Help with Eating Table Foods

My daughter had problems swallowing solids and semi-solids because of poor muscle development in her mouth (which also made her a late talker).

Get over the idea that seeing the feeding therapist is a bad thing or something that you need to wait for because your son might grow out of the problem in the meantime. Enduring two months of "eating wars" will not help you or your son. Ask for an appointment NOW so you can find out if there's some underlying oral muscle development issue that needs to be dealt with.

Actually Im in the process of breaking my 18 month old of this. I consulted the pediatrician and she recommened that I stop buying baby food and mash puree, etc. Only offer him table food. Different varietys, fruits, meats, veggies, etc and he will eat, he will not starve himself. It took my son about 3 full days of barely eating (he was drinking his milk) and now he is eating normal table foods like hes been diong it for a long time. Theres still some textured foods he doesnt like (bananas) but i continue offering it, sometime it takes 10x of offering a food befoer they will eat it.
But there could be a underlying reason its happening, so if you try cutting out puree food and he really wont eat table food id consutl with a therapist.

Best of luck!!!

this is harsh, but sometimes that's what it takes. stop pureeing/mashing food up. period. when he gets hungry enough, he will eat big boy foods. put a positive spin on it for him, like "you're such a BIG BOY now! BIG BOYS! eat with their teeth!" and give him his food. he may go on a food strike for a couple days and yes, you will have some temper tantrums on your hands. but stay firm, keep a smile on your face, and explain that BIG BOYS! eat with their teeth, like mommy and daddy! and that's what we're going to do now! eventually, he will start to learn that chewing isn't the end of the world. in the meantime, don't offer him milk or juice. water only. the whole point of this is for him to get hungry enough to try eating with his teeth.
also, as you do this, start totally over with his food experience, and try reintroducing foods to him. start with one or two foods and offer those over and over until has the hang of chewing those. then add something else. start with easy chewing foods, such as bread with peanut butter, bananas, cottage cheese, etc. then go with bits of soft apple (macintosh is a good, soft variety), small chunks of cheese, scrambled or soft boiled egg, and maybe even some shredded chicken.
encourage him often, cheer his successes, and don't let your emotions get involved.

however, he may need a therapist if this isn't just a weird quirk your child has picked up. if that's the case, there's a good chance that no amount of enforcement will help. you'll know if that's the case.

First off, if choking was going to detour a child from eating, it would have been my kid. He choked at nearly every meal and would often throw up at least once a day (from a weak gag reflex). He still continued to eat..

I would say that it's time to treat this very matter-of-fact. Tell him that he's no longer having any pureed food and that now he'll be eating big-boy food. After that you must stop giving him mashed up food all together. I bet that he might refuse one or two meals and then starting trying more foods by the next. Children will eat what they're given, they will not starve themselves. As it stands he knows that if he holds out just a few more minutes he can have what he wants. You can probably have him eating whole foods in less than a day, just be prepared for a fit or two (which is OK)..

Children are only picky eaters when their parents foster it. I went to China in 2003 and asked a local woman if she knew any children that didn't like vegetables. She could not think of a single child that didn't like them! Children will eat and like what they're given the vast majority of the time. Children will not starve themselves.

Good luck!

