Help with Caring for My Dying Dad

Yes--it is possible. We have a family friend with an ill mother...they said they could use $XXX pr month toward her care of use it themselves, which is what they're doing.

contact the In Home Support Services (IHSS) division of your local county government. there are income restrictions, so if he has a good retirement income he may not qualify. call a local hospice and see what they can do to help you out also. sorry about your dad.

.

Hey, don't feel bad about asking this question. You pay taxes and should use whatever services are available. Whether or not you can get paid depends on your Dad's financial situation. In Oregon, a person can only own a specific amount in property, cash, and investments and if they own more than that they have to pay that down 2 years before receiving aid.

Call the California Department of Human Resources for information.

If your Dad has long term care insurance they may pay you for taking care of him. Also some medical insurance pays for in home help, such as housekeeping, grooming, nurse visits, etc.

My aunt lived with me, owned no property, had only SS for income and she received in home care in my home but I didn't get paid. Her in home care was paid by Medicare, I think. She had a nurse come to the house, periodically, and a personal caretaker 2 mornings/wk. That person gave her baths, changed her bed, did her laundry, and helped me in a few general ways related to her care. A social worker visited every so often to ascertain what care she needed.

My mother also lived with me for a few months and after she had surgery for gall stones, she had a visiting nurse come in once a week. I think that was also paid by Medicare.

Medicare assistance has no income or property limitations.

I am empathetic. My parents were in poor health their last few years. I know how difficult it is just to provide minimal care as well as to share your home. Your father needs more care than my parents needed. I hope that you can find a way to get paid.

You said your Dad could pay for care those 2 days. Perhaps he would consider paying you. I don't know your family situation but it's easier to make plans for money and assets while the family member is still able to participate in planning. If he's worried about his money running out, which has concerned every ill older person that I've known, the state will step in and help once he does.

Wendy mentioned Hospice. They can help you. My mother was put on Hospice a few days before she died. They were of help to the family after she died too. And I was a crisis voluteer that responded to a couple of home deaths in which Hospice was involved. They were a great help in those situations.

Have you checked into Hospice care? You would be suprised at what they can offer your family and especially your father.

I Would have your Dad check with Social Security or his Medical Insurance and see if anything like that is available.
I don't know if your Father qualifies for Hospice Care now...but if he does, they should have Respite Care that might be available for you. I know that they have "adult day care'....sort of like a nursing home set up....think the public areas of a nursing home where they gather for meals and activities.
At the very least, talk with one of the counselors at Hospice and see if they have any suggestions for you!!!

When my Grandfather was dying of pancreatic cancer it was difficult on the family because we all have full-time jobs. My mom found out about volunteers coming over certain times when the family needed but I'm not too sure what all they did.
Such as I don't know if they just sat there with him or if they actually "helped" him as far as bathroom, bathing, etc. My mom only used them when she needed a "break". You might could check with Hospice care to find out because I think that is where she found out about it. My heart goes to you because I wouldn't wish cancer upon my very worst enemy and its even more difficult to watch someone you care about so much fade away especially when you remember them having such "life" beforehand.
I never heard of anyone paying you though-that would have been good to know back then. Even though my Grandfather was very comfortable money-wise and did pay my mother to care for him and she felt guilty for doing so but my dad had lost his job and she was losing money at work because of all the time she was taking off and not having the vacation/sick days to take so she had to without pay. The way I see it is if anyone else was caring for him he would be having to pay them anyways and most likely 10x that amount so don't feel guilty for asking that question. Hugs :())

you very well may be able to. It's called in-home health care. I would start by looking at the county listings in your telephone book and just start making calls. Someone will be able to direct you to the right person. I'm sorry I can't be more help with who to call, but I know the financial assistance is out there for you.

My mother cared for my father for 7 years before he died. There are services out there. She never got paid but maybe it's different if it's your father. I would call Family Caregiver Alliance in San Francisco. ###-###-####) They cover the whole Bay Area. They help with respite and support of the caregiver. For my mom she had a caregiver come in for free for a period of time. You may also be eligible for hospice care and in home care - like someone who comes and bathes your father. Family Caregiver Alliance can point you in right direction. I'm in Pleasant Hill too if you wish to contact me. Good-luck. :)

Interesting I know of a few people also in this situation....I'm curious to see what answers you get. I wish you patience and the very best for your family.