Holding Back Kindergartener for Sports

sounds like he's ready for kindergarten! don't hold him back for sports....that is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!!!
just my opinion...good luck!

Holding him back could possibly give him an advantage in sports but look at the likely hood of becoming a professional athlete. It is very small. If he is a smart kid I would do what is best for his education. He is much more likely to do well (get scholarships, ultimately develop a high earning career) if his brain is engaged and he is challenged.

No brainer. Sports versus academics? Academics. The child should proceed with what his teachers instructed you. The husband needs to think of the brain power versus phsycical (spelling off).

Academics are more imporant that sports and the possibility of doing well enough in a sport to get a scholarship is very small. You say he is one of the biggest in his class, so it sounds like his stature won't be a problem. By the time scholarships and sports start to come into play, the age difference between your son and his classmates will not be nearly as big of an issue as they are at this age.

Plus, do you want him to start off his academic years (2nd year in) being a discipline problem? You don't want to get him "marked" that way in the school because he is bored and your hubby has a pipe dream of a state championship football player.

My son just turned 5 last week and we debated, as you did, whether or not to hold him in PreK one more year but came to the same decision that you did -- he has learned all PreK has to offer, he will just disrupt the class. Luckily, my hubby isn't all about sports so your problem wasn't something that came up in our decision making.

Keep praying over it, and pray for God to give you a clear answer that will be right for your son, not just pleasing to your hubby.

God Bless and Good Luck!

Hi M., I talk with parents in this situation quite regularly. I am an elementary administrator in a surrounding DFW district. This will be one of the hardest decisions you will make. Whatever you decide, GO STRONG! Don't look back, don't second-guess! It will be easy down the road to do that at certain points, but don't! It is easy for many to say the sports issue is silly; however, I hear this a lot when you look at all circumstances involved and actually plot out a pros/cons list. I know that academics are your greatest concern. A family member of mine went through this heart/mind battle last year. Her son turned 5 last August and (was)is very bright, tall and a social butterfly. They decided that the gift of another year to mature even more was the right decision for them. He would have been fine in kinder last year. I think the difference will be that this year he has the potential to be at the absolute top of his class due to the extra maturity he has gained. I am not saying that all parents should wait, or that being at the top of the class should be your greatest concern either. I am just giving you an example of someone that has walked this road recently. I have seen kiddos come in with late birthdays and excel. But, more often our younger ones tend to struggle more here and there. You know what will be best for your child and that is why each case is different! We, as educators, are here to serve your child no matter if they have a December or August birthday, no matter their social status or maturity level. A few things that might help you decide:

1. Did the school he will go to have a Kinder Round-up? We give our entering kindergarteners a little assessment when they come into register so we can then have an informed discussion with the parent explaining what the parent might want to work on over the summer etc...
2. Talk with others who have been in your shoes, go with your gut!!

W.

Hi M.,

I was in your exact same situation just 2 yrs ago.
My daughter was a summer b-day and trying to make the right decision to send her to Kinder as a 5 yr old or 6 yr old was on my mind night and day.
We started her in Kinder at 5 only to take her out in the middle of the semester and put her in the 5's program.
My only wish is that I had not started her in Kinder but put her in the 5's program first. She had a hard time adjusting to the transition of new friends and started crying every morning I dropped her off.
So she finished her pre-k 5 class and starter Kinder as a 6 yr old. THAT was the best decision I could have made. My concern was not related to sports but I was concerned that yes she may be very smart and mature for Kinder but what about middle and high school when young girls are faced with more peer issues and situations?
I want her to be the most mature she can possibly be when faced with a troubling situation.
I've learned that the benefit of holding them back a year really shows in their middle and high school years and that's where the extra year will really benefit the child.
I would highly recommend to ANY parent out there whos child has a summer b-day to wait the extra year.
It can only hurt to start them to soon but it can never hurt to wait the extra year.

Good luck in your decision and hope you don't have to many sleepless nights like I did!
Take Care

I'm a teacher. In my opinion if your son is doing well in PK and you feel he is emotionally ready and does fine socially then I say send him on.

Please remember that in public school a child must be 5 by Sept. 1st. Will your son be 5 by the 1st?

Now on the other side of the coin: My son was very bright and he has a December birthday. He didn't make the 1st deadline so we sent him to private K and then he has just completed public kinder this year. He is top of his class and does well with sports and social skills, too. I was worried about him being bored but he wasn't. He was given opportunities at his academic level and did quite well.

Do not hold him back. Even the discussion about sports is not really valid---you say he is "big" for his age and that size will probably continue as he ages----that alone --being the "tallest" or "Biggest" in the class --sometimes has issues--do not make it any harder on him ...in the future-----did your husband ever think..sports may not be his thing anyway........the teacher, in all probability, has seen many children and should be a good judge of his academic ability and social skills-----souds like he is ready to go!!!! L. (Mom of 2, grandmother of 3)

I have heard of parents holding kids back for academic reasons, but I don't think I've ever heard of holding a child back so he will do better in sports when he's older. Think of it this way, your child is in school first and foremost for learning, not extracurriculars, although, as they get older, the extra stuff does count for something when a college is looking at an application( this kid did good ACADEMICALLY, along with being involved in extra activities), they, in my opinion should not be a consideration in holding a child back in a grade if academically that child is doing well, they do get bored if they are being taught something they already know, then they start to fail because they already know the stuff and don't feel like they need to try. I wouldn't consider what sports my child was going to play in high school when he or she is in kindergarden, thats too far down the road anyway, and shouldn't be a worry at this time.

my concern would be - what if he doesn't like sports when he's older? what if he ends up acting out because he is bored and not being challenged enough? good luck! i would go with your gut and what the teachers are thinking

That is a tough call. You wantto do the best for now and the future. I held my duaghter back. She is very bright but is tiny. I wanted to give her a chance to catch up grow wise. Not a problem in your case...my daughter is still the smallest in her class, we are hoping it will pay off later. But the great advantage now is that she loves school. She is in some honors classes and get to special things thru the school b/c of it. We know that this is just elem. School but we are hoping that this will give her a good taste of how important an education is and allthe wonderful things that are out there when you are at the top of your game. Now my sister has a boy 6 weeks older than my daughter and she did not hold him back (he was also at close to the cut off on age). She felt he was ready to go. He seemed advanced for pre-school and was one of the larger boys in the class. He attended kinder for about 2.5 weeks and she pulled him out. He was not ready emotionally for the big adjustment. So now my daughter and her son are in the same grade (2nd) and he is doing fabulous. To be honest...his grades are even better than my daughters. I really think if you have a chance to give him a little extra edge...whether acedemically or physically...you should take. You may want to stretch him at home so he does not get bored this fall. Maybe change daycares or an activity that challenges him. Good luck! These life long choices are so hard....just can't see the future. Oh just another bee for your bonnett...i read an article in teh dallas morning news about parents holding their children back...especially boys for sports/scholorship reasons. So look around, how willit play out... Will he be the average size 16/17 year old to graduate or will he be the 17/18 will an extra edge....what is the trend in your area????

Did the pre-K teacher mention any above level sports skills? Maybe his future scholarships will be academic. As a mother of a summer boy and a veteran teacher (13 yrs) I say send him on. He will thrive in a stimulating environment and that will help with sports too.

