My little baby is scared of rubber toys. She just turned one yesterday and I try to reintroduce her to her ducky in the bathtub each time and she just starts shaking and freaking out. From what I can tell the only rubber toy she likes us her sofie and the dog's kong, which I take away from her when I notice she has it. I first noticed if with this tiny rubber tiger bath toy. I gave it to her to play with and she looked at it for a second, moved it around, then she started freaking out, screaming and crying and shaking. Should I just take all the toys she's scared of, or keep trying in hopes that she'll grow out of it?
I need to make clear that I'm not just purposefully scaring my child and I don't appreciate the judgement. She liked the ducky just fine til about three months ago. And she doesn't take the dog toy into the bath. I don't know how you got that idea. She just takes it from the dog when she sees him playing with it, and though he'll fight my husband and me when we take his toy, he knows not to even play fight her, so he'll just let her have it. I was asking for advice, not judgemental comments and criticism. I was wondering if this was normal or something I need to worry about. So thanks moms for your solidarity and help.
She doesn't know her fear is irrational, she is too young to understand. Just take the toy away and use something else (they do get nasty inside after a while).
I always used simple things like a plastic cup or beach toys, shovel, small bucket, etc., they were much easier to clean after a bath.
She's just one year old. It's okay. Put them away so that she is comfortable. By the time she's two, she will have grown a lot.
The worst thing you can do is freak out when she does this. That will make her more likely to do it.
She's a baby!!! Why on earth would you continue to scare the hell out of her by trying to " reintroduce" toys.
For the love of God... Protect your child. Put the squeaky toys away. Stop torturing her.
If your baby is scared of a toy then don't give it to her.
I don't think it's the end of the world if there are some toys that she just doesn't like.
If a toy bothers her, remove it.
She'll either change her mind about it later - or not.
It's no big deal either way.
I'm having a hard time fathoming why you would deliberately keep introducing something to your child that scares her. Just stop!
Just take them away. Why scare her.
It's very typical for babies to suddenly find something that was comforting or interesting to be scary. Don't look for reasons for it--they just turn on a dime, mentally. Please don't try to "get her over it" by reintroducing toys that now scare her, because no matter how often you tell her "It's fine, it's safe" and so on, she is simply too young to be able to process that or take comfort from words. Her mind cannot yet do this: "It's the same toy that was nice yesterday. It hasn't changed. I liked it then and it is the same and I see it does not bite/jump/whatever." She has very few settings to her mind, and they are very basic: This thing is fun, this thing is scary, this thing is comfy, this thing itches/hurts/pokes me. It requires some rational thought to get from "This scares me but I remember that it was fun before" and she's not there yet. She won't be for a long time.
Please be aware that versions of this will keep happening even as she gets older so you need to be prepared for it and recognize it as normal, and not as something to "work on" so she gets over it. For instance, many kids will be just fine going to sleep in their own rooms and then, overnight, they're scared by something they can't really identify -- it could be a blanket that has always hung over the back of a chair, that all at once appears like a scary monster to them by the light of the nightlight when it did not, before. It's not rational but it's normal. And don't expect her to be able to answer you when you ask, "What's wrong? It's the same room, nothing moved." She might just say "I'm scared" without being able to identify why and that is normal and OK. Don't press her to give you answers or identify her fears early on if she can't do so; instead, she needs comfort rather than toughening up. Eventually you'll come up with routines to help banish monsters in her room, and give her some "magic spells" to say to make her more confident or whatever it takes, but don't push a child to try to get over a small, irrational fear. It can make the fear worse, not better.
If something avoidable and unnecessary like a toy or blanket or picture on the wall scares a kid, just remove it for now and don't over-talk the fear. Just make the item go away.
