How Do I Find a Balance

Good Morning,
I am a single mom of three children for over thirteen years. When I first became single I had a 6mo, 18 mo and a 5yr old. There was no way that I could afford Day Care and bills while working full time with three kids and no child support. So I opened my own home daycare center. I went and applied with the state and got my license. I took it as a serious business and also became Nationally Accredited. I did not get rich doing this but it was enough money to pay the bills and feed the kids and have some extra on the side. I quit three years ago and went back to school to become an RN. I was able to balance the kids and home and school. Good luck

Hi,

I am a single mother of 3 little girls 5, 3, & 1yr old. Contact your local Texas Workforce, they have a childcare assistance program and as long as you are working 25 hours or more or attending school. They offer sudsidized childcare based upon the size of your family and your monthly income. I have all 3 of my girls in an awesome Montessori School that the childcare assistance program is paying for. You pay a co-payment that is dependent upon your income. It has been an awesome blessing for my family. They send you a huge list of childcare providers to choose from.

Well, I would suggest if you have a 4 year degree and you are interested.....you can get a teaching degree thru ESC Region 10 and I think some of the colleges do it too.....you work and learn at the same time. You have some night school involved, but maybe the childcare situation would not be as expensive. Also, you would be with your children and off when they are off. It is a reliable and rewarding job. You might check it out.

JT,
I too am a single mother that made the choice to have a kid with a pitiful non-helping dad. He is non-existent. My mother is a saviour most of the time for me...she helps me out tremendously. I have the same type of days as you, feast or famine days. It is very stressful. I am currently trying to make a business of my own take off in my field in which I have a degree. My daughter is 10. The positive side of your situation if you can see it is that you can spend valuable time with your kids that other parents may not be able to do. Many women, even though they are married, still feel just as alone as we do.

Also, this fall your kids will both go to elementary school, so no more daycare and you could search for a job that will fit more of a school schedule. This is what I will be aiming to do this fall.

I have also had a roommate before in my house to help me cut down on the bills. This can help if you have a good roommate, a dependable one that does not mind children.

Best wishes to you, we will consciously think positive thoughts for each other that good things will happen!!! Don't give up!!! We are the heroes that hold the world together! (remember that our future president (hopefully) is the product of a single mom!)

One suggestion is to find a job at your children's school. There are many jobs from the office work to teacher's aid that a degreed person could do. This way you are working when they are and on their hours. As a degreed person you could also look into Alternative Certification for Teaching then you can get paid through out the summer months also. Good Luck:)

Have you checked into the Guardian Adelim Program? Your divorce attorney should be aware of this particular state run child support agency. It is forced and you do not have to lift a finger once the GAP is activiated... The Texas Attorney General's Office is where this is based.

If you are medically inclined, have you thought about getting a two year degree in Nursing? Check into Collin County Community College. ADNs make about .50 less than the BSNs. There's nursing scholarships available... Again, check into CCCC.

Good luck.

Hi JT,
If you enjoy babysitting, check into jobs at a child care center or Day Schools. Many of the better paying centers require degreed preschool teachers. My son's teacher then brings her 10 y/o and 11 y/o kids to the center during the summer. This is usually free or extremly discounted. During the school year she is able to get off work when her kids get out in the afternoon. Also, when my sister was in your situation, she cleaned houses too, however she cleaned big homes, and had 4 clients a week. It was very consistent income, but it's your business so you gotta work it like you are the CEO of your own company.

I really have no advice for the next 6-8 weeks, but to start planning for the school year. Check into after-school programs from the YMCA (Partner's Campaign) or the Boys and Girls Club so that you may get subsidized care.

Also, schools offer subsidized meals so you can drop your children off at school for breakfast at 7:30 and pick them up by 6:00 from after school care. This pretty much covers your day -time five days a week.

Spend this time checking into those programs and looking for a jobs that pays a more steady income and one where you can begin once school starts.

Also, seek out friends who may be willing to help out when incidentals happen.

Finding balance comes easier when you are in control and not overly stressed. I know it is hard now, but pre-planning can help you be set for the fall.

Good luck.

HAve you applied for CCMS childcare assistance? They will help pay your daycare costs. When I ws single and my boys were little ( years ago) I had this assistance and paid $12 a week for childcare at a daycare center. There is usually a waiting list, but its really worth it!

Please call me - I, too, am a single mom and have a very interesting employment opportunity that you may be interested in. N. Creuzot ###-###-#### x223

JT,
I am going to go a little further and give you the telephone number for CCMS (Child Care Managed Services) which is administered through Work Force:
Plano Work Force Center
820 Jupiter Rd STE 100
Plano,TX 75074
###-###-####

Richardson Work Force Center
1222 E. Arapaho Rd Ste 336
Richardson,TX 75081
###-###-####

McKinney Work Force Center
1713 W. Louisiana St
McKinney,TX 75069
###-###-####

Dallas Stemmones Work Force Center
2707 Stemmons Frwy Ste. 150
Dallas,TX75207
###-###-####

You probably would qualify for WIC (Women,Infants and Children) as well as Medicaid.
With WIC you can receive a debit card that will help provide you with milk for your children as well as some other food items to help suppliment your food bills.
You can call their main number in Austin toll free 1-800-942-3678 to get more specifics and the nearest office.
For Medicaid and other services you can receive Dial 211 and then listen to all of the options you can press.
Good Luck!!!
H. G

Hi J T:

First off, you have to make yourself believe that you can do it. You obviously have drive and ambition, given that you have a degree and are raising two children on your own! Babysitting and cleaning tells me that you will do whatever it takes to take care of your family.

That being said, I was also a single mom for 6 1/2 years - without a degree. I had a decent apartment in a good neighborhood, a brand new car and a job paying $15.00/hr. We didn't have luxuries, like cable t.v., or a home phone b/c I used my cell. I only bought what was on sale; groceries and clothing. I had garage sales, and brought my son's clothes to consignment stores to re-sell. We didn't get to go to movies most of the time, or do all the costly fun things, but, we did make it!

I hope your 5 year old is starting school in the fall? If so, that's when you should pounce on job hunting. You may end up having to put your kids into a before and after school program (the YMCA has them at some schools and they aren't very pricey). Can the childrens' grandparents help a little towards this cost? Don't feel ashamed to ask your ex's parents for money for something like this. They can even make their check payable to the program so that they aren't actually giving 'you' money. They and/or your parents should hopefully see that you are trying to get out of a hole. This could probably only be a temporary situation until you start making some money.

Having a degree, you will be able to get a decent paying job and get ahead of the game in no time.

Good luck to you and your family. You truly sound like a supermom!

JT,

This may not sound like helpful advice, but have you seen the movie The Secret? It became very mainstream and popular after Oprah Winfrey endorsed it and had some shows on it.

The "secret" to achieving the successful life that awaits you can only be discovered by you. No one can tell you the "answer" that will uniquely fit your life. You have to find it yourself.

. . . But the movie can tell you how to get there.

http://www.gaiam.com/product/media-library/inspirational-...

http://www.thesecret.tv/

It's worth the money. Your son is probably old enough to watch it with you. I just bought a discounted copy of the original release on Amazon for, I think, $16. No, make that $13 - I just checked it again.

Good luck!

I am also a single mom since I was 4 months preg w/my youngest and my oldest was 13. It's been a Very challenging struggle but I have been blessed to have my parents for the love and the support to help me.
I have been babysitting since my son was a year and it's been very hard and never made ends meet but had to do it that way cause he was Very sick as a baby and now i am looking for work again now that my son is older so i can have a stable income and get back on my feet.

God is watching over us and he will not give us more than we can handle.
All we can do is pray and hope.