My son will be turning 5 in August as well and we too have been trying to decide what to do. We have decided to hold Brendan back but when we asked ourselves the same questions you asked we got back a lot more no's. I think my son is academically ready, but socially and physically I don't think he is so we're holding him back and hoping he doesn't get too bored in Kindergarten. It is hard to know what to do but it seems like your son really is ready and if he really is the biggest in his class already then sports probably won't be an issue. Whereas my son is the smallest in his class and was already being picked on somewhat for that. I say go with your gut (I am) because Mommy instincts are quite often right.

KB

Hi M.- I have 2 sons with summer birthdays (July and August) and we held both of them back. We were told that they both were absolutely ready for school, but my husband and I decided that we would give them that extra year . I do not regret the decision at all! One of them is going into 5th grade and the other will be going into the 2nd grade in the fall. They both do great academically and they fit in wonderfully socially (lots of friends!) Something to think about: they will have their drivers license when they are a sophmore (not having to wait until they are a JR- socially that will be great for them :) ) and when they graduate from high school, they will be 18- not 17. Like I said before, we do not regret the decision at all.
Good luck!
K. M.

My son (7/22/03) will repeat pre-K this year to gain social maturity. I have to agree with a previous post. There are right and wrong reasons to have a child start kindergarten later... sports is not one of them.

Keep praying about it, and the Lord will give you a clear answer. Your "mommy gut" feeling is probably the Holy Spirit talking to you. Pray for a clear as day answer.

Me, personally, I have a 4yr old boy who will turn 5 on July 30th. We are going to hold him back. He is smart, but emotionally not mature enough. He will go to Pre-K this year. That is what is best for our son. You need to do what is best for yours.

Good luck,

G.

I really get frustrated with parents who hold kids back soley for sports. Academics should be their first priority with sports being a positive extra activity. I do NOT think you should hold him back just because he MIGHT be good at a sport. If he is academically and socially ready, he should go to kindergarten. If he does have a knack for a sport, he'll get the scholarship. If he's pretty good and needs to develop, coaches can see that (my father is a football coach at UT Austin, they know potential if the kid is a natural athlete). But, the reality is, there are only a small handful of kids (in the big scheme of things) that get scholarships, even if they are pretty good. So, I think the focus should be on academics.

On another note, if you hold him back and he is a academically gifted as his teachers seem to think, he probably will be bored and get into trouble. I have 2 gifted children (as defined by the schools) and know how that can affect their ability to be challenged in the classroom.

One more thought. I graduated high school at 17 and was then able to finish college in 4 years and thus able to start "the real world" at 21. For me, that was great. I was young but able to start working and getting my 401K, etc. I mean, if you are looking at his future, that 1 more year of saving for his future might be worth it to him! I know it's a bit far fetched, but I really did like that I was out of college and still young.

Good luck with your decision. Continue to pray and talk to your husband. It's very difficult when spouses disagree on things like this. Try to talk to people that have done this and see how their experience worked.

Hello!
Children normally start school when they're 5 years old, so he's right on target. I wouldn't hold him back. His age won't affect his ability to get scholarships later. He could get a sports scholarship or academic scholarship.

Think of how much fun he will have. Let him progress, and enjoy watching him grow and learn more and more.

Happy Kindergarten!

My sons birthday is in July and I had the same delima. However i finally decided to hold him back. I have to say it was the best decision I could have made for him. We did preK twice and he had a different teacher the second year. I was greatful that she made it a point to keep him challanged and engaged in class. He is now getting ready to start the 5th grade. He is an amazing student and excelles very well in sports. The thing is your son might be big now for his age but that can always change. In select football the age cut off is July 1st so it does not matter his grade it is all about birthdays when it comes to little league sports then as he gets older he will have more maturity than most of the boys his age. It is a difficult decision because what you do now will affect the rest of his life but I would not change my decision for anything and I have several friends who have done the same thing. Good luck!!!

I know you already have more than enough responses, but we faced the same thing and did not hold our son back because I too felt he was academically ready and because I couldn't justify the sports reason. However, I will say you should look at it from the angle that if you do decide to hold him back he will have a lot of CONFIDENCE because he will likely be the smartest, fastest, most mature child in his class.

He can't be in sports if he has disipline issues. He will always be the older kid in school. Trust your instincts, its always right. Good luck and God bless!

He will age out of high school sports on his 19th birthday. As a high school teacher, I've seen quite a few star football players fall off the radar - athletically and academically - as soon as their 19th birthday happened.

There are many many more academic scholarships than athletic ones out there - and they don't depend on a functioning ACL to be able to finish college.

My son (a smart big kid, who already excels at t-ball and soccer) will be 5 tomorrow. He's starting kindergarten next month. I turned 5 in November after starting first grade. The only thing I would have done differently is starting sooner.

In case that doesn't tell you my opinion here ya go: School is for academics, not athletics... fun though they may be. Send that boy to kindergarten. :)

S.

Our son repeated Kindergarten and it was a big mistake even though he has a late summer b-day. He is academically advanced. He could read before going into kindergarten and is amazing at math, but they held him back for maturity reasons. This only made the maturity problems worse not to mention the weirdness he felt when he went to school and all of his friends were in 1st and he was in Kinder. It has taken many years and a new school to get him back on track. Had he not been ready academically he would have been fine, but he repeated a grade he had already mastered and it just led to more behavior and maturity problems.

My younger son was in a similar situation (August 30th birthday) and essentially we held him back at 1st grade, but that was easier for us because we switched schools to a very competitive private school. And, fortunately, although he was way ready academically and well ahead of many of his classmates, the teacher gave him extra work and workbooks to do to keep him busy. So, if you do decide to wait a year, you could talk to his teacher about this. Note that teachers were telling us, as well that we didn't need to hold him back.

And, like another poster, I don't at all agree to hold back for sports. HOWEVER, that seems to be the thing to do in Texas AND in that case, your son could be going to school with kids almost 18 months older. This may not seem like a big deal now, but when these other kids are driving 18 mos. ahead of your son, hit puberty 1-2 years ahead of your son, and socializing with girls, the difference will be huge. Also, his size now doesn't really predict his size when he's a teenager. It was envisioning the teen years that motivated me to hold my son back. I did not want him starting college when he wasn't even 18.

I have been reading about this phenonmenon of "red-shirting" a child to have academic or sports advantages. I think it is unnecessary to do if your child is ready and one of the best people to help decide is the teacher. As far as your husband wanting him to be the best at sports, it makes me wonder what if your son does not continue to be interested in sports, or worse yet, the pressure over the years from your husband on your son could break his spirit.
I think it is more important for your son to be happy and growing well and attend kindergarten this year just as his birthday falls.

My story is a little different here. My birthday is at the end of the year (Dec. 29) and the state I lived in had a Jan 1 birthday deadline. Which meant I could start kinder at 4 or wait until 5. I started school at age 4, turned 5 half-way through the school year and did very well. I never minded being younger than the other kids in my class. I got my driver's license 1 month before graduation and it didn't bother me. I graduated 30th in a class of 286 at age 17. Of course, I didn't play sports, but that's because I had no interest in it. I started college that fall at age 17, and had a wonderful time. Looking back, I'm so glad my parents didn't hold me back. I always felt better knowing that I would graduate "earlier" than my peers because I was the youngest in the class. It helped my self-esteem to know that my parents believed I was bright enough to start at a younger age than everyone else.