Hi there. I know I'm a little late responding to this, but I wanted to encourage you to have your son evaluated by the early head start program. I have twin boys who were born 5 weeks premature and we had major battles with them over food. lots of gagging and choking and it was a sensory developmental thing with them and muscle coordination, etc. We had them evaluated at 19 months when we moved here and it was totally free. they both qualified for services in the area of speech and adaptive skills (eating) and we had an OT coming to our home once a week for free to work with them and work with us. It was the BEST thing ever for my boys. For my boys, they didn't sit very well and didn't spend much time crawling at all. They were early walkers but I learned that if babies don't spend enough time crawling or developing their abdominal muscles through sitting, it can cause a number of developmental issues. My kids were fine eating hard and crunchy things because they liked to feel that pressure of something hard/crunchy in their mouths. If it was a noodle or banana or something like that, they would gag and spit it out. The mushy/soft texture would literally send their brain into sensory overload. We actually had more success feeding them finger foods if they were standing. they felt more stable and comfortable with their feet planted on the ground vs. sitting in their booster chair. You could try offering your son something in a baggy while he is standing and see how he responds. does he walk on his tip toes? this is another sign that OT's look for when evaluating kids for sensory stuff. forcing him to eat table foods is only going to be frustrating and if there is a sensory component involved, he will be frustrated and even scared. How are his verbal skills? The happy ending for us is now we have 2 great eaters and they are 3 now and speaking in full paragraphs. Your son is at the perfect age for evaluation and the sooner you can get help, the better. There is nothing wrong with him, he may just need some sensory fine tuning to get past this. blessings to you.

Put it on his tray when he is hungry before you feed him his "regular" food. Let him play with it. Don't force him to eat it. Let him play with it. Give him really tasty bits of food that go down easy--like bananas, cooked baby green peas and carrots, etc. Don't say a word about it if he doesn't eat it. Leave it on his tray while you are feeding him. Make sure the food is cut into small bits. Also cherrios or scrambled eggs for breakfast!

Do that with a variety of food including the food that you are eating for dinner. Make sure you put that food on his tray before you feed him his "regular" food, while he is hungry.

Never feed him his "regular" food first, no matter how much he fusses. You need to be busy fixing dinner or his "regular" food.

have you tried gradually thickening his foods so the purees become solids over time? it sounds like he is partially receptive to this already. you can make a really thick paste out of baby food by adding baby cereal or combining gound solid foods. it might be easier for him to transition if he got used to thicker foods in his mouth gradually. Cut out the purees entirely, and every few days just make the same foods but a little thicker, then a little more course/chunky.
i think it would be worth seeing a dr to rule out a medical condition (unless your current Dr already has).
good luck!

Hi CW,

Okay so I read all the other comments before responding. I guess I am pretty fortunate because our son who is 21 months gave up baby food back in October and started eating people food. Of course we started him out on applesauce, yogurt and cheese. (he is a cheese snob now) and worked our way through the other foods. He is not big on meat per se but, will eat chicken so, that is good. So, perhaps you can take the others advice and stop pureeing and give him bits or bites of what you and your husband are eating and go from there. As soon as our son sees us eating something he always wants a bite of whatever we are having. Good luck to you and it will be okay.

I agree with the other ladies about stop giving him mashed & pureed food. I don't think he'll starve himself either. I think it's important to get through this phase with your child and not set yourself up for catering for his dietary whims. I believe the family should share a meal together and eat what is served or at least try it. Of course the exception is if there is an allergy to something and I'd adjust the meal to not seem different than everyone else's. I see what you're going through with him as him getting used to eating regular foods and having softer and harder foods would be a good step, but it should be what you're having too and commenting on him being a big boy and eating what the family eats is helpful.
I think it's extreme to consider going to therapy over this issue, as well as putting a time limit. He's only 1 1/2 years old. If you cut out the mashed/ pureed food and are calm and positive and say this is whats for dinner tonight and don't give attention to the tantrum there will be results.

Read the book "How to Get Your Kid to Eat...But Not Too Much". It's great. My son (almost 3 now) is very similar to yours. Ate baby food until he was 2.5, would still eat it now if I let him. It's such a struggle. Try not to let it become a power struggle, you need to act like you could care less whether or not he eats what you give him. It's his choice to eat and your job to provide him what you want him to eat. Good luck!

