How Can I Motivate Someone Who Is Overweight to Try to Loose Weight?

You cannot do or say anything. He will lose weight only when HE decides he needs to. So let it go. Just cook healthy and do not keep junk food in the house.

My hubby was the same way. I made him go to the dr. for a physical. He came home not happy because now he is on heart med, cholesterol med, BP med, and a ton of vitamins. Like 14 things a day.

We've been going around and around for 6 months. Finally last month, he said, okay, when you were on that one diet where you lost a lot of weight, what did you do ... he was talking about Atkins. I told him not to do Atkins, but to take pieces of it and make it work for him.

The keys to Atkins that he is using...
1. Watching the carbs. He is trying to eat about 300 carbs a day. He works outside and is always on the go.
2. Each 5 times a day. In addition to breakfast, lunch, dinner, he has 2 snacks a day. I brought home some high protein bars and shakes. Each has at least 6 grams of protein and low carbs.
3. Drink more water. Even one glass makes a difference.
4. Go on family walks. If you walk as a family, he will go, and you will all benefit.

It's been about a month and he is down about 8 pounds....of the 30-40 he wants to shed.

Another thing to look in to is family yoga. It is considered a good family exercise, and a life exercise. It is a bit awkward at first, but you will shed the weight after a few weeks.

I can tell you from experience, you can't. In the last 16 months, I have gained 40 lbs. I am miserable by it. But until recently I couldn't find the motivation to do anything about it. I knew I needed to lose the weight, but mentally I wasn't there. My husband is thin, loves fruits and vegetables and has no problem eating healthy. He knew I was unhappy and tried encourage me, but it only made me mad. It made me feel worse. I know that wasn't his intention, but I still felt that way. This week, I finally made my commitment, but I had to find it myself. Until your husband wants to lose weight and finds his own motivation, you will only make it worse to push it on him.

Sorry, that might not be what you want to hear.

Your best options, probably, are to do the grocery shopping yourself, feed the rest of your family the healthy food, and not say anything else to your husband about his eating habits.

When you are saying to him, "I love you and I want you to be healthy," he's probably hearing, "I don't like you and I'm going to nag at you until you do what I say."

However, you can say, "Our son is getting out of control as far as his weight is concerned. The doctor says so, and I want you to help me get *him* healthy again." Ask him to encourage the children to eat the food plan you have for them. Don't lecture anybody.

Get involved *yourself* with your children; go walking, bike riding, hiking, anything that involves fresh air and exercise. Limit the TV, the videos, the computers, and don't use them as rewards. I don't know how old your children are, but if they can do some level of sports and like it, that may help them.

If your children say, "Well, Dad doesn't eat/do this stuff!" you can say, "We'll let Dad do his own thing until he wants to do ours." Don't bad-mouth him to the kids. Always treat and talk of him with respect.

Simply put, you can't. No matter what you say or do he is an adult and he will do as he chooses.

What you can do is make healthy meals and include a salad with low fat dressing with dinner every night. Keep more fresh fruit and veggies in the refrige and ready to eat. But you can't make him eat them. You can have the healthy food/body talk with him and stress issues such as heart disease and high blood pressure but that is about as far as you can go.

You might try something for shock value. Something like "honey, I want to go over our finances and estate planning and life insurance with you this weekend". When he acts startled by this or upset say "well if you keel over from a heart attack and leave me an the kids to fend for ourselves I want to make sure I have all the information I need". If that doesn't help him to see what he is doing to himself, nothing will.

You absolutely positively can't! that is all there is to it. And, if you do put it in "so many words" it is going to backfire at so badly that you won't even know what hit you. It might be that day, it might be in a month, or it might be 5 years later when the other person has had enough and finally tells YOU what for. Personally, I would not go there! I have been at the well meaning receiving end of "if you lost weight you would be ......add good things here" and you know what? It sucks, it causes emotional scarring, it hurts self esteem, self worth, self confidence, and can even cause the person to "show you" so that they eat more, gain more, and it gets a whole lot worse.

Leave your husband alone. My husband would tell you the exact same thing.

As for you son, you didn't say how old he is, but he should be helped by you and your husband, but without him knowing it. There are some things you can do that will help. We did these with my daughter, 4, and we are having a lot of success.

