Hitting up Friends for Donations

You say "Sorry, I have my own kids fundraisers." or "No thank you." or "I don't need any X right now." It is not rude of them to ask, and it is not rude for you not to support. When my kids have a fundraiser I will send out a mass email. Anyone who receives the email is free to support or not. There are times my friends kids are selling something that I want, but my own kids aren't selling and vice versa. In fact, I think I probably supported more of my friends kids fundraisers last year than I did my own kids, simply because they had better stuff. Many parents don't let their kids sell door-to-door anymore, so they instead hit up friends and family.

I would never hit up friends of mine who also have school aged kids to donate to my own children, that is incredibly tacky, I only send such requests to family members. That said, no need to say anything, just ignore the emails and move on.

That's a little different. Can't say we've had that. I'd just ignore.

Is it one woman, with 4 requests? Kinda weird.

I figure these things are no-harm, no-foul. If you are not interested, click delete. The end.

Just ignore it. Not worth getting upset over - some people cast a wide net when it comes to fundraising as they never know who might surprise them with a donation. Sounds like your friend(s) is/are in this club.

You don't need to respond to it at all.

I ignore email requests for donations. If they ask me face-to-face I explain that I've just donated to my kids' school.

My kids just brought home coupon books to sell. We are taking the buy out option because 1) I don't have time to ask people to purchase them, 2) I don't like being solicited and don't feel comfortable soliciting others on behalf of my kids, 3) if we take the buy out option 100% of our donation goes to the school vs a smaller portion of the sale.

I despise school fundraising even though I'm a teacher and see the huge benefits that come from school fundraising.

Don't get angry...these days a lot of the school fundraisers are all on line and they give out prizes just for sending a certain number of emails to people. If my daughter sent out 10 emails she got stickers and temp tattoos, if she send out 20 emails she got a bouncy ball, etc etc.

So now they get cheap crappy prizes not just for getting donations but also for sending emails, posting about it on Facebook and twitter.

It will even link to your outlook or google email account and give your child access to your email addresses. This is the part that ticked me off. I was there and helped my daughter send out emails. Picking only family and friends who might donate and didn't have their own kids to fund raise for....but if each of her kids logged on and it gave them a chance to win prizes by sending emails guaranteed everyone in her address book got one (x4) and she is probably mortified!!

Just don't respond it is ok...and will probably be kinder to your friend.

Just ignore them. After all you have your own kid's fundraisers to worry about. They can hit up the grandparents and maybe get some donations from them.

I guess you can't blame people for asking. I don't think it goes quite to "rude" - you never know what people will say. There's an old saying in sales and charity drives: "What's the worst that could happen? All they can do is say 'no'." But I do think 4 (1 from each kid) was overkill. That makes it 4 times as hard to ignore.

But ignore it you should.

This was probably a mass email that went to the entire address book. I'd ignore it unless or until you are contacted again by any of the kids or by the parents, either by email or phone. At that point, I'd say very little, just "Sorry, I'm already overwhelmed with donating to my own kids' fundraisers. Good luck though!" No excuses, no explanations, just a simple and cheerful "no" with no opening to discuss further. If you are pressed, don't go into your finances or your pressures or whatever. Just say, "I've been asked by so many people, and I just say 'no' to all and focus my efforts and dollars on my own kids' school." Then change the subject - "Hey, how about that football game last week?"

Don't stew about it. Life is too short.

I would ignore it.

I would not ask my family, friends or acquaintances for donations either, that's just me.

No. Just ignore the emails. More than likely the fundraiser gives the kids/parents the option to submit email addresses to "invite" friends/family to make a purchase of whatever it is they are using for the fundraiser. It's computer automated... but the in my experience, the kids have to submit X number of email addresses to be considered "participating" or eligible for some kind of prize drawing or something. The parents, I'm sure, don't care, but didn't want their kids excluded from whatever or seen as not participating by the school. Especially if it is a private school. My kids' school used to use fundraiser programs that did that so you could more easily reach out of town family.

Just ignore it. The mom most likely doesn't expect you to buy anything. If you saw something you wanted, she would be delighted, but I'm certain has no intent to make you feel guilty or obligated in any way whatsoever.

If you don't want to donate, don't. Kids are asked to get donations from friends and family. They hope you will donate but they don't plan on getting your donation.