A little different perspective here. A little boy we know was diagnosed with a sensory disorder that makes mealtimes a real challenge for his parents. He didn't move beyond pureed foods until he was at least 18-24 months. The tiniest chunk of food would cause him to vomit. He has slowly accepted new, chunkier foods, but it has been a long process. Perhaps you should talk to a feeding specialist or do some googling on sensory disorders to see if your son's behaviors fit the diagnosis. If there IS a problem, you don't want to make it worse by making mealtime a battleground. Good luck!

I agree with the other mothers who say to get the appointment with the therapist immediately. My nephew has been to an occupational therapist who has helped him with food fears that started around 9months of age.

Googling won't help you solve your son's problems. He needs to learn how to eat real food. Go see the specialist asap. They are there to help.

You described my son exactly. I don't know what else to do either. My son will be 18 months old on Jan 28th and he is still only eating baby food, yogurt, and regular applesauce. I got him to eat peanut butter the other day and he loves it, but theres no texture go figure. His Dr wasn't that worried about it and says some babies have stronger gag refluxes than others and there are really no tricks but to just keep offering it to him and one day he will like it when he is ready. If you get any other tips let me know.

I wouldn't put the food on the spoon for him. I would continue to let him explore the table food at his own pace and slowly phase out the pureed food. Serve his plate with a little more table food and less pureed every day. Let him explore the new foods and eat it at his own pace. Even as adults we tend to pick at and explore new foods before actually eating them:)

Hi. I wouldn't worry about him eating "real food" yet. My son would not touch the stage 3's because of all the chunks in there. He is 3 now, eating well but still won't touch meat unless it is chicken or fish. He was well over 2 before he started eating more advanced food. I wouldn't worry too much about it. He'll progress when he's ready and as long as he's enough of everything else, he'll be just fine. Mine was all fruits and veggies, then he moved on to pastas and breads, now he's into more, but just within the past 9 months or so has he made that leap. He is thin but by no means undernourished. I think if we listened more to what they want, they'll let us know what they need. He is my first and only (I'm 44) so I get worried over the smallest things, not knowing if he's going too slow, not where he should be etc. I've come to realize that he'll be ready when he's ready and as long as he's really not in any harm, he'll be just fine. Good luck!

R.

My first advice is: find another pediatrician!

I am a counselor--not specifically for children, but I am also a mother of three who are 19, 15, and 10. My 10 year old, when she was a baby, was accidentally fed some smushed yams that were too hot. She regularly refused ANY food or drink that was orange colored for quite some time. It's a reasonable thing, if you think about it from their perspective.

If your son had two scary choking incidents, then it shows he is very intelligent and has a good memory that he is still afraid of that. If you force him and he then chokes because he is upset, all you will do is reinforce that very reasonable fear of choking on solid foods! Since one of the main responses to fear is that our throats tend to tighten up, you cannot get anywhere until you help your little boy not be afraid--which will not happen through force or cajoling.

At 18 months, he is not yet verbal, so you cannot try to explain things easily, and he cannot give you words for his fears. However, if there are one or two favorite foods that he ALWAYS loves when given "properly pureed" (in his mind), then you might start with that. I don't know if this will work, but you might try pureeing a normal amount for him, but keeping just a few bites out that you don't puree--still mashing them so they are just a tiny bit chunky, hardly at all, but still not that super smooth puree. Give him a few bites of his favorite, yummy, perfectly pureed food, and then offer him one bite of the exact same thing, but a little lumpy. See how he does. If he accepts that, then give him another bite of the pureed, and then another bite of the mashed. Just alternate back and forth for a few meals--but give him time, don't expect him to get over his fear right away.

If he does not accept it, try again in a day or two--don't try to push it the very next meal, or you'll just make him suspicious of all food!

His pediatrician needs to be someone who can relax a bit and not force you to follow charts to put your baby in a box. He is getting all the nutrition he needs, and he has a reason he fears non-pureed food. He doesn't need a therapist--he needs time and careful retraining to know that lumpy foods are safe and he won't choke on them. Until then, let him be happy with his pureed food--this too shall pass.

