Holidays

Honestly, I feel 5 months old is a little young to cry it out. My daughter's ped. wouldn't allow it until 9 months and I have heard many times that up until the age of 9 months, waking up for feeding at night is not uncommon or unexpected.

I have 3 kids an 2 of them are boys~I breast fed them and they seemed like they were starving! So I started giving them a couple ounces of formula before bedtime-and it helped!

You mentionsed letting him cry it out but then also said something about going in and calming him down. Which one are you doing?? If you are going in there, then you are not letting him cry it out. I know it's hard, I've done it but....I think if you really do it...It will work.

Baby Wise-the book

I think if your in-laws want you to come visit and stay with a 5 month old baby, they should fully expect to be woken up in the middle of the night by cries. It's part of the bargin!!! Make sure they understand that he is not sleeping through the night yet, and they need to have this expectation.

Also, I wouldn't be concerned if he's not sleeping through the night yet. While some babies can go 8-9 hours at that age, not all of them can. As someone else said below, he just might not be reaay yet. I have twin boys that didn't sleep through the night until they were 9 months old. It was exhausting...but it ended eventually!

I'd say any types of transitional times are sooo hard to make when they are out of their comfort environment. If it was me I'd probably not go to inlaws... it may be only this one year that you'll need to do that.. maybe they can come to you?

Dear H. H.,

I would suggest you express some breast milk and mix it in with some rice cereal just before you want the baby to sleep at night. We tried this with our youngest daughter because she nursed so frequently and it really helped a lot. It takes a while for the body to digest the cereal so it helps some babies sleep longer. As long as you change his bottom after eating this cereal (and most moms automatically do this anyway, he may sleep longer than he has been). Try it and see how it goes for you. Make sure to get a good burp. We fed with the spoon really runny cereal and a lot comes back out of the baby's mouth because he will be beginning the learning process of eating from a spoon, but you just keep putting it back in and soon he swallows some of it. Since breast milk is so sweet, he should really like the taste of that cereal. Start out with a small amount and if he acts like he is upset you took it away, fix him a little more. Babies usually won't eat more than to fill up their little tummies and then stop.

Send me an email to let me know how it went if you try my idea. ____@____.com and mention that you are a mamasource member in the subject line so I don't delete you before I realize you are the one I asked to email me.

Perhaps the cereal will solve your problem for going to the in-laws for Christmas as well.

L. C.

I have a 5 month of little girl born in June as well. She does sleep through the night now but there were times she wouldn't. What I found out was that she was simply not full. The milk was not holding her through the night. My pediatrician recommended we feed her cereal in the morning and at her dinner. It helps so much. We feed her with a baby spoon and about 3-4 tablespoon of cereal and the milk. I have also introduced some yellow vegetables like squash, sweet potatoes. My daughter takes about 8/9 ounces of milk too, at each serving. I would make sure that he is full at bedtime and then he may not need nursing for the comfort or food. In terms of going out of town try this first and see if it helps and then gauge if you should go. Good Luck!!

Get the "no-cry sleep solution" book. It won't solve all your problems magically, but it will help you to set up a "plan" on how you want to go about getting to a goal of sleeping through the night. Chances are, at 5 months, he's waking up because he's still hungry at night. You can't stop this - it's just a fact that babies wake up in the night because they are hungry. I think anyone that tells you every child should be sleeping the same by "x" age is full of baloney. Each kid is different. 5 months is too young to cry-it-out. When he wakes up, feed him, cuddle him a minute, and then put him back in bed and rub his back for a minute or sit quietly in a chair next to the crib not saying anything the whole time. The key is to give him what he needs to get back to sleep with as little stimulation as possible (i.e. no talking, no lights any brighter than you need to get what you've got to do done). Eventually, you'll be able to just pat his back for a minute and then he'll know it's okay & go back to sleep. At 5 months he's still growing like a weed and need that extra feeding in the night. Soon, when you start on solids, it will get better and he won't wake hungry so often, I promise!

As far as going out of town... can you share a room (not a bed, just the room) with him so that you can quickly react to his needs and both get back to sleep?

Good luck!

The pediatrician may say your little one should be sleeping through the night, but doctors really don't know everything! He's a kid - not a textbook case. He may be hungry or thirsty. If he's only five months old he's probably not eating too much in the way of solids - he could be starving. I always fed my little ones in the night - they were happy, settled down and then I could get some sleep. It's miserable for you and the baby to have him so upset. I have never let my babies cry it out - babies only have crying as a way to communicate. So, although I know I'm probably in the minority, I'd say go to your in-laws - it will be fun and they'll all make a fuss of the kids - and if you have to feed your little on in the night so be it! Good luck.- Alison

H. -

My daughter didn't sleep through the night till she was 9 months old and even then it wasn't consistant. Not all kids are the same and I think the pediatrician telling you he should be able to sleep through the night is an average - there are the numbers on either side of that that help make up that number.