That being said, I don't think holding back strictly for sports is a good enough reason. If there are other concerns, then do so, but if not, then let him go forward with the knowledge that his parents believe in him and what he is capable of achieving.

I'm not sure I understand the concept behind holding back a child with a summer birthday, but I guess I better get a handle on it now since my son's birthday is Aug. 20.

I usually tell parents that it's best to hold back boys if they're on the cusp, just because they tend to be more immature. But if his teacher said that he's ready, he's ready! Don't hold him back or he WILL get bored and have discipline issues.
I do get the sports thing. I do. But that's not a good enough reason if he's ready. If you were on the fence already, then yes. But he's ready, so send him.

Your situation sounds just like ours. Our son turned 5 last week and is going to K this fall. He's tall for his age, everyone thinks he's 6 and has been for a while, and he's very bright. Socially he's more than ready for K. We decided that any sports advantage he'd have later would take a background if he was always in trouble because he wasn't challenged. Besides, I'd rather him have an academic scholarship because he found school interesting than a sports one that he was always bored with. Sports scholarships are too iffy to base an academic future on, there's always budget cut-backs or something, or worse...an injury. Make school fun and challenging for him and send him to K if he's ready to go.

I have 5 children. The child that is the most gifted athletically doesn't want to have anything to do with sports.

If he gets bored because he really should go ahead in school, instead of being held back, he may become a trouble maker in school later, and not be able to go out for sports. The main thing should be maturity, etc. The teachers seem to be telling you he is ready. I know an August birthday the way things are now makes a person question it, but did it ever occur to your husband that he may have a lot in great interests, but being #1 in sports may just be his priority like a lot of parents instead of the childs?

All I wanted to say is I'm born on July 31st. I wish my parents would have held me back. I was very smart so they decided to start me. It really won't matter for the next few years, but it mattered in middle and high school. I was ALWAYS the youngest and socially that can be harsh, especially for a boy. Whether we want to admit it as adults. Our social and athletic lives have a great deal to do with our academics. Think about the fact that he won't even be eligible to drive until he's a senior. Plus, maturity wise, it does make a difference.

Hi M.,

We have a boy with a summer birthday. We did private Kindergarten and then public Kindergarten. Our choice was based on giving our son another year to mature and get a good base, my husband liked the helping with sports aspect. That being said, we just found out our youth football program goes by age not grade.

Your his parents and you know which will work best for your child.

We went ahead and put our son in Kindergarten (he turned 5 the second day of school). If the pre-K teacher says to go ahead, follow the advice. I was a preschool teacher for 7 years and I would say that the teacher spends a lot of interaction time with the kids and knows each child's abilities.

Are you in a private preschool? If so, you can always repeat Kindergarten at another school (this way the other kids won't realize that he is repeating).

Here is a good thought: If you start Kindergarten, you will have the option later to hold him back. Kindergarten may not be the year to make that decision. You may want to wait until he has shown actual "grades" like in 1st or 2nd grade.

I think you should go with your gut feeling. I will say my mother held me back a year because I have an August 26th birthday. I'm so glad she did. I think it would be even harder on a boy to be the very youngest. Some of the other boys in his class could be almost a whole year older and that makes a big difference. I have a son who is going into third grade and he has a Feb. birthday and I can see a huge difference between him and the boys that have Sept. birthdays. My daughter just finished Kindergarden and they expect alot from them. She started kinder aleardy reading. Every child is different you have to just follow your heart. Good luck to you and your son.
M.

I would not hold him back for sports alone, especially since he is very smart and big for his age. I held back my youngest son(July birthday)because he had a speech problem. He's 15 now and doing very well academically and athletically. But i did not hold back my oldest son, October birthday, as teachers advised me not too because he was very smart. Both situations worked out fine, but both were different. Don't make the decision to keep him back a year just because of sports.
Barb C.

We were debating what to do with our son for the fall for various reasons. When I spoke with our pediatrician he told me to stop overthinking it and go with my gut. He reminded me to worry about what is best for him in the upcoming year and to worry about the following years as they come. It helped to relieve my worry and as soon as I did the answer became clear.

There is no guarantee that your son will enjoy sports enough to continue on through high school. However, if he does you have no idea what the schools will be looking for, what his competition will be, or even if he wants to go to college (I'm hoping mine wants to go as well but ultimately it will be up to him at that point).

One more point to consider...if your son is mature enough to go and academically ready and you probably have the advantage of knowing who will be in his class next year. Will holding him back take him away from being in class with his friends? Is he on the same maturity level as the other kids that will be in his class?

Good luck!

My daughter is extremely small for her age, she is almost 4 (August 17) and has just now started to wear some 3t clothes and barely on the growth chart (5%). When she was at her last well child visit, her DR and I actually discussed whether or not I plan on holding her back for school. My response was an automatic no. He agreed with me saying already she was socially there and extremly smart for her age. I know it might be hard on her for a couple years, but she will eventually grow more and be just like everyone else.

I do not agree holding a child back just in case he/she might be good in sports. It is not right at all and you could be hurting the child more in the long run. Unless there is a good reason in fact, our pediatrician said that no parent should hold there child back. Such as major behavior problems, or you just do not feel they are ready. You as a parent are THE BEST judge of character on what your child should do. Go with your gut.

I have a 10 year old daughter with an August bday and I sent her on because she was extremely verbal and smart. She commends on her tests in school to this day- she just finished 5th grade. I worry EVERY single year that I possibly sent her too young. She does great, but I worry when school starts...she will JUST turn 11 and start 6th grade. I don't think I would worry if she were just now going into 5th grade. Boys don't usually mature as early as girls, and if you do keep him back one year, you are definitely giving him greater chances to excel in sports AND academics. He may have discipline issues regardless of when he starts school or he may end up not being athletic at all. I taught public school for five years, and I could always tell who my babies were. And I always told my parents to go with their gut feeling. Teachers get to know your kid (along with 15-20 others), but you are the one who knows what would be best for your child. Good luck!

I thought I'd give you my 2 cents. I was in the same boat 3 years ago. My son's birthday is August 8th. I'll give you our history.
I was a teacher before I became a SAHM. My son had only had a semester of preschool before he went into kinder. I had homeschooled him up until that point and he went to preschool to experience a different type of learning environment. I had intended on putting him in public school and he needed that experience.
My thought was that if he had any trouble adjusting to that type of environment I'd hold him back for a year and he would continue preschool until he was 6.
Like yourself, I knew my son was bright but unlike you, I wasn't sure if he was ready for the "school" setting. That is where you have the advantage, if you son is ready for school socially, you are one step ahead!

As for sports, that didn't cross my mind because I was preoccupied with other thoughts. My husband, on the other hand, was fully aware about holding back for sports. As a man that has played sports his whole life and received scholarships for sports, he knew all about it. He was against holding back accidemically for sports. This may be because he did not play sports through the school program. He played on leagues and select teams through his school career.
My husbands thought was...you can get far more scholarships through academics than sports. Some kids have athletic ability, some have the academic ability and some have both. You offer them all at the appropriate time and let the child's ability choose which path they take. At the young age of 5 there is no telling what path the child will take so you have to offer it all and let them experience everything.

