My son did the SAME THING at that age! I made two major changes to change his eating habbits (which still are not great, but it's a lot easier to handle). First, I stopped buying the chicken nuggets because they are so bad for you (deep fried and all that fat/salt/cholesterol) I didn't want to set a trend. Second, I made sure to give him something for lunch that I knew he liked (this was ONLY to make ME feel better so I knew he was eating something other than breakfast), and third, and most IMPORTANT, I instituted a rule that what mom makes for dinner is what is served. 1) you will be given a helping of everything 2) you may choose to eat it or not to eat it (and mom/dad won't make a big deal if you don't) and 3) if you do not FINISH your dinner, there is NO OTHER FOOD TONIGHT...PERIOD. I enforce these rules every single night without fail. Sometimes my son chooses to eat nothing at all from the time I pick him up from daycare at 4pm until the next morning when he gets cereal while I'm getting ready for work...others eats everything, others he picks and plays with his food. BTW, he will be 4 in one month and I've been doing this since he turned 2. The rule is basically, "eat what you are given or go hungry". I used to have to take bags of chicken nuggets to his daycare for him to eat for lunch because he would not eat the food they serve (including Korean food....we are caucasian)When he turned 2, I told his teachers I would no longer supply the chicken nuggets they requested me to bring for his lunch and that if he was hungry enough, he would eat. At first he held out because he expected the nuggets he always got, but after a while his teachers told me that he started trying their food and sometimes even eats it. He is still a picky eater, as I'm sure most toddlers/pre-schoolers are, but I have a lot less stress in my life now that I have these ground rules in place. No child that age will starve themself...if they are hungry enough, they will eat. I once had a 2 day standoff over a hotdog and decided at that point that re-heating the refused food was not for me, but what I will do is keep the food he decides not to eat and if he asks for a snack later in the night,I will tell him he has 2 options...finish his dinner that he didn't eat earlier or do not eat anything. One thing you could do is try to make your food look like the babyfood from a jar...my mother used to mash up carots, peas, squash for my son instead of giving him the jar food when he stayed with her....he loved it and I knew there were no addatives.
I know this is getting long, but let me just leave you with one last thought. When I was a child, my brother and I were 2 years appart and both picky eaters...neither of us liked what our parents ate and if one of us likes something, the other was guaranteed to hate it. My mother dealt with it by cooking restaurant style....even into when I was in junior high and occasionally when I was in high school. She cooked 2 or sometimes 3 meals every single night because she wanted to make sure we would eat something and if we didn't like anything she cooked, she would make us a snack of our choosing later on. We loved it! But, as I became an adult and could not make myself eat food that I don't like (I'm 28 and still can't make myself eat a lot of things I don't care for) I wished that she had forced us to eat what was for dinner because I found myself not able to eat the food that was available. I would rather go hungry than eat something I dont' like, but I whole heartedly believe that I am that way because unlike most of my friend, if not all, I was not forced to eat what was there or at least try everything once before moving on to something I did like.
I do not want to tell you what is right for your situation because I am not you or your family, but just to share what is right for my family and why. It is so nice to not have to worry about cooking two seperate dinners because my son won't eat what the rest of us are having. We are very consistant with the rules, and he follows them. He used to ask for snacks adn things after dinner, but once he learned that we wont' give in, he stopped asking for the most part. Of course once in a while we have to remind him that he didnt' finish, but it's rare...and if he does finish dinner and wants somethign later on, we almost always let him have it so he knows that the rule is for when he does not finish dinner (or eat very well). Good luck! I know it's stressful having a picky eater (and being one LOL).