As for going to your inlaws - I'd put put your foot down and stay home. If it's a big deal, have them come visit you and stay at a hotel. You have to take care of yourself - otherwise, you are no good to your kids or anyone else. It sounds like going to your inlaws is already causing you stress that you don't need so draw the line now.

I hope this helps. I know it's hard trying to please everyone, especially during the holidays. Start with yourself and go from there.

K.

That's a tough-y! I'd advise to put the baby on priority. Whatever it takes to meet those needs is MOST important, you don't want regression.

SO...I'd let your in-laws know exactly what the situation is and the challenges. See if they have any creative solution for you visiting, but having some space for the baby to sleep/scream it out. If they can see that you WANT to visit, but also need to keep your child on schedule I'll guess that they'll be willing to put up with the noise, find a creative solution to make everyone happy, or at least not hold it against you if you need to stay home this year.

Sorry I don't have any suggestions for the sleeping thing, other then consistency.

H. H., maybe he is ready for solids! At some point nursing just isn't enough anymore. 5 months is close enough to safely start cereal (maybe he's just hungry?). I took my son to bed with us until he was almost 9 months (and he still sometimes ends up with us halfway through the night (now 14 months)) b/c we couldnt get him to sleep any other way. If you can get comfortable nursing in bed it may be the easiest option if you go to the inlaws for christmas. A baby that has breastmilk buffet right beside him all night rarely cries unless something else is also wrong (gas, teething, etc). hope this helps! Hang in there, and Blessed Christmas!

Hi H.,
This is such a difficult thing. I would go to your in-laws even if it made sleep worse for a little bit if you only see them at the holidays. My family is all farther away and I know that traveling with little ones (mine are 5,3,and 1) can be difficult. My parents are so thrilled, though, that we make the effort, they never mind hearing the baby cry! As for your daughter, does she usually wake up when the baby is crying? My girls don't seem to hear the baby...even when we are in the same room! One thing I would do, is put the baby down in the pak-n-play (or whatever you are using for your trip) for naps for a few days before going, so that it isn't a huge transition when you get there.
If your in-laws are close by and able to travel, I agree with the other suggestion of having them come to you this year.
Either way, I hope you have a blessed family reunion over Christmas, there is nothing like sharing it with family!

Oh, have you tried putting an article of clothes that you have worn in the crib with the baby? Another resource to try is the book BabyWise by Ezzo. My sister used it with all four of hers (including twins) and loved it.

hope you get some sleep soon!

I agree with the comment below clarifying what "sleeping through the night" truly is--my pediatrician has always said that this is 5-6 hours (at this age).

I also know that my son went through a serious restless sleeper phase from 4-6 months, so that could be contributing to your issue as well.

I would really recommend reading a variety of books on sleep--Ferber, BabyWise, the Baby Whisperer--to see which one might work best for your family. They all agree that sleep and schedules are possible for babies, they just have different ways to go about implementing one.

As for visiting the family over the holidays, I'd be tempted not to go because of the lack of sleep, overstimulation and the time spent traveling. Such a hard call.

Whatever you decide, I hope more sleep comes your way soon.

Hang in there!

Hi H.!
My son is 1 and we are still struggling on the sleeping front so I can relate. I don't have any advice as far as sleeping goes...obviously if I'm still not sleeping than any advice that I have is probably not the kind you want! As for the trip, I think it boils down to whether you want to go or not. If you do, then it'll be worth it, even if you undo all the "sleep training" you've done. If you think it's too much for you right now (since you are sleep deprived and running all day long), then I think you can say no. You could invite them to your house? Or offer to pay for them to stay at a hotel nearby? Happy Holidays! Cheers to sleep :)

if you ahve been trying the "cry it out" for 3 weeks and it is not working.. it probably isnt going to work.

every child is different but my daughter got up in the night until she was 7 months and my son got up for an entire year.

At 18 months my son still gets up at sometime between 4 - 6 am for nursing and then goes back to sleep.

I have not done the cry it out with my kids. I have let them cry but not for long.

