Help with Nephew

Wow you got alot on your plate.I have a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old and keep another 2 year old during the day and can not imagine being preg and having to work in the evenings.I would not worry about him knowing colors, counting/letters. Our oldest started preschool when he just turned 4 and did not know any of it either(he absolutely refused to learn anything with me, but learned it all after just 2 months of preschool).Sharing.....gosh it is still a fight with my boys every time and they have been encouraged to share from the begining. So I think it will take time with him. What I started doing when all 3 boys can not share I just take the toy away and nobody gets it(It is starting to work a little bit:)) With language.....you know I have friends who have a good, happy, healthy families and parents do not think it's a big deal for their kids to use curse words.For us as Christ followers it is not exceptable, so I think it will take a lot of reinforcement....he will get it .Love does amazing things!!!!!Hopefully it will all get resolved before baby comes.

Py close attention to the actions and make notes. He is acting out what he has learned, or not learned. Work a little extra with him, and if you want him in daycare or preschool,you may have to make the calls. The BIL may not be trying since you are available. Love him and baby him extra. He needs that. God Bless you for being so willing to help. God Bless these children.

K., Good Bless you for helping out. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Setting the boundries and sticking with them is the best and hardest thing you can do. I would also try to give him some one on one time. If you explain to your kids that you want to give him some extra attention the older will understand. The younger one possibly. Work on his colors, numbers along with your children. If they already know these things then work on it with just him and put it into everyday things or make games out of it. I would play a game like this, Joe can you find something that is red? Mark can your find something that is round and green, etc... When you do it this way you can ask according to the childs knowledge. As they learn more you can adjust the questions. The objects can be anything from toys to furniture. If your outside in the neighborhood you can do numbers and letters from license plates. I would also try to find a book of bible stories or at least stories with a good message. We had a ton of Golden Books when my kids were young. The were all appropiate. I am not sure about now? God Bless you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers.

K.,

I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're already doing the right thing. Kids need rules and structure, and the more he's around you the more he'll pick up your and your children's good habits. Bless you for taking this tough task on. This little boy will turn out all the better for your love and kindness.

Blessings

K.:

I am sure you know that just turned three year olds are a challenge to care for even without the issues you listed. My best advice to you is to remain consistent and enforce limits/rules firmly, but with love.

I just left a teaching job with three-year-olds in a child care center who had a lot of the same issues when I started. There were 15 kids on a full day (I had an assistant most days)and I saw a little improvement the second day I worked there. (The owner could not believe it when he came to check on me at nap and I had gotten 10 to sleep all by myself.) Within a week where there was once constent chaos there was learning going on. At the end of the third week they were a changed group of kids. I have 4 years of experience teaching preschool aged children and even I was amazed. I had never had a group that tough, but it was the most rewarding experience I have had yet. The most amazing part is they were still in less than desirable situations outside of daycare, but the firm consistnecy at school made the difference. Parents told my assistant and I they were carrying over the new positive behaviors to their home life.

Once he realizes you stick to your guns and really really care about him he will start to come around. He probably already has since you posted. Don't forget to PRAISE him when he does the right thing - I mean go over the top! I nannied 55 hours/week for a 4.5 year old, 2 year old and infant until the week befor I delivered my daughter, so I know it is EXHAUSTING caring for others kids. It will be so worth it for you exspecially since he is your nephew. If you ever need words of encouragement or ideas on how to handle things please send me a message and I will respond ASAP!

Good Luck,

Kathy M

I think this is a blessing in disguise that you are able to help with this child. I would keep doing what you are doing and reprimanding him when he acts badly and reinforce when he does good. Maybe you will teach him things that he can take with him once he goes home again. Also, helping him color and do crafts to learn would be great!

Can you adopt him and keep him away from the influences of his first three years? Probably not, huh. You need to be consistent in your rules and he will learn. It will take time, I don't know how long. Good luck

Hi K.,

3 yrs old is a hard age to know what to do, especially When he lives in another home. It's not too late to have the talk about what you expect from him when he comes through your door. Keep your foot down and show him how fun it is to follow your rules. Give him more opportunities to share, remind him over and over that if he doesn't share he will (examples) take a nap, sit in time out, not have anything to play with, stay in a part of the house with you and not do anything, have to clean something. I use to have my son sweep even though I new he couldn't do it properly it was just to directed him somewhere else. I hope you get some ideas, and God Bless you and your family.

It surely sounds as if you're doing everything you CAN possibly do (not just for the child, but in your life in general!!)

Make the consequences gentle but concrete. Watch a couple 'Nanny 911' shows! Reward (or at least 'praise') for positive actions, results and change.

I've seen some children of very intelligent and busy working folks who couldn't communicate as well as my own children did (I was a FT SAHM and LOVE interacting w/kids). You're doing the right things and it WILL make a difference in the little guy's life. Just don't have too great of expectations, or you may be disappointed. Give yourself credit for what IS accomplished -- he's being loved, integrated, and nurtured!

God bless you!

i really hate to say this but my 3.5 year old is the same way but we truly believe he has adhd he wont sit still very long good luck

Patience and love is what he needs. He is only 3 so restating rules of what is and isn't acceptable are par for the course. Do think of him as your own who needs a little extra TLC and thank God for the opportunity to be a positive influence in his life. He obviously needs it. And he is related to you so that might make it easier to treat him as your own child. May God bless you in this task and on this journey. Make sure to take care of yourself, too, during this time. Prayer and patience goes a long way.