Help with Sleeping Issues...

My guess is that she is overtired. It seems like that would make her sleep better but the opposite is true. Is it possible for you to get her down earlier - like 7? I know this is hard if you are getting home from work and trying to spend time with her. My 2yr old does this whenever we go to bed late and she has had a busy day.

A little soothing nightly massage while tucking her in might help her have a peaceful sleep. I agree with some of the other moms who said it sounds like night terrors which could be a way of working out emotional upsets. My eldest had similar problems at that age after her dad left us. Massage and talking it out helped.

Hi R.,

They say 1 out of 3 children have sleep problems. I was that child growing up. I now have my family on sleep systems that help to relax the body as we sleep. My grand daughter has been on hers since she was born and she is now 7 years old and sleeps well and is rested when she gets up.

If you want to learn more about sleep go to www.nikken.com/ninamarie and click on rest and relaxation.

Wish you well.

N. Marie

It sounds like night terrors which can be due to a lack of sleep (poor napping during the day) or stress (in this case emotional). I would bring it up to your pediatrician for advice on what steps to take. Hang in there, I'm sure you're doing a great job!

I'm sure it's emotional stress. Try talking about stress with her, just using words like "Sometimes I feel sad that daddy isn't living here anymore" or whatever you think she is feeling. Naming her feelings will help her deal with them. She'll get better as she grows and deals with her emotions.

I give my son melatonin. That helps him. He's on ADHD medication and w/o melatonin it usually takes him 3 hours to finally go to sleep. With the supplement it takes about and hour. Also a bath with Epsom salts and lavendar oil really calms him down as well.

My daughter will be 2 at the end of June, and is similar to yours in the falling asleep area. She wakes up throughout the night and cries/whimpers for me (not Daddy), but goes back to sleep on her own fairly quickly. I tried the "Healthy Sleep Habits book" mentioned by Love and found the information helpful, but the author is a "cry it out" proponent, which didn't work for my kids. My daughter will cry until she vomits rather than settle down. An earlier bedtime, coupled with my holding her in the rocking chair for a good 20-30 minutes before lying her down to sleep has helped her fall asleep better; I've also found that if she naps too late in the day, she is impossible to settle down. I know this doesn't offer a lot of advice, but I hope you will pull out less of your own hair knowing that your daughter is not abnormal!

Another thing to think about...Is your daughter getting enough exercise? If she's just doing quiet activities all day, she may have excess energy to burn in the evening.

You may be facing the wrath of the split home situation where rules are different in both homes. Just keep to your own rules and make her room special by decorating it with things she likes and soft music.

I have a grandson who went through some night terrors, (and while it seems to be a normal occurrence around this time in development,) I would look at outside factors that may be causing her disrupted sleep. T's problem started when he was abruptly weaned from his pacifier. And after some time of adjustment without it his sleep seemed to return to normal. Could something have happened on her last visit with dad that may have been traumatic to her? I've read that at around two toddlers become more aware of their world and sometimes what seems very normal to us is magnified in their little minds, and what we don't perceive as frightening, to them becomes a terror, and could manifest itself into nightmares. Also does she snore like a cartoon bear? If she does please see and ENT asap. I've worked in the medical field a very long time and I've seen children who's tonsils and adenoids become so enlarged that they close off the airway passages, especially during sleep. And as you mentioned, sleep apnea can occur and nightmares of suffocating could occur as a result. Hope this gives you some areas to investigate. L. B

Hi R.,
I HIGHLY recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to understand biological sleep rhythms and sleep issues. I think that if you put your daughter to bed MUCH earlier you would find she would fall asleep quickly and sleep better. My daughter is 2.9 yrs old and is asleep by 7pm at the latest and sleeps until 6:30-7am. Is she still taking a nap daily? At her age, she should be getting 12-14 hours of sleep daily. Dr. Weissbluth is very adamant about an early bedtime. It also sounds like your daughter is overtired and Dr. Weissbluth suggests an extra early bedtime until an overtired child is well rested. If you are interested in learning more about Dr. Weissbluth's methods, email me.
Sincerely,
L.

PS He isn't a CIO advocate, he gives several different methods, but does say that the CIO method is the FASTEST way to correct sleep problems. Dr. Weissbluth does say that the CIO method isn't for every child, remember that we deal with averages and there are extremes on each side of the average. I used what he calls "controlled crying" with my daughter but it can take longer and you have to be consistent.

Having experienced the apnea thing, does she snore? We had Maddie's tonsils out because she snored like a chainsaw and had 3-4 breath pauses (she's 3) and she is a different girl. Sleeps very well now. Also, I know she sleeps so much better if she is in bed by 8. The later I put her to bed, the more she tosses and turns before falling asleep - overtired I think. She's up at 6:30 weather she's in bed at 8 or 10, so I try hard for early bedtime.
I know how hard the sleep thing is so good luck and be patient with yourself and her. She will sleep well eventually, they all do!!!!

Sounds like night terrors! They can start suddenly. The late falling asleep thing sounds like low melatonin, which my kid seems to have genetically too. But she's getting more normal over time, she's 32 months now.

You could put in a call to your pediatrician. If it is just night terrors, it's pretty normal, and it will eventually stop.
Just don't try to cuddle her for some weird reason.

My daughter did the same thing, and would literally start to panic even more when I was trying to shush her and comfort her. It killed me, but I would just lean away and let her thrash a little, and pat her on the back until she calmed down again.

Another thing you could give a try: give her dried sour cherries and some warm milk after dinner, and before tooth brushing! They have a lot of natural melatonin in them, and believe me that knocks kids out, and lots of antioxidants. The dried ones at trader joes are sweetened enough for kids. The milk will soothe her. My kid knocks out after a melatonin boost and wakes up calm and happy.

You might try putting her to bed earlier. Most sleeping problems are because the kids are overtired and it creates problems with falling asleep. If you can, switch your routine to 1/2 earlier at a time. All the books I read say 7-8pm is generally a good bedtime for this age group. I was having problems with my 2 year old as well. It also might help if dad and mom routines are the same. Also (sorry just one more) make sure she is getting snuggle time (15 minutes) with you at bed time. I have read that snuggles at bed help calm them way down.
Hope this helps!

If this continues for a few more weeks, contact me -- I had a horrendous medical experience with my son last year which lasted months and began with his not being able to sleep, in a way that sounds similar to what you are describing. Did she have any viruses before this began?

My daughter through goes this.. it seems to be about every 6 months.. last 2 weeks to a month..

then she sleeps fine again.

Did you talk to her father and find out if anything happened when she was visiting? If she was sleeping fine before and this just started after her visit with her father, I would start there. Maybe he didn't follow her normal routine. Maybe something happened that scared her. The nightmares would concern me.

My daughter went through a bad sleeping phase as well and I determined that it was from night terrors, it was terrible how many times she would wake up in the night. I started playing soothing music for her at night on a very low level and that seemed to help. Maybe if you both use the same CD, it would give her a sense of familiarity in both places, good luck!