I would go visit the inlaws. You dont say where they live but a nice visit with grandma and grandpa is very important. your son will not sleep as well in a strange place.. but you can work on getting him back on track when you get home.

Hi H.,
I am in a similar situation, I have a 8 month old and she did the same thing. She was hungry, and kept waking up 3 to 4 times at night. She is sleeping better, but now it's her teeth!! I breastfed for 7 months,and now that she takes a bottle, I have noticed her sleeping longer. But she does still wake at least once. I think it's more for comfort. THat could be why your little one wakes up, for comfort.

We travel for the hiolidays too, and we stay at my parents and my husbands parents. It gets exhausting but my kids end up sleeping better. It could be because they are interacting more with people, I don't know, but it's worth a try!! Good luck :)

Oh, maybe you and your husband could sleep in a different room, that's what we do, because every move we make it would wake her up. Just a suggestion!

Is the only reason you think your daughter should sleep through the night because the doctor said so? Every child is different. If she is hungry, that is it. She could also be teething,or a growth spurt. If you think it is a habit, then you can break it, but are you sure it is? If you are trying to break the habit and letting her cry it out, then you can't go in there except to change a diaper. If you have been diligent and it is 3 weeks, thats not the problem, so feed her. As far as your dilemma goes, I would definitely talk to your inlaws and explain that she doesn't sleep through the night, and you don't want to nurse her just to keep her quiet. See what they say, after all, it is their house, and they did raise children, so they could be very helpful. If your routine isn't working, maybe the change of scenery/routine will put her to sleep! (I'm trying to remain optimistic!)

H.- Although the Dr says that babies have a mind of their own. My daughter did not sleep through the night until after a year old. So, I totally understand where you are coming from and being sleep deprived!
I would have to side on the fact of normalcy. The more you stick with your pattern the the better off everyone will be.
Once you stick an odd house, traveling and stress that little one may not sleep at all. We took a trip when my daughter was around 10 months -- that did not turn out well!
She got her sleep schedule even more off track. She did not sleep well for a week.

I wish you and your family a happy holiday season!

I hope it all works out well

Hi H.,
I can hear your frustration and worry surrounding this issue. I am a parenting instructor and would love to give you some thoughts from my side of the fence. I would definitely not advocate letting him cry it out. At five months old this beautiful child does not have the capacity to manipulate you... he is simply trying to meet his needs. He Needs to know he is safe, secure, loved, etc. You mentioned not wanting to get him used to nursing again, did you recently ween him from nursing? He could be dealing with the change of that, the separation from that intimate closeness with you. Leaving him to cry it out only exacerbates his feelings of aloneness, causing him to be terrified more and cry harder trying to get his needs met with the only tool he has to use. Screams. What is the feeding schedule you have him on now? Is it hunger related? What is the sleeping arrangement, a crib in a separate room? crib in your room? I would recommend a hearty meal before bed (have you started cereals?)... and I would also recommend having him closer to you. I have a 9 month old who does not sleep throught he night, so I know just how exhausting this can be... and you can handle it one of two ways... giving him the comfort he is yearning for, snuggling close, nursing, falling asleep next to him.... or you can begin working towards comforting him to know that when he needs you, you will be there. This is a process and involves lots of physical closeness while he cries his fears away. Trying to avoid the solution that ends the crying, while staying close enough speaking comforting words in a firm steady voice. You're safe, Mommy is here, You can go to sleep, I am only in the next room. Don't feel pressured to "not give into him" - I sense worry that if you do that you feel he will never sleep through the night. If giving in is what it takes to stay sane and get some sleep, by all means. As far as the trip. I would get in touch with some of the worries that are making you dread this trip. If your baby cries in the night, you are not a bad Mom, your in laws are aware that you have a 5 month old baby, they at one time had babies too, and are aware that they awake in the night and may cry, and may cry hard, or cry for a long time. Be up front with your worries about it to them, they may be able to reassure you that it won't be a bother, that they would just love to see all of you. Be honest with yourself about those feelings... that will be the best way to figure out the reality of the sitation. Are you afraid, scared, sad, angry....? all of those are okay to feel, and normal.
I'll look for some articles relating to sleep itself for you, email me off list if you will so I can attach them in response to you. My email is ____@____.com
I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have any other questions
B.

I say go to the inlaws. I would let them know your concerns and ask them if they can find a different bedroom for the 2 yr old. Maybe she can have a bed on Grandma's floor. It would be a special treat for her and you won't have to worry about the baby waking her up... if there are other of your husbands siblings going maybe she can have a bed with her cousins, or in the living room, again a special treat for her and you don't have to worry.

