Help with Potty Training Boys

With my son I used the Once Upon a Potty for Him video. It's a cute video with music and a storyline that appeals to kids. You can find it for a really good price on Half.com.

I also used the one for girls for my daughter last month...she wasn't as easy the first try but this time it worked.

Hi S.,
Boys seems to take a little longer. Give him some time and space and maybe he will begin to do it on his own. Does he have any boy friends that are potty trained? Invite them over for a play date and maybe they can be good role models.
Just some thoughts,
J.

HI
I have twin boys and we had a potty for them and encouraged them to use it starting about 2 1/2 years old. I didn't really stress about about it (they were still in diapers) and then about a month before they turned 3, their teacher suggested we pick a day to "Give our diapers to the babies" (during the day only of course). So we put a star on the calendar (on their 3rd birthday) and talked about that day alot. On the given day, we put them in underwear and I think they may have had 3 or 4 accidents. That's it. If your son is not 3 until May, I would not worry at all. It is still early and he may just not be ready yet. Maybe the structure at preschool helps him (and seeing other kids go). I would jsut pick a day (closer to his bday) and see if that helps.
A.

Sounds like he is in a power game.

I suggest you send your daughter to a friends and bring over a boy that is slightly older than your son. Kids look up to older kids. Tell the older kid you are going to get him to help you and promise him some reward for his help. Then give them both lots of salty treats and lots of liquids. Have the older kid announce when he is going to use the bathroom and invite the younger kid to come with him. Get him to talk about how cool it is and help your son understand that "big" kids always use the toilet. Let him do all of the talking in the bathroom, and encourage your son to use the toilet. You keep talking about what a big and clever kid the older one is. Then ask your kid if he wants to be big and clever like....... That worked for me. It was no longer me and my son in a battle. It was me helping him be more like Kevin.

Good luck... M.

Dear Stacy,

My oldest, a boy, was 34 months when he was potty trained. My baby, a girl, was 35 1/2 months. With all of my children, I tried day a week, until it seemed like they were ready. With my son, he really wanted to wear "chonies," I told him that the rule in our house is if you wear chonies, you go potty in the toilet - it worked for him. We also say the "Wicked Witch" song as we ran for the bathroom. My baby, a girl, was pretty much completely potty trained at 27 months, in chonies full-time, but when my husband watched the kids and she had an accident, he just put her back in a diaper. She totally just stopped using the toilet. I was so frustrated! I tried the chonie thing with her, but she didn't care if she wore chonies or a diaper. So we started over from scratch. She was pretty much potty trained again by 35 months, in training pants, but wouldn't poop in the toilet. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner (now you know this was a long time ago!) As we were sitting there, all of a sudden she got "that look" on her face. I didn't know what to do! I told the other two to sit there - don't move! - and I grabbed the baby from the booster seat. (Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I made itty bitty scrawny babies with skinny bird legs [obviously from their father]) As I picked her up to run to the bathroom, the poop fell out the leg opening in the training pants, and fell on the floor! I was mortified! I stammered to the girl at the counter that we had had a problem, gesturing to the poop on the floor, and took my daughter out to the car, where I had left my diaper bag, to clean her up and change her. When we got back into the restaurant, the poop was still sitting on the floor - they'd left it for me to clean up - wasn't that nice! (No wonder Pizza Hut no longer dine-in!)

All this to say - you're not alone . . . (oh, and by the way, that was her last accident) Every child is different and will be ready at different times, for different reasons (not the least of which is temperament) - I thought my baby, a girl, would be a piece of cake to potty-train - boy, did she teach me a lesson. Don't expect your son to follow in your daughter's footsteps - let him be himself.

Good luck! And remember, they are all potty-trained before they graduate from high school! (=
B.

S., Don't worry, and don't push! My son didn't fully go to underwear until 3. It seemed like right after his 3rd b-day he just got it. He went with some accidents but stayed dry all night. It seems like with boys the more you push the more they withdraw. Just be possitive with him and try to take him to the potty every time you go. He will do it before yoy know it. One thing my son got a kick out of was picking out big-boy underwear. Good luck!

My son was the same way. then he started "sitting" or standing with daddy. Daddy brought a book (for both) and they would sit together... soon they were going together. Funny to see and funny to hear what they talked about all that time but eventually he did it. they still talk while one is "sitting".... 8 years later. good luck P

My son self-started about 6 months ago. Well, 6 months later we are finally almost there (during the day time, anyway). What really helped with my son was consistancy between daycare and home. Once he realized we were serious about him at least sitting when we asked, he started going. Then when he was moved to be around older kids, he started wanting to do it more. What helped us finally get over the edge was a potty watch. You can set it for 30, 60, or 90 min intervals. My son quickly picked up that when the music played, it was time to sit on the potty. The hardest part was getting him to "stink" on the potty at school, but the watch definitely helped us. You can find them at www.pottytrainingsolutions.com. Otherwise, just remember boys seem to take longer than girls. He's within the average range STILL if he is not potty-trained by 3. And, while it might seem like forever now, it IS inevitable that he is potty trained! :-)

Have a male go in with him and make it a game of making bubbles in the toilet while he pees. The little one will want to do the same. As for number 2 good luck. Boys seem to be harder.

