How Do I Get My 5-Year-Old to Stop Peeing in Her Pull-up at Night??

My first son was dry at night easily and my second took years. I decided to let him grow out of it rather than make a deal of it. For him it took a very long time, but eventually happened.

There is strong evidence suggesting that the pull-ups do delay full potty training- the little ones don't feel the wet and are familar with the diaper effect... Have you tried taking them from her at night?

I woke my kids up right before i went to bed.. like 11. I would lift them up.. 1/2 asleep.. take them to the bathroom..sit them on the bowl..hold onto them.. tell them ok go pee pee.. they would.. i would put them back to bed.. and till this day.. i hear them get up on their own now.. around 11 or 12.. to go... they are both 9 and 12.. it worked for us.. hope it works for you too. another thing.. get rid of the pull ups.. try undies and a water proof sheet.. those pull ups.. make kids go in them.. they get used to.. they won't like the wet feeling in the reg. pants.. good luck - ps. tell them that the pants are to small now.. they have to give them up

There is no magic answer to this. I had 2 sons who were wetters still at age 7. With the advice of the pediatrician I bought the bed wetter alarm. It worked like magic for #1 but not at all for #2 son. I did get each boy up at 11 pm to pee. This was in the dark ages before pullups. I washed sheets, and blankets every day until my son was 10. He felt terrible about being a wetter. We assured him it was no big deal and lots of kids did it but they just didn't tell their friends. Well, he's all grown up and hardly remembers that part of his childhood. He just remembers the good stuff. By the way, when he went to other houses for sleepovers he took a sleeping bag and slept in that. Usually he did not wet. I guess you don't sleep as soundly at someone else's house. But if he did, he just slipped out of the wet sleeping clothes while still in the sleeping bag, hopped in the shower and put on his clean stuff without anyone the wiser. He rolled up the sleeping bag and brought it home with wet jammies in it and we plopped them in the washer.

Well...You're going to have to get up at least once and take her to the Bathroom in the middle of the night... If she goes to bed at 8pm, take her to pee then and again right before you go to bed (even if it's at 10pm) and then set alittle non-disturbing your spouse/Bf alarm to wake you up about 4 hrs after you've taken her last. You'll get better results and eventually she'll stop, if you make this effort. Best of Luck to you...

CC

All kids are different.
I have 3 children. My one son wet at night till he was around 12 yrs old. My daughter will be 10 yrs old in November and she still wets at night.
The doctor found nothing wrong with either of them.
With my son, we put him on a medication to help called DDAVP. We decided to forgo the meds with my daughter and see what happens. She is a very small child (the size of a 6 yr old) and its a good possibility that her bladder hasn't grown enough.

I would suggest talking to your doctor first. Once you are sure the problem isn't medical, then you can decide what to do.

I have found that the kids are embarrassed enough as it is, without parents making a big deal over it. As long as it isn't on purpose, or from being lazy, try not to make a big deal over it. Keep on with the Goodnights/pull ups so she has the security she needs.

Honestly, dealing with urine soaked sheets and clothing let alone the mattress is terrible. You can never quite get all of the smell out of it. And seriously, who wants to do bedding laundry every single day?

I hope you can get some relief from the uneasy feelings youa re having over this...we all hate to see our kids go through this kind of stuff. But, the best thing to do is show as much support as you can and keep trying to help her through it all.

My daughter was dry at night very young but my son was not dry until he was over 6. The doctor told me that it was normal. For some, it takes longer to stay dry at night.

If he is going bed late, that can be a factor too because they go into such a deep sleep and don't have control over holding their urine.

My son is five and a half and soaks his pullups every night. His twin has been sleeping without a pullup since she was three. Every child is different and you can't compare them. I know that every child develops a hormone that slows down the bladder at night. That's why adults can go all night without having to go. In some children it takes longer to mature. My advice is to keep up with the pullups and not make a big deal out of it. Making it an issue won't help the matter and will only make her feel bad about something she can't help. Getting tuff and putting her in panties so she can wet the bed will only frustrate her and you. I'm sure she'll be dry when she starts college so don't fret. ;-)

J., I see you received many responses that I haven't had a chance to read (so may be repeating something), but ... My son had been potty trained since he was about 2 1/2, but still relied on his pull-up at night until he was almost 3 1/2. We tried everything you listed, he is a very sound sleeper (generally a great thing) and we also tried waking him up during the night to go the bathroom.

