Helping a 13-Month Old Understand No?

Consistancy is the best thing. When you catch him doing it ask him to help you pick them back up don't just tell him no(that becomes a game) have him help you with the things you are working on. If you are doing dishes wash them off and have him put the platic ones in the dishwasher for you. If you are dusting give him a rag to "help" I know it is SO hard but keep at it even when you are exhausted and try not to get mad. He's still pretty young to completely get it. Give him another month or so and he should pick up on it. :)

My 8 month DD is learning 'no'. She is at the point where I will tell her NO! in a stern voice, and she will pull back from whatever she is doing and look at me... sometimes she will even completely stop! I use redirection... I just started out by telling her NO in 'the voice', then pulling her away from what she was doing and giving her something else. The 3rd time she tries, I put her in her bouncer (so she CAN'T try it again) until she forgets about what she was after. (It's not punishment, she loves the thing...) I have been doing this since she started crawling. I don't expect 'obedience' since she is soo young, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try, and it's working (so far. lol)

its a game but use the corner when this happens.

I would say find a place high up for the dvd's, but let him play with the pots/pans. I let my son do that - he's exploring his world a bit. I took the attitude that if it wasn't dangerous, I would let my guy check stuff out. Use what you can as an educational moment, and maybe the actual chasing will become less of a game. We got a great little unit for our dvd's - it's 6 feet tall, has 2 drawers in the bottom and 3 shelves that have glass cabinet doors - dvd's are high up and behind closed doors and it doesn't take up too much room. That might be the best solution - think outside the box for shelving :)

Good luck!

I have found something that really works for me. I have the same problem with mine. He likes putting things in the overn and that means everything. He also likes to get my visions cookware out and cleaning stuff too. I bought non damaging cabinet locks by safety 1st that have what looks like a zip tie concept. There are two plastic bendable "zip tie strands" that go through or around the cabinet knobs abnd "zip" into a locking button in the center. It is a pain to release them at first....you always need two hands. They work though and they sell them at any dept store. And online..see here

http://littletikebedding.com/bedroom_safety_products.html
Safety 1st Cabinet Flex Lock On Sale

Also, I have two lower drawers in my kitchen that I have designated just for HIS toys. and some plastic kitchen type stuff from the dollar store. He loves it and it keeps him busy. Someone bought him a magnet toy that goes on the regfrigerator that is called the car wash...i think....and he loves it.

My dear -- Everything you have tried has been AFTER each event.
At his age, he does not yet have the mental capacity
to make a logical connection between your behavior
AFTER an event with whatever he was doing BEFORE the event.
It is all a mishmash . . . . event event event event event . . .
with no reason for him to make any connection between them.
Your DVDs, for now, can go up on a shelf in a closet.
You mentioned he goes from kitchen to livingroom.
OK. Put the stuff he shouldn't get into into the bedroom, for now.
Taking the pots and pans out should be an OK activity.
Playing with them will keep him happy and occupied for a while.
About closing cabinets, if they have little knobs to pull them open,
you can put heavy rubber bands around the knobs . . .
I mean banding two knobs together.
You mentioned blocking him.
You might want to consider making one area totally childproof
and blocking him in there for when you need him to be out of trouble.
About the hand-flicking . . . . the only point you're getting across
is that mommy can do this (uncomfortable?) thing to me now and then.
Probably some of the other moms here will suggest books . . .
Childhood development, toddler behavior, etc.
Sounds like your little boy is right where he should be at his age.
After you get yourself caught up to where he is now,
you might find it helpful to read ahead to prepare yourself
for where he'll be in the future.
Good luck.

For little ones this age, I like to distract/redirect them with something else, and tell them what they "can" do. He's at an age, too, when dumping things out is just the biggest fun. If you have a couple plastic baskets, put some safe toys in there and let him go for it. If you can make a shelf for him to take safe objects and toys from, even better.

Also, when you are really needing some containment, get out the pack-n-play and put your son in there for a while. Yes, he does need to run around, and you also need time to work, too. In the case of my son, I sometimes had to pop him in the umbrella stroller and strap him in when he was being unsafe. (We didn't have room for the pack-n-play; and this worked for us, esp. when he got older and started climbing onto the table.)

