else, and you really feel responsible for everthing that is going on around you. Carrying the "weight of the world", being exhausted, weepy, and having a short fuse are all indicators of a lack of boundaries.

If you are absolutely opposed to seeking professional counseling then at least go to the library/book store and get some books on boundaries and start there.

It is interesting that you say it is stressful to think about being face to face with someone and pouring your heart out to them. I would suspect that you are feeling shame/embarassment and that you have a deep belief system that judges you harshly. You may be completely unaware of how viciously your inner critic is judging you however, if you find yourself constantly judging and being irritated and angered by other people's behaviors you are actually reacting to your own inner voice.

One way you may be able to work around the face-to-face thing, at least temporarily, is to connect with a life coach that does sessions over the phone. I know that I work with a lot of people that are really suprised at how well over-the-phone sessions work. You just need to be careful that you find a coach that works at a fairly deep level and isn't just about setting goals and doing homework. I would recommend someone that has a background in psychotherapy but has transitioned into coaching. If you want more information I would be happy to provide that.

As many other moms have stressed, you need to get some support now. The longer you wait the more quickly you can spiral into a really ugly place and the climb out of that is much tougher. Sometimes we just need permission and I hope that you can take away from all these caring moms the permission you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and to take care of yourself by reaching out and getting all the support you need.

Like some people have said, if you go on medication, it doesn't mean it has to be forever and it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist who prescribes it. Your OB/Gyn can. And you have nothing at all to be ashamed of so if you have to tell a Dr what's going on, don't worry about it! They've seen it all! I remember a friend telling me she broke down at a regular OB/Gyn appt crying at her stress and she didn't even have as much to deal with as you do. Are you not sleeping? If so, please ask for ativan. I can't tell you how much better you'll feel if you get some sleep. My husband is super anti medication but has had stressful times and he can't sleep, it makes his stomach sick etc. I finally convinced him to take ativan one night and he was shocked the next day. Like he said, it just calms your mind so you can rest. I've used it periodically over the past 5 years with no ill effects whatsoever and many benefits as I'm a bear when I don't sleep. And if getting some sleep doesn't help, try an anti-depressant. I've been on them at times and they're also amazing in terms of helping your mind see things more clearly. Finally, if you just can't get a prescription drug and aren't sleeping, try 2 benedryl. They knock me out. So at least you'd get some sleep. A dr told me benedryl is almost better than something like ativan bc it doesn't disrupt some portion of your sleep - something about noncrazy dream inducing... Listen to all of us who have been there and force yourself to take a step. Making an appt to see a dr can somehow seem like such a big deal but it'll take 5 min. And then once you have the appt, you'll likely to go and trust us, an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication will help. You have nothing to lose!

I also vote for calling your PCP. You do not need to go specifically to a therapist for anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. Make the call, it's an easy one & you'll be one step closer to feeling better. **HUGS**

When you are depressed, the energy it takes to make an appointment is exhausting, I know. I am not a big meds person, but taking anti-depressants is the only way I can be a healthy wife and mom at this point in time. Exercise and good nutrition help tremendously, but make that call - just to your regular doctor. You don't need to go into lots of detail and pour your heart out, just tell them what is happening with your emotions and body. They see it all the time. I function well now, and even smile and laugh. (This is huge, if you have never experienced the pain of depression. It's so frustrating because it's not how or who you normally are!) Please go now, they can take two to four weeks to get full effects.

I am sorry you are feeling this way, T.. Please know that a doctor will not judge you. I know it is a hard step to take. But truly, you do not need to pour your whole heart out. Simply tell your OBGYN or Primary Care Physician that you are suffering anxiety, weepiness, exhaustion and any other symptoms and he/she can prescribe a medication to help you. I had many of your same feelings when I was pregnant and went on Zoloft. I can tell you, within a week or so, it was like I could finally see clearly. I remember going outside and actually noticing that the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day! It was amazing. I had no negative effects from the medication. I was on it for maybe 6 months and then I slowly went off after I had my baby, as it seems my depression was caused a lot by the pregnancy hormones.
I tend to get anxiety still, though not as badly as before. I have considered trying Zoloft again, and I might, but I also was told my my friend that she has started taking St. Johns Wort and has noticed her anxiety, stress, etc has gone down drastically. She said she has noticed she is much more on edge when she does not take it. Now, I have done no research on St. John's Wort, but perhaps look into that as it may be an option. It might help you as well to look into cutting out soda (especially diet soda with fake sugars), sugar, refined flours, caffiene, focus on eating healthy and getting exercise daily, and get plenty of sunshine. Sometimes that won't fix everything, but I have been able to turn myself around by doing those things (I tend to get depressed around the holidays- all the stress and fatty foods probably!). Good luck.

Seeking support is proof of your strength.

I know this is completely wierd to some people. But I personally just call mommy or my sisters when I get depressed. Hearing their voice encouraging me to be strong usually helps until I can talk to someone with letters behind their name. Sometimes you will just find comfort in having a support team there. I wish you all the best in life and hope you find a smile for today.

Could you be pregnant?

You don't have to start with a stranger. Do you have a family doctor? Call and make an appointment first thing Monday morning. A good family doctor can start treatment and refer you to a counselor/psychiatrist as needed. Not to mention that your family doctor can ALSO start checking all the PHYSICAL things that can cause your mental state (are your hormones out of whack? Does your thyroid need checked?)

Hi T.,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I agree with the posts below to call your own dr and to try to call your mother or other family member sometimes for support...

Can I humbly provide some thoughts to help your mood and energy level:

1. Are you exercising or even just taking nice walks? 20 minutes a day can do great things for your energy level and mood.

2. Are you making time for yourself. To give yourself a nice bath, manicure, read a good book, window shop????

3. Are you eating well-balanced meals, and that occasional piece of bittersweet chocolate?

4. Have you thought about going to your priest, minister, rabbi or other spiritual leader for some support? maybe through a spiritual community you can find a psychologist you will feel comfortable with.

5. From my general knowledge, while your GP can put you on a good medication, I understand that if you are depressed, it is good to work through the issues as well with someone. That medication combined with therapy is optimal. the medication can maybe enable you to feel better and more in control and thus perhaps more open to talking to a qualified professional.

I hope the above helps and that you feel relief soon. Keep everyone posted.

Jilly