One night we just decided it was enough, explained to him what we were doing and put him to bed in his underwear. Amazingly enough, after taking away the pull-ups, he was able to make it through the night without wetting himself and even wakes up to go the bathroom when he needs to. There will be accidents, but just make sure there is a good waterproof matress. I would give this a try before moving on to more serious actions, children can sometimes really surprise us. Good Luck!

Hi J.,
Some children take longer for their bladder to mature to nighttime control. It's not medically considered bedwetting til age 6, and is still in the normal range for some years after.
Some people suggest waking her during the night to toilet. I don't recommend this. Nighttime "training" (which you can't actually do, it's something that just happens naturally) isn't teaching them to wake to pee, it's the bladder maturing to the point that it does not need to be emptied regularly at night. Training her to need to wake to pee is going to get her bladder used to emptying at night, as opposed to the desired result of holding urine til the morning.
Is your daughter upset about wetting? Are you certain that it's accidental and do you know when it's happening - is it one big wetting or is she peeing a couple of times in the night? Check the diaper before you go to bed or if you happen to wake in the night to try to figure this out. When you change her in the morning, does it seem like the diaper has been wet a long time, or like she just peed in it? I ask because some kids will go in a disposable pullup which isn't too uncomfy when wet rather than get up to use the toilet during the night or when they first wake up. My friend suspected this was the case with her 4 year old, and she dealt with it by diapering him at night in a cloth diaper. Once he had a couple of mornings in a sopping wet cloth diaper, he decided to get out of bed to use the toilet.
Good luck, and know that if it's just middle of the night wetting when she is sleeping, there is nothing that she can do to stop it, time alone will take care of that.

Just before you go to bed get her up, walk her to the bathroom, set her on the poty and tell her to pee. Wait a few minutes or until she does and then put her back to bed. My parents had to do this with my brother because he slept so sound that his brain didn't respond to his need to pee. A.

Hi. Have you tried putting her in underwear and then waking her right before you go to bed(10-11pm) ? Put her on the potty and she will probably pee. Do it for about a week. My doctor recommended this to me when my middle child, also a girl, was still wet at night and ended up with a yeast infection. It worked for us. She was dry from the first day. I did have to do it again a couple of weeks later for a few days because she had a couple of accidents, but after that we were done. Good Luck.

She may not be able to control herself when she is asleep. Some children are so deep in sleep that nothing wakes them. This can go on pre-teen. Don't make a big deal of it. Just praise her when she is dry in the morning. This to shall pass.

Every child is different so even though your older child was dry through the night at 3 it has nothing to do with your child now. The maturity issue is with the bladder moreso than anything. Bedwetting doesn't seem to be viewed as badly as it used to be and you hear about it affecting children up to age 8 and 10 sometimes.

Are you using Pull Ups or Good Nights? The reason I ask is my older children still wear the Good Nights (5 and 7) and they rarely wake up completely soaked. Limiting drinks for us hasn't worked either so we are just waiting it out and not making them feel bad about it. The times they do wake up completely soaked, it doesn't phase them. They are such heavy sleepers so to me, letting my children sleep in their pee all night as I know they would without realizing it is just disgusting. Maybe your daughter would be different and wake up and maybe it would be worth trying but personally I'd rather mine throw a pull up away then to deal with the mess wearing underwear creates.

Wish you the best.

L.

We did the pull ups w/our oldest daughter & I vowed never to do them w/our youngest. I bought her all sorts of pretty undies & stocked up on the rubber pants - you may also want to get those waterproof pads too. It's funny how sometimes they seem so grown up & then they have set backs. But you know what, I always try to look at things as not being so bad because out there is someone who may have things a little crazier. Another suggestion may be to wake your daughter up before you go to bed so she can try to go. Good luck!

