Help with Crib Training

You can't spoil a baby. I absolutely hate it when people accuse others of doing that.

Nothing is more hard than being a new mom especially if you don't have any help.

This is a stage but there are things you can do to help and it sounds as if you are doing them like giving him a bath, feeding and rocking him.

My sister read that a baby's first nap of the day should be no more than two hours after they wake up from sleeping during the night. She swears this is why her daughter has such good sleep habits.

I would definitely get a Baby Bjorn or a wrap so that during the day you can have your hands free and yet he gets the closeness he desires.

Good luck.....I am sure that you will get a lot of great answers from this site. Try them and eventually something will work.

C.,

Babies are not fruit that spoils. Really, only two months old and expected to be suddenly independent? Baby can do so much already alone; drive a car, hold down a job, fix dinner, shop for a new outfit, clean the house, plan a party, make mature decisions, and go to bed alone feeling secure.

Babyhood is such a SHORT time of life. You are going to blink and that tiny sweet baby is suddenly going to be an enraged three-year-old throwing a screaming fit in the middle of a store!

Enjoy your infant while you can. Hold baby close to sleep for as long as you can; teach him love through contact with you because that is what he wants and it is so easy to give. In the natural world, other mammals sleep snuggled close to their infants, why do we American humans insist on keeping our infants in a cage by themselves? In many other human cultures throughout the world, babies are naturally in contact with a parent at least until they are a year old or more--sleeping with Mom and being carried in a sling during the day.

Best wishes!
K.

Try a sleep sack. Look on Amazon.... they have lots...
It will make him feel like in a 'cocoon.'
Infants... like that feeling... versus a crib is a big wide open expanse for them.

Many babies... infants... do what your baby is doing... so it is common.
He is NOT spoiled... he is just bonding with you... you are his Mom... it is instinct. Infants like to be close to their Mom. Its NORMAL. He is NOT spoiled..... do not worry.

He is SOOOOO young.... to just be 'independent.' That comes with age and maturity.
IN fact... babies who ARE secure and ARE close with their Mom and are BONDED with their Mom... actually develop more self-assurance and confidence and independence. Leaving a baby alone... will not make him more 'independent.' Actually... babies that are ignored or left alone... develop into a independent baby... because they 'learn' that no one will come to them.... so they just sort of give up.... it is a learned, behavior. Like babies that are in orphanages....

ALSO... always feed him ON-demand.... infants feed every 2-3 hours or less.... and also "cluster-feed" which mean they even need to feed every single hour. If a baby is hungry... they CANNOT sleep.
Your baby may also be hungry, thus cannot sleep...
An infant... has growth-spurts every 3 weeks... then at 3 months old and thereafter every 3 months. Their intake and feedings, increases at these times, especially.

all the best,
Susan

First and most important mom-you CAN NOT spoil a 2 month old. You are their comfort and security in this great big new world that they are trying to figure out. So why wouldn't he want to be close to the sound, smell and comfort that mom provides?

At 2 months he is far to young to let him try to "cry it out"-not that that would ever go down in my house. Don't believe in the method and don't believe it teaches a baby how to sleep. He doesn't know how to self-soothe yet. Even the doctor that wrote the book on CIO says you shouldn't try that till they are at least 6 months old. In my house it's never.

You will have to teach him how to sleep. Yep, babies have to be *taught* how to sleep. They don't automatically know how. By starting routines with him at sleep times he will come to learn what to expect and what is expected.

Here are some things for you to read up on that will make sleep much easier for you and baby:

-Google 4th trimester. That is where he still is. This will give you very valuable ways to soothe baby.

-Read Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. THese all contain valuable tips, tricks and info about infant sleep. When you better understand infant sleep you can help teach baby. It also talks about different personality types of babies. Very helpful info.

-At his age swaddle him before you get ready to rock/hold him to sleep. This way his is already cozy and secure before you lay him down. And don't let people tell you not to hold them to sleep. I held both mine and I have one champion sleeper and one pretty darn good sleeper.