1. make plates in the kitchen and put them on the table
2. use smaller plates, instead of "dinner" plates use "luncheon" plates or if they are too small, then buy smaller dinner ones.
3. stop buying things he likes to snack on that aren't healthy calorie/content choices. For us this was chips, donuts, goodies, ice cream, etc. These we buy when she wants them and it is convenient for us. Don't deny them, just limit how much. I buy chips in the small bags, it is more expensive, but, it limits amounts and calories. Don't buy breakfasts that are high sugar without other positive stuff in them too.
4. Make sure he eats breakfast and often...that every 2-3 hours stuff makes a difference.

I hope this helps. I know it is a fine line to walk, but even if he needs to lose a little, its better to have an emotionally well balanced child than one who is working at losing weight and failing over and over or losing self worth. Good luck mama!

ETA - sorry - I didn't answer your question. You can't motivate your husband to lose weight. It's that simple. Think about it. Someone tells you something you don't want to hear? You either ignore it or become a donkey and stubborn as all get out.

He's NOT your child. He's your husband. Partner. He has to WANT to change. Something - not just his metabolism - is changing. Is he depressed?

Here was my wake-up call...my mom died on September 18, 2013. She died of pancreatic cancer. My doctor found out that my mom died (I'm friends on FB with his nurse) and he wanted me in for test so a baseline could be set. I went it. The numbers were bad. My blood sugar was 297. That's diabetic. Yes, stress causes numbers to go up. My doctor told me if I don't want to be on diabetic medication for the rest of my life? I needed to make some changes - NOW. I don't want to be on diabetic medication. So **I** made the decision to change. The weight isn't magically falling off. But it's coming off slowly. My blood sugar is dropping.

My husband is seeing a difference. He's cheering me on. Please. Ask your husband to go to the doctor and get checked out. See if there's something wrong. Then, leave him alone. Be a role model for your children. But STOP trying to force it. You will only create animosity and stress in the home. Your husband can tell he's gaining weight. He doesn't need you harping on him as well....would you want him harping on YOU???
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M.,

Stop telling your husband the meal is healthier, lower in fat, etc. Just fix it and put it on the table. If he doesn't eat it? that's HIS problem.

Fix him a lunch to take to work. Tell him it's how you are saving money. Who doesn't want to save money? Fix him good sandwiches, soup, etc. Put chips in...but don't let him be able to buy a lunch.

Start instituting a family walk every night after dinner. Hold hands and talk about your day. If he chooses not to do it? That's HIS problem - you get the kids out of the house and exercising. Make it a routine. Get the kids in sports. Don't allow them to eat junk. Don't forbid it - you don't want them going to other people's houses and gorging on it. Desserts are fine. EVERYTHING IN MODERATION!!!

Stop buying soda.
Stop buying crappy food.
Be the role model for your kids. SHOW them how to eat healthy. And DO IT yourself.

Hope this helps.

YOU have to set the example. Not just talk about it, DO IT. Your children need to see the role model in YOU. YOU want a healthier lifestyle? It begins with you.

The more you focus on his weight and his unhealthy choices the more he hears you say "You're FAT and UGLY and I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE" so stop sending that message.

By saying "Honey, I worry about your health and how you're gaining weight, I want you to be here for the kids as they grow up. I'd like for you to start making better food choices".

You just told him/what "he" heard is this.

"Honey, your fat. EEEWWWEEE! You are getting fat! If you don't lose weight you'll miss out on the kids growing up because I'm going to go find a thin man, you eat like an oinker".

That's what a person who is overweight hears when someone is trying to tell them they worry about them.

That's not what you were trying to say to hubby at all...but it's what he heard deep down in his heart. So stop saying that to him, okay?

Start eating the way you want to eat, encourage the kids to eat the way you want them to eat, but leave hubby alone and don't badger him when he feeds the kids stuff you don't want them to have.

Our life expectancy has NOT gotten longer due to how we eat. It's gotten longer due to antibiotics, heart meds, and other medications that treat those type of issues. We have cleaner water, better health care, better living environments, etc....so we live longer.

It's mostly genetic if we have heart disease, high cholesterol, and other health issues. We can eat how we want our entire lives and never have a sugar level issue, a high reading of some sort, or any other health issue.

What you do want to do is take the kids on a bike ride, go for a walk to see the changing leaves, cook the meals in a healthier way but don't be too drastic about it....have a salad with dinner and serve it first, before the other food comes to the table, make subtle changes and don't mention them to him.

Do not add artificial sweeteners to the menu. They are not good for the body. Just start out slow making these small changes and everyone should adapt easier.

