How Do I Get My Toddler to Relax During a Haircut?

Updated on June 25, 2008
D.C. asks from Phoenix, AZ
27 answers

My almost 2 year old is deathly afraid of the electric hair clippers! We've been trimming his hair since he was a baby, and he has always screamed when the trimmers come near him. He is tow-head blonde and his hair grows like crazy. We really need to cut it once a month, but we usually push it to every other month because I hate putting him through the trauma. My husband will hold him in his lap while I trim his hair. He screams and cries and pretty much acts like we're killing him the entire time. The minute I turn off the clippers, he looks at me and says, "All done!" and starts to calm down. Anyone else have this experience? I'm terrified of taking him to a salon in fear that he'll have a screaming fit. Even when I'm trimming the top of his hair with scissors, he starts crying... though this might be in anticipation of the clippers soon to come!

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J.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Mine were the same way! I was at the end of my rope trying to cut it myself, so I just decided to take him in and see what happened. He was terrified...but so terrified that he sat perfectly still on my lap for them to cut it! And, because he wasn't screaming the entire time, he realized it wasn't so bad after all and hasn't put up a fight since. Honestly, the movies and cute little chairs and such meant nothing at all to my kids though, so I wouldn't waste any extra time or money on them.

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S.C.

answers from Flagstaff on

D..
As a mother of 4 and a hairdresser, I have tried a few things in my salon. I have several maniquin heads with hair on them (but a cheap dollar store doll will do the trick)When I have a child that is nervous of the clippers, I let them give a little cut to the doll themselves to see that it does not hurt. I can usually get in most of the cut but if they get nervous, I let them have at the doll again for a bit. There are also smaller clippers with less sound that can be purchased at a beauty supply. With clippers like the peanut, they are less intimidating than big loud clippers coming at you. Good Luck

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M.D.

answers from Phoenix on

My son was the same. He's nearly 3 and has had a salon haircut twice now. The first 2 times he freaked out so much we just had to leave - and that's not even about clippers, just sitting in the chair made him scream. So we decided to clip it at home.

All the advice here is good - letting him use the clippers on daddy, ear plugs. You might try giving him a lollipop that he can have while he gets clipped. We've ended up clipping his hair as short as possible, just so we don't have to do it too often. It does get better with time.

Does he still eat in a high chair? If so, we found it better to take the high chair outside, give him a lollipop and some toys and do it there. He still hated it, but was more comfortable not being held down or restrained on someone's lap... that just seems to make the struggle worse. Good Luck.

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M.M.

answers from Albuquerque on

I had this EXACT problem with my son and he's 8 years old now. The thing to do is to keep doing what your doing and eventually he'll get used to having the clippers used on him. I used to stand my son in the bathroom sink and cut his hair. I thought if he could see what was going on it would make him a little more calm. At first he still screamed but eventually he stopped and just watched as I clipped off all of his hair. Now, when I cut his hair, he says, " mom, remember when I used to get scared and cry when you cut my hair?" I say yes and asked him it I ever hurt him. he said no and that it just felt wierd and scared him. Trust me, your son will get used to having his hair cut, you just have to keep doing it no matter how much he screams.

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L.T.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi D.! My son was the same way. We finally figured out that it was really the hair all over him that he didn't like. So now my husband will take him in the garage and give him my hair dryer. He turns it on low/cold air and lets my son "blow" the hair off of him while my husband cuts his hair. It occupies him and lets him think he is helping. Now my son will tell my husband when it is time for a hair cut instead of convincing us to wait another day! =o) good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Phoenix on

You might actually be surprised and find out that your son is better when other people cut his hair. For an experiment, you might try taking him to one of the kid-friendly hair cutters (like Cool Cuts For Kids) where he can sit in a car of fire truck chair, watch a movie or play a video, and you can just stand back and let them do their thing. I wouldn't even mention to them his fear. The reason I say this isn't to be mean to your little guy at all or to not seem like I care about his fears. It's just that our kids pick up on our anxieties VERY well. When you gear up to give him a haircut, you're already dreading it, he senses that, your husband who's holding him probably tenses up in anticipation for a struggle...all of that sends signals to him that this is something he should be concerned about! :o) Plus, I guarantee you that if he does break down at the hair cutters, he won't be the first kid to do so. Go someplace fun afterwards, make it a fun trip out, and he might end up like my my son who wants to have his hair cut EVERY time he sees a salon. (My daughter took a few times to get to that stage, but I finally stopped saying anything to the stylist when I went in and everyone was happier. How crazy is that? The stylists can get nervous when they expect the worse, too.) Good luck! You guys will get through this. Your life sounds very much like ours, except we have one of each. :o)

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M.S.

answers from Tucson on

Your story sounds exactly like what we went through with our son. We tried things to keep his mind off of it like headphones with his music or suckers, toys, but honestly nothing worked except time. I felt the same way about going to the salon so we waited until he was comfortable with the buzzers at home first. I think he was about 3 or just turning four but it got better each time. If Daddy did it without me in the room it seemed better. Hope it gets easier for you.