My daughter is 5 years old and still wakes up with a wet pullup every morning. I asked the pedatrician about it and he told me that either 1.)she is a heavy sleeper and just can't wake up when she pees or 2.)her bladder is matured yet(he said most kids bladders don't mature until the age of 6 or so) or a combo of both. I was also told not to limit water before bed - don't give them a huge 16oz glass of it, but allow them a little if they ask. I get frustrated myself, I keep thinking she is 5 now and should be able to wake up dry. I have to remind myself she will do this when her body is ready and not to push it, but gently encourage. Hope this helps and good luck!

My younger one would sleep so soundly at night, she would wake up wet, and there I was washing sheets but I would just tell her to wake me up if she needs to go, but she just slept. I knew she would outgrow it and she did.........well, she's 22 now, and finished college and has dry sheets, lol. Be patient, this too shall pass.

I have a 5 year old boy who is still wet at night. He was completely potty trained (daytime) at 3 but the nights , not so much. I have talked to our peditirician about this alot. Unfrotunatly this runs in families (my husbands family had it). We wake him up when we go to bed at night and make him go, to "train" him and have had some success when we are consistant. As far as taking the pull ups away, persoanlly I wouldn't. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to change wet sheets and jammies everynight. Our peditrician sayas that he will grow out of it by the age of 7. So we cut out drinking after 5:30 and wake him up and hope that this will work. Good Luck, let me know how it goes.

Hi J., I see there are already alot of responses and i appreciate their advice also. My daughter will be 5 in Sept. and she fills a pull-up at night. I wasn't sure what course of action to take. My ped. said do nothing but I felt like I should. After reading these responses and doing a little research I have to agree with the theory that there is nothing to be done. The objective is getting her bladder used to holding whatever fluid is in her system all night long. That is, not having her get used to waking up in the night to pee or eliminating fluids after 5pm. Her bladder would just get used to these things and not learn to function as it should. Also, I personally wet the bed until I was in the 6th grade. It was extremely humiliating so I feel for her and would not let on that it annoys or bothers you. i would also not take away the pull-up. I would have given anything for a pull-up when I was younger just to spare me the humiliation of being wet every morning. I hope this helps, it has helped me too. thanks! A.

I would take away the pull up! Get a water proof pad and go from there. She will get sick of being WET! And stop. also check with the dr too just in case.

I have responded to this many times. Is your daughter a deep sleeper. I was and was a bed wetter. Taking the pull-ups away isn't going to stop this. It's just going to drive you crazy because you'll have to change her bed everyday and a shower every morning. I was a very deep sleeper and wet my bed until I was 12. And honestly, I would see myself get up out of bed, go into the bathroom and sit down. The problem, I was dreaming it all. There is a system that worked for me, but it's not cheap (or it wasn't). There is a contraption that you snap to the front of your panties that when it gets wet it beeps. It attaches to a wrist band that is the "beeper" and it wakes you. It's kind of like conditioning (Thank you Pavlov and his dog). But that is what worked for me.

Take her to the doctor and make sure she does not have a urinary tract infection. Not to scare you but my sister had the same problem at that age and it turned out that she had a few UTI's and reflux into her kidneys and ended up having surgery. This was over 20 years ago, so by the time they caught it, she had severe damage to one of her kidneys, and to this day, only one of her kidneys functions properly. Since your daughter is 5 and is old enough to understand, it sounds like it is an involuntary thing that would not be helped by taking away the pull-up. Sometimes it's just a normal maturity thing, but you should still make sure that she does not have a structural abnormality.

i have no advice for the problem, but at her age and in her sleep, she isnt making a conscience decision to wet in the night so i dont think she can stop by not liking the feel of the pee. im sure she isnt feeling good about this problem anyway at her age and would stop if she could. i would wake her in the middle of the night to see if it makes a difference and def discuss the prob with you pedi. good luck.

Hello J.,

My daughter (almost 17) wet the bed almost to present day. We (the doctors and I) had determined that her body hasn't matured (yes even at almost 17) - she is also ADD - and was taking medications to curb her wetting - I'm proud to say that she's FINALLY not wetting the bed anymore.

