Help with Social Issues

Hi,

Early intervention is from birth to 3 years of age, after 3 years of age there is a program called Child Find which is 3-6 years of age. When a child qualifies for special educations services, as you know, they are evaluated every 3 years. I beleive and you would know this more than I that there are specal preschools to help with social, adacemic areas. In the Seattle are where I am originally from there were many preschools located in public schools that had integrated classrooms, child with special needs and general educations classmates. It was a great program - Call Clark County School District - Health Services office and they can give you the number for child find - you may already have this number -- good luck

I would try putting him in a gymnastics class or some kind of sport. My daughters are in lots of activities and it has really helped them.

I also strongly recommend that you contact the EArly Intervention people. It is true that some services are limited after the age of 3 but my 3 yo grandson is in preschool and getting speech therapy through that office.

They do a thorough assessment to determine what if any services he needs. They can also rule out the serious issues including autism and aspbergers. Wouldn't it be a relief if they confirmed your idea that he only needs socialization. Providing for socialization is part of their program. They provide services so that children can be successful in school.

I don't know why you had to seek a different route with your daughter but don't let that stop you from getting help for your son. He is a different child with different needs.

And sometimes it is difficult dealing with the system. But it is better to deal with the system now instead of later when he's in school and still having difficulties. You still have a chance of correcting some difficulties by age 3 but doing so gets more difficult as the child gets older. They told us that it would've been much better for my grandson if we'd gone to them several months earlier.

Arranging for your son to be around other children is the best way to try to get him involved with them. You could try doing some of the things that are recommended for doing with younger children (around 2). Play with him and another child. Show him by example how to play.

Does he play with his sister? If he doesn't I'd really urge you to get him in for an evaluation. It really is easier to deal with difficulties when they are younger. I'm not saying it's easy. But it gets more difficult the older the child gets.

The internet does have some good sites to learn about Early Intervention services. And you can call their office.

My heart goes out to you E.. I have a nephew whom I believe to be autistic. They've had him tested and the reports came back normal, all but one thing: he has a very high IQ. the dr. thinks this certainly contributes to his antisocial behavior, like he can't be bothered with silly people. He used to cry everytime he saw me and if I smile at him he runs away crying saying I made fun of him (which is not true). His mom actually came and asked if I wuold apologize so he cuold return to the table and feel "safe". I was pissed but did as I was asked. I think he's been too pampered, and I think he has a different type of autism. His teachers say his grades are excellent, but is social skills suck. We have accepted himas our own, but no one in our family wants to s[pend much time with him since he cries all the time and seems afraid of us. Hope you can find a solution better than ours. Good luck!

V. T.

I would just suggest more interaction with kids. Do you have a way to get out more so he can have more play time??

Hard to know what's "normal" when your first experience with parenting and children has had to be learning about and dealing with autism. Don't beat yourself up about this. ALL kids go through phases and, its been my experience that sometimes parents think certain things are a permanent condition. Unless he's diagnosed with something like your daughter was, consider this just another phase he's going through. This too shall pass. For now, do some things with just he and you, if you can. "Special time with Mommy." If you go to the park and play on the equipment with him, eventually, there's going to be interest and interaction with other kids and, other moms. Being a SAHM, and a PC consultant, you need all the networking you can get your hands on. Check out the Mom's Club in Palm Springs or in your area. They're everywhere. They do fun mom-kid things that provide opportunities for both you and your kids.
Don't worry. It will get better as he gets older. Soon, he'll want to go to preschool, because that's where they keep ALL the cool toys! And, he'll start having more fun and friends. Overall, I've found that the best way to get the kids to start doing something is for ME to do it. So, I'll sit on the floor and ignore the kids, while I set up the train set or the building blocks and then I start building something. The next thing you know, I've got more 'help' than I know what to do with. We do sorting. We end up building a house. We line them up like a highway. They will copy what you do. Its sort of like training wheels. You have to train THEM on how to play with other kids by doing. Don't just expect to turn them out and they'll know what to do. I also agree with Andrea re some sort of class. TaiKwonDo or Gymboree or My Gym or some sort of class that gives him an opportunity to meet other kids is a great idea. Good luck!

My son (now 5 1/2)has various issues & I have not been able to get any diagnosis even though I have dragged him to various specialists and experts. The simplest answer that I can come up with is a mild autism without most of the social issues (those have receeded). As soon as my son turned 3 (the earliest age at which they will perform certain tests)I had him into the Early Intervention Program through our school district. He bagan speach services almost imediately, but we also began regular mixed age Early Childhood Family Education Classes that fall. My son has been involved with the ECFE/EIP program ever since, as this is his third year. He loves it, and although we still have some issues elsewhere, his teachers think I might just be crazy because they see no abnormal issues with him when he's at school. The ECFE/EIP setting has done wonders for my son, with 10-15 kids per class with 2+ teachers in the room, it is an environment where he has really flourished. Thanks to these programs, my son will begin Kindergarten next year in a main stream classroom with extra help on the side. His teachers have really gotten to know him and will work with me and his Kindergarten teachers to ease the transition. The ECFE/EIP teachers here are fabulous, and really great at bringing out the best in these young kids. I would reccommend the program to anyone, especially if they have children with issues, diagnosed or not.

cotact the school district my daughter stayed in their program until last year right befor kingdergarten and she is now attendcing kindergarten with sppech classes during the week she has a speesh problem I think you should really look into it my friends son was like yours he would just play alone and he also use to have an issue with touch and speech and he was diagnosed with a form of Autism. if you would like to talk more in depth or have any questions email me and I will give you my #. it's called early childhood developement program and depending on the issue the name will probably change they cater to a wide range of issues such as my child haveing just speech issues to children who have Down Syndrome. Good Luck!