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L.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Ohh. do I totally feel your pain. My son is 5 and it wasn't until the last year did he sit still and it wasn't until the very last cut a month ago, did he sit in the chair by himself. He's beginning to outgrow it. I have even been refused service at one salon (Cool Cuts on Warner & Gilbert) because he was throwing such a fit. I drove crying all the way to the one salon that will cut his hair, fits or no fits. They are awesome. They will cut hair through anything. One time my son was so bad, right after his cut we went and bought them flowers and took the flowers back to them. It's Mini Cuts on the SE corner of Ray and McClintock ###-###-####. We always make an apt with Matina or Shannon. We would offer my son "incentives" to sit still. Things like ice cream, going out to lunch, a toy, going to a movie, etc. The great thing about Mini Cuts is now there is an ice cream shop right next door. To get my son to sit in the chair by himself, I offered 2 (not 1 but 2 :-) ) scoops of ice cream. He did it. And he was so proud. I guess I would suggest incentives (but at 2 your son might not understand). If you want to go to a salon, you could take him there on a day you don't have an apt and let him see what the place is all aobut. We would take my son to Mini Cuts and let him play with the toys there when we didn't even have an apt and when we did have an apt, we would go a few minutes early so he could have time to play and get aclamated to the place. The people at Mini Cuts will blow bubbles, play movies, do whatever it takes to distract him while they are cutting. If your son will sit still, they can cut his hair with scissors only and not use the clippers. At some point, your son will outgrow it. Hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi D.,
As an OT I want to big-time back up what Shelley C. wrote in her reply: that is just good, clean common sense.

On non-haircut days, let him play with the clippers a few minutes at a time (closely monitored, of course). Let him turn them on/off. Put them on Mommy's leg (hey, free leg-shave!). Hold it, etc.

Once he's more comfortable (after a couple days), gently ask if you can touch it to his palm, arm, leg: wherever he says is okay, but only where he gives you permission. After a couple days of this, he should be "ok" with the head area, especially if he can "watch you" in a mirror.

This may solve it forever, or you may need to allow extra play-times over the next few months starting a week or so before haircut day. Whatever works for you and your cutie!
T

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J.G.

answers from Phoenix on

Are the clippers dull? Are they well lubricated? Make sure you use clipper oil after each haircut. Maybe the clippers are pulling on his hair.

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L.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, my husband tells me that the clippers are very loud by his ears, which he has sensative ears and that it vibrates like one of those massagers on his head. With those sensations to a child might not feel good. Try putting those squishy ear plugs to muffle sound and maybe have your son turn on and off the clippers a few times to see that they won't hurt him. Have him set up a special chair where he might be able to color a picture and each time tell him if he doesn't scream and yell and works real hard on his picture he makes you can hang it each time in a special place for all to see what a big boy he is.
Good luck- L.

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M.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

If you use a gaurd on the clippers try letting him use them. Put a higher gaurd on the clippers so that he doesn't cut much. If he sees that they are harmless then it may calm him down. This is what I had to do with my three year old and now hair cuts are much easier and we don't have to hold him anymore. Good Luck I know its hard.

M.

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C.K.

answers from Tucson on

Hmmm...what if you put his favorite movie on, or maybe headphones playing fun kids CD so the noise isn't as loud? What about a lollipop or special treat reserved just for haircutting time?

You could also try desensitizing him to the sound of the clippers by turning them on near him while he's doing something unrelated. If dad is game, maybe he can use the clippers to trim daddy's leg hair - just to show him that it doesn't hurt and that it can be fun ;)

Best,
C.

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K.

answers from Phoenix on

Try letting him hold and touch the clippers while they are off and then let him hold and touch them when they are on. Turn them off and on and make a game of it. Tell him it will tickle his neck. This is how we got my now 4 yr old over his fear of them. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Well I have been doing hair for 5 years plus and this is not un common for children to do. My son has the same fits and it just takes time.. Most clippers are loud and the feeling of them vibrating on there head scared them. I have cut hair on little ones and I have the patients to deal with the crying and the moving around. Put a bigger guard on the clippers and let him cut his hair while your husband holds him but the timmers on his belly with a gard on it and let it tickel him a little. It makes him think its a tickel monster and when you cut his hair as you put the timmers to his head say the tickel monsters gonna get you. Make it a game and he should start calming down.. As a professional we are use to having a child cry and it is just letting them get over there fears. If you take him somewhere let them know he is scared and you request that you have someone who can make the cut fun and afterwards reward him with a sucker or such. It has helped with my son but he is autistic and scared of noises so nothing has worked but me buying very expensive clippers that he is not affraid of because they are quiet and most hair dressers have the quiet clippers and that makes a difference and with the scissors what do all parents tell there children if you touch they will give you an owee and that makes them scared of them too. Good luck i know a few othere hair dressers that are great with kids if you would like there names but I am not sure where you live.. Good luck

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S.P.

answers from Phoenix on

With my boys, sitting them in front of a mirror so they can see it rather than having it "sneak up on them" helped, but at 2 kids normally have irrational fears of noisy things. Another friend put her son in front of the TV so he could watch a movie during his haircut.

