I have spent countless hours researching answers to this problem. We have been dealing with this problem for 5 years. My daughter is 8 years old and continues to get up while we are sleeping and takes food. She hides apple cores, banana peels, wrappers, milk, cream, etc. We have dealt with bug infestations, finding sour, molded, rotten milk, cream, and other foods. We cannot ignore the problem when there are health/sanitary issues at stake. This has continued for years despite all our efforts to address the problem. We have tried every suggestion we could find. We given consequences, locked cabinets, stopped purchasing junk food (we have three children). We decided to respond with less limits and tried giving her her own container of healthy snacks she can eat freely and have allowed her the right to freely help herself to fruit, vegtables, and an array of other healthy choices without permission or limits. We have responded with everything from limits and consequences to permission to get food without permission and still she continues to take and hide the food. We give snacks and deserts daily and have never deprived the kids of food. There are times when we don't have junk food for snacks or desert, however, most of the time we do. We have approached this from every angel we can find and still the behavior continues. We are at a loss as to what to do. Punishment or consequences have not worked. Locking cabinets has not worked. Allowing her to eat freely of most any food aside from junk food doesn't work. Providing her with a container of snacks permissible to eat between meals hasn't worked. We are not comfortable in allowing her to eat freely of any and all junk food when she pleases and have two other children as well that we want to raise with healthy limits. I am at a complete loss as to what to do anymore. We have tried all that has been criticized and all that has been suggested and have made no progress. We have talked at length with her, gave extra attention, and tried the other end by not giving it alot of attention or energy, just simple reminders with no anger or consequences. We have taken her to therapy. Does a parent just allow this to continue?
Okay this may be coming from left field but have you thought of trying hypnosis? Maybe under hypnosis you can find out why she is doing this and have a post hypnotic trigger left so she stops this behavior. Like the hypnoisis for smoking.
Can you think back 5 years ago and try to remember a loss she might have suffered? Typically hoarding behavior stems from the loss of a loved one (a grandparent?) or a radical change (moving/divorce).
My 21 year old stepson is a hoarder, he literally cannot see the mess around him. I attribute it to the fact his mother removed him from his home and siblings when he was 11 to come live with his dad and I (he was ADHD) and she couldn't handle him.
~A.
Have you considered that she might be sleep eating? Sometimes people will nosh on random junk in their sleep and not even realize it, it might be a disorder and punishing will not work on the sub conscience? Just a thought, but either way i recommend a specialist, either a sleep study, or a hoarding specialist. Sleep disorders often get better with age, hoarding will only get worse (statistically speaking).
Maybe you should set up a nanny cam (hidden camera) in her room and also in the kitchen. it might get to the bottom of stuff.
when i was little i used to sleep "cook", im not sure there is a name for this, but id raid the fridge combine ingredients in a bowl, i would even turn on the oven, then id go sit in front of a turned off t.v...........this stopped by the time i was 10, now i just talk in my sleep(well i have whole conversations) My daughter walks in her sleep now, but she doesnt cook or eat.
I wish I had an answer for you. I'm simply writing because your post struck a chord with me. A lot of parents are struggling with tricky issues, and I just wanted to say, "hugs," I feel your frustration.
Is it anxiety? I've been wondering with my own child who has eating issues if eating according to the clock would help? Every two and a half hours, you must eat. But knowing that there was an opportunity to eat, gave you the ability to say no at other times? Just an idea I'm contemplating for mine.
One thing I did for my 5-year-old was copy and laminate the food pyramid (placemat sized), and multiple little squares with pictures of dairy, grain, protein, vege, fruit, sweets. I put sticky-back velcro on the pieces. And then he had to "fill out" his food chart toward the afternoon when he started asking for 'fun food.' If his diet wasn't well balanced, the chart told him he needed to make a better choice for snack. That way, it wasn't mom enforcing the healthy eating, it was the chart. Doesn't sound spot on for your situation, but maybe your daughter would like filling out her chart.
Does she help plan and prepare (and cleanup) after meals? Our occupational therapist felt that would help my son, and again, may be a way your daughter can help gain 'control' over food.
No, I don't think you should allow this to continue.
I think that you probably need professional assistance at this point. I would talk to the pediatrician, and, in addition to whatever physical tests are needed/recommended, ask for a referral to a psychologist.
I do know that there is a syndrome, called Willi-Prader (or maybe Willi-Praeder) syndrome, where the body always feels hungry. This is genetic I believe and can be tested for.
But I think your best bet is a psychologist/psychiatrist.
I agree with a new pediatrician and a new therapist. She is getting some sort of benefit from this - either she is genuinely and abnormally hungry which could be a GI problem or it is emotional/mental. Either way, I don't think you can do more except chaining the fridge and pantry shut. But that won't solve the underlying problem.
I suggest adopting a healthy "normal" meal structure - how you would ideally do things if this was not a problem. Then keep a diary of when and what she eats - hoarding or not. And anything she says about it. Bring the diary with you. to the doctor(s).
Your post makes it sound like you think this is behavioral and she is essentially being naughty. But I would guess that in some way (physical or mental) she can't stop this. Five years? You need to keep pushing professionals to some sort of solution. I don't think any amount of discipline will fix this. But if you get a diagnosis, then discipline will help.
What's missing from you eloquent post....is....Why does she say she still does this after years of concern and trying to disrupt the behavior?
She is at one level old enough to start to try and verbalize what is going on in her head and with her feelings to make he go and get and hide food. There are so many steps to this behavior that at some point I would imagine she's cognizant of it. At what point in the food process does she accept that she understands what she is doing?
And...there is just one comment in your blog about taking her to therapy... What happened there? How long? Why wasn't it successful?
I have heard through my life from professional acquaintances that hoarding is one of the most complicated and difficult of all mental disorders to effectively treat. The problem is that the part of the brain responsible for such irrational behavior is located primarily in the brain stem. And problems that arise from the brain stem are too deeply rooted to have much of an impact on. Just repeating what I've heard....what do I know?
I have a sister who used to steal food in the middle of the night, usually ice cream from the freezer. My mom asked for months who was taking the food. No one ever fessed up. Finally my mom slept in the kitchen for a few nights to observe and sure enough found my sister sleep walking straight to the freezer and consuming the ice cream. The first night my mom did not disturb her, just watched. The next morning she told my sister she had watched her and that from then on she was going to wake her and stop her. So this is 45 years ago, before the benefits of cognitive and behavior therapists were available in every city. And yes there was a lot of trauma in our family, so that was the problem with that started that issue. But if you can't pin point any specific trauma in her life that would have started this....what happened in her life 5 years ago?
I hope you and your family can successfully disrupt her hoarding behavior soon. Don't give up.
hello
sounds like you are doing your best but the last thing you want to do is punish/shame her for her behavior which at this age, she is too young to understand why she is "automatically" doing this... I would take her to a therapist who deals specifically with hoarding and see what can be done..obviously, it's not about the food, that is just the symptom. I suspect that this is about some type of stress that she is feeling.... to me, this is more about anxiety... Definitely find a person who deals with younger people and anxiety issues.. Again, locking cabinets is not really helping in the long run.. shaming (which is what in this specific case I believe the punishment is doing) is only going to increase anxiety within her and cause her to act out even more.. I truly believe her actions are bigger than even she can handle or understand... if you've ever known an adult who seems to have issues with food, you'll find that again, the food is just the symptom... you have to get behind the food and to the root cause.. I would try a new therapist..
I wish you and your family the best..
blessings
Hi A., I hear ya! My husband does this. I assume for the most part it is done in his sleep. He loves sugar and will seek sugar no matter where I hide it. He is a recovered alcoholic, so sugar is a normal craving for a non-drinker. However, sometimes it is not always sweets. I have tried to feed him a big dinner to fill his belly before sleeping and nothing seems to work. I do have to get after him for the mess he leaves behind him, but sometimes he will say he didn't do it, so I assume he does it in his sleep. Knowing him well enough, he has no problem admitting he has done something and facing the consequence, so I assume he sometimes does this in his sleep.
Sorry no help, but I understand.
You need to get her a Therapist. A Different one.
This goes way beyond, just a kid being naughty.
She needs, to be assessed overall, (not just per her hoarding) and receive some kind of Therapy.
This is not normal behavior.
At all.
What kind of Therapy did she receive before?
She is now 8 years old. And she has been doing this for 5 years.
You find a Therapist that is good, and you do not stop trying to find one, until you find one.
This cannot continue... with her being untreated and have it go on for years and years. Possibly.
She cannot control herself.
It is involuntary.
She needs help and treatment.
Hoarding, has nothing to do with the food per say. Hoarding is a whole set of other psychological/emotion based problems.
Has she even been traumatized in any way?
Doesn't sound like it's about the actual food. I think you need a new therapist. Sounds like you've been doing the very best you can, but she might need a fresh look at things with an outsider.
I have not read the other responses so I'm sorry if this is a repeat. But, I had a friend who would do this in her sleep. Her hubby woke up one night to find her with a big knife in bed cutting up an apple and he could tell that she was asleep. He also watched her get out of bed, go to the kitchen, get some left over pizza, walk back into the room, open the closet, sit on a dirty clothes basket and eat some of the pizza and leave the rest there. He thought it was funny because she had kind of a blank stare and he could tell she was asleep. He did get nervous about the knife thing. She couldn't figure out why she was gaining weight.
You need to seek better professional help. Find a psychologist in your area that specializing in eating disorders. It seems like this is most likely an eating disorder which needs to be treated now to avoid more problems in the fututre.
I am guessing this is your birth child since you didn't say otherwise. Foster kids often hoard food. Is she binge eating also? Or is this small amounts of stuff? I am guessing it is binge eating. She needs help. Good for you for taking the next step and let us know how it goes.
I didn't read all the responses but here's my take on it. if the therapist that you are working with has not offered you any hope (or even if they have) you might want to consider working with someone who works specifically with food/eating disorders, bulimics and anorexia patients. at least talk to someone who does, they might be able to offer you better support. I work for a psychologist and I know she also works with the parents of all her younger/minor patients to make a working plan of treatment for each child. make sure you are doing that with her therapist. Treatment is a joint effort. you may have to consider a different therapist or treatment center for the situation that you are in. I would call several eating disorder clinics and see what they would suggest.
best of luck!
My granddaughter started this when she was about 15 or 16. Food disorders are not much different than other addictions. Get some help. You can't deal with this problem alone.
Have you talked to your pediatrician about this at all? It might be a form of anxiety/OCD and if it is, she might really benefit from some therapy/counseling. Good luck.
Food hoarding may be connected to OCD. You say you tried therapy and it did not work. I am assuming it was cognitive behavior therapy. If the therapy did not work, I would talk to your doctor about medication. This is compulsive behavior and medication can help with that. I am sure your poor daughter wants to stop this behavior as much as you would like it to stop and medication might make that possible. I speak from experience in that I have a family member with OCD whose life was nearly destroyed before he started taking prozac....it literally saved his life. I realize that some folks are against medicating children, but you clearly have tried everything else and I can feel the extreme level of stress this is causing your family. I hope you find a solution.