"No" is a hard one for kids to learn, because it's so subjective. I have found it better to help children through positive language cues and physically assisting them. This means telling them *what you want them to do*: instead of saying "no", I might tell a child "Stop now, please." and gently help them to stop their body. We are still teaching our childrenwhat these words mean, as well as what we want them to do when they hear them. Our kids will be in a learning process for a considerable time, so being physically present to offer some gentle guidance will physically reinforce what you are telling them to do.

can he hear you? that was the issue with my son. he still has a hard time with no, but it is getting better.

I saw your followup. I think the cleaning supplies should be big priority because they can really harm him. I know it might be a pain, but in the end worth it. can you get some latching tubs ir even locking tubs to put the clening supplies in and under the sink. Or else you may have to find a top shelf to put them on so he can't reach. Good luck. I find it sad that military housing will not let you baby proof. Wouldn't they be liable if the baby were hurt??? Plus it seems to me that this might be a common theme amonug all military families with small children.

Hey Beki,
Wanted to add that you could do what we did to keep our kids out of the dvds. We put our entire collection into 3 cd folders (650 dvds). It is easier to hunt for a movie this way and keep them out of reach of children. (we thought about keeping the dvd cases, but we threw them all away except 2 or 3 collectors boxes; in your case you might let your boy use them to play with ;-). As far as teaching him no...do what you are doing and maybe add timeouts; he might do well with some alone time in his room.

Our son was exactly the same- until he was over THREE! I feel for you- he took everything apart, and was halfway through creating another mess by the time I was cleaning up the last one. I found the hard way that the best way to deal with him was take him outside- hiking, playgrounds, museums, etc. Almost every day from 10am-12. After that he is calmer and it's easier to manage him at home. I really think that nature is a lifesaver! It's one place where I can let him dig, take things apart, run around, and not tell him "no" every two minutes. I had to stretch to get comfortable taking my son out like this, but I am so glad I did. Hopefully you live in an area where you can do this! Try it!

Beki, WOW! First, please know that so many of us have gone through this! One thing I have found success with is having the child help clean up the mess. Yes, even a very young child can learn to pick up that dvd case and hand it to me so I can put it back on the shelf, or go pick up those sponges while I pick up the dvds, etc. Get him involved in the clean up. This will cut down on his time to "take things apart" and also help him learn more about the way we treat out stuff. Also, check out this book: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, & Listen So Kids Will Talk. It's a great book, easy & fast to read, super helpful, and has a lot of parent stories regarding all the different situations we face with our toddlers. Best wishes to you. B.

I know that you have gotten lots of answers to this, but I have a suggestion that might work. It doesn't have to do with moving things, although that might help too. This is more along the lines of what you say to him. I know that it is hard to not tell your child "no" all the time, but I have found that if you are always telling them no that they stop listening and then it doesn't become effective when you really need it. I have started using "no" only when it is going to be harmful for the child.....for example running out into the street or putting their hand on the hot stove.....things that would really hurt them. For all the other things I just use "uh-oh". That way when you say NO then they know you mean it and they had better stop and listen to what you say. When he starts pulling out the DVDs tell him uh-oh and then redirect him to something else. This has worked at our house and then the kids know when we say "no, don't play with that" we really mean business because it is something that would hurt them. Good luck.
J.---SAHM of 7

bottom line:
kids at this age DO NOT have ANY impulse control.

In older Toddlers, they do not even have full impulse-control fully developed yet. Either.
So, repetition will happen.

At 1 years old... they do not even have the "cause/effect" system down pat. Nor the ability to do everything that is in their heads.

Yes, things like this.... exploring.... happens all day. It is a lot of back and forth busy-ness... with a child, at this age and older....
So, make things child and safety proofed.
Kids need to explore.... that is how they learn, about the world around them and how they learn concepts and even vocabulary...

Your son... is completely normal. He is not 'naughty.' He is doing what 1 year olds are programmed to do, developmentally. Normal. NOT unusual. Not him being 'bad' or naughty. He is just being 1 years old.

It will get busier... once he is a 3 year old boy then 4 year old boy... so head's up. It will get much busier....

These books are good:
1) What To Expect The Toddler Years
2) Your 1 Year Old (from Amazon).

all the best,
Susan

I wish my 9 month old would understand no too... she is literally shredding my hair, pulling it all out, nevermind it hurts! I have sideburns thanks to her :)

can you glue the cabinet locks on? or tie them together? my oldests favorite game used to be repeatedly slamming her bedroom door. I tied a sock that covered the latch, from handle to handle, made a slam impossible.