The preschool teacher's findings:
At the end of the year I met with the preschool teacher for a conference. What she said surprised me. She thought he was so far ahead academically AND socially that if I held him back I would be doing him an injustice. She thought that there was no reason at all to hold back a child that was excelling at the rate he was. I asked her opinion on being the youngest in the class and getting picked on for size and her response was simple. Everychild has certain things they have to work through. This may or may not be one of those things for him. Teach him how to get through it. She was a great teacher, and I appreciated her straight forward opinion.

What we ended up doing:
In California there is a half day kinder program, that's what I wanted but they just don't have that here. So I chose a private school that had a 3 day program and homeschooled 2 days out of the week.
We were going to move him on to public school the following year. BUT he did so well acidemically and socially that we kept him at the private school in the program that they were using. We had no intention on continuing at a private school, we have a great public school system here and I have nothing against it.
My son will be going into the 2nd grade this year but he will be working at the 3/4 grade level. If we were to keep him at this school and he continued at this rate he would still be attending high school but taking college courses. This eliminates him graduating early, which maturity wise, he may not be ready for.
He plays soccer, baseball and football and hockey. Yes he likes them all but is getting to the age where he is beginning to love a couple of them and I figure he will continue with the couple that he is totally enthralled in and good at.

So not to base your decision on our experience, it's just another example of it working out. Gosh, I remember those months of wondering what I was going to do, it was very difficult for me. You only want to do the best for your kiddos and the decisions can be so hard!

Good luck, I wish you all the best!

Kim

PS I just read this over- sorry it was so lengthy!

If his teachers, who have experience in this kind of thing, are saying he should go ahead and start, then you need to follow their advice. Sports aren't going to matter if he has to struggle in school becuse of disciplinary problems or boredom. Academics must come first and foremost. You have no idea if he'll even like or be talented in sports. He may be an artist or musician. Follow you're gut, you may regret it if you don't.

M., let the "rule" make the decision for you... since he is supposed to start, let him start. If he doesn't do well in Kindergarten, you can always hold him back. If he is as big and bright as you say, then holding him back now could be a bad thing. Also, if he's already a big guy, then he'll probably continue to grow ahead of the curve anyway. I have had to make similar decisions for different reasons... just go with the recommendation of the system and the teachers.

M.,
Many years ago(my summer baby will be 25 soon)I too had this decision to make. My son is was very big for his age and he had been in a pre-k. I finally decided that I would send him to kindergarten and if he started having problems socially or academically I would just pull him out and start him the next year. He did fine and I never looked back. He was one of the youngest in his class but he did good in school and had many friends. Trust your gut....you know your child better than anyone and in the end you wil do what is right for him.

The main issue here may be the difference between you and your husband. Moms and dads think differently when it comes to raising their children. Which is a good thing! I think you both are doing what you believe would be best for your son. I suspect your husband would read the other mother's advice and roll his eyes. He may think that if this was a male forum he would get more support on the sports issue.
So what do you do? You may want to keep the peace with your husband. I would guess you already know the answer. Trust your instincts as a mother. B.

Hi M.. I have 8 kids (2 girls and 6 boys), of which three of the boys have summer birthdays (June 23, July 13 and June 2nd) Our oldest (June 23)was very smart and mature and we sent him to KG at 5. He has done very well in school, has many friends, but he did not bloom physically. He is a Senior now and has the size and strength but had he been held back he would have played a lot more every year because size does affect their playing time, even if the have a great attitude. He would have also played Varsity last year too and have better chances at scholarships for football, etc. The second summer birthday boy we held back and Thank God! He has been almost the smallest in his class even though he is one of the oldest... His size is affecting his ability to play even though he is a "beast" attitude wise. The baby is two y/o and we are holding him back that extra year. Hold him back, it'll be best for him in all areas, and he is not the only one... it is very common in Texas for parents to hold back kids with summer birthdays, especially boys! Not to mention that with an August birthday he is going to be very young compared to 99% of the other kids. And teachers don't know everything, sometimes they haven't even had kids of their own. Do you what you and your husband feel is right. He will be more mature in all areas and you can always keep him busy with sports and teachers can always give him extra work if he is too bored.

I can't relate as far as sports other than to say that it is tough to get scholorships but I KNOW they're not based on size - if he excels in it one year will NOT make a difference. Academically though it would be very detrimental to him to not be challenged from the very beginning. Additionally, kids do talk about birthdays like constantly when they are school age and it won't take them long to figure out he didn't start school "on time" and come up with some really mean things to say - you don't want him to get picked on for something out of his control. Kids can and will be very mean - it's hard to imagine because he is still young but believe me - school is a breeding ground for mean, setting people apart and you don't want him to be labeled the "big dumb kid", no offense intended but think about how kids are to one another! Please listen to the teachers, they live this stuff every day! Good Luck to you and your little guy - I know it's tough to be the mom, you want the best and these decisions are for life!

Hi there,
Its a tough one...I have twin boys with birthdays right before the cut off also. While I wouldnt really hold him back because of sports, I also agree with the other posters that you can definitely see the difference with the boys with summer birthdays when they get older. Both my husband and I were the youngest in our classes (we were born in Dec and the cutoff where we grew up in MA was dec 31st then) and we both hated it. Last to do everything. How is he socially? If he is ready socially as well as academically I would probably send him. I would hate to see him bored because the work was too easy for him. Good luck in whatever your decision!

M.-
Wow, that is a tough one. I think I'd have to side with the teachers on this one. In the past I have told friends to think about how old they want their kids to be when heading off to college and that helps them make the decision to hold them back. Most kids either are not socially ready, are not as big as the others, or are not academically ready, but your sons seems to have it all together, so I say send him!
My birthday is in late July and I was always the youngest, but it didn't stop me from getting a full scholarship to college. I know it is different with boys, but I don't think one year will make a difference if he is a good athlete.
Good luck.
-K.

I know you have already received a million responses--that is a good thing, because it shows that this is a situation that is quite common. I wanted to put my two cents because of some information posted by another mom. You do NOT have to file any official paperwork to keep your son back a year. My son's birthday is August 22 and we were encouraged to hold him back by the director of the preschool he attended, even though he was tall for his age and was on track academically (this is a current trend in education, whereas 20 years agao the trend was tp push kids through). We are very glad that we did in our particular situation. Even though everything appears to be great now, things can change in a heartbeat. My son went from being at the "top" of his preschool class and being nominated for gifted and talented in Kindergarten to really struggling with reading skills in first grade.

Holding you son back should have nothing to do with sports, but this is a typical male response. I would be more concerned about your husband not being open to other avenues for your son. What if he is a gifted musician or artist? What if he is interested in science and technology? I was an athelete in high school and currently I teach at the college level and here are some rough statistics:

Less than 10% of high school students get athletic scholarships, and less than 1% get a "full ride." Not only does a student have to excell in his/her sport, but the school's team must be impressive to catch the eye of the recruiters. However, the percentage for academic scholarship can be as high as 24%, depending on the institution and other factors.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

I don't want to come off harsh but I am a teacher and have heard this comment a thousand times. The chances of a kid making it in sports is one in a thousand. And seriously do you (I mean your husband) believe one more year will make that big of a difference. The teacher who said he would get bored is right, and do you know what happens to kids who are bored...they become behavior problems which leads to visits to the office which will lead to suspensions and which will lead to no chance of sports. If your husband wants to leave his options open, he should be looking at his sons options of being a doctor, lawyer or a teacher; think academically. Remember young kids are CRUEL...if your son is bigger kids will let him know it. There are a millions reasons why you shouldn't do it (listen to his future teacher) and one reason why you are thinking not to.

