My son is 3 months old and has been getting out of swaddles since he was about one month old. We have tried multiple swaddles (Swaddle Me, Halo Sleepsack, Woombie, Extra big swaddling blankets) and he will bust out of each one. He's too long for the second Woombie now, the Swaddle Me didn't even last us a week before he figured out how to Houdini out of it, and the Sleepsack has a separate arm restrictor that he managed to pull up over his face (much to the dismay of my husband and I). His startle reflex is awful...I'm talking the A/C kicks on or my husband turns over in bed and the baby wakes up...but we can't swaddle anymore. We've spent so much money on swaddles and we're hesitant to spend anymore because we really don't have the money for it. My question is, how do we get him to sleep without it? He sleeps in a bassinet by our bed and my husband suggested putting him in a crib in his room. But the problem is that I'm a teacher and my husband is a full-time student and we're not home to transition him (I was planning to do it at Christmas when I have two weeks off). I'm also not super comfortable with the idea of him sleeping in his own room already. So, what can we do, because sleep needs to come back to my house? Also, co-sleeping is not an option because my husband is too deep of a sleeper; so, currently, my son and I are sleeping in the recliner and then my husband switches out with me when I have to go to work.
Addendum: We do sleep with two fans and a noise maker (vacuum sound) in our room for white noise.
Hi All! I brought all these answers to my husband so we could discuss what the best plan of action would be. Last night, we tried just swaddling one arm and leaving his non-dominant arm out. He slept from 8:30-I left for work at 6:30. While he did get restless a few times, including when we went to bed (our bed creaks), he never woke up or even whimpered (that I remember...but I'm also battling a severe cold, so I might just not have heard him and he went back to sleep). Hopefully, within the next two weeks or so, we can do away completely with the swaddle and still sleep. While I don't expect him to sleep through the night every night by any means, I also don't think he should regress to the point where he's waking every hour, which is what we were struggling with. Before we went through the issues, he was waking 2-3 times a night, which I can easily handle. He's exclusively breast fed, but I don't produce enough to feed him every hour and, a lot of times, he'll turn away at night because he's not hungry-- just startled awake. He also sleeps with a car seat insert because he will NOT go to sleep unless he has his face snuggled against something (he's been like this since birth). My husband and I agreed that he should stay in his bassinet until Christmas, if possible, since I usually have to get up multiple times a night to soothe him or replace his pacifier. It's the bassinet I used as a child; it's wooden and very roomy and doesn't rock, so he should be able to stay in it a while longer as compared to other bassinets used today. Also, he used to sleep in his swing during his first 6 weeks of life, but we didn't want to regress him back to that because it took me a week to break him of sleeping in it and, when we decided to take him out of it, it was because he was burying his face in the side and his breathing became a concern. Thank you for all the advice!
When you lay him in the bassinet, have the top of his head touching the top wall of the bassinet. He will feel cozier that way.
How does your kid sleep in a swing? As for your lack of sleep is there any way you can get some help some time, even if it is immediately after school when someone can grab baby for 3+ hours and you get a meaningful nap? A few days like that can prove very restorative, even if it isn't a good nights sleep
Best
F. B.
I think your swaddling days are over.
Many parents do a tag team deal - one night Mom sleeps while Dad looks after baby, the next night Dad sleeps while Mom looks after baby - that way each adult gets one good nights sleep every other day.
I'm wondering if white noise might help. You said he gets startled easily by noises. Maybe if you had a white noise machine or a box fan and had the noise near his head, that would help.
We did co-sleep with our boys. Do you have a spare bedroom? I would not be happy sleeping in a recliner! You could try pushing your bed up against a wall and having your so sleep in between you and the wall. If it's something you might consider, here is a good website for tips and safety concerns:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-pr...
I really like Dr. Sears, and I often found his website to be very helpful. Co-sleeping saved my sanity. I finally got some sleep!!! If you're creative, you might find that you really can make it work.
Even if you don't want to try co-sleeping, think about white noise. We all like white noise in our family. If very nicely drowns out other noises in the house and really relaxes us!
ETA - Sorry to hear the white noise isn't completely taking care of the problem of him reacting to sounds. We did co-sleep, and I still think it's something for to consider. I noticed a couple of people that mentioned swings and carseats. That's a great idea! One of my boys napped in the swing a lot, and the other slept in his carseat for several months (helped with the reflux, too).
A good friend of mine gave me some great advise once. "The best place for baby to sleep is wherever baby WILL sleep!" I would try a few things and see if any of them work - swing, carseat, bouncy seat, guest bedroom ... whatever! Who cares! Obviously you need to make sure he will be safe, but if you're sure he's safe, try it. You never know what might help!
Good luck! It really does get easier!
I never swaddled my first son - he was out of it in the hospital so I didn't even bother learning how. My second, we swaddled for maybe a month. By 3 months, he does not need it anymore. I would start working on putting him to bed slightly awake at this point. If you find that he wakes as soon as he is placed on a cold sheet in the bassinet, heat the sheet with either a heating pad or a warm towel before you put him down so he doesn't go from nice and warm and snuggly to cold sheets. We did this with son number 2. He is still too young for any sleep training at this point. I'm not sure you can wait until Christmas to move him to a bed - by then he will be 6 months right? As soon as he starts sitting up you need to have him in a crib - a bassinet is too dangerous. Use a monitor if his crib is far from your room. And sleep - learn to live without. My first didn't sleep through until 20 months, my second was 4 1/2 YEARS!! Welcome to parenthood!