Now this is not to suggest that your daughter is ADD or anything like it.

She may just outgrow this in the years to come.

Have you consulted with your doctor to see if there maybe a medical issue with her bladder/kidneys? Ultrasounds for before and after voiding to see how much is left in her bladder? Something you may want to look into.

Here are some suggestions though that may 'curb' her urge to wet during the nite -

1- I saw a suggestion for one of those nighttime alarms where you insert it into her underwear (or pullup) - in my opinion - and personal life of trying this unit - it isn't worth spending that kind of money. My daughter never woke up to the alarm - only the whole house did - and getting her out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom was more of a headache than it was worth. Also - the unit 'rotted' out due to the urine - even after CLEANING it after every 'alarm'.

2 - if it is at all possible - have her go to the bathroom every 2 hours - whether she has to or not. This can get her into a routine of going. You can purchase a watch with an alarm on it and set it to go off in 2 hours and then reset it after she's gone to the bathroom. Also, while she's in the bathroom - have her sit there for at least 3-5 minutes to give her body the chance to relax and go. Let her do a puzzle or play a video game (like a gameboy) while on the toilet to let the time pass.

3 - eliminate ALL liquids and foods after dinner. If she eats, she'll be thirsty. I did read another response which stated that she thought that this was a form of punishment, however, I don't agree. If your daughter is indeed thirsty, give her enough to quench her thirst - not a full cup - but more than a sip. A bathroom sized "dixie" cup should suffice and only be filled 3/4 of the way and only filled once - just enough for a mouth full.

4- continue with her going to the bathroom before bed.

5- I don't agree with taking away the pull ups (unless she's outgrown them) I think this will only do more harm than good - to her self esteem and to the mattress!

6 - keep the lines of communication open. If she wets, she should be able to tell you without you getting upset/angry/distraught...etc.

7 - if she wets, she needs to wash - plain and simple. I'm sure you are already doing this :) - if she's soaked through to the sheets - she needs to clean them as well (or at least strip the bed if you don't want her washing them)

Good luck - I know how you feel - I've been going through this for MANY YEARS and many mattresses later!

Hi J.,

I understand what you are going though!!
My daughter who is almost seven just stopped with bed-wetting. Unfortunately you just have to wait it out until the body matures. Yes it is annyoing, but don't take the pull-up away from her, it will only make her feel worse and more work for you cleaning the mess. All the best to you.

Hi, My son is going to turn 5 in November and is still in a pull up at night as well. I put on his pull up right before bedtime and recently noticed he was going in it before we went up stairs to bed. He knows he can go in this and is comfortable with it even though I make him go before he puts it on. I am at a loss. If you get any good advise please share with me. I am desperate....

J.

I don't think there is anything you can do with the exception of limiting drinks before bed and possibly waking her up before you go to bed and have her use the bathroom. My son wet the bed until he was around ten years old. It was not every night but it happened quite often. When i had him checked out there was nothing physically wrong with him. I do know he is a very sound sleeper. I did wake him up at around eleven before i went to bed and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. My biggest problem was i felt sorry for him because he would not attend sleepovers because he was worried he would have an accident. I think it is a physical maturity more than anything. If it is helpful at all he did eventually grow out of it on his own. Try not to make an issue of it.

Yes, just take the pull up away. It will take a few days of laundry every day, but soon her brain will click in. Feeling wet and waking up is awful, so once it happens a few times, her brain will start waking her up midway thru a pee and then before she even starts. Good luck!

J., as you have read, every child is different and please don't be mad at her nor compare her to her sister. If you do, that can cause dividson between them and resentment from the 5 1/2 yr old and "Mommy likes me better than you" from the other one. I know that I have heard that some children do that and sometimes it's just something the bladder can't wake up the individual but also, there are other children who have some things on their minds that can cause that too. Again, every child is different. I have read one request who said that she told her child to clea herself up and clean the sheets...that is questionable in mind and I guess it depends on how you bring that across to a child. You know her personality. Is she soo sensitive that if you say that would she feel that she did something horrible and you won't love her anymore? Would she understand about cleaning herself up and put on clean sheets? I love tht other request, wake her up and have her pee again just before you go to bed..but will she g o back to sleep? Again, you're the mother, you'll know and sometimes as mothers we try things to see what works best. Let us know how it goes and I'll pray for you and your family...especially your little girl there.