I would strongly suggest that you get some solid books about infant and young child "ages and stages" that talk about these kinds of developmental stages so you know what to expect and don't mistake a normal lack of rational thought for something being really wrong. There is a series of age-based books with titles like "Your One Year Old," "Your Two Year Old" and so on, by an author named Louise Bates Ames, and those are a good start. There are "What To Expect" books not just for pregnancy but also for early years of childhood. Also, ask your pediatrician and you will find that this behavior is normal and will take other forms for some years to come.
She's a baby! She doesn't have rational thoughts! You cannot reason with her!
Stop torturing her, put the toys away and try them again in 2 months if it's so important to you. What is the purpose of the toy? It's to entertain her, right? Is that working for you? No, it isn't.
Try to figure out why it is so essential to you that she just LOVE a toy that you like. Kids play with funnels and spoons and all kinds of things that aren't technically "bath toys".
And can you explain how a "little baby" gets hold of a dog toy and takes it into the bathtub without you seeing her do it? This doesn't say much about your parenting, actually. I really would like to understand that - perhaps you can edit your post to explain more about your child.
Toys get moisture inside, grown mold, nasty. No toys in the tub.
you are expecting rationality from a pre-verbal baby?
i guess you could sit down with her and explain it all painstakingly. maybe a nice power-point presentation would get through to her.
or you could just let her pick the toys she wants in her bath.
and i strongly suggest you stop letting her take the dog's toy. that's a nightmare teetering on the edge of becoming reality.
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khairete
S.
Oh for goodness sakes. She's one. Let her play with the toys she is comfortable with.
What in the world is an "irrational fear" when it comes to babies?!
Babies don't have irrational fears. They're learning about the world around them. Every fear is rational - they need to be exposed to the world at their pace to discover what is dangerous and what isn't. If she doesn't like rubber duckies, then why in the world are you so insistent on giving them to her. If she liked the duck and then suddenly was scared of it, she probably had a bad dream.
I think you need to read a little bit about early child development.
And PS - people aren't judging you - they're letting you know your over-the-top assessments are the only irrational things here.
She can live without the ducky. Babies and toddlers aren't "rational." This is probably the first of MANY irrational likes and dislikes to come!
For whatever reason, she doesn't like the toys, so find something else.
It's not an irrational fear - it's just a fear that doesn't make sense to you. It's possible she stepped on or otherwise startled herself with a squeak toy and no longer likes/trusts them.
Find a toy that resembles the dog toy - or let HER shop with you for a toy that she likes.
she might think its the dogs toy she cant have. she could be confused about the toys that are hers and the dogs. when she has the dogs toys show her how to play with the dog. it will teach her to share. if the dogs gentle. read her a story about a duck and let her see the duck in the book. then later show her the toy.if it squeaks it could scare her.
I had to think about this one.
I had babies who didn't like the tub and others who relaxed in it. I had babies who liked noise and ones who didn't. I'm the type who goes with the flow - whatever works and is easiest and keeps little ones content. So I'd be done with the ducky for now.
As for "irrational" fears. I never thought of them that way, but I did have one little one who didn't like men - other than Dad or Grandpa. That was a hard one because people sort of force themselves on your kids and want them to like them. I just would say "we're not quite into guys". My child was surrounded by men (visitors, dads of my kids' friends, etc.) and exposure did nothing. None of them were threatening. It was simply a phase. One day a dad had brought a box of sweets over, and offered one to my toddler. Who eventually teetered over and took one, and that seemed to do it. So maybe at some point the rubber ducky will seem appealing - maybe it will be if she's playing with it in a pool instead of tub. who knows. Bottom line, don't think you can rush this stuff or control it. I'd let it go - it's not like she's going to be afraid of rubber toys when she's 5 right? :) Good way to look at it.
Nothing to worry about! Some babies love specific toys and some are nervous about them. I would just leave the duck out of bath time for a little while and try again in a few weeks if you want her to have a ducky. My little girl hated Sofie and was petrified of her for months, last week she found Sofie in her toy bin, and has been carrying her around ever since!
