Help with Sleep Issue!

Jamie,

I didn't read the other responses...

I have been where you are! Something works, and then it doesn't and then something else works but, it seems like only for a minute and then you're back to square one.

You feel like you've tried everything and nothing works.

My son is now two years old, and I resorted to co-sleeping...but, it's just me and him and the crib didn't work and the rocking only worked for a short time, but as soon as he was in his bassinet it was like I had hung him from his toes. And, all I could take was about a week of that when I finally read the book called the Family Bed. But, again this was MY choice and not everything works for everyone.

It seems like you've tried consistency and have a schedule...am I wrong?

But in my opinion, your little one is moving into a new developmental phase and what was okay for sleep is now a thing of the past. I'm not a fan of CIO, only because I have read the same thing you mentioned, and it scared the heck out of me. CIO is not recommended until a minimum of 9 months old, due to the need for feeding on demand and nuturing versus detachment. Infants who detach at an early age are less likely to form bonds of a variety of kinds, but most notably intimate bonds with family/friends. I'm not completely versed in the CIO Method, but I believe their is a time limit based on age, and that 10 minutes might be kind of long for a little one of 3 months.

I'm not going to tell you, that you should try co-sleeping since, it's totally a life choice and a huge change from a sleeping baby in a crib...it just was easier for me to nurse and sleep. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, and you just have a little one who is falling into a new pattern of her own and trying to get that worked out can be super tough. Truly, it is the hardest thing to mesh what we hoped we would do as parents to babies, and what ACTUALLY happens once they get here. I had a huge plan of how I wanted things done and how I was going to have my baby sleep and he prooved me wrong on almost every account!

I would recommend the following website, that has a lot of great information about sleep methods and attachment parenting without co-sleeping that might be helpful. I have used a lot of the sleep advice for my son, and discipline...I have also used soothing music since he was a baby, and when he was in his crib I got the Baby Einstein Turtle that worked for a bit too, as a distraction until he fell asleep...it might be worth a shot.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

I know my advice probably isn't super helpful, but I wish you good luck!

-Deanna

hiJamie, I wouldn't say you are messing your baby up, I do thing the swing was probably not a good idea for bed time, but, sometimes it's hard to know what to do and what not to do. A baby crying themselves to sleep, or using a pacifire to go to sleep can never take the he place of falling asleep in the loving and nurtuering arms of a mother. I'm 51, I have 3 grown children, and I rocked and sang my babaies to sleep everynight, what baby do you think will fall asleep feeling loved, nurtured and safe ? a baby `who cries themselves to sleep, or the baby who was rocked and nurtured to sleep? crying ones selfto sleep in my opinion is a very sad and insucure way to fall asleep. Back in the day, some different people told me that if I rocked my babies to sleep that I would be rocking them when they were in school, I didn't listen, and I am gld I didn't, raising my children was one of the funnest, rewarding times of my life, and I was not rocking my children whenthey were school aged they were prayed with, we read or told them a story then tucked them in, our children always went to sleep feeling loved, safe, and secure. Jamie rocking your bay to sleep, will be one of your most sacred memories, years down the road, I know they are for me. Hope this helps. J. L.

There are really passionate people on all sides of this issue. I can only speak from my experience that she is fine to cry it out. I recommend getting her used to putting herself to sleep as young as possible because as they get older it gets harder. The more familiar she is to the routine the less she will protest on a regular basis. The most important thing I can say is pick a path and go with it. Make sure you and your husband and any care givers are consistent in your methods, otherwise it will be unnecessary torture for everyone.

Personally, I would not recommend the cry it out method at this age. She is too young to understand something like that.
You may just have to try different things until you find something that works for the both of you. Don't worry though - they are this small for such a short time and things just get better and better with time!
Some things that worked well for my daughter were lullaby music and being walked (with a little "bounce" in your step) back and forth. Oh, and something else that works for her (even now it still works when she is all worked up and can't fall asleep) is gently rubbing her forehead from hairline to the top of her nose! I know it sounds silly, but it is really soothing - try it on yourself and you'll see! LOL
Best of luck to you!

All you need to do is "schedule" or routine, consistancy. We all have one we wake up, bathroom, lunch, work etc at a set time for the most part right? I have 3 kids my sister has 3 and my otherother has 1 we all did it and are so thankful. It's not to late to start fresh. Every change or habit takes up to 3 days to fix or change. All our kids slept from 8pm until 7am by 8 weeks! Promise it works!! Firt off passifiers my daughter would pop it out fuss I would put it in and on and on. Omg that was driving us crazy so that was the end of that 2 days and she had forgotten about it. Example of schedule 7,10,1,4 and 7,10,1,4. My kids woke at 7am ate, played nap at 8am up at 10am ate, played, nap at 11am up at 1pm ate played, nap again at 2pm up at 4pm eat play keep awake until 8pm bed time last feedings 5pm and 7.30 ish. If your child sleeps thru the nite you won't be up at 1 or 4am anymore. If you are up in the middle of the night ignore one feeding let your child cry it exercises their lungs max 45 min should only happen 1-3 times and not again. Up until 1 yrs old they usually nap 2-3 times for 1 1/2 to 2 hrs at a time. It's great for both you and baby. You get the break their little bodies need the sleep and they grow when they sleep. This will also help you plan your day and outings. You will find a schedule is great for your child. Naps will be easier cuz their body will be on a clock you will find no more fussying and 10 mins that's nothing to worry about at all. Lil music but know your going to always have to do that so good luck napping at other peoples houses when needed unless you bring along a radio, habits are habits. Routine, consistancy schedule call it what you want but it works and it's great!

Set up the baby's feeeding time. After the last feeding and she wakes up - turn on a soothing music - nature music, piano, classical , acoustic guitar music, cuddle the baby , massage the baby with baby lotion , dim the lights, she might me constipated - check her routines for pooping , get a baby mobile that has a light characyers taht goes to the ceiling, get a bouncer that vibrates and placed her there.
Good luck !

Hi Jamie,

I have a fabulous book which my sister and I call our "bible". "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" by dr. Weisbluth. I have loaned it to neighbors that loved it because it works great. My daughter also slept in her swing for the first 6 months and eventually moved to her crib when she was ready. Have you tried swaddling her snugly when she sleeps? (this will mimic the womb) which can be very comforting. A few minutes of crying and up to 10 will not "damage her psyche" and she will learn to comfort herself. Good luck!

Jamie - I didnt read your other responses but heres my take. 3 months is a little young for CIO. I think they say to start that around 5 to 6 months. If your daughter sleeps in her swing let her sleep in the swing. I have twin boys and my one boy all of a sudden around 3 months decided he just wanted his bed, but my other son stayed in his swing until almost 5 months. She will outgrow it eventually...but if it works...keep it going. If you want to CIO here is how I would do it. Check on her immediately the first time...then if shes okay (not hungry, needs a new diaper etc) then leave and wait 5 minutes. If shes still crying go in and soothe her, calm her down and put her back to bed (awake!) and then wait 10 minutes. Repeat. Keep adding 10 minutes to the time until she goes to sleep. You are teaching her to go to sleep on her own. Believe me its a good habit to have and one you will appreciate later on. Spend lots of close bonding time with her during the day...it wont affect your relationship. If shes crying longer than 20 minutes...something might be wrong (gas...tummy ache etc).