Anyone have expierience with a hoarder? What did you do? Where to start? Very hard subject. Thank you.
I believe hoarding is an anxiety/OCD disorder.
There are therapists that specialize in treating anxiety disorders.
My former MIL was and is a hoarder.
My ex husband and his siblings refused to do anything about it because they didn't want to upset the cart...
this was before "hoarding" was acknowledged - we were staying at their place before we left for Belgium and I was sickened - because it wasn't just hoarding it was lack of house cleaning skills. My ex and I went to the store and bought cleaning supplies, vacuum cleaner, gloves and then we bought new sheets and bedding - it was disgusting...we came back and closed the door and started cleaning - there were millipedes, centipedes, dirt, excrement, urine - urgh - my stomach still turns just thinking about it. Any way - it took me 2 hours to clean the bathroom and another 2 hours to clean the room. I vacuumed the bed too. We had stopped at a laundry mat to do wash the bedding before we went back to their home.
He (my former FIL) is a scientist - so you would think he would have some skills to organize, clean, etc. but nope.
They had phone books going back to 1976. Magazines and newspapers going back to 1960 something. piles and piles, there pathways through the house. When addressing the issue of keeping things - they both stated it was important for research...
We had offered to buy tubs to put the items in but they wouldn't have it. They "needed" their piles. I've not been to their home in 5 years - I can't. As it has only gotten worse...the family refuses to address the issue.
I hope you can work yours!!!
Yes, but not garbage, trash, food, animals, etc, mostly just magazines, newspapers, notebooks and clothes and furniture belonging to deceased relatives. It is my in-laws and I'm sorry to report we mostly just ignore it. We don't go to their house. My intervention would not be well received and unfortunately, this is how my husband chooses to deal with it at this time. My biggest fear is that my kids will end up as hoarders some day. Good luck.
I guess it depends on what you hoard and how much of it you have.
I'd like to be a hoarder like Warren Buffett, or T. Boone Pickens. Or maybe like Tim Geitner. You can stack those stock certificates, hundred dollar bills or gold anywhere in my house you want. I have a slab foundation, so don't worry about bringing in too much.
;~))
Good luck to you and yours.
There are many reasons people Hoard. If you are wanting to help them first they probably need counciling. Some people collect stuff and don't think anything needs to be done till it's too over whelming and they can't even handle doing anything about it. I would watch Hoarding Buried alive that might give you some ideas of how to start. It's not a simple process!
Good Luck and God Bless!
It's a mental illness and should be treated by a psychiatrist. It is often depression or compulsion underlying the behavior. It is definitely a sign of a bigger problem.
If someone you know is a hoarder she needs a professional to help, one that is experienced in hoarding and other anxiety disorders. It will be a long and hard road, and that is only if the person who is hoarding is ready for change, and even then, it must be done at their pace and over time. Best of Luck.
My mother is a hoarder. She is clean, but disorganized on top of the hoarding. I am OCD, but the other way - I have to get rid of stuff and have it in a certain order or I get 'twitchy'. I'm SURE it's a reaction to growing up with my mom.
You can't do anything. Whoever it is will need to deal with her issues. Just like with ANYTHING they have to want to change because the alternative is unthinkable. Right now, to your hoarding, getting rid of stuff is unthinkable and unsafe. They have to understand how what they are doing is buring them instead of setting them free.
My mom has had 3 (yes I said 3) 10x20 storage units at Public Storage for 10 year that are filled with boxes that are filled with stuff. yep $250/mo x 3. yep. I said it. It's the only way to keep her house inhabitable. But it just moves it around. it doesn't solve the problem. Because when I say they are filled with 'stuff' I mean it..... receipts from Target for bread in 1985 that she paid cash for... newspapers from the 70's... any card anyone has ever given her for any occasion...
My mom doesn't want to admit she's an actual 'hoarder'. She just says she grew up in the depression and remembers what it was like to "do without" so she "might need that stuff one day".
Because like all mental illness, everyone else can usually see it first.
You don't give a lot of info on who you know that is a hoarder, so what you do will depend on your relationship with them. If it's one of your kids and they have kids.... well you can use the kid as leverage (just like you would an addict.... "you want to be around to see johnny get married, right?). If it's your husband you can move out and see if that's the 'bottom' he needs. If it's your friend you can talk to him/her about why. If it's you, you can go to counseling and deal with whatever it is that spooked you.... that you feel you need to fill with stuff now.
Other than that... there isn't much you can do.
Good luck and I wish you much patience~
My SILS mom (classic collector/shopping addiction) things are getting dirty and impossible hoarder, my brother hoards cats and they take over his life financially and romantically stunts him, My good friend is a collector hoarder who has organized boxes and a pathway through his tiny apartment but is otherwise clean.
None of these people i know are really even thinking its a problem other than my friend,,,,who refuses to see a way out.
These people have to want to help themselves. Im sorry to be cliche but with this its so true. because of its nature it doesnt look to thew person as much of an issue because they slowly get used to it. They usually dont get help until they get evicted, or the sanitation department fines them.
Hoarding is an anxiety/ocd disorder that requires professional intervention. Parting from the things they have collected can be incredibly traumatic for hoarders, so just taking it away won't work and could actually make things worse because it produces even more anxiety. In addition, if the source of the hoarding isn't adressed, then they will just collect stuff to replace what they have lost. They need counseling to help then uncover the underlying causes and deal with them. Sometimes they need anxiety medication.
If you are dealing with someone close to you that is a hoarder, it may help to speak to a professional or support group who can give you some insight and strategies to deal better with them.
Hope this helps.
All you can do it talk to the hoarder and try to make them understand the negative aspects of their 'stuff'. If you go in and throw stuff out they'll just get more stuff and be back in the same situation.
My mom is a hoarder. My father died 3 yrs ago and since then she's filled the house with stuff. Last time I was there she had 20+ take out containers, tons of plastic fruit containers from the grocery store, 4 months worth of newspapers, every piece of junk mail ever sent, etc. I've cleaned things out in the past and within 2 weeks the piles were back and even higher. If you pick something up she'll tell you how she needs that because 'there's an article in that paper I want to read again; or 'I use take out containers for left overs' or 'those twist ties are good for holding up tomato plants.'
My brothers and I decided that we would just leave her be and shovel it all out when she's no longer alive. Sad but that's all we can do.
Yep, my MIL is a hoarder. As of spring vacation this year, our daughters are no longer allowed to sleepover because it's become unsafe. We haven't visited since memorial day and when we did, we were in the backyard.
What I did to help educate myself on this condition is get feedback from the mamas here on mamapedia. I also watch Hoarders Buried Alive on A&E and there's another one called Hoarders on Discovery Health. Watching those really helps on how to understand the hoarder's position on how they feel about their stuff. Why they see treasures and you see clutter and junk! At some point you will have to make some hard decisions. That may mean calling the Hoarder show for help for calling someone to move the invidividual from the unsafe home they live in. For us, its only visiting on cookout days. Anything inside is no longer an option and MIL is aware of that since her grandkids have spoken how they feel about it.
Good luck! I know its tough but one thing you don't want to do is become an enabler.
