Help with Son

That's actually the reason we started homeschooling. My oldest child didn't truly have a problem with focusing, it was the teacher who didn't have time to teach! I think that too many children are diagnosed with ADD when they are really just acting like children. In homschool, he could learn as quickly or as slowly as necessary, and would not be at the mercy of how attentive the teacher might or might not be to him. My very same child who would not learn or pay attention in school, is home doing wonderous things. If you go to google.com, you can enter keyword "homeschooling" and find numerous ideas and viewpoints both for and against. I am all "for" it after homeschooling for 6 years, but it's good to see all sides.

Hello S.,
Speaking from experience... I was a substitute teacher for 3 years from pre-k to 12th grade... It is very hard to be a teacher, BUT, One thing I have noticed most teachers don't care anymore. Don't get me wrong there are some out there still. But especially in Texas they tend to focus on TAKS and that is about it... It seems to be all about the money now days... Not that these children are our future... Everyone tends to see a child that doesn't sit down or talks out of turn or looks around while suppose to be doing a paper they label them ADD\ ADHD and it is getting rediculous... How many people did you know that were on medication for this when you were a kid??? Now days people just want kids to sit down, shut up and do what they are told and it is very aggravating... I do believe it is because he is 5 and around other children now... Don't get me wrong there are children out there that do have problems but if your son can focus at home, sit and watch a movie or stay on task... Then your son is just wanting to have fun with the kids at school... I apologize if I sounded witchy...I just get very touchy when it comes to teachers telling parents things like this...Just because they don't want to have to deal with it...Good Luck and hope I helped...

WOW! I THINK THAT YOUR BABY IS JUST BEING A BOY, I USED TO THINK THE SAME ABOUT MY SON, AND NEEDLESS TO SAY HE IS 12 AND HAS NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADD OR ADHD. I THINK THAT NOW A DAYS WE JUST AREN'T PATIENT ENOUGH ANYMORE. I THINK THAT 5 IS JUST SO YOUNG TO PUT A LABEL ON HIM. GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF YEARS. GOOD LUCK

Hi S.!
Don't worry. My son, too, just started kindergarten and was not "doing well", at first. I'm a stay at home mom, therefore, my children did not attend day care, where they learn "the rules" of a classroom, per the teacher's routine. We've been blessed with our son's teacher because she is a very patient, intelligent and observant person and is very dedicated to her profession (she's also a gifted and talented teacher). She suggested we make an appointment to talk about my son not focusing and not following directions. She assured me that I need NOT worry about a thing but suggested "exercises" for home, which we implemented into his home routine and he has improved immensely. She also told me that one of the main reasons, if not the most important reason he acted this way was because he is a "summer baby". This never occured to me. He was born in June therefore making him the youngest in her class. She told me that half her students were turning 6 within the first 3 months of school, giving them a whole year of learning compared to my son. Made sense to me. So now we are having to "catch up" with exercises as simple as showing him how to hold a pencil correctly (motor skills). When they feel like they aren't doing things like the other children, they become discouraged and "act out" or become withdrawn, therefore not listening or focusing. So, my suggestion would be to make an appointment with his teacher to talk about what needs to be done at home to reinforce what she is teaching him at school. I had a second meeting with his teacher, recently and she was amazed at how quickly he progressed and has "caught up".
I hope this helps.
D.

Girlfriend don't sweat his little problem at school. You have to remember that they just went from going to school half a day to a full day. Plus a lot of these kinder teachers are starting to require very basic homework. It sounds to me that the problem lies with the teacher and her inability to handle a room full of boys. Nowadays people are quick to lable little boys A.D.D. when if fact it is just the high energy of boys. Did you know that this year the curriculum of the kinder reading has changed. The teachers have to do a full hour and a half of reading time or activity. Now think how hard this is to keep a room of 20 kids ages 5-6 interested in something for 1hr 1/2. A lot of things have changed in the curriculum this year becuase of the TAKS and even the kinder teachers are feeling the heat. Unfortanetely, I think that teachers are no longer teaching to learn but are teaching to pass the TAKS.