Do not make this a power issue between you and your husband. HE has to decide to take care of himself. That being said, though, I would encourage him to see his doctor. 30 pounds in a year is a lot, and sometimes it can be a symptom of something else. Low testosterone. Thyroid problems. Diabetes. Depression.

In your shoes (and I've been there), I'd express my concern that there might be a medical issue and offer to make him an appointment. My hubby did follow through (with lots of grumbling) and discovered that he had underlying medical problems that had been undiagnosed that were contributing to the out of control weight gain. And now that he's being treated for those issues, he is no longer experiencing out-of-control weight gain. And his doctor has talked to him about making better food choices, and while he wasn't listening to me, he does listen to her.

You're fighting a loosing battle. The sooner you accept that he does not want to change, and will not change for you and/or the kids the better the situation will be.

There is a chance that he may listen to his doctor, but I seriously doubt it. As mentioned before, he has to want to make the change.

The best thing you can do is to take control of yourself and the kids. Prepare healthy meals and keep healthy snacks in your home. If he chooses not to eat them, then let him prepare what he wants.

Exercise as a family. Go for a walk, say "honey I'd like to go out for a walk, would you like to come with me?". If he chooses not to participate, then don't give him a hard time. The more you "nag", the more resistance you will get.

I'd approach it with your son in mind. Have a discussion with your husband about making healthy changes for your whole family and let him know you are concerned with your son. Cook healthy meals and exercise as a family and ask that he not bring any junk food home. You can at least try to control the menu and daily activity of most of the family and maybe your husband will jump on board. Accept him and let him make changes when he's ready.

You can't.
Simply put, the only way someone is going to loose weight is if they are ready to. This coming from someone who has struggled with my weight for much of my adult life & has recently lost a significant amount.
As far as your son goes: your the mom & if your home is typical then you do the vast majority of grocery shopping & food preperation. You can change the eating habits based on what you are willing to buy/prepare. Get the kiddos involved in choosing recipes & foods. Try to get your husband involved. Hand him a cookbook & ask him to tell you what sounds good to him. Let him know that the dr. is concerned about your son's weight & ask for his help.
One more thing: before you say anything at all to him about his weight stop & think about how you would feel if he said it to you if you gained 30 lbs.
Hope everyone gets healthy together!

Has H had a physical lately? I suspect not. That belly fat is really unhealthy.
His doctor is about the only way you can get him to want to change. You can tell him how much you love him and you are frightened by the thought of him having a stroke or a heart attack. Make him do his blood pressure at Walmart or CVS. Talk to him about the health of his parents or their siblings. Blown out knees or joints from stress of wt, diabetes?

But it's not the only way to change him. If you are cooking, you hold the key. I have changed the way I eat, and consequently, the way others in my family eat. I shop, I cook, I changed. Start with the easy things. Try to cut back on bread or starchy products, first. No more biscuits at dinner. Swap sweet potatoes for white potatoes. Make more veggies. You have to have to take chances with your menu. Listen to his gripes, but still make changes. Try to cut back on premade products.

You can't change what he eats out. But you can choose better options at fast food and he might get a clue. It's going to be like turning a ship but you can do it.

Find an activity to do together or as a family.

Good luck!

First, when it comes to your son you need to take the lead and set the good example even if you husband does not. Just because you husband does not want to go does not mean you and your children can not get out and go for a walk or play ball or go to the park. If you make it a habit maybe your husband will eventually want to join. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live a healthy and active life.

BUT (and its a big but) there is no reason you husband needs to lose 30 pounds if he is happy and healthy at the weight he is at. If your husband is happy and comfortable in his new body then why is that of such a concern to you? There really is no polite way to tell someone you think they should lose weight, and in fact that could send a very bad message to your daughters, like they have to be thin in order to be accepted and love their own bodies. Wanting him to get active, and even eat a little better, is great. Wanting him to not accept and love his body just the way it is if he is comfortable in it, is not so great.

Focus on getting active, and let him worry about his weight if and when he wants to.

I think the more you try to force the issue, the more he'll be resistant. I know that's how I am - if people talk to me about my weight, it makes me mad, defensive, embarassed and, most of all, determined that they are NOT going to dictate how I live. If I want to be fat, then I'll be fat, so there.

I think your best bet is to make it a non-issue. If he wants to be fat, fine, but it's not going to affect your whole family. If you cook and grocery shop, then you buy and fix whatever you feel like is healthiest for your family. If he doesn't like it, then he'll have to cook for himself and shop for himself.

