Help with My Class Clown..

I'd highly recommend both you and your husband reading "Taking Charge:Caring Discipline that Works at Home and At School" by JoAnne Nordling. I think this book would be helpful if you are willing to read it and stick with the corrections/suggestions. (We used this book with my preschool and my son's preschool also requests parents read it, as they use it as a guideline for discipline as well.) I can tell you as a preschool teacher myself--the best way you can support his teachers is by having clear rules and consistent correction at your own home. If it's not a 'fact of life' that he must listen at home, then expecting him to do it at school is a pretty big stretch for him. It's time for you and Dad to lay down the law and help your son to understand that it's expected that he listens to the adults or you are very right, he will have a difficult time at kindergarten.

The other piece of advice I can offer is to talk to the pediatrician and see if some Occupational Therapy would be right for your son. An OT would be able to help your son understand what was expected of him in social situations/class situations by explaining, practicing, and giving you and your husband 'homework' to continue doing this good work at home. If this feels beyond you, then perhaps a family counselor who is comfortable giving you and your husband support on changing this 'not listening' dynamic would be helpful. I say this without judgment--we all have challenges as parents (I know I certainly do) and sometimes trying to change how we do things triggers other, unexamined fears or issues regarding our relationships with our child, spouse or our own parents. Sometimes parents aren't comfortable being firm with discipline because they are afraid their child won't like them anymore... I'm not saying this is your situation, by the way, but sometimes support or a parenting workshop can provide valuable support and feedback. Good luck!

Have you considered giving him an extra year of preschool? I know that is probably not as appealing as sending him to K, but it's worth considering. I might talk to his preschool teachers and see what they have to say on the subject. It's pretty common for moms of young kindergarteners, especially boys, to delay "real" school.

Otherwise, I guess I'd make sure he has plenty of other activity to keep him busy and wear him out. If he isn't already, have him take some sort of sport or class this summer to practice listening to someone else in authority. You could also try playing more games at home, like card and board games to practice slowing down, following directions, staying on task and being a good sport. (not that he isn't a good sport, but that's always something to work on!)

This is normal behavior. To get him to start listening, begin with a light touch on his shoulder, then give him the direction you want him to follow.

Another way to get him to-listen, is to say to him, "Johnny I need you to listen. stop, running in the house. We do not run inside."

Another technique is to tell him, "I need you to tell me what I just said."

Do this enough times and he will learn to listen each time you are speaking to him.

Just make this a normal each time event, and he will be ready to listen when given instructions and have good listening habits.

Also do not yell across the house. Go to him to speak with him. All of you should try to walk to a person to speak with them, remember in a classroom, he will not be allowed to yell across the classroom, so this is good practice.

You just described my daughter! Who is now 10.

What we discovered is she tended to misbehave when she was bored or didn't understand what was going on. She still does it!

What has always worked is giving her clear directions and expectations, that include things she should not do. Before any type of class I have to say "you are expected to do what things?" and she says "follow directions, listen to the teacher, don't talk when anyone else is talking, only do what the teacher has asked me to do" etc.

Once the expectations were clear, she was very well behaved. We even had to have her "practice listening" and following directions, but in a silly way. We would often play Simon Says or give her silly directions to follow.

It's sometimes hard raising a spirited child, but when he grows up he will be a leader. Maybe even president! So control him firmly and kindly, but don't squish him :)

My 5 year old was the same way at the start of this school year (his kindergarten year). After the newness of the surroundings wore off, he fell in perfect step. I admit that having a teacher who is willing to do different activities that suit all the major personality types helps. She truly was the perfect teacher for him.

Also, try checking out Love and Logic by Jim Fay. My husband and I have been using it for years, and it truly has been a godsend to deal with many of the normal issues that arise with kids. It really is a wonderful program. For a quick peek, I know there are some video clips on youtube.

Simply set up a consequence for the undesirable behavior at an inappropriate time and follow through.

You have just described my son, who is in kindergarten this year. He is a follower though, and will some how find the most rowdy child and follow them and end up in trouble. I watched him Karate last year totally disregard the teacher and act up in his final performance with another child. He is Mr. Popularity, class clown, and a riot, and also the youngest in the class. Like you, I was worried about kindergarten. I told them in advance that I needed a very patient teacher that wouldn't crush him, but would build on his sense of humor at the same time as encouraging him to behave. He does not do well with young teachers that use time out or yelling as the sole way of disciplining. He does better with older teachers that can laugh, but can also stop him with a look. His teacher is wonderful. she incorporates music and fun into her class and gives them lots of time throughout the day to get their wiggles out. He does get in trouble at times, but overall, he listens and has done so well. I don't think that holding him back would have changed him one bit. He will be like this for the next 12 years, it is just him. He is switching schools next year due to a move, but his teacher was planning to separate him from some of the other rowdy kids in the class and personally match his teacher to him. I would speak with the school and see if they can recommend a teacher for him. You will find that he will mature some over the summer and that with the right teacher he will blossom.