-When you do get ready to lay him down keep him very close to you. I mean you will practically be laying on top of him as you set him down in the crib *but* this helps prevent that falling feeling.

-You might try a crib wedge. It fits snugly under the crib sheet and props baby up just a bit.

I held both my babies till the were sound asleep-around 10 minutes after they fell asleep and that made it easier to put them down.

Take a look at this info above and I promise it will have info that will make you feel much better and more confident in your parenting.

Best to you and baby!

Hi. It sounds like you are a wonderful mommy. Your baby is so little. Some children need more touch and soothing then others. We found my son would not sleep in his crib so I kept him with us. Co- sleeping is the only way I can get any rest at all. I suggest you read dr William sears the baby book and the baby sleep book. It will help you see that the crying it out method is very hard on you and baby. Don't do it it increases an infants cortisol level and wastes many calories needed for growth and development. Just keep loving on your baby and keep him close. As he grows older you can move him from your side to a crib if you want after he is sleeping. A little two month old needs mommy close and I have never believed in an infant self soothing. In 20 years as a pediatric nurse I have never seen a child adversely affected from too much love and touch.
Good luck!

He is a completely normal two month old.....he loves you and wants to be close to you for comfort. I would not do cry it out (CIO) but usually don't comment on others that use it..but I have read a million times that if you choose to use CIO, you should wait until the baby is 6 months old. Please don't let your two month cry for an hour. You can't spoil a baby this young. And you don't sound strange at all -I think it is healthy and normal for a mother to not want to hear her child cry. He is only 2 months old, you have a long while before he "wants to become independent." Give yourselves a break and try and enjoy him. You can try laying him down, rubbing his back, soothing him to sleep so he can try and get used to falling asleep without being held. I honestly had the same issue....my son would wake the second I placed him down. After a very long time of me being consistent (trying to soothe him while he was in bed) it finally worked. It is a rough time right now… you are sleep deprived and can't get anything done...but it really does go by super fast. Good luck.

I would say swaddling, do your rocking, but don't let him fall asleep, just get good and relaxed. Set him down while he is still awake (may need to put a heating pad in the crib before putting him down - and TAKE IT OUT before he goes in). Then, set an alarm, for 3 minutes. Stay away the entire three minutes, go in pad, soothe. I found that if I went forehead to forehead and took REALLY deep relaxed breaths, she seemed to follow, and then walk out and set the timer again. Repeat. This may take awhile. And will definitely take a few days.

You have not spoiled him already, he just needs to be taught what he needs to do, and consistency is key.

He has gotten in the habit of feeling your body heat, hearing your heart beat, feeling the chair rocking and everything else that comes with mom. He does have to learn how to sleep on his own. The Cry It Out (CIO) method does work. The time it takes for each child to learn on their own is going to be different. It may take several days with him crying for several HOURS before he gets that hang of it. You have to be consistent though or he will figure out how to play you. You are 100% correct that children can feel our stress levels and they react accordingly. Keep up the feeding and bathing routine, swaddle him, tell him you love him and walk away from the crib. Hopefully you can maintain sanity while he cries and eventually he will figure out how to sleep on his own.

The best piece of advice I got when I became a parent was "Just because it is not easy does not mean it is not the right thing to do."

I have to edit my response. I agree with what I have already posted, but did not realize your son was 2 months old. He is still very young and does need to learn the difference between cuddle time and sleep time. I liked the timer idea at this age and agree that maybe in a few months use the CIO method.

Have you tried swaddling him? This helped both my boys. At this age they still like to be "balled up". Try this for a few nights in a bassinet or pack n play in your room and then move him to his crib. There is no set rule as to when you have to move him to his crib. My first born was 10 wks old before we moved to his crib, my youngest was 7 wks old. Good Luck and remember there is no mommy book so if you feel you are doing what is right for you and him then keep going you arent spoiling him.

I don't think you spoiled your baby. Sometimes at that age they just need extra attention and doing it all by yourself is stressful. Swaddling and they got a pad that you place the baby in the middle of two stand like things and I think it made my baby feel more secure. Oh and try the bouncy..it gives the motion thing. She lived in ours and the swing for a while.