My youngest went through a phase for a few months as a baby where she would only sleep well in her car seat! So at night I popped it out of the car, tucked her into it and she slept there most of the night on the floor next to our bed. If she started to fuss usually just me throwing my arm over and giving her a light rock was enough to get her back to sleep. Not conventional I know but when you need to sleep you improvise. Good luck!
1) let him sleep on his belly.
2), Move the crib into your room, take off one side, raise the mattress to meet the height of your bed, push the crib mattress up against your mattress (which will leave space between crib mattress and the crib...stuff with blankets. Then you can co-sleep and it doesn't matter if your husband is a heavy sleeper, you are between him and the baby.
My son was the same way -- terrible startle reflex. Cosleeping didn't stop his startle reflex from waking him. His preferred sleeping position has always been on his side or side/stomach position so putting him to sleep on his side helped a bit.
Do you have space in your room for the crib? I kept the crib in our room with my daughter until she was 12 months and still have the crib in our room for my son, who is 9 months.
Why does he need a swaddle? I'd never even heard of one when I had kids and then grand kids. I think...why?
If he's getting of them then he's fighting them to get them off. He doesn't like them. What makes you think he needs one? Do you wear heavy wraps in the house? Do you wear a blanket around while you're sleeping? Is it possible he's too hot?
Put him in his bassinet which he's probably too big for already since they're only supposed to be used the first couple of months and let him sleep. He should be waking up to eat through the night for a while. They can't really eat at 7pm and sleep all night until morning, that's a fantasy...I know a few say that happened to them but their stomachs are so small they need to wake up often to eat.
You just need to remember he's a baby and they wake up at night to eat because they're starving. They need the breastmilk or formula for a full year. If you start them on food then they'll be up even more because they'll be starving all the time. Baby food has minimal, if any, nutrition in them. The milk they replace is missing and it's the nutrition the baby needs. So they need to nurse or have a bottle first every single time before you give them a bite of any food for that first year. It's like drinking a protein shake and energy drink rolled up into a healthy boob/bottle. Baby food is the empty calories from pop or sweets.
double swaddle him - do the first swaddle normal, then the second swaddle you do so it fastens behind him, he won't be able to get out of that
You do it gradually. For my kids, first we started leaving their feet unswaddled, but still putting the blanket snug around their arms. After he got use to that, we left one arm out of the swaddle, but kept the second arm in. After a week or so, we would put the blanket around his torso, tight like a swaddle but with both arms out. After a while of that, we started leaving the blanket gradually looser until it was just in the crib (switched to a regular sleep sack at that point). Good luck!
I read through your question and your SWH.
How do you know that he's waking only from startle reflex?
It's not uncommon for breastfed babies to wake at 3 months. Mine all did. Sometimes it was because they wanted a feed. Other times, because they'd be wet from that feed. Sometimes they were fussy (mine all were around 3 months growth spurt). And up very early for a morning feed. By 6 months, it was much better (then I started to help them go back to sleep without feeds).
I swaddled my first - only did as infants for the rest, and it really made very little difference.
If you're using a pacifier (we did also) be prepared to go in and get it for them if they wake and want it (or when it slips under their heads). All the props (white noise, etc.) will become habits for your baby. So while it seems to help at the time, over time they can become things you need in order for him to sleep.
Hi - I just saw your question and don't have time to read the other posts. My 4 month old is a big, strong boy and busted through all swaddles. Thank goodness I learned about the Magic Merlin sleep suit - it is like a swaddle (prevents them from hitting themselves by weighting their limbs) but it is not something they can get out of - I ordered it on Amazon and it was a lifesaver. It was designed by a therapist. Hope this might help your baby!!
He was never able to sleep without a swaddle, even in the hospital. We did try, because I didn't want him dependent on anything, and it didn't work. I check his diaper whenever he wakes to see if it's wet, but a lot of times, his waking is right around the time the air has kicked on or after my husband has turned over. I don't go to sleep quickly and I have to wake to pump in the middle of the night, so I've studied how he sleeps. If he wakes up around 2 or 5, he's typically hungry. Some weeks, he'll get hungry around 12 (four hours after he's gone to bed) and I know those are growth spurt time and that he's going through one right now. But every hour at night seems really excessive to me, especially since he's already drinking so much during the day (he went through 24 ounces of milk at the sitter yesterday which is something that never happens). The pacifier isn't something he depends on at all. He could take it or leave it, but when he refuses the milk, I don't want to keep him awake and get him in the habit of always being awake at 1 am or whatever time he wakes up. The pacifier usually gives him a chance to calm down and either go back to sleep on his own (if he really doesn't need anything) or figure out what he does need (sometimes, very seldomly, he'll decide he's hungry later after he's calmed down), but most of the time it allows him to go back to sleep. My husband and I have always slept with white noise (a box fan), so I don't expect him to be any different and I don't mind him being dependent on that. We always pack a box fan when we go somewhere. I plan to gradually stop using the extra fan and noise maker when he moves into his own room.