S.,
I know how you must feel, I went through a similar situation w/ my son who is now 10 (5th grade). His TEACHERS kept telling me that "w/ their experience", they thought he needed to be on medication for ADD / ADHD & to have him tested immediatly. So I did: we went to a Psychiatrist who said that this child was definatly not ADD/ADHD. The school was not satisfied! We then went to a therapist for counseling (for other issues)who had diagnosed him to not have ADD/ADHD. The bottom line is that children will always try to have fun, follow the leader (follow other kids "having fun" or acting out), & get away w/ what they can. This does not mean that they have ADD/ADHD hyperactivity. It means that they are normal, healthy kids. They are learning to socialize & are testing the waters in all aspects of life. Life is so exciting for them! Everything is a learning experience! It is sad that the classrooms are over-crowded & the teachers lack help. But, not by any means was I willing to put my child on a medication that he did not need just to make their job easier! Children are not medication ginny pigs. Honestly the best thing that worked w/ my son was to get tough w/ him. Very strict & matter-of-fact type of approach really seems to work. This way the lines are clearly drawn, black & white. No room for a gray area that can be manipulated to use as an excuse. (in other words; no more BS!)It seems that he appreciates this because it also shows a mutual respect towards one another. My advise is to get him assessed, get a second opinion, but listen to the doctors. If he doesn't NEED medication, do not allow the school to talk you into putting him on it because they WANT to have an easier time. Put your hand to his bottom & cut out all the BS! Good luck!

L.

What I would do is visit again to the school but don't let him know you are there. Just watch him through the glass and see how he is doing. I would not put him on any kind of medication if he don't need it. I also feel they have way too many kids per teacher. If he had ADD problems you would have noticed it at home.

Hi, S.. I am sorry to hear about the problems, but I have a son who is now 11. Honestly, I never really had any problems, but here is what I think. Boys have a lot of energy, especially at that age, an the energy just increases. Also, I have noticed that schools now a days either don't have recess or very little time at all. They need an outlet to release that energy. My son had 15 minutes last year and my niece had no recess at one school she was at. I remember playing outside forever at school as a kid! Maybe your son seems to have a "problem focusing" as the teacher puts it because he needs more attention. He was probably fine when you were there because, well you were there :o), and because someone was there to help him. In my opinion, without meeting your son, it might be too soon, since he is only 5 to take him to see if he has ADD. I think maybe the teacher may need help in the classroom. Maybe you can talk to her and the principal about that, about what you noticed when you were there. Also, what you can do on your part to help him focus, techniques and such for a 5 yer old. I hope this helps.

I had the same problem with my son and I have 4 children. I also consider both sides the teacher and my son. The teacher was great as long as I was there, but when I wasn't she would down talk and other little things and then would send me notes about behavior. My son was a good boy (kind hearted)at home. At first I thought the same thing (ADD), But boy was I wrong I went to the school counseler, principle and other teachers and found out that his teacher had bounced around from 3,4, and kinder. She expected the kinder kids to be like the 3rd and 4th grade kids she wanted to much and they are only 5y/o. Check with the school about her background. Take other options, investigate first.......Then ADD last. Kids are kids and we all have them...She needs to know that! lol
It's a little work on you part,but at the end it's all worth it. That's YOUR baby!
Good Luck!

I have a son that is also in kindergarten and he has trouble focusing and following directions also. But he also has trouble with letter recognition. He seems to hear one thing when I am saying another. I started by going to my pedi and she sent him to a developmental dr that had me fill out some forms and also had the school fill the forms out to. She said she suspects ADD but has not yet fully diagnosed him because we are trying to rule out a few other things. I also told the teacher and she voice that she is concerned about him and requested for him to be tested by the school. Normally, they dont test kindergarten because they are still to little, but because we notice some other things going on with him they are going to test him. Talk to the teacher and find out if there is other things going on besides not focusing or following directions. Then I would talk to your pedi also. Hope that helps. If you having any questions let me know.