Hi, I have the same problem but now my son is 7 and is still wearing a pull up on at night only and no accidents during the day. I just took him to the pedi about the problem. He suggested I get a bed wetting alarm. It's a small beeper like thing that you clip on to the pull up or the pj's and when it gets wet it will sound off like an alarm (it also has a vibrating mode) my pedi explained that although it sounds off after the bed wetting it trains the brain to start to wake up in time. The problem is that some children are such sound sleepers their brain doesn't tell them in time to wake up. My pedi said to only try this method if I have patiants and the time to devote to it. It will take up to 4 months of closely watching my son. This devise can be bought at a surgical supply store but I looked it up on line and they run somewhere around $50 to $75. I plan on trying it but I am waiting until school starts in a few weeks since then we will be going back to routine. If you think this is something that will work for you I would love to keep in touch with the progress of our children. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions @ ____@____.com thanks and good luck D.

Hi J.

My 6 year old daughter is in the same soggy boat. She has had as many as three nights in a row where her pullup was dry, and then she'll be soaked for two or three mornings. My husband said that his sister used to wet the bed until she was a little older, maybe 8 or 9. In our case, we think it's heredity and the fact that our daughter is a deep sleeper. Her three older siblings were dry at night by age four at the latest, only having accidents when they were ill.

We're taking the approach that when it's time, she'll be able to be dry. Until then, we are telling her that she's going to be fine and someday she'll be able to be pull-up free. It won't do any good to have us all feeling bad or guilty about it.

Good luck and try to remember that every child matures differently.

R.

Not all children make oit through the night at early ages. My best recommendation is to talk to your pediatrician. I have a friend whose daughter is 9 years old and she still wets at night (wearing a pull-up). This past year they finally went though a battery of tests and fortunately they found nothing of great concern. The pediatrician says that eventually she will gain better control of her bladdder--they may try using an alarm system (designed for this issue) to wake her at night. Another friend has a son who just stopped wetting at night at the age of 8.

Good luck!

Hi J., This is a tough problem, I am not looking forward to it with my two babies. I just wanted to say that I have been getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night since I can remember. I never learned to hold it all night. I don't remember my mom teaching me to get up and go (she probably did for a little while) I went by myself. I know I was getting up to go before 5 years. I'm so used to it that I can just go and then get right back to sleep. So it might be worth a shot to try and get her to use the bathroom in the night, I know that is annoying, but it seems that the whole situation is annoying anyway. Maybe fun night lights on the way to the bathroom would help. I would've liked that!

ps I ALWAYS wake up btw 2:30 and 3:30, I bet she goes at about the same time every night as well. Try 1 or 2 am everynight for a week and see if she starts going by herself. I know it's annoying!

We had that as well- we pulled the pull up away for a few nights to see when she peed in the night (wether is was first thing in the morning or when she was sound alseep). What happened for us is about 4am she would come in to my room shivering cold. So the pull ups went back on and in time things changed, When the pull up was dry for a few nights in a row, we asked her about stopping the pull up and she took control of it as we layered the sheets and plastic covering so in the middle of the night we didn;t have to change it but just strip a layer. At that point we knew it might be possible for her to stay dry. That "try" she still peeded a few times a week but began to get me when it was still warm. So began training the brain at that point. Still at this point when she is over tired,or visiting realatives, the bed still often gets wet. Many kids though have trouble with the night times and that one reason why pampers is now making the "underwear" for older kids. Remember this night time process is a development and not something necessarily taught or learned.The bed wetting becomes embarressing so the more matterof fact I can make it the better the process seems to go.