Most of all, just don't be a nag. People who are overweight *know* that they are overweight, and don't need anyone to tell them about it or to comment on what they are choosing to eat.

Keep your mouth shut and fix what you'd like to see your family eating.

You cannot force him to lose weight. Stop mentioning it. He knows he's gained weight, he doesn't need you to tell him.

Start cooking healthier - but don't tell him you are doing it! Just tell him you are trying a new recipe or something or, better yet, tell him you are cooking healthier because of your son.

I also like the idea of taking walks after supper. However, don't force the issue. Take just your kids first. Eventually, the hubby should come around and go with you.

He's got to want to.
Until he decides that he has a problem and wants to do something about it there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change his eating habits.
Sure shop healthy foods for the family but as you can see he will eat what he wants outside the house.
Peoples metabolisms do slow down and they will gain weight if they do not take this into account.
No one can eat like they were a 25 yr old forever.
If they eat like a 25 yr old when they are 45 then they will not get the chance to see 65.
Some people do choose to dig their grave with a knife and fork.
Since your husband believes there is nothing anyone can do about weight gain as they get older then it stands to reason that he should also believe there is nothing they can do about when they die so - plan his funeral - ask his input - ask him how long you should wait before you remarry.
Some men will not take this seriously until they have a heart attack.
I hope he wises up before then.

Is your Husband middle aged???

My Dad, had health problems from middle age.
And his middle section got wider. He was not "fat", but had gained weight and loved to eat etc.
Anyway, he got Diabetes.
Not only that but other health problems.
Now, my Dad is gone.
He died.
How?
From his health problems.
He was not old when he died.
We were very close.
He was the only one in the world, who ever REALLY understood me out of my entire family.
I miss him.

I am sorry, but you cannot MAKE your Husband lose weight.
Losing weight may not be the problem.
But his eating habits, are, the problem.
If he eats healthier...then his weight will lessen.
Your Husband is like that because he eats too much and he eats junk.
It seems like, the more in denial he is.... the MORE he will eat, junk.
Some people are like that. They do more of what they are in denial, about.

Again, it is not a weight issue.
But HOW he eats. And he seems to gorge.
And he never drinks water.

Oh- so my Dad passed away already. And my Mom... for a time afterward, was sooooooooo bitter about it. And resentful. Why?
Because, she was so ANGRY at him for dying... DUE to his health problems. It was really unpleasant being around her... because all she did was grumble about my Dad. Even when he was alive.... nagging him all the time. So after a time, he never told her anything.
Anyway, all I know is you do not "get" a person to loose weight... nor by nagging or etc.

As the other suggested below: IF HIS SON IS GETTING THAT WAY TOO... then tell your Husband what the Pediatrician said.
TELL your Husband.
It is not funny.

You can't. He has to REALLY WANT to do it.

I feel your pain, but the answer is; you cannot motivate someone else to lose weight. But I want to share with you that nearly half my family recently adopted a plant based diet (just fruits, vegetable, legumes, nuts and seeds). My in-laws who have dieted and gone up and down in their weight, just hit new lows they have not seen in 30 years. My MIL weighs what she weighed on her wedding day (130 or so) and he weights 180 (after weighing 210). All this with no quantity restrictions and no exercise. Tell him that.

Take care of yourself, continue to set a good example and let them solve this issue themselves. I went through a time in my life when I was overweight and the more I heard about it, the more depressing it became. I am serious about this, I used to hide in the bathroom and eat homemade frosting. It was comforting. Adding our good tips and advice is never going to help anyone lose weight. Show them that you are slim and healthy and set that example and enjoy your life. Deep inside a lot of people know what to do if that is their desire and some people really aren't that concerned about it. Can you enjoy them without worrying about what they look like? and oftentimes we say it is in the name of health but I find that mother's or wives are particularly embarrassed by it because they think everyone is blaming them. Just enjoy you. Stalking them won't help.