D.

HE is a KINDER for goodness sake!!! They are not perfect angels!!
I would get in contact with the counselor at the school and have her observe the class and see how it goes.
just because he has a problem focusing and folowing directions does not mean that he is add.

don't jump to conclusions. Talk with the school counselor first. it's so easy to say little boys are add. stats show that out of every 5 boys 3 are "considered" to be add and only 1 in 5 girls. it is such an over diagnosed disorder. children are no longer "high spirited" anymore, they are ADD.

you just gotta understand boys and their mentality. they are different from girls, they do mature slower and are more impulse driven. that is just nature, almost every boy is like that.

how is the teacher in the class? is she flustered around all the rowdy boys? maybe she isn't cut out for teaching kinders. it takes a special person to teach that grade level, not all can do it. maybe she just doesn't have what it takes.

good luck!

Here's a thought:

your son is enjoying the company of other kids his age and height! my son went through that when he started kinder. He never went to pre-k or daycare so he was going nuts when he started. after a few months, he settled down and did good in school. teachers often can't handle little kids, i don't know why they decide to teach elementary!

if he doesn't act this way at home (the hyper activity) then he doesn't have ADD or ADHD. kids are kids and they should be allowed to be a little mischievious ONCE IN A WHILE. when kids do have ADD or ADHD, their behavior is non-stop.

FYI:
i've done plenty of research on this. my son is my firstborn and i thought the same thing. "oh my gosh, my son has ADD, what am i gonna do now". the media has focused so much on this that parents think that immediately. i'm sure you and i and the rest of the world had problems focusing and following directions at school because we wanted to play....know what i mean? hopes this helps.

I agree with watching where both son and teacher are unaware of you if possible. Getting the counsler involved is also a good suggestion. He very well could have been on his best behavior since were there- yet easily distracted by all the other little kids when you're not. Does this mean he will have trouble and needs to be tested for add?? I don't think so. Not yet. Since he CAN focus and behave himself (his impulses) I would say no. He's really young so you just need to watch. I have three boys (one who takes add meds and two who don't) and they are all impulsive and rowdy at times. The difference is that the one on meds can't stop it or modifiy his behavior, even when he would like to, while the others can when they choose to. My experience has been that the parents who have add kids usually are not surprised (and extremely relieved) to have their kids diagnosed. They 'knew' something was up before a teacher suggested it. The fact that you are questioning it makes me think that you should keep an eye on the class/teacher and give him some more time to mature. Good Luck.

I don't have experince in this area, but it sounds like the teacher needs a teacher aide. It's hard for one person to control THAT many kids when they are that age. And all it takes is one kid to start acting up and the others think it looks more fun than paying attention, esp. if they can tell it gets on the teachers nerves. :) Maybe talk to the principal about getting a teachers aide or moving him to a smaller class, or maybe you could go on your days off. Sorry your in a hard situation, but I think your son is just being a boy influnced by lots of other boys. :) Good luck!

I have a son in kindergarten too, it is so scary when teachers tell us our child is having a problem.

There are two issues I see in your message.
1. The teacher did not seem to help- what did you mean by that?
2. The boys were out of control- even I am distracted in a rowdy class

and then what makes you feel your son could have ADD.

Many five year olds need help getting used to following directions and focusing is also an acquired skill.

I happen to be a believer that many children are wrongly treated for Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit and Hyperactive Disorder.

Some kids are just used to moving and thinking and well, in todays society who isnt multitasking?; so be careful.

Is the problem with the classroom environment that needs to be addressed to the class as a whole or is the problem really your son's behavior.

Didnt mean to answer a request with a bunch of questions, but I hope I can help you think through this.
Smiles,
M.