Hi J., My son is turning 4 in september it was hard to train him and i felt like it took forever because i kept trying and he was just not ready. Well anyway, at the end of June I decided to just put him in underwear all the time and ditch the pull ups even at night. I wake him between 11pm & 1 am -depending on when he goes to sleep - on the very early hour that he goes to sleep like 7-7:30 I wake him between 11-12 if he has a hard time falling asleep at night & it ends up being a little later i wake him closer to 12:30-1 I have him go to the bathroom practically in his sleep most days he doesn't even remember and then he is good until 7am sometimes even later. And because he is wearing underwear all the time he is learning to control and hold it in more & more. The pull ups are too much of a security for them they know they can get it wet and besides they dont have control over their bladder @ this age. I find that waking my son works for me so that I do not have to change his sheets & wash all his linens & blankets every day, its less stressful for me & it works. Don't stree eventually their little bladders do mature. Good Luck!
J. B.

Hi J.,
being that u already tried letting her pee before bed you have to actually take that extra step and wake her in the middle of the night to personally escort her to the bathroom.even if you have to pee first while she waits to know what you're doing...than you get up and put her up there and wait until she goes.hopefully she will get the point that that's one of her times to go to the bathroom..and tell her she's mommy's big/good girl...see how that works...hopefully she gets tired of you waking her and either she adjusts to that time to go or be tired from u waking her and go herself...good luck..oh by the way,,,u dont want her to pee the bed to see how uncomfortable it feels to her n order for her to stop she might get adjusted to peeing the bed...then u will have a next problem..

I don't have too many details as i have only a 3yr old..BUT.. i do rmember my friend going thru this with her 7 yr old boy still,, and I remember her telling me it was a medical thing something kidneys, not to scare you at all - I wanted to second the one post I saw where it was in fact medical, may as well check it out make sure everything is perfect with no infections then you know all is well though a nuisance. Good Luck.

The past two pediatricians I have spoken to have both told be the same thing about night time accidents: it has to be an active decision on the part of the child - there's nothing you can do to flip the switch that says, "get up and go pee." My daughter is almost 4 1/2 and still wears a pull-up to bed. We encourage her every night to remember that if she wakes up, that she should go potty - but so far we're still working on it. Both pediatricians have told us that it may take a child until they're 7 or 8 to make this leap. Hang in there!

A good friend of mine had the same problem with her daughter. She used some type of alarm contraption that attached to her daughters underwear and at the slightest hint of moisture it went off, woke her daughter in time to get herself to the bathroom. I think it took a couple of nights but after using it supposedly trained her body to wake up at the urge to urinate. This was a few years ago, I can find out exactly what she used and where you can find it if you think you might be interested. Good luck.

Hi J.,

If you believe she can control herself at this point, then remove the pullup.

However, many children just don't have large enough bladders yet to make it overnight. Just because one child does at 3, does not mean that your 5 year old does, so I personally wouldn't worry too much about it. My oldest didn't stop wetting the bed until he was 13. None of the others have had that problem.

I personally do not believe in limiting fluids or waking a child up. As you know from having infants, it is very hard to live life when tired from waking up in the middle of the night. Why do that to your child over a little thing like pee? As for limiting fluids. If I'm thirsty...I drink...I would be pretty miserable if someone told me I couldn't have some water if I felt thirsty. Just my opinions.

D.

Hi J., I think your last idea is right. Get a good mattress pad and take the pull ups off. She needs to learn to get up and pee in the night or hold it. Grandma Mary

Mom,

They either get it or they don't

My oldest wet the bed for the longest time

my middle not ONE accident

I suggest letting her drink, just no soda or juice, MILK or water is fine.

The reason MOST bed wetters wet is they are heavy sleepers,
I have found that putting them to bed EARLIER actually works better.

Reason is because they don't sleep as heavy, because they aren't AS tired.

bedtime should be around 730pm
if she has a tv in her room, it should be turned off no later than 8pm.

THEN right before you go to sleep, bring her to the bathroom
( 10 or 11 pm)

Last little tid bit, you might be saying its too difficult to get her to sleep that early, due to dinner and bath ect..

I say MOM change your routine, it helps

If your already going to bed at that time, thaen there isn't much you can do but wait til her bladder matures ,
but withholding food and drink is a punishment.

Good luck

M
Mother of 3