The disruption in baby's schedule might be a good thing, I generally don't think so, but it may jsut tire the little guy out enough to sleep through the night. Maybe he is ready to change his daytime nap schedule.

I am not sure how big he is, but I have a big boy (he was born at 10 lbs). He was not satisfied with just milk at 5 months so I started him on cereal a month early... you have to watch and make sure that he can swallow it, if not, stop giving it to him.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Maybe Grandma will be happy to help out in the middle of the night too. She may just look forward to rocking the baby at 3am... my mother would and it may strengthen your relationship with her... let her help if she is willing. You might even ask her advice (if she isnt' a basket case). You might be surprised.

First of all, I wish these pediatricans who say to let babies cry it out would offer to come over and handle it! You wouldn't believe how many doctors have their babies sleep with them, but they're great at the tough advice for others!

Many, many infants are awake off and on during the night and they grow out of it. I worry as much about the emotional trauma of not meeting their needs as I do about anything else - just speaking from experience as a grandma.

These trips to stay with relatives are never ideal but the good thing is they are short and don't happen all that often. They also build good memories for the children and are a gift to the grandparents who long to spend more time with their grown kids and grandbabies.

Kids usually adapt better than we think and realize they are in a different set-up for awhile. I'd go and bunk the kids in with you and nurse/comfort during the night. I found with my own kids that they needed extra cuddling and nursing when we were at other people's homes and I was spending a lot of time talking with adults and not putting them first during their waking hours. After a few days at home, things settled back into a routine - if there was one.

Family get -togethers are often messy and inconvenient but, in the long run, I found in my life that they were worth it. Now that my folks and in-laws are dead, I don't regret the sacrifices and my kids have fun memories of those somewhat crazy times we spent at Grandma's.

Try to relax and keep your sense of humor. I can tell you are a very loving mom and want only the best for your family.

Mine didn't sleep through the night until over a year either... ugh... I feel for you. Check out the Ferber Method if you haven't already. Maybe you can get him sleeping before you go. They just short of guarantee after three nights he will sleep.

I understand your problem. Part of me dreads doing any kind of travel because it typically disrupts the schedule that I have worked so hard to keep my girls on. I am a firm believer in doing what is right for your family FIRST! If you think that your in-laws will be understanding then I would talk with them. It is not worth you being stressed out! You don't want to hurt them so tread carefully. If you think it will really upset them then think about any scenerio or creative idea how it "could" work.

In regards to sleeping issues. Both of my girls (3 years and 8 months) have been wonderful sleepers. I do not believe that they are this way inherently. I truly believe it is because I have always kept them on a routine (naps, bedtime...). Both girls have slept through the night religiously since they were capable (a few months). My little one had a time when she would wake up at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. ( when she was 6 months) All I would do is walk in, make sure she was ok and then leave the room. That is IT! No cuddles, not talking...If you condition your son to get anything when you come in he will keep waking up. It only took about 10 mins for about a week and she was back to sleeping through the night. Good luck!!!

You might be surprised...changing up his schedule and his environment might be exactly what he needs. it might exhaust him with all the excitement.
You should go...
Your inlaws were parents of young children once, they understand a crying baby...don't worry...go have fun for the holidays...

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 32 weeks old. You should never let your baby "cry it out". He's crying because he needs you. If your son is waking to nurse, then nurse him. He's crying for a reason, and ignoring him isn't solving the problem. In time he'll sleep through the night. Don't cancel your holiday trip. Keep the baby near you - portable bassinet - and when he wakes, put him in bed and nurse him. Your trip won't be a long one, and both of you will be fine.

when my youngest daughter was about 2 months old we went to my husbands grandparents house for 4th of july. she wasn't sleeping through the night but when we came home from that weekend she was. the change in her environment didn't affect her. plus there was a full house, and i was sure the family would wake up to her crying but nobody heard her. a year later for the next 4th of july she had stopped sleeping through the night and now she was just over a year old, we went back to greatgrandmas house and she started sleeping through the night again. very strange but it worked out fine for us. we used the pack n play and she slept fine, and i was still nursing her at the time (actually untill she was 15 months) but then again if you don't like your inlaws it is a perfect escape plan not to see them (haha)

First of all, all babies are different and will sleep through the night eventually. They don't understand that you just want to sleep and you feel like you're going to go crazy if they don't figure out how to sleep soon. I have a nine and a half month old that my husband and I will be dealing with for Christmas. Not only do we get over a week in someone elses home but we also will be handling a 24 hour train ride to get there. Our son goes back and forth with sleeping. He's teething, so it's been a real roller coaster. I've heard if you try to give a bottle of water at night that it could break your babies body from the desire to wake up for calories. I tried it and it's hard to get him to fall asleep with a bottle of water and he fights for the breast, but it did help a little bit.
I've went back and forth with my feelings on "cry it out", I've done lots of research and I just can't do it. I'm grateful to be a stay at home mom and be able to take a nap during the day when needed. It helps.