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M.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi D. - I went through the very same thing with my son! Come to find out, if you don't use the clippers just right, it pulls their hair Apparently that's what I was doing :( I started taking my son to Cool Cuts 4 Kids...it took a couple of visits for him to really warm up, but now he loves getting a haircut! They have video games and movies that the kids can pick from to play/watch while they are getting their hair cut. We go to the one on Cactus by the PV Mall, but there are several around the Valley! and their prices are reasonable...with the tip, it's around $20. check them out - it might save you a lot of tears :)

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J.C.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't have any real advice as to what worked for us, but my son did eventually outgrow this stage. Once he turned four he just decided one day that he didn't like his hair in his eyes. I said, "Well, if you would let the girls cut it at the salon, then your hair wouldn't be in your face." He agreed that he was ready to get his hair cut. Of course, this was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so finding a salon that wasn't packed was an issue. We ran into Supercuts and he sat still the ENTIRE time and never once cried. He has been a perfect patron ever since.

We, too, had to cut his every month,so it was always a challenge. I would try to stay calm and relaxed myself and that sometimes helped. We also would give him a sucker while he sat, which sometimes helped, but not everytime.

I do have to say, however, that the girls at Lollilocks on ValVista and Baseline, were the most patient and kind girls that we ever had. He squirmed and fought the entire time and still got a wonderful haircut. It is really a salon geared more for little girls, but they do have a car, an elephant and one other novelty chair for the children to sit in. I hope this helps. I guess the number one thing to remember is that this too shall pass:)

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E.D.

answers from Tucson on

i have a son who was exactly like that. he has sensory issues, and the noise was actually painful for him, as well as the vibration. try letting him watch movies when you cut his hair, or let him listen to an mp3 player with earbuds, or if that doesn't work, use scissors.

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S.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Where I take my son they first let him touch the clippers to see it is going to "tickle" him. My son normally does pretty well but, the older he gets the harder it is. The last time..this is gross...the last time we went the lady gave him a sucker and he cried a little here and there but, he was very concentrated on the sucker. However, since candy is sticky he had hair everywhere.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

I can't remember how those things work, but can you take off the attachment on top and let him "give" a teddy bear a haircut? Maybe if he gets to see how it works he might think it is fun. I remember my kids enjoying going to the pediatric dentist because he let them touch everything and examine it before he used it on them.

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S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Try putting headphones on him and letting him listen to music or a video.
Good luck, The Mommy Mentor

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M.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I recently took my son, 6, to Cool Cuts for Kids. Oh my gosh, what a different child getting a hair cut. They get their choice of a movie or video game while they clip away. He hardly even noticed. Good Luck!

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D.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you let him hold the clippers and cut the hair from an old stuffed animal? Have you let him see you use them on your husband? Has he ever been pinched by them? If so, let him know that if he keeps his head still, it won't pinch. Have you tried putting an egg timer in front of him or having Daddy and him say the ABCs or sing a song so that he knows how much time it will take and then can wait that long? Of course, let him know that you would never hurt him on purpose. THen tell him how handsome he looks after the haircut. Good luck!

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P.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Is there any reason why you NEED to use clippers? Perhaps it's better to take him to a salon, where the stylist can give him the haircut you want without using clippers.

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C.E.

answers from Phoenix on

I bring my son to Cool Cuts. You might just want to try this until he realizes that he's not going to get hurt. They have great distractions there like cartoons. I also have them use scissors instead of clippers and they do a great job.

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F.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi D.!
I read your comments and story and the first thing I thought of was using ear plugs. It is worth a try. I would also maybe try putting a movie on for him while you cut his hair with scissors. He may just have ultra sensitive hearing and therefore the electric razor is over the top for him. And now he has an association with the razors no matter what.

My son, who is very sensitive to loud noises would never let me cut his hair with a razor so we went to scissors and then eventually the salon where we went was able to use an electric razor after a while on his neck area. My son, 4 years old, really loves to watch a movie or have animal crackers/pretzels while he gets his haircut. Incentives are always helpful too.

I have also used a natural herbal rememdy to settle down my 4 year old. You can get them at the grocery store usually if not the natural food store. They are called Highlands Calm Forte. They are little white chalky tablets that they just put in their mouth and they dissolve but they help calm within 15 minutes. Worth a try.

Hope that is helpful in some way. Best of luck!!

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