Wow....do we have the same husband? I think we might! Mine has just turned 45 and it took a serious medical wake-up call for my husband to stop the eating and learn self-control. My husband really has no vices except that he is an emotional eater. I noticed this shortly after we were married but as you know, until men reach age 40, they can eat the entire house down and never gain a single pound! That was him. Notice the word WAS. Then, age 40 hit him like a freight train and the donuts, coffee overload, snacking, candy, fast food runs and atrocious eating habits just whacked him into a serious weight gain. He is one of those that carries it in the belly and nowhere else. Typical. His mother died at 52 from a massive heart attack and his dad at 74 from cancer. Longevity is not in the genes of this family and some serious diseases are. Lo and behold, high blood pressure sets in and goes wild. He is now on three different medications to control it. He's been told to lose weight but does nothing. Then, the high cholesterol came and next, high triglycerides too. Now we have the perfect recipe for a heart attack and coronary artery disease. Our doctor orders him to have a stress test. While on the treadmill for the test, the monitors go off like sirens and my husband went into a heart rhythm called V-Tach. It is the #1 fatal heart rhythm that presents right before a major coronary event. BOOM....there is it. He spent ten days in the hospital and was the youngest patient they had in the whole Cardiac Care Unit! He underwent two cardiac catheter procedures, a tilt-table test and an EP Study. The verdict....stage 1-2 atherosclerosis, a myocardial bridge in the heart muscle, and a STIFF warning that he is following in the footsteps of his late mother. GET THE WEIGHT OFF or you will probably die the same way she did. This is what it took. Nothing less would have worked. He still has issues with the eating and makes horrible choices but has managed to not fall completely off the wagon. He lost 45 pounds and has managed to keep about 30 of it off for good. If he doesn't, he realizes he will not be here with me as we get old, and for our four daughters who have made him tow the line on this weight problem from day one of his diagnosis. All of this could have been prevented if he would have kept his weight in check. He knows that this is it now. No more second and third chances. I hope your husband and your son can realize what putting extra pounds on and junk eating can lead to. Some of the damage this weight causes is irreversible. Let them read this and have them think about all that I have said here. Many times since this happened I have had to think long and hard how I will continue to raise and support our four girls without my husband here. I actually have to think about it because it could totally happen. It's stressing and a huge strain on all of us so stop the insanity and get the eating under control. Get help and get fit! If you wait until something major happens, it could be too late!

Have you talked to him about your son - not even mentioning your DH's own weight problems? "DH, the pediatrician is very concerned about our son. He says that if son continues on this path, he faces diabetes (etc.). I do not want that to happen to son. I am going to follow the doctor's advice and introduce more healthy foods, but I really really need you to support me. If you want burgers and fries on your own time, you are an adult and can make that choice. But in our home, I need you to not buy chips and soda. I need you to support my dinners when I cook better food. We need to make sure our son avoids these preventable health concerns. Please be on my team on this."

And then even if DH isn't on your team, you do what you need to do for your kid. Toss out the bad food he buys. Take the kids to the park. Etc. You can also make substitutions and just not tell them. We use a lot of low fat cheeses and I don't really notice a difference. Weight Watchers makes a really good pepper jack. I'm actually kind of torn on sneaking things in because while it gets the food into the person, it doesn't long-term teach them how to eat. So I would also include the kids in the shopping and the cooking. Find out what they like and HOW they like it. Does your son not like cooked fruit? Then offer raw. I don't like cooked fruit myself. Help the kids be PROUD of food choices, not begrudge them. If you take your kids on a hike, be excited about what you find or how far you can go. "Wow, kids, we saw ten deer! That is a new record." Maybe give them a nature scavenger hunt to complete.

I would also do more shopping myself. If you are pressed for time, use a delivery service. Some are even now "pickup" services. You can be on your lunch break and make an order and pick it up on your way home. Giant offers this.

You can also ask him, at another time, if something is bothering him. And then listen. Sometimes men won't tell you what the real deal is. My DH got depressed when he was in a bad job. He hated pictures of himself at that time b/c he'd gone to comfort eating. He thought I didn't find him attractive (truth be told, it was harder, but I still loved him) and just felt kind of defeated. Getting a new job was a trigger to excersize more, eat better (he does a modified South Beach diet), and to take care of himself. So maybe part of it for your DH isn't food, but what is encouraging him to eat and pretend not to care, like a high-stress job.

You can't.. they have got to want it.. I go to OA.. and it's very helpful.. check out the OA website and have him (if he will) answer their questions and maybe, just maybe if he sees that he answers YES to many of them, then he might be able to see that perhaps he does indeed have a problem... compulsive overeating is like any other addiction.. it's up to the addict to want to change.. which leads me to.... usually where there is an addict, there is an enabler/co-dependent... in other words, it's a group problem.. so maybe you need to approach this in a group effort..
you also mentioned that your son is getting to be overweight. they have OA for kids as well..
I would also add that just because a person may not be fat, doesn't mean they don't have an eating problem.... it s just that the problem may not have manifested itself by way of fat, but rather could show itself in terms of anxiety..
I believe when you grow up in any type of addictive environment, the kids in one way shape or form pick up some of the behaviors that go along with it.... again, approach this as a group .. everyone needs to be on board..