Sorry I wanted to add...to anyone who is thinking about it and you are worried about if your son/daughter will struggle (you know if they are not ready) holding a child back is your decision. You can choose to do it or not regardless on the teachers position...and it is always better to hold back in kindergarten or first grade. Remember in first grade kids are learning to read and after that they are reading to learn...so if kids are struggling don't second guess it...hold them back and give them a chance.

I read someone say something about being able to put your kid in a gifted program if he is that smart and you retain him. That is not what a gifted program is for. They do take into account their age....and it doesn't take "being smart" to qualify as gifted it takes a whole lot more

please call harlan about tennis lessons for five yr olds at city of mckinney for summer camp. my phone number is ###-###-#### c thanks.

You never know what the future may hold, but you know holding him back now could cause problems, so send him to K this year if he is ready. If he is meant to play sports and be good enough for a scholarship in 13 years then I don't think a year is going to make a difference.

Call your local principal.... my daughter will be 5 in Aug also. She did not do well in preschool and they recommended that she repeat preschool. I called our local principal & the FWISD office, they said if she did not go to Kindergarden, then she would be 6 next year and would have to go into 1st grade. Well I did not want this to happen. The principal and FWISD said Kindergarden is not a requirement. It would be an easier "fight" for me to have her repeat Kindergarden, then to regiser her for Kindergarden at age 6.
I am kinda hoping she does need to repeat Kindergarden because I do not want her to be the baby in the class.
I hope this helps.
B.
I hope this helps.

I think that having a kid who is bored in school is much worse than being the smallest or the youngest. Kids who are bored - they know the answers as soon as the teacher asks the questions, and decide they don't need to listen since they *obviously* know *everything* - may start to act up to get attention in class. If you start your son in school now, and he's not ready, you can always pull him out or have him repeat kindergarten next year, but it'll be much harder to push him up a year down the road if you hold him back now.

Hi M.! I know you've gotten lots of responses, and lots of good advice, and by all means you should consider everything and do what you think is best for your son and his individual development. I'd just like to comment on the scholarship consideration. I'm a college professor, so from my perspective, looking ahead to your son paying for and doing well in college, here's what you should consider: 1) only about 2% (yes, you read that right) of high school athletes are offered athletic scholarships to college. Of those 2%, most of the scholarships are relatively small (say, a couple of thousand dollars a year), and studies have shown that even if you get a scholarship, it will almost certainly NOT make up for the parental financial investment in sports in the pre-college years. That is to say, you'll spend thousands of dollars on sports teams, equipment, uniforms, travelling, etc, over the course of the next 18 years, and the scholarships will be for less than you already spent. Sports are good, and your son can learn a lot from them, but you should NOT look at it for financial payoff, because very, very, very few student athletes are able to make it pay off. 2) At my college, and many others, your son is eligible for more and better scholarships based upon academics than upon sports. Plus, students on academic scholarships have a MUCH better graduation rate. So if you want your son to go to college, graduate, and get much of it paid for, you're much better off concentrating on academics than on sports.

Again, you should consider your own child's development in making this decision, and I think sports are a good and healthy part of any kid's life, but you should NOT make the decision based upon a very slim hope that he will someday get an athletic scholarship.

Go with your Mommie gut and send him on. I have some experience with this situation. Since he is ready academically, socially and physically, it would be a great disservice to him to hold him back. One of the worst things academically and socially that can happen to a child is for him or her to be bored at school. This can lead to all sorts of problems. If a child isn't challenged, he will begin to act out in many ways and may decide that he hates school. That is certainly not best for your child or for your husband's dream of him becoming a star athlete. You should read about this issue in parenting mags and websites. There are many cases in which a child should be held back, but this isn't one of them. As an August-born girl, I started 1st grade (this was long before kindergarten was mandatory) after turning 6 a couple of weeks earlier. I couldn't read until after Christmas. I was embarrassed, humiliated and thought I was stupid. It wasn't a lack of intelligence that prevented my learning to read at the same time my classmates did. It was the simple fact that my brain had not yet developed the capacity to read. It did shortly after Christmas, and by the time I was in 3rd grade I was reading every Reader's Digest Condensed Book (the kind for adults, not kids) I could get my hands on. Granted, Readers Digest Condensed books aren't exactly Tolstoy, but, it's pretty impressive for a 3rd grader. My mom learned her lesson with me, and held my brother back from entering kindergarten at age 5. My brother was an August 29 birthday boy, small and a little immature for his age. Instead, she enrolled him in a pre-kinder program at Greenhill and there he flourished. He was extremely successful in his academic career. No matter how much you want to honor your husband's dreams for his sons, you should always let your mommie gut rule. Mommie gut knows best!! Good luck.

Looking at this from a different angle. He could become a discipline problem being bored. He also could walk out of your home being 18 before graduating not finishing school as mind did. Both my children broke my heart and left at 17 and we were responsible for them until they were 18 even when they were not living with us. Neither graduated High School One got a GED later and one is doing great without it. But if he is smart and gets straight A's in school look at the advantage of College? He could even graduate early. G. W

I don't have a boy that was born in the summer, but I have two girls that fit this to a tee. My oldest has an August birthday and my husband and I debated over this as well. I would defintely go with your "mommy gut" here. I really haven 't regretted having my daughter go on. I'm actually quite glad. She is very advanced for her age (in a gifted program in our district) and socially is right there with her peers. The only thing that bothers her is the fact that she is one of the youngest. But, someone has to be the youngest! :) Best of luck!

I don't have sons, and my girls are still little. The teacher in me feels really strongly that you should do what is best for him socially & academically. Sports are a maybe for him at this point in his life. But he will need to get along well with peers and feel success in school, which will shape the way he views himself, and ultimately impact his confidence in sports, too. It sounds to me like he has the maturity and is ready, then he should go. Just my thoughts. Good luck!
A.

If he is going to public school and he is 5 by September 1st, it is a State law that he is in school. You would have to file a request and it would have to be approved. If you want to that, which I would NOT reccommend, you better get busy.

Listen to the teachers and send him to school.

I think you should trust your gut feeling. This is a no brainer! You know he's doing well academically but Dad wants to hold him back because he "might" do well enough in sports to get a scholarship? My son is very athletic and does well in sports but we would definitely not use that as an reason to hold him back. I've heard of parents doing this because the child is older for his grade level if he/she is held back and supposedly there is more opportunity for scholarships for this reason. But I've never heard someone doing it to a 4 1/2 year old! Wow! Seems like Dad is putting some high expectations on his son. Hope he doesn't burn your son out on sports before he's 10! Good luck!

Place academics on the top of your scholarship list. If he's ready and his teaches concurs then send him to school. I have two sons and both were the oldest in their class and neither did sports in high school.
Holding your child back for your husbands desire for him to be the best in sports is putting his needs first, not your sons.
Send him to school and enjoy every moment of the time. It's a fun ride, but ends way too soon.
Good Luck and enjoy having the smartest child in the class.
J.

