Help with Daughter's Thick Hair!

My d's hair is not super think but she also would get a tangled mess underneath. It seemed to be solved when she got her first haircut this year--at 10 yrs old. We had them cut a few layers in her hair. I think it made it easier for her to brush. She can still have the length, and may like it more since it might not seem as heavy and easier to manage. You might also want to work with her so she knows how to brush the back. Both of my girls have long hair and always had nice top and sides but the back always needed to be brushed again.

Hi,
I have crazy thick hair that we refer to as "The Mop" so I feel your (and your step-daughter's) pain. I wash and condition every other day, then use a straighting product from Joico (not sure if you can use on kids so you might want to ask your stylist) and also use a leave in conditioner. Also, I brush it a couple times a day (like after coming in from outside). I find the brush with soft tops to be the least painful. Just let her know that if she isn't willing to keep it brushed then she has to get it cut. Make sure she knows the more she brushes it the softer it will stay.
Good Luck!

Hi-
My 7 yo daughter has very thick, long, wavy hair, and very similar reactions (people must think we're torturing her every morning when we brush her hair...) I second the layers. My daughter also refuses to cut her hair short. When we took her for a trim one day, the hair stylist asked if she swims. We told her yes (Our kids take swim lessons once a week, year round..) She said that the chlorine builds up on her hair and that we should use a swim shampoo. It has made a HUGE difference! We use Suave Kids sports and swim shampoo, and it does an awesome job of smoothing out her hair and making it easier to brush/comb. We still use a conditioner as well, but I make sure to totally rinse it out, because it weighs down her hair, and makes it look dirty a lot sooner. I never realized that chlorine had that effect on hair. I don't know if your stepdaughter swims, but if so, try the Suave (fairly inexpensive) and see what a difference it makes!

Good luck from another dealing with your stepdaughter's twin!

My hair was like that as a child. When I got the rat's nest underneath, the only thing that worked was to sit in a chair in the kitchen while someone massaged conditioner into the tangle and gently worked it out using fingers to gradually separate it first, then a wide tooth comb, then a narrow tooth comb. The key is don't let a rat's nest form, easier said than done with an 8 year old. A compromise might be to buzz the under part of her hair where all the very sensitive areas are. That way it won't hurt her so much to brush her hair. It won't show unless she wears a pony tail. And, by the time it grows out she'll be old enough to do a better job brushing her own hair. Suave Professionals Sleek Conditioner works well and so does Garnier Fructis. However we don't use Garnier Fructis in the shower because it makes the tub dangerously slippery. It's more for when you wash your hair in the sink or are removing a tangle.
Good luck!!!

Hi NW
Good for you on helping her tame the snarls! I have curly thick hair and have found a leave-in conditioner is very helpful. About the no tears shampoo, the stuff still burns their eyes, it has nerve deadening stuff in it so you just don't feel it! I have had great luck for myself & daughter with Nexxus shampoos & conditioners, it's not super costly but not cheap either (about $12 for a large-ish bottle @ Target). They have one conditioner that can be left in, I think it's headdress or something like that, it might help her.

Also, Garnier-Fructis has a line of inexpensive leave-in conditioners that work very well for lubricating the hair for brushing, but it must go in while her hair is still wet, for best results.

When my daughter's hair got like that we had a frank talk about either we brush all of it, or you get a haircut. They don't understand about matting, but they get that something will become even more painful if it's not cared for properly.

Good luck!
D.

Oh, how I feel for you....this is my 6 year old all over. What we do is to wash her hair every other day. We use a combination shampoo/conditioner for kids. Then we follow with an adult conditioner that I let sit while she finishes bathing. After bath, I carefully work in a dollup of Pantene pro-v frizz control and let it sit for a few minutes. Then using a wide tooth comb carefully comb thru in sections spraying as needed with Infusium 23. After I finally work thru the wide comb I switch to a smaller comb or brush and do the same. We recently managed to get a couple of inches lopped off. Just went in carefully and out of ear or eye shot of the kid told the hair stylist to cut off 2-3 inches. Her hair is much more maneagable---and she recognizes it as well. SURPRISE on that front. At night, I often braid it in 2 loose braids. And as far as the crying and refusing to let anyone touch it we had tons of tears and refusals....we laid down the law---either comb and brush your own hair everyday or we'll do it for you---and if you continue to cry it all gets chopped off (I probably couldn't have done that part though). We told her in no uncertain terms that if she wanted long hair she needed to take care of it---case closed. Good luck!!!

I have very fine, thick hair. It tangles very easily. When I was your sd's age, I had that short bowl haircut, because my mother didn't want to deal with it.

Anyways, I think you can do a couple of things to help. Take her to get it trimmed and add some long layers in (ala the Rachel haircut). Have them thin it out, as well. This will help combing it. Also, it's time to switch out the kid's shampoo. I believe it is damaging her hair and making the tangles worse. I would switch to something like Pantene or Garnier or VO5, something super rich. I also think for a girl this age, she doesn't need to wash her hair so much. Once a week at most should she shampoo. The rest of the time you can just condition it or wet down. If she wants to keep her hair long, after her baths and her hair is combed through, I would braid it. And, keep it up or braided as much as possible on play days.

I don't know if you have seen the infomercials for Wen Haircare. But, it's a totally different way to cleanse your hair. This kind of technique will really help her hair and comb it without much less pain. Instead of shampooing with a regular shampoo, use a conditioner to cleanse. Most conditioners have very mild cleansers as a base and can clean the hair and scalp just fine are are not abrassive to the hair. I looked into switching, myself, but could not afford Wen. After some research, I discovere that I could get the same results using VO5 conditioners.

You apply a generous amount to cover the hair and massage it in really well, massaging your scalp. Then, let it sit while you finishing washing. Then, comb through with a wide-toothed comb and rinse thoroughly. You don't need to use anything else. I used to have frizzy, hard to comb, DRY hair. I have been shampoo free for 12 months and my hair is shiny, soft and looks the best it has ever looked. My frizzy hair is now naturally wavy, when I don't use a straightener. I also use this technique on my kids with great results. My daughter has very fine, tangley hair, too, but it is much easier to comb since I switched to being shampoo free.

Sorry to write a book. But, I hope you can find something to help your stepdaughter!

My suggestion is first don't use a brush on her hair. No one should use a brush unless they are using it to style. A brush is very bad for the hair. Use the wide tooth detangling comb you said you already have.
Next there is a shampoo that I buy at Sally's Beauty Supplies called HEMP. It is great for all types of hair. It has many natural oils such as hemp oil in the shampoo and leaved the hair feeling great. Buy it for the whole family to use they will all love it. Mine does.
Next there is a conditioning balm that is made by Biolage (not sure of spelling) that I get a Ulta beauty supplies. It comes in a screw off tub (not a bottle). You scoop a little out apply it to the hair, leave it on for a short time while you finish bathing and then rinse out.
Between washing try a spray on conditioner. I use the one from Aussie. It can be applied to dry hair. I do not wash my hair everyday either. In fact it was my stylist that said washing the hair everyday if you don't use product in it is bad for the hair.

I'd recommend buying Paul Mitchell's product Super Skinny. It's a serum and coats the hair making it smoother and less likely to tangle. I have thick, curly hair - and even as an adult it still gets tangled! Best bet is to brush it after a shower, put in some product and let it dry naturally. They also make shampoo/conditioner for curly hair that helps moisturize. One that I really like is totally twisted by Herbal Essences.

Good luck!!