Fiora

Hi. My son is 19 months and we also had a scary choking incident several months ago. He really had to process the whole experience for a while. He would open his mouth wide, as if to be choking and act out the whole scenario. Maybe your son needs to process the choking incidents a little more. Ask him if he thinks he might choke on the food, and reassure him that when he chews good, everything will be OK. I always tell my son, chew really good, its Ok, you are doing so great!

I hope this helps.

Abra has given you excellent advice. I agree with her. I'd like to add to her recommendation by commenting on your comment that you "have 2 months to get him to eat." This sounds like you've taken on the responsibility for him eating and will feel guilty if he's still not eating solid food in two months.

You are only responsible for providing food in a calm pleasant atmosphere. It's his job to eat it. You cannot make him eat. Often we parents feel that what our child does or does not do, to include eating, is our responsibility. That is not always true, especially with eating. We provide the healthy food and atmosphere. You are asking a good question about how to provide the food and atmosphere? I added, how does the parent find a way to feel less stressed and/or guilty about the process? In my earlier post I answered that question in a way that could make you feel worse.

What I meant is that when we feel that we must make the child eat we feel that we've failed when he doesn't eat what we have given him. Sometimes we then just give him what he will eat fearing that he will not be healthy without food. One lesson we are teaching to our baby/child in this sort of situation is that if they hold out long enough we will give them what they want. It's a whole lot more complicated than that and can have unforseen results.

I must apologize for my first post. After reading other answers I realize that I came across as judgemental which was not my intent. I was thinking that you are trying too hard to get him to eat more solid food and then giving him the soft food thinking that he had to eat and it was your responsibility to make him eat something at least. I made the assumption he didn't have any sensory disorders and still think it's unlikely based on our family's experience.

I am revising my original message and adding the following information since the possibility of a serious condition has been brought up. I repeat, I see nothing in your post to indicate a serious condition.

My grandson has a sensory disorder which resulted in a different problem for him. He needed a mouth full of food with definite texture apparently so that he could feel that he had food in his mouth. I hadn't thought about a child having the opposite problem. His mother took my grandson to the Multnomah County Educational Service District for evaluation when he was 2 1/2 and we realized that his speech abilites were not increasing. (I don't know if this is the same program mentioned by another mother as early childhood intervention and involved with Head Start but it could be.)

Federal law requires that all school districts provide evaluation and treatment, free of charge, for any condition that interferes with learning. One program is for ages up to 3 and then there is another one for after age 3. The first program is more intensive and does provide for more in home therapy and support than the second one. It may be the earlier aged program is called the Early Childhood Intervention Program.

Difficulty with eating is just one difficulty that might indicate a sensory disorder and thus a need for intervention. Difficulty with speech is another one. Googling sensory disorders on the Internet can help a parent understand these disorders and the possibility that their child might have a sensory disorder or not.

Perhaps the doctor has suggested a therapist because of a sensory disorder. However, there are are many kinds of therapists and I wouldn't assume that the doctor is considering a physical disorder. I don't know what issues your doctor is considering. Since you said he was giving you two months to get him eating solid foods I guessed that he wasn't talking about a specific physical disorder such as a sensory disorder because it is best treated by early intervention. A child gets the best free intervention help before the age of 3.

My grandson has had a physical therapist, who deals with the way the body works, an occupational therapist who is the one involved with teaching how to deal with specific physical everyday activities, and a speech therapist as well as a social worker who is also a therapist.

He also attended Head Start as a part of this program and is doing well in a special education kindergarten. He'll begin to be integrated into the regular classroom in the new school year.

This long and intensive path of therapy for my grandson did not start with a simple inability to appropriately eat. In fact none of us noticed that he was eating any differently than other children even tho he was.

You can call your county Educational Service District and talk with them. They will make an appointment for an evaluation if your description of your child's behavior indicate the need for an evaluation.

As usual I've written a too long message. Take from it what is helpful for you.