High Functioning Asperger Daughter (Gluten Free) Behavior Help Needed

I know absolutely nothing about this but I am reminded that a friend was having issues with her gluten-free/casein free daughter and discovered her sunscreen had casein in it. I know it's along shot but I'm throwing it out there.

I am glad you posted this as my son is 5 and we are doing GFCF right now - and seeing progress. The hard thing I've always tried figuring out is - what's the autism behavior vs. what's the behavior for XX age..........
I haven't seen how severe her meltdowns are but from what you wrote she's acting like a typical teen - mix that in with a new baby and a move - anxiety is pretty high I am sure. My sons major meltdowns are typically triggered by anxiety......

best of luck to you - sorry that's all I have in my experience!

Could this be hormonal? have you tried to track these meltdowns with her periods?

She may also be sneaking foods that 'all the kids' are eating such as milkshakes or hamburgers from a fast food place. Have you also eliminated MSG? My granddaughter is autistic and her Mom has her completely dairy free and low gluten but also took out MSG a few years ago. She noticed right away that MSG played a huge role in her behavior.

This could also be tied to the big changes in your life. As we know people on the autisim spectrum have great difficulty with change.

My soon-to-be 15 ds is not autistic nor Asperger's; at most I suspect ADD type behaviors (and even that evaporates if he avoids simple carbs and polysaccharides). I hang around the biomed corners of the ASD universe because - lo and behold - some of those things work for my son too (he dramatically improved going GFCF).

What I have seen, repeatedly in my "travels," is that ASD girls tend to get thrown for a tailspin during the teen years.

I agree very much with NY Metro Mom of Teens response. There could be alot going on under the surface.

I might also test for latent strep (and PANDAS). When my son gets in a strep mode he gets irritable and difficult (but his throat rarely hurts). His behavior just has a certain sharp edge to it, and he can melt down much more quickly. He's the sweetest kid most of the time so that's usually a sign for me.

Homeschooling has been a tremendous blessing for us. My son doesn't have stress hormones coursing through his body, which can make things worse imho.

I wish you lots of luck and patience.

I love Ken Bock's book "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics . . . " if you ever want to check your library for it.

I can only answer this from the teen perspective. My fifteen year-old twin daughters say things that I never would have heard from them three years ago. Part of it is a 'teen thing.' I remember doing and saying things as a teenager that make me cringe now. Can't be of much help on the gluten part, but just wanted to let you know I share your frustration with your fifteen year old daughter - times two!!

Now that she's hit the teenage years, I'd suggest rethinking therapy about maybe doing therapy once a month or every couple weeks. It sounds like she needs a third party/someone outside the family to talk to about normal teenage years/feelings/girl stuff/Girl's World/school things, someone she can get an unbiased, objective opinion from, and someone who can help give her the tools to help her handle herself, the hormones that are flooding her body, and to help her see that exploding at people may make her feel better, but it doesn't make the person she blew up at feel good. She needs to see/comprehend how her feelings and how she portrays herself makes other people feel--something that I know is very hard for someone with Asperger's to understand, since they don't "get" emotions and feelings very well.

My daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder and also saw a Childhood Specialist for a few years. She just asked me if we could find her someone to talk to again, now that she's going into 7th grade this fall. I'm proud that she is able to recognize that she needs some help in order to safely and confidently make her way through the landmine of adolescence, and I'm currently looking for someone new in our new insurance network.

Your daughter needs to learn empathy, and sometimes, it takes someone outside the family to help with that.

Gluten free bread?

The first thing that would have popped in my mind is she ignoring her diet. Teens are immortal, our mortal rules don't apply to them, ya know? Is there a chance she is no longer on her diet except around you?

Mood swings are normal but what you described is a bit beyond normal.

Oh on the diet, it will always stay effective if the only cause was the intolerance to gluten. Pretty much their body turns gluten into a substance that causes autistic symptoms.