My advice would be to lay off of him for a while, but tell him that if he won't go in the potty he has to wear a diaper- no pull ups, diapers. Odds are he'll be like "fine, give me a diaper." But eventually, when the pressure is off, he may change his mind. The key is not to turn it into a power struggle.

What has been helping us a lot (my son is 2.5 years) is using something that he likes to do as a motivator. My son really enjoys watching Sesame Street and some other favorite videos. He only gets to watch them if he goes potty on the toilet. We tried the "pineapple candy" (dried fruit) which worked at first, but he would refuse to try. He will always try if he gets to watch something he enjoys. At first, the reward was immediate, but now he is able to go a few times and will get to watch 1 thing later for having a good day. If he has an accident, he has to wait until he goes in the potty again to do what he wants to do. When he decides he doesn't want to try, I give him the choice of sitting in time out or trying to go potty. He always chooses to sit on the potty, and 9 times out of 10 he needs to go.

So my advice is find something he really likes as a reward and then consistently reward him for choosing to go potty.

I agree with the woman who says that going to the bathroom has now become a power struggle. Is there some reason you need him potty-trained at home right away? If not, consider taking the struggle away. Let him wear diapers at home. He controls his bodily functions so unless you find something that truly motivates him, he is gonna do what he wants anyway. Why make both of your lives miserable? He's not even 3 yet and the range of normal for potty-training is pretty wide. Let it go for awhile and see what happens. You can always go back to working on it at any time, but it may give you guys both a break. Good luck!

I had a hard time training my boys. They didn't were'nt fully trained until about 3 years of age. What finally worked was putting up a poster board in the playroom with stars and decorations on it. Whenever they used the potty they got to pick out a sticker and put it on the board. Good luck.

Dear S.,

I know that you do and that you are working like a crazy person to make the best life for your family possible. But boys are not girls and they have their own little issues, as they say nowadays. He will work it out , but the least pressure that you put on him the better. Our whole family - coast to coast celebrated when our 3 year old plus boy finally was potty trained. Keep on working on it WITH him. He is old enough to talk - almost - and to understand.

Good luck, C. N.

a friend of mine put cherrios in the toliet so that he would have something to aim at,soon he always wanted to go to the bathroom. -www.heavenlyhooked.com

My girl friend just told her son no more diapers and started at first with no under wear (because w underwear he felt like he had a diaper on) then when he was using the potty more she started using underwear... she also took him to the potty every 30 min it worked for her he made a few accidents in his pants then he realized he had to use the potty......every kid is differnt good luck..

My son was 3 yrs. old when he finally got the hang of it. I would just take him to the potty every 1 to 1 1/2 hrs. until he got it. Like you my daughters were easily trained at 18 months. Have daddy take him in the bathroom and help him. Then he will want to be a big boy like daddy and go peepee standing up.

Have you tried a target in the toilet?
I remember my daughter caught on quick and easy.
My son did ok, with peeing, but poop, oh my... he's going on 16 and still has terrible habits! Boys have a tougher time for some reason. He tells me he has accidents based on thinking he has gas, but lets it out to find he has diahreah. I think he eats too much sugary foods. He's always had this runny poop problem. Now it's just occassional but heck he's almost 16! At least the wanting to impress girls is kicking in and helping motivate him to smell nicer. Geez!
We went through a lot of underwear, threatened him with wearing diapers again when he was older, told him he'd have to use his allowance to buy his underwear since he didn't care enough to wipe good, nothing worked.
HE never wet the bed though. A friend of mine told me a trick. I used to get off work late, so when I got home I'd wake him up and make him use the toilet. It got to be a habit, and then he started doing it on his own. Never a wet bed, so I'm happy I didn't have that to deal with.
Now I remind him that one day he'll have a wife, and most likely she'll be doing his laundry, so he should really try to be more careful to wipe better, and not have "accidents". He's just lazy. Boys usually are. I think it's too soon for you to worry about yours, and i do wish you the best. I hope he does better than mine did. I didnt' want to scold him for fear of ruining him phsychologically, or giving him a complex, so I sat him down alone to discuss what could be the problem. I think that works best. Keep it confidential, that way he won't feel embarassed in front of others, but knows he has your help and confidence to get him through it.
Good luck! This too shall pass. Stay calm and patient. It takes a ton of patience to handle kids. That is for sure!
Mine are 15 and 16 this year. Wow time flies! Enjoy your young ones while you can. ;) I loved mine... still do.

Hi S.,
My son took much more time than my daughter. As soon as he had his third birthday, it seemed to click with him. He just may need to turn three until he gets it. Till then, keep applauding him with much enthusiasm when he goes potty at home. I gave my son stickers when he went.
Also, I haven't tried this, but my mom said this worked when she was training my brother: She put a lit match in the potty and my brother got a kick putting it out!