I know you have gotten a lot of feedback, but I had to give my 2¢. My daughter's birthday is August 6... I put her in Kindergarten the year she turned 5. She is (and was) very mature, makes straight A's, and gets along well with others. BUT... there are many times I wish I'd held her back. More as they get older, they are exposed to things that I wish she was one of the "older" ones.

When she was in Preschool, I did what you did. I talked to her my aunt (teacher 20 year), 2 of my sister in laws (both teachers), the preschool teacher and the head of a Pre-K program and they all said "put her in school, she'll be fine". One of them did not -- and it was my sister-in-law who also had a daughter that was born in August. She told me all the struggles Allison would have ... I WISH I WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER! Like you, I struggled with it but I made the wrong decision.

Right now, Allison will be 16 in August. She is the absolute LAST one of all her friends to drive -- she hates that. She has been the last one to get to do everything. Plus, she also has friends who are already 17 -- the kids who had summer birthdays that their parents held them back.

When she graduates, she'll only be 17. She has already told me that she may not want to leave to go to college after graduation due mainly to the fact that colleges require them to come early and she'll just barely be 18 -- a lot of her friends will already be 19 or close to.

When we moved to TX, she was going into the 8th grade. I really wanted her to repeat the 7th grade so I could "right my wrong" but the school wouldn't let me because of her grades. She has always been a straight A student but would have had a lot less stress over it if she had been held back -- life would have been so much easier for her if we had. If I could do it all over again, I would have kept her at home (in preschool) for another year. She'll be a Junior this year and I STILL wish I would have kept her out.

AND, definitely if he's a boy! Please let me know what you decide.

We have struggled with the same issue. The most influential person was my brother who is now an anesthesiologist. He was moved ahead and was the youngest, skinniest, last to drive, struggled to ask girls out guy in his class. He is adorable and obviously didn't suffer academically but he is still mad to this day that he was basically limited to tennis in sports because he had not hit his growth spurt. Plus, I have enjoyed my extra year with my boy before the schedule starts for school. Mine was also the smartest and biggest in his pre-school class - and he's a nice guy who would do well either way. We decided to look for ways to challenge him if needed and let him go later- he starts this year in Kindergarten and will be 6 in September. The consensus has been boys do better socially if they are older. Who knows, but whatever choice you make will work out fine. After all, my adorable brother did! J.

You should allow him to go to school. My son went to k 5 at the age of 4 and he is very smart. This helps him grow socially and it will also help in sports that everything is a team effort.Acdemics are more important than sports in the long run. The mind is forever the body is not. So dont hold him back on a what if plan follow your gut. Good Luck

I have a friend that her son is a summer baby. She let him go to K when he was supposed to then and the end of the year they re-evaluated and decided that his social skills were not quite ready so he stayed in K again. He is also #4 of 4 kids.

It sounds like your son is a first born and a big brother. That makes a lot of difference. As for sports I am not sure that is a reason to hold him out. Generally there are 2 grades mixed in extra curricular sports. So he will have time to grow into one he likes. I have a set of twins that are 9. Only one likes sports the other is more of an artist.

I would listen to your sons teachers. Let him go to K and look at his accomplishments in the middle and the end of the school year and see if he is where you want him to be.

Please listen to your son's teacher and send him to kindergarten this fall. She has other students to compare him with as well as, knowledge about what helps children have a successful start in school. It sounds like you and your husband care a lot about your son and have nurtured him well. That along with being a first born and his own learning style, interests and abilities will make him successful in school far more than the age he starts. As you describe him it sounds like holding him back would be detrimental rather than benifical. As an early childhood educator myself, I have studied this subject a lot and found it is usually parents who want to hold children back while early childhood experts do not recommend it. The social and emotional damage as well as dislike of school that could come from being bigger, older, and bored next year is not worth any misconceived idea about a sports advantage. By third grade, children have developed to the same level both mentally and physically. They are not even ready for true competitive sports until then. By high school scholarship time, their success is based totally on ability and interest - not age. I recommend you visit this website http://www.bodymindandchild.com/ for solid information from well known early childhood experts about enhancing your child's development especially as related to school and sports.

I have an August baby, too. I started him 'on time'. His daycare teachers said he was ready (extremely smart - IQ off the charts). He passed all the readiness tests. And, boy what a relief not to have to pay for daycare anymore. I wish I had waited. Readiness tests, social skills - you have to do what you feel is right for your son. Don't let the pressures of what everyone else thinks for him - go with your gut. My son struggled in the school setting and I honestly think it was because he was such a young 5. I really feel that holding him back another year would have helped him tremendously and he wouldn't have struggled quite as much.

Okay, taught public school and coached for 13 years before having kids, just have one now in the same boat and one on the way...
EVERY kid is going to run into struggles; we don't want them to, but they will. They all go through it at different times. For my son, he WILL be little regardless, so that will be our battle.
Sports will not make that big of a difference in your son's life. If he is athletic, he will be athletic regardless of what grade he is in and may even get MORE opportunity to play up at varsity for longer. Size wise, I get that a year later will help. HOWEVER, at some point they all catch up to each other. So you look at him being a great high school athlete, then gets a college scholarship (small chance in TX if it is football...which is the driving sport...if not football then the post earlier about more money and opportunity through select and club teams is 100% correct), gets to college and sees that he ain't all that because there will ALWAYS be someone bigger and more talented at the next level. See Roy Williams as an example in the NFL!! So the question becomes, do you teach him to deal with not being the best at a young age and emphasize what he IS GREAT at (or heaven forbid, character), or do you turn lose a 19 year old to cope with that on his own in an environment where you have no voice while he is away?
I have stopped worrying it and will make a game time decision...however, our boys will be 18 months apart and I do not want them in the same grade, so that may be our fix.

My son will be turning 5 in August as well. No one has ever told me to hold him back, he is very smart, social and listens to his teachers very well. He is small though.
I would never dream of holding my son back because of sports. If he is going to be great at sports then he will be great at them, it is not going to have anything to do when he starts school. My hubby, daughter and son are all very athletic and very much into sports, and they are all VERY good at them too!
I feel learning comes first. My daughter who is 7 plays select softball and she knows if the grades are bad she will be pulled from the team!!You're not going to get a scholarship if you are as dumb as a box of rocks either.
Good luck with your decision!!

WELL I AM NOT A MOM BUT A NANNY, BUT I HAVE SEEN THIS VERY THING HAPPEN, TO MY OWN GRANDSO0N. HIS MOTHER HELD HIM BACK FOR SAME REASON YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT NOW, SPORTS. BUT THAT IS NOT ALL THERE IS TO A GOOD SPORT, THEY HAVE TO ALSO DO WELL IN THEIR CLASSES OR NO SCHOLARSHIP EITHER. IF HE ALREADY KNOWS ALL OF IT NOW, WELL JUST HOW BORED DO YOU THINK HE WILL BE A YEAR FROM NOW & JUST STARTING SCHOOL. MY SON HAS SAID OVER & OVER HE WISHED HE HAD STEPPED IN & SENT HIS SON ON TO SCHOOL AS HIS AGE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BUT LET WIFEY TALK HIM INTO IT. HER DEAL WAS CAUSE A LOT OF "MONEY" KIDS WERE STARTING WHEN HER SON SHOULD HAVE SO LETTING THEM AHEAD OF HER CHILD THINKING HE WO0ULD SHINE BETTER A YEAR LATER BUT DID NOT WORK OUT JUST TO HER LIKING. TRUST ME SEND HIM TO SCHOOL & LET HIM LEARN NOW. DON'T HOLD HIM BACK. & ANOTHER THING HIS FRIENDS WERE NOW A GRADE AHEAD OF HIM & HE DOES NOT LIKE ____@____.com PLEASE SEND HIM ON & HELP HIM ALONG THE WAY AS HE NEEDS IT & IF HE NEEDS IT.
D., nanny of 5

M.,

I can speak to this one. I have 2 kids with August birthdays. I would recomend you holding them back for another year. No matter how mature they may seem the extra year does wonders for their self esteem as well as their maturity. What I was able to do was send them to kindergarten then hold them back to kindergarten the next year. Generaly they will let you chose the second teacher. Look at it this way, would you rather send your almost 18 year old kid to college or send an almost 19 year old one to college? Both of my kids (Logan a boy almost 17 and Glenna a girl almost 8) have sone so well since keeping them back. Both leaders of their respective classes and excellent students. So do your baby a favor and let him grow up another year.