My son had difficulty with being social. When he got into school though he's always excelled and now in 6th is also in GT. When they tested him for GT some of the materials they handed out about highly intelligent children could have easily been about a child with ADHD or some other "disability".
My advice is if it doesn't appear to be hurting himself or others and he doesn't appear to be having learning difficulties... that you wait before you get him involved with an IEP. A playgroup would be fantastic for him but my son again never became too involved with lots of other kids. He does have a nice small group of close friends though and he does just fine.

Well hello E. my oldest daughter who is now elven had the same issue when she was little I found that if I just put her in a daycare preschool for like half the day that she started getting and ganing all the skills she lacked. As a preschool teacher myself I can tell you that I see children come through my doors everyday that have this issue and with in a couple of weeks of being in the preschool the children start opening up and playing with the other children. We work on it everyday with all the children just because it is a skill that is learned. The children are aloud to play by them selves from time to time but most of the time it is a group play like games and songs. I work with all ages but my primar is two and three year olds. At that age they are learning a descovering not only new things all around them but also about themselves. My suggestion would be that if you can affored it to go out and find some preschools and look into them find one that you and he are both happy with and then just enroll him for like half the day to start with as he gets more use to it start leaveing in there a little longer everyday till he is there for most of the day. You will see as time passes that in a few week to a month that your son will start playing and haveing fun with other children. It my hard at first but these are skills that are very inportent for him to lean now. Most centers in the area all work with the children the help them learn thease skills. That as a preschool teacher of the two and three year olds is one of my mane goals is to help the children learn how to socialize with the other children. I hope that this helps a little. Good luck and Blessings, J.

i know he socializes with you but does he baby talk or does he have problems talking? my son is three and has limited speech. he use to not socialize with no one just us i guess because of his speech but i put him in preschool with the public school and well now he is opening up a little at a time but he plays parallel with kids his age now.

I had the same issue with my son. He wasn't interacting with kids, or talking, like others his age. I talked to someone about the intervention program, but before I did, I got involved with a playgroup. It made such a difference and we never had to use the program. Even if you can't get really involved in a playgroup, try taking him to the park at least twice a week so he can get used to other kids. I know this will be hard with your daughters condition. Or perhaps if your family has the money, try sending him to preschool a few days a week. It will allow you to spend time with your daughter and will allow your son some much needed time to play. I hope this helps.

Have you heard about MOPS (mothers of Pre Schoolers) ages birth to 5. I am currently going to these meetings. My 3 year old son was the same way...but since we have been going to these groups it has helped alot...and it gives you sometime to yourself for a couple hours twice a month. go to www.mops.com for more info.

It sounds like you've gotten some great advice! I hope that you will at least check out the school district, to see what they say. It's good to have options.
A.

I don't know what the problems were that you had with the school district, but that is probably something that you should consider. Although I really don't agree with everything related to the preschool program, it sounds like your son needs to be exposed to as much social interation as possible.

My children displayed many of the same things that you are seeing, and were diagnosed with autism. I don't think that is what is going on with your son, but the best medicine for not wanting to socialize is for him to be forced to...the school district is a way of getting just that. At least check to see what they will offer.

The only other option that I know of would be to pay for a preschool program in a daycare facility... which does have some advantanges.

I take my 4 year old son to early intervention once a week. He started when he was three. It's for speech therapy with a group of kids in his same age group. It's only for an hour each week, but he has fun and is learning alot. So anyway, I know it's available. I also put him in a private preschool at 3 years old and he seems to really enjoy it (2x a week). I hadn't previously been involved with play groups/church stuff either. You might want to look into it.

If I were you I'd try playing with the kids and inviting him to join in have fun. play with play doe or maybe an active game like hopscotch or ants in your pants. Get something like that for kids his age. if he sees all the fun your having he might want to join in. Has he ever had tests for autisum? maybe you should have that checked.

Hi E.,

I would still recommend contacting early intervention so they will be able to offer assistance in getting into the school system. By law your child has the right to be placed in preschool at the school systems cost. Exspecially if he is developmentally delayed.
Is it possible that he is slightly autistic or has aspbergers syndrome or do you think its just lack of socialization.
I have worked with the school system before and plan to have a battle on your hands, but you are your only childs advocate. Yu might want to look up individual, evaluation , plan and get to know the process. I don't think its the teachers or school system themselves, but the cost behind these programs that they don't like to promote. I would even consider looking up IEP advocate. This is a person who is skilled with the information thta you would need to get all the services available to you.

Good Luck