I suggest there's no reason to judge the mom involved, especially when she didn't ask you for a donation. Just ignore the emails. No one expects that you donate. The boys are just doing what someone at the suggested they do.

i don't even respond to these at all unless i plan to donate.
which is never, unless the product is something i actually want.
(okay, my dh DOES buy popcorn from our nephew all the time. i wish he'd quit. no way we can eat all the popcorn we've got building up in the pantry.)
i don't think asking is rude.
nor do i think ignoring the request is rude.
they can email. i can ignore.
boom.
khairete
S.

I wouldn't even respond. However, the kids don't sell anything if they don't ask, so don't get so upset about it.

If they do happen to say something to you then say something like, OMG, do you know how many fundraisers we have to pay for for my own kids??!!!!! Or, I still have 16 candles from last year that I bought from my own kids! Just make light of it. Good luck.

If they aren't selling the same thing as your kids, why not just buy from them and then ask them to buy from your kids. We buy from our nieces and nephews and from our friends kids, but then they also buy from our kids.

I have a son in Cub Scouts, so I don't buy from my friend's sons when they are selling popcorn for Boy Scouts and she doesn't buy popcorn from my son. Also, when our kids are all selling pies for school, my brother and I don't buy from each other's kids.

But overall, we really try to support each other's kids.

So you thought it impolite or offensive to receive an email request for school donations? Interesting. I think more so, that it would fall under annoying since you received 4 emails for the same thing. My opinion.

But since you're not super-close and I guess, just acquaintances, you can reply by saying that you don't generally partake in donations but that you wish them success in reaching their goal.

To ignore them and refrain from responding may be a rude gesture in their eyes as well.

I get a lot of requests. I can not give to all and many are not close friends. Some people are not thinking of offending and just ask 'everyone' for something.

I would ignore it. If they are close friends they would be giving to your children and their fundraisers.

Just so I understand; one family sent you 4 emails or are you saying four different families sent you one email per family? If one family sent you 4 emails, well that is rude and possibly you are on some sort of auto-mailing list.

I wouldn't.. it most likely was an email that went out to many people. That's what so great about the trash button.. move on

It is rude. I wouldn't say anything and I certainly wouldn't donate.

No, it's nice you donate your school's needs. Most schools don't have parents that well off. I did tell one of my friends that there wasn't any way I was going to spend nearly $20 on a tumbler, that she should tell the coach that no one wanted to buy what they could go to Walmart and spend $4 on, for $18. She was a little offended that I wouldn't buy one because it was for "her" kiddo. That I should be that helpful and loving friend that would do anything for those kids. Ummm, no. Not for $18-$20 for a plastic tumbler with a lid, good LORD! NO!!!

So I simply deleted the conversations on FB and let it go at that. If she asked again I told her that I couldn't afford to spend that much more than I could go buy the same thing for much less.

I also told her that she needed to be vocal at the parent's meetings. To tell them that no, she wasn't going to buy one of those and that her friends wouldn't either. I also told her if she didn't go and stand up to these people that she could just go buy them herself. She didn't and her team child didn't get kicked off the team, her child didn't get penalized for not selling over 20 of those ignorant tumblers.

She finally got the message.

Why don't you just tell them that you've already made donations to your own kids' school and can't afford to do both. Either that or don't reply at all. There's no obligation. They probably sent that email to everyone in their address book. They probably wouldn't notice if you donated or not.

If it weren't so rude, it would be laughable. Okay, well, it's still laughable. I will bet that they get NO bites!

Ignore the emails totally. If they come to you about it, just laugh and say "Sorry - we have to give money to our own school fundraiser. But I promise you that I won't send you a fundraising email." Then just turn away and continue to chuckle.

Some people!!!!

I think you need to respond.
Say "No, Thanks for asking but we participate in other fund raisers and don't have the resources for others.".
There is no harm in asking - BUT - you should let them down in a way where they now know that asking you is not going to get the desired result.
This lets them skip you in the future and they can spend their time hitting up other people.
Ignoring it means they are going to keep asking you - and that would irritate me a lot.

Ignore it.

I have to fundraise for my daughter's dance. I try not to be pushy, but sometimes I feel like I am. It is what it is. If people don't want to participate, they can tell me no and I have no hard feelings.

If you have to reply, just let her know you can't do this one and have to fundraise for your own kid, so you'll have to pass.