Other than just hang on and try to enjoy those moments with your little one at night, however hard they might sometimes be, take one day at a time and go see family and relax. I'm guessing grandparent's won't mind being woken up at night by the sound of their precious grand baby. And also remember, there will be me stuck on a very long train with a baby that can crack your ear drums with his piercing screams and who also is not sleeping through the night. Yeah! Someone always has it harder! (I like to think about that when I get down) :) :) :) :) :)

I'll be praying for you. God Bless! You'll make it through.

Hi H.!
I nursed my little guy for 23 months, so we had the same issue with 'wanting to nurse at night' all the time. When I'd finally had enough with the nighttime 'comfort nursing', I tried this....and it worked!!!

I would go into his room when he cried out....give him a hug and a kiss and then curl up in a little pre-made 'bed' on the floor near his crib...where he could see me. I had put a pillow, a sleeping bag and some blankets down there at bedtime. After 2-3 nights he figured it out..I wasn't getting him out...but I was there. As a couple of weeks went on, it got less, and less and less. You are still in for some rough nights of interupted sleep, but you can do it and so can he! Good luck & I hope it helps!!

I am saying this with as much respect as possible...your pediatrician is GROSSLY misinformed. Although some infants can sleep "through the night" there is a multitude of reasons that they wake up. Goodness...he was inside your body snug and warm just a few months ago!! Here are some tips I hope help you. Keep him close. Preferably in your room in a co-sleeper (they are cheap, help prevent SIDS and provide better sleep for ALL involved). It will help both of you sleep better. Also if you are nursing wake him up for a feed just before you go to bed. Give him a snuggly (blanket, stuffed animal etc) to find security in and soothing music is a real benefit. It is ok to let them fuss for a few minutes but as I am sure you've noticed your reaction to this is to want to go to him. Go and soothe him but try to refrain from taking him from his crib if at all possible. Plus 8-9 hours without a feeding for a nursing baby is a LONG TIME! Follow your instincts about the holidays. I prefer to stay close to home to keep the kids routine. I did the above and have 2 wonderful sleepers (2 and 5). Good luck!!!! La Lache League can probably provide some help and talk to the women in your life vs. your pediatrician...(does he even have children???)

D

H., after our kids were born, we did a Christmases away for a while, then we decided to tell everyone we would no longer be traveling at Christmas. Partly it was because of all the craziness of us all sharing a tiny room (and if we stayed at a hotel we would have offended his family), but also b/c we want our boys to have Christmas in their own home. Now we go to my parents house for a weekend in December, and his parents usually come visit us in January.

Hi H.-

I feel I could give you better advice if I had a little more information. Is there a reason that you don't want to nurse him, other than the fact that he "should" be sleeping longer at night? Are you trying to wean from breastfeeding him? I think that if nursing is what calms him, it may be because he is just hungry, whether he "should" need to eat or not. If he is waking up, it is because he needs something - it may be that he's lonely, hungry, wet, whatever. So, when he wakes up during the night, you need to meet his basic needs first. If feeding and changing him makes him calm down and go back to sleep, then you really have your solution right there. Some babies are just not ready to sleep through the night at such a young age (and I KNOW mine weren't sleeping 8-9 hours at that age). Doctors have to speak generally because they look at what he average child should be doing. However, every baby is different - all three of mine were! My kids probably slept for about a 5 hour stretch at five months - on a good night. Don't expect your baby the "fit the mold" of what the doctor or books say, because they will always be different in one way or another

As for the holiday part, my advice would be different depending on what YOU really want to do. If going to stay with your in-laws is something you really WANT to do, then I would say go for it. No one will mind the baby crying, because everyone knows that is what babies do. It will probably be harder to get baby to sleep and stay asleep, but that is how it is when you travel and worth it if you want to have a nice visit with family. However, if you really DON'T want to go, then I wouldn't do it. If you go out of your way to do something that you really didn't want to do in the first place, you may find yourself resenting your husband/in-laws while you struggle to deal with the baby at night, and you will probably not have much patience with baby either. That certainly wouldn't make for a good visit!