To me, this sounds like perfectly normal hormonally teenage girl behavior. Having AS myself and having been a teen, I know. There's very little with what she's doing right now that you can blame on AS, and I wouldn't try to, either. Let her be a teenage girl and blame it on that. :)

I agree with everyone who has suggested discipline for this behavior. It's doing a disservice to your daughter to treat her specially because of AS, to blame things on AS, or not discipline because it's the "AS." AS does not cause tantrums. Sure, a sensitivity to gluten/casein will...my two year old has Celiac disease and before she was diagnosed she was screaming ALL the time. Now, it's much better.

So, again, having a foot in both camps (me with AS, daughter with CD) I hope you take my advice and treat this just as it is (normal) and treat your daughter the same as well. :)

This is going to put me in the "ignorant camp of people who think it's a discipline thing because they just don't get it", but I have so much trouble understanding this, from a friend as well with a high functioning Asperger's son.

Aside from the diet, the therapy, etc, what has her discipline been for the tantrums and disrespectful talking? You do not specify it here. I only ask, because tons of kids (especially teenagers) will blow up in hatred at whoever is in reach UNLESS they have NEVER been permitted to speak that way to people, ENFORCED by serious discipline. I'm sure you tried that already to deduce that she has special needs, so does she no longer get extremely firm consequences for acting that way, or are you just not mentioning them?

The lady I know with a son in my kid's class, who I know pretty well, was talking to us about her son's tantrums, and how he would go wild in stores when he was younger, and everyone would be giving her the stink-eye and she felt like, "Hey, I wish I could control him." and then sort of implied that because of his condition (to a civilian, he seems like a totally normal kid in every way) he couldn't be controlled. Whenever I asked her in different ways "What had his consequences been for that before you realized he had a medical condition?" she WOULD NOT ANSWER. I was like, "Don't feel bad, you can tell me, I won't tell anyone, I had to take all mine the bathroom a time or two for a serious spanking for that" and she just kept not answering. MAYBE she spanked him (when he was younger) and disciplined him firmly (as he grew) and it had no effect, but she would not say so, so I don't know. She would only describe his behavior, not her own actions, and the behavior was exactly what mine would have done, if I didn't snuff it in no uncertain terms.

If your daughter does this despite the fact that the last time she was disrespectful and out of control you removed every item in her room and privilege until she earned them back one by one with nice manners, AND gave her hard labor to do to make up for the misbehavior, sending the strong message that this would ALWAYS be the result to her choice, and she still has absolutely no bodily control over it it's one thing, but if you're just doing what you say here: "Ignoring these moods"I think the professionals are on the wrong track! Yes, teenagers-even ones without Aspergers are VERY TOUGH. You have to be tougher and calmer than them. If she cannot be disciplined for medical reasons, then you have to accept the behavior and continue to ignore it.

These hostile, hateful things are what kids say when they are angry at a lack of boundaries and feel out of control and hateful to the people they love because of their own lack of self control (if they are in an loving home, not an abusive one, and if nothing else is going on to make her so mad-definitely check out all her influences and surroundings...friends..etc). In normal kids. Maybe in Aspergers kids they mean something else. I would get some more opinions about the severity of her behavior. I had some of those impulses as a teen, but would have been way too fearful of my parents to act on them. Not that it made me repressed or anything, I just had to control that stuff and be respectful OR ELSE.

Oh, and pitching an attitude, being self-centered, getting upset and refusing to do things around the house? Um no. I would not have tried that either. Even though I was very annoyed to have to do stuff and a master of sarcasm and hostility-I was not able to display those talents. If I didn't want to be very sorry.

Hormones coupled with ASD. A window into our future.

You probably need to try not giving in and just allow her to get upset. The thing with children like ours is the lack of impulse control. Other kids will just be thinking it and there goes ours playing the tantrum music for all it's worth.

Hang in there Mama ((((HUGS)))

Is she currently in any kind of behavior/emotion therapy? I ask, because it sounds like the routine has been disrupted by you losing a job, having a baby, and talking about a move. I'm not an expert, but my understanding is that routine is extremely important for people on the spectrum and I wonder if adding an additional support for her (and you, b/c the therapist would probably be able to help you figure out how to handle the tantrums when they do occur) would be helpful? Just a thought.