B.

Feel free to call me if you have any questions. I have a lot of experience with this.
###-###-####

I have not gone through this yet and never will because my baby boy's b-day is at the end of September, so he will be almost 6 when he starts, BUT both my much younger brother and sister went thorough this. Their b-days are 7/7 and 7/5 one year apart and both of them started school on time, both of them do great and were asked to go to the classical center in Garland and my sister, now a junior in high school, is in the bachlorette (sp) program for advanced students, my brother is average but his reading level has been in the top 10% in the nation since he was in 3rd grade, and you know, who knows who will be good at sports or not, and even if he was wouldn't you want him to have an education to fall back on, so personally I would say, let him start focus on the education and just have fun with the sports, sports don't really even matter until your in high school and by then your either small or big, good or not. That's just my two cents, good luck in your decision.

Send him. It is appropriate to help him back for maturity or academic reasons, but not for the mere possibility of sports. If he is destined to be at the scholarship level as far as sports he'll be there whether you hold him back or not. Please don't let anyone begin putting sports pressure on him at this early age.

You've gotten so much good advice here. I just wanted to add that my nephew (with an August birthday) was very bright and mature, but my SIL wanted to keep him back because he was small for his age. Big mistake. By second grade, he was so bored and miserable, they moved him up to third grade in the middle of the year. He is now a 7th-grader. He's still small compared to his classmates, but he is so much happier. His behavior was never bad, but it became exemplary once he was challenged intellectually and surrounded by kids who were at his same level.

By the way, I know kids are bigger now, but my "small" husband was a soccer star in high school, and my "small" cousin was a star on his COLLEGE basketball team. The skinny short guys can often run circles around the bigger guys. :)

I work in a private school in the admissions office. We spend a great deal of time counseling parents on JUST this issue. We've even moved our accept date back because of it.

Don't hold him back ONLY for sports. Hold him back because he's a boy and young. Even if he's big now, and smart now, and mature now - there is no guarantee that he will always be. Once those hormones kick in, boys get unbelievably unpredictable. His hormones will kick in later than those in his class, and it will be VERY evident. Not to discount preschool teachers, but in our office we consistently see prek kids that teachers RAVED about that are nowhere near ready. Sending a child too early is a hard experience for them, and a terrible way to start their educational career. In this instance, err on the side of caution, and don't regret it later. If you think he will be bored, switch pre-schools so that he is exposed to a different style, and different materials. Do you want him to be a leader or a follower? If he's among the youngest, guaranteed he will be a follower. If he's among the oldest, he MAY be a leader, certainly will if he's intelligent too! With the general trend being older, it's just the thing that makes most sense.

Send him now! If his teachers and you think he is ready, then there shouldn't be any doubt. As far as holding him back for sports, that is a silly idea. However, if you wait and he is bored, you could be dealing with a child who doesn't like school and becomes a problem in the classroom. If that starts at an early age, I doubt he'll have the self-esteem to excel in sports.

i would not hold him back at this point. We considered holding our son back in kindergarten because he won't be 6 till Wednesday. his teacher said wait and see, and if we need to, we can hold him back in first grade. she was concerned about behavior problems and him getting bored repeating kinder. IMO sports is not a good reason to hold him back.

I would seriously consider holding him back, but for a reason other than the sports potential. Boys are notoriously usually less mature than girls, and this can often lead to misbavior in the classroom as well as other social issues. We held my daughter with the August birthday back and have never regretted it. She is so much more mature, grades come more easily, and rather than being the last in her class to drive, she was among the first, but we had more control as to when she could extend her boundaries, etc. I now wish that we had held both of her older brothers back, but they had mid-year birthdays, and we never considered it. However, both would have benefited greatly from it. Incidentally, none of the pre-K or kindergarten teachers ever thought there was a reason to "red shirt" them, because intelligence and ability was high. If you hold your son back, he might also be more likely to be accepted into gifted programs, and if a child sees themselves as being smart early in their lives, that image will follow them for the rest of their lives. Good luck!

Hello I have a daughter w/ a summer b-day too-- i would find a 5s program that would be able to be counted as kinder but allows you one more year to make a decision. Smart kiddos usually are a little bored in Kinder and first and then things get more difficult in 2nd grade esp. in Public schools. If you do give him the gift of time-- you will most likely need to challenge him more in kinder and first -- I did this with my daughter... IT is ALWAYS better to be the oldest and NOT the youngest--in the class-- the youngest as they get older usually seem to be struggling.... it is always easier to enrich a child verses always playing catch up...esp...as they get older and their little bodies begin to change/sports/etc activites/ and social growing up issues.... Better to give him the gift of time now verses taking the chance later and having to HOLD him back in 4th/5th or6th grade when it would be 10 times more difficult then.....My 4 year old son has an Aug. b-day and we are already planning to send him to a 5s program too! goodluck!

Hi M.,
I, too, have the same situation as far as a boy with a late summer birthday- my son's birthday is Sept. 1st- the cut off date.
This is my opinion, but I just wanted to let you know that I taught middle school for 10+ years before getting married and staying home, and I believe the real "maturity" issue comes into play much more then rather than at the Kindergarten age. The boys that were older were taller, bigger, and tended to pick on the smaller, littler guys. I don't even want to think what goes on in the school gym locker rooms- but I have heard some stories and I would never want my child to be the youngest in his class. The middle school years are such a hard time as it is, that adding the pressure of being one of the smallest (and still with a high voice), just makes it so much tougher.
Also, I really don't want my son going off to college having just turned 18 (or in my son's case, still 17).
I know it's a hard decision. But, if you could just spend one day observing a typical middle school day, I think you would see the HUGE difference in the boys with the early birthdays vs. the late birthdays.
Good luck,
R. B.

My 20 month old has an august 23rd birthday and we plan on keeping him back because my husbands b day is august 13th and he was kept back and he said he liked being the oldest in his class rather than the youngest... we will reevaluate as he gets closer but we would rather have him the older bigger one in the class than the smaller youngest one.