good luck

A good idea is to grocery shop with a list. A list of just healthy food ,that is.
Replace soda with still water, pack the pantry with oatmeal, fresh fruit, milk or yogurt and whole-wheat bread for breakfast (they can even spread a layer of organic fruit jelly - not that fluorescent, fake and sugary thing, one that actually looks and taste like fruit without artificial flavors!). Get fresh veggies, cook them lightly with extra virgin olive oil in a pan (without frying them), use spices to give more flavor (reducing salt), serve them with rice and chicken for a good, filling meal. Roast or grill pumpkin, peppers, potatoes, fennel, eggplant etc...and serve them with a grilled steak and NO sauces. You can roast a chicken, bake a salmon (or any other whole fish) by simply putting it in a foil with a little olive oil, salt, slices of lemon and spice all over it, it will be healthy and delicious. Just avoid having anything "dangerous" on hand, break the cycle. Habits are very hard to break, so be patient and consistent, allowing a pizza (no pepperoni!) and a home-made pie every now and then. No reason to make them upset, right? Good luck.

You can't make another person lose weight or want to lose weight. Does your husband see a doctor for physicals? Maybe if he hears it from a doctor, from someone who isn't you and has no vested interest here, he might listen. Also, insist that he get some additional life insurance. Maybe that'll wake him up.
Buy and prepare the foods you want the family to eat. If he wants to buy and cook his own meals, that's his decision. If he doesn't want to go on the family walks or join in the family frisbee game, he is missing out on the fun. Just like with little kids who are picky eaters, don't beg, bribe, wheedle, plead or act as if you are interested. Once he figures out that he can't control you by how he eats, it won't seem like a battle to him.
Good luck

The short and direct answer to your question: you can't! They have to want to lose it themselves. It's as if I was writing this - my husband has gained a lot of weight in the past two years - because of his job, he is living in another state (coming home on the weekends) and he eats anything and everything he wants without a care in the world. It's disgusting! Our two kids have literally begged him to cut down but he's going to do what he wants to do! Now, having said that....

Who does the grocery shopping in your house? How does all the junk food and unhealthy food get in your house? My husband would bring in junk - then on garbage day I would wait until he left for work and take it out with the garbage. He finally quit bringing the junk in when he knew I was basically throwing money away.

Bottom line is you cannot control your husband - God knows, I've tried!! BUT I was determined not to have fat kids - which I don't! My children are thin, happy and healthy thanks to me, not their father. And now as teenagers, they definitely don't want to be fat! They drink lots of water, watch what they eat and try to be as active as possible. All you can do is cook healthy meals and control what you and your children eat. Try to get them outside and take walks with them, ride bikes or play ball, just do something. Maybe your husband will eventually catch on and join you. You never know!!

Good luck!!!

tell him to watch the movie Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. Seriously motivational. Starts out slow but even my frriends in shape love it... I have lost 30lbs in 4 weeks following what he did... he doesn't sell you anything no gimmicks shows you how to take control of your live... a life style change and not a DIET.. http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

If he's making comments like "There's nothing people can do about weight gain as they get older", then he's wearing blinders in order to make himself feel better. He's just seeing what he wants to see. I know many older adults who are in great physical condition, it just takes more effort and self-control as we age.

I disagree with the comments that there is nothing you can do to motivate your husband to lose weight. Before my husband and I married, the only veggie he ate was broccoli, he refused to drink low-fat milk or eat whole-grain bread, and ate cookies by the sleeve. Now he is more open-minded about veggies than I am, and participates in planning and preparing healthy meals.

I laid out the facts for him. The list of ailments that result from obesity is overwhelming. I taught him what I learned in my nutrition and nursing courses about the direct impact our diets have our our health. We watched Super-size Me, Forks over Knives, Hungry for Change. Those movies will definitely make you stop an think about what you are putting in your mouth. We discuss how taking care of ourselves physically is just as important as planning our finances when it comes to being there for our children. We want to do our best to be there for our kids as they grow, we want to have energy for them and for each other, we want to be examples for healthy living for them. As much as it is in our control, we want to prevent a stroke/heart attack, so as not to prematurely burden the other with the caretaker role.

I think the best motivator for healthy living is how much better you can feel when you take care of yourself.

Cook differently. Use more fiber foods.