I hope you find some of what I have said to be helpful. Good luck with everything and let us know how it goes!

I had the same problem with my son, who's now 4. I used a small fan for a consistant noise in the room and it soothed him to sleep better. I now have a 1 year old that I've done the same thing with and she's been sleeping great since then. Hope this helps!
C. R

Well you asked for advice and this is mine...not all babies are the same. Your doctor said he should be sleeping through the night...well that is not always true for every baby. And at 5 months! My son did not really sleep through the night until he was one years old. My girlfriend's girls slept through the night at 6 and 8 weeks. My other friend's baby didn't until after 1 too. The one pattern I have noticed is that breast fed babies usually take longer to sleep through the night because they are usually fed more frequently.

At 5 months, I would think a nursing baby would still get up because they are hungry! Just my thoughts. Good luck!

H., first of all dont be ashamed to have a 5 month old, soemtimes they dont sleep well, its ok, sometimes we dont sleep well, also he is at the age of possibly teething, and if he needs a bottle at night, give him one, he might like to be swaddled or held more, its ok, also grandma or motherinlaw might have some good suggestions, dont miss out on family fun, just cause a 5 month old does not sleep well, and its ok if they share a room. so just take him, and maybe give him a car ride , and a bottle, or try swaddling him , wrapping up in a blanket slightly tight, go enjoy your family and just love him and let others in family suggest things too, let them see how he is, he might fool yah and go to sleep, maybe he needs to be played with more before bed , so he an sleep , i dont know, but dont let your children prevent you from a nice time out with family , that is unless you dont really want to go and are using them as an excuse, then do what you have to, any way , have fun and enjoy life, D. s

We have to travel 12 hours to see my family. When the kids were young, it was a task. However when we had babies, we chose to stay at a hotel v. the in laws. It gave the kids time to get into their routine, a place to veg without expectations and stress for the parents as well. If you can't afford that, then I would separate the two kids (just in case). Also if anyone would visit with a baby less than a year during the holiday craziness and doesn't expect them to be off their schedule they aren't being realistic. Babies cry and you have a baby. Also some kids are so worn out that they sleep better when visiting, so don't assume it's going to be awful!

When a baby is hungry, a baby is hungry. She can't help it if her hungry tummy is waking her up and she wants to nurse. This took me years to realized, and I don't know why (cause it totally makes sense), but our bodies will tell us when we are hungry and when we are not. We should eat when we are hungry and not force ourselves to eat when we are not hungry. You can try to schedule her the best you can, which I would think would be about every 4 hours, which is 6 times in a 24 hour period (the suggested times to eat per day). Or, try to go every 6 hours, which would feed your baby 4 times in a 24 hour day? Think about it that way...kind of puts it in perspective doesn't it? I don't know why it took me so long to look at it that way, but now that I have, I now realized why my kids want to eat every 4 hours and it makes more sense to me. Oh, and I think it takes 4 hours to digest food...not totally sure on that one, but you could check with a doctor to be sure...which would make sense as to why we want to eat again in 4 hours.

In my experience, letting them cry it out has to be a 1000% (not a typo!) commitment or you have to be willing to get up once or twice a night to nurse the baby. Waffling somewhere in between is torture for you and the baby. I have always let them nurse during the night at this age. A friend of mine had twins and simply HAD to get them sleeping longer, but once she decided to train them, she actually wore earplugs to sleep! Her husband could hear them if their crying got out of hand, but it did not bother him so much. If she heard them, she was a wreck and knew she would give in too soon. In less than a week they were sleeping 8-9 hours. But they did not like it at first!
5 months is pretty young to assume that she SHOULD sleep through the night. If she wakes is it simply for a quick feeding or a long session of nursing and rocking to sleep? Is it once or twice, or multiple times all night long? I think all those things are worth considering - my babies usually just needed a quick snack and they were right back asleep. No diaper change and I barely woke up!
Maybe you need to make a commitment to a choice of how to deal with nighttimes now and leave the Christmas decision for a few weeks down the road once you and the baby settle your nighttime differences :) I wish you all the best.

As crazy as it may seem alot of children/babies sleep better when they are gone. Your infant will be busy with alot of interaction so he may be more exhausted. Have you tried feeding him some cereal before bed? I know alot of friends that have done that at your infants age and it really helped. Holidays can be a frustrating time of year especially with the situation you are going through but try to go so you can still have fun. Call the relative to inform them of the situation and leave it up to them with what to do. Good luck!