If he is really smart he should qualify for the more advanced, honors classes and challangeing him should not be a problem. I have heard that it is really more about maturity. so base your decision on how mature he is not how smart... just my thoughts,

good luck
A. J

I would like to address your question on two levels...I am not a big believer in holding back for "sports". I think that is somewhat absurd quite honestly...at 4 I don't think parents should start putting that kind of pressure on the hope of a sports scholarship. With that being said, I do think you should hold your child back. I was an August birthday - August 20th. I was very bright and a little social butterfly. At five the maturity diffence didn't rear it's ugly head, but as I got older the difference was notable. And then at that point it was too late to hold me back - I was in the gifted and talented program, but emotionally I wasn't equipped like the kids that were almost a year older than I was. You have to remember that your son will be the last to drive, 17 when he leaves for college, etc. While I don't advocate the idea of holding back for sports, I do think that you have to look down the road at the issues that arise when you get into the pre-teen and the teen years. It is a definite challenge. Good luck with your decision!

I first of all want to commend you for praying about it. Prayer can help tremendously. Most of the responses are for holding him back. However, there was one thing that I read in your request that I did not see mention in any of the advice and that is that your gut instinct is telling you to send him then I say go with your gut. God blessed women with great gut insticts so we might as well use them (LOL)! As far as your husband wanting to hold him back because of sports, remember he is 5. There is plenty of time to worry about sports. What I would do (and have done with my daughter) is start them early in sports. Let them try everything and then support them in the sport that they like. As a coach, I have seen a lot of parents force their kids to play a sport that they do not want to (I've been guilty of this in the past). However, I have learned that if the kid doesn't enjoy the sport they will not be able to strive. Also remember that more doors can be opened with Academics than with sports as far as scholarships go! Another thing you might consider is going ahead and put him in Kindergarten. If he does not do well socially then the Kindergarten teacher should pick up on it very fast and you might consider pulling him and letting him start the next year. My best friend who is a teacher (taught kindergarten for several years and now teaches first grade)enrolled her child into a private kindergarten (I believe it was through a church). He did fine academically, but not socially. He then repeated Kindergarten at a public school and is doing much better. However, being in a small town this may not be an option for you.

Really no one can tell you what to do except yourself. We can help by giving you suggestions, but ultimately it is your decision. My best advice is go with your gut, send him to Kindergarten. If the pre-k teacher is telling you that he is fine both intellectually and socially then he will more than likely be fine going to kindergarten now.

I went through the same thing with my daughter...she just turned 5 in June. We go to a private school also. They offer a PreK-5 and a Kindergarten (of course). My daughter is academically far ahead of the other kids in her PreK-4 class but we just weren't sure. Finally, a lady at my church gave me some great advice....she said she always heard parents say that they wished they would have held their child back but she never heard them say, I wished I wouldn't have held my child back. At the private school we attend, we also have the flexibility to skip a grade later if it is appropriate. Ask your school about that. If you have any doubts, why take the risk? When asking this question to other (mostly public school)moms, they always said "she's ready!"....what does that really mean? that she's average or not "slow"? I want my child to accel and be top of her class. A few months back there was an article in the Dallas Morning News that talked about research on children and their beginning age in school. The children that were older were by far the highest percentage of children that finished top of their class as a senior! The child may be "ready" for kindergarten but will they struggle a little in 5th grade? You can't predict that but there is less of a chance if you wait for them to be older. In my private school most of the kids are older that attend. It's your decision...but my vote is hold him back! Once I made my decision, I was at peace and I struggled for a year! good luck.

Hi M.,

I have a son with a July birthday. I'm from England and you can't "hold back" there so I didn't think about it at the time. He is now about to go into 6th grade and there have definitely been times over the past 3 years where I wished I had held him back. The issue for us was not how smart he is but how mature he is, he is definitely less mature and less organized than the older kids. We ended up moving to a charter school just so he could have the extra attention in class that he needed. It wasn't a discipline issue more of focus and being mature enough to handle what's needed for TAKS etc. For him it was not a problem K - 2, it really started in 3rd grade. They really do expect a lot from kids now - lots of homework and preparation for TAKS. We also notice that he tends to have friends who are in the grade below him. I think this is a really hard one to decide on as it has to do with personality too and it's hard to predict how they will mature! I wouldn't worry about the sports issue, my son love sports and has no problem competing with the kids in his grade who are older than him. Good luck!

Judi

My son also has a August birthday and still to this day have not regetted holding him back one more year. He is now 17 and doing awesome. Your son will be fine if you deside to wait and hold him one more year. I have worked w/ chidren in the RCISD schools for the last 8 years and seen alot of children and parents in your shoes, it's hard. It will not hurt him one bit. A. B.

We mommies are faced with at least a dozen if not a million of these decisions throughout our child's life and it can be excruciating for us to think we hold our child's entire future in our hands. It sounds like your situation is truly middle of the road and not leaning towards one way or the other. I would offer two things that I try to keep in mind during all of these decisions. When you look around you at the adults who you meet on a day to day basis can you tell from their success or outward apperance which ones went to kindergarten when they were five and which ones were held back? What I'm saying is you love your child and are active in his development, this will not make or break him. My second piece of advice is if it is important to your husband follow his gut, He will remember this decision, your son will not.

I haven't read the other responses, but I think your decision is probably the better of the two. If you think about it, you want your son to excell academically. That is important whether or not he choses to do sports or not. If he does sports and can't hold his own academically because he developes behaviour/learning problems during his early years of school, it will set him up that much closer to failure if he ever wants to do anything besides sports. You never know what a child will chose to pursue as an adult, and if it's sports, that's a risky thing to depend on. You never know when there will be a debilitating injury, or when your best just won't be good enough. If he can do well academically, he will have a better chance at doing well no matter what. I am a firm believer that sports are wonderful and have their place, but their place should not be the number one place.

I've taught preschool and kindergarten, reared 5 kids, held my daughter back (Aug 25), and have a 10-year-old grandson (Aug.4) who was held back. First, maturity is more important than just IQ and size. If your son is self-motivated, has a good attention span, isn't fearful of new things, then DON"T hold him back. He'll be a leader in his age group.
I tried to dissuade my daughter and son-in-law (a football player!!!!) from holding back my grandson, but they did anyway. Now he is a discipline problem due to boredom. He's had some super teachers who recognized this and gave him challenges that helped, but when he gets a teacher who just doesn't want to be bothered, he LIVES in the principal's office!!! I predicted this, so it's a touchy subject between my daughter and me. Needless to say, I've come to despise football!!!

I've seen people hold their children back because of various reasons and it really does hurt the child. Maybe you are afraid to "let go" a little bit? It's always hard to send your little one off to school, and it's hard to be the youngest in the class, but it's also hard to be the oldest. Especially a year older...

I would not hold your child back. What if your child isn't good at sports or even interested in them at all? What if he gains scholarships on intellect or music or art instead? What did holding him back a year really help, then? That's just me, I am not in the same situation, both of my boys are fall/winter babies.

You'll make the right decision for you and your family! :)

Well I'm not going to have that dilemma because my son's bday is in Dec. so he will be 5 1/2 in kinder. And I really don't understand the holding back thing for sports either. But all I wanted to add was that my dad sent me an article from the Houston Chronicle that talked about holding back boys since they mature slower than girls and it would be easier for them to do school better when they start.

Even if his bday was before school started, I don't think he'd be ready to start kinder since he is somewhat immature compared to other 4 year olds.

But if I were you, I would put him kindergarten and if it doesn't work out, you could always put him in a mother's day out program until next year.