When our children were born my husband insisted that they sleep in a basinet at the end of our bed and not in the bed with us. This was the hardest thing for me to do, but he insisted. It turns out he was correct. This maid it easier to differentiate "cuddle time" from sleep time. It also teaches them to explore without mommy their all the time. It also made the transition process to their own room seemless. Right now your child has been conditioned to sleep with you. It will be hard but you are going to let him cry. I would try to institute some structure around "cuddle time", because he needs to know there will be time with mother, this is important. He also needs to feel comfortable by himself, so he can begin to explore. When you have him in his crib/basinet and want to do something else, make sure he is recently fed and dry. I would also try making sure there's things to distract him like music, books on tape and mobiles. I know this is hard to hear, but it's ok for a baby to cry even for an hour straight, as long as their ok. You'll notice that if you are persistant, he will cry less and less when you put him in the crib. I know it's hard especially when you are on your own. You'll want to establish these standards now because they are harder to institute the older the child gets. Hang in there!!

Have you tried swaddling your baby? I had good luck with the halo sleep sack and even better luck using The Woombie swaddle blanket (order online). My baby slept swaddled in a co sleeper bassinet beside my bed for 6 months, this helped us both get rest because when he needed me (I nursed) I was right there. In my experience with two babies, what your baby is doing is very normal and you are in no way spoiling him by picking him up so don't worry. The first few months can be tough, I was able to get my babies to sleep 2-3 hour stretches in the first 3 months by swaddling them, after that they gradually began sleeping longer and longer stretches. I got a lot done in the day by carrying my baby in a front carrier as well. Best of luck, get rest whenever you can, and enjoy it because it goes quickly!

Relax and take a deep breath. Follow YOUR gut, not those around you. Listen to all the advice, it is probably given with love. But, in the end, you are the mom. You, and only you, get to decide what is best for your baby. If you want to cuddle him all the time, do it. Get a wrap or sling & wear him. You want to co-sleep, do it. It's great. You will get SOOO much advice that your head will spin-if it's not already. Parenting is not a black & white issue. Meaning, you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to. I read on here all the time about things that parents HAVE to do-ie: you HAVE to make the baby sleep in it's own bed, you HAVE to CIO. No, you don't HAVE to do any of that. Research Attachment Parenting, it does sound like most of what you're already doing.
Relax, all will be well.

I recommend the Baby Whisperer. She has great tips for getting your baby to sleep alone without letting him cry it out.

He is still so young, he just wants to be close to M.. Both my kids were like this and I put them to sleep in the swing. They slept for longer stretches and never cried themselves to sleep. My son slept in there for about 6 months until we slowly transitioned him into a crib and my daughter slept in the swing her whole first year before I put her in a crib. I also found that some noise (like a fan or sound machine) helps so much. It is just a stage you cannot spoil a newborn, when they cry its because they need you, as they get older you will figure out their habits and what works for you and what doesn't. I also found that it was easier to put them to sleep as they got older because they would tire themselves playing so it was easier to transition into the crib, for us anyway. Also I would carry a vibrating chair into the bathroom so I could take a shower, or into different rooms so I could get a few things done. Just make sure you put it on the floor. Congrats on the baby.

I won't say that you spoiled him, if its ok with you to hold him all the time, then it doesn't hurt him. The problem comes later when you want your personal space back and you are frustrated that he doesn't sleep on his own. I would say that you have trained him to go to sleep in your arms - again that won't hurt him so long as you are willing to do it every time.

I wouldn't let him cry for more than 15 minutes at that age. However, you do need to keep trying if you want him t learn to sleep on his own. I would sooth, check diaper, think about whether he should be hungry and rock him to relaxation again before putting him back down.

Do try swaddling,

Put him down or start his sleep routine at the VERY first yawn or eye rub. The more tired they are when you try to put them down the harder it is for them to get to sleep. The other poster is absolutely right that your baby should never be up more that two hours at a time at this age - after that they fight sleep because they